How many people have you had sex with?

[LLJsmom]

I wish my husband was my one and only. However that is not the case and I was young with very low self esteem and self worth and thought the only thing of value that I had to give was sex at one point in my life. If I could go back and redo it I wouldn't have slept with any of them. I will say though that due to sexual trauma and rape in both my childhood and young adult life contributed to that low self worth and affected many of the poor sexual decisions that I made thought out my life. Thankfully the Lord restores all things and none of the poor decisions I made had any life long (physical) consequences-which easily could have happened. I am still dealing the the trauma that occurred in my life and am actually gearing up for some serious therapy here in the near future that will hopefully lay to rest the emotional and spiritual repercussions of both my actions and the traumas that happened in my childhood.

I wish you the best vintagelover229. Takes a lot of courage to have gone through this and share. May God continue to bless you and walk with you on your journey to restoration and healing.

 

[LLJsmom]

I don't see polls in Tapatalk so I can't vote in the poll. However, I married my high school sweetheart and he has been my one and only. I was blessed to find my soul mate when I was only 15 and we have continued to grow together rather than grow apart in the 23 years since.

Hey purplesparklies, I met my DH when I was 15 too!! My first and only boyfriend, and never dated anyone else before we got married 10 years later. Same for him, except he was 16 when we met our sophomore year in high school. We grew up together, went through tons of stuff together, and are stronger and happier for it. 27 years and two children later, no regrets. I could not be more blessed. So you figure out my number.

 

[kenny]

Do fantasy sex partners count???

Only as much as diamonds you wished you owned.

 

[Niel]

All have a right to their own opinion whether they are feeling none, one or many are the best for them.
When you open it up for discussion people will state their preferences and you know "people vary".

I love the people vary thing.
I'd use it to help accept diversity … in this case of the number of people a person has been with.

However writing things like, "I assume others with high numbers must be embarrassed' is not respecting diversity.
It is projecting person A's values onto person B.
Not cool.

So, once again we have that paradox … Should we tolerate intolerance in the name of tolerance?

Please dont quote me out of context.

 

[kenny]

Sorry Niel.
Nothing personal.

Frankly I try to address ideas, not people.
Subtle, but actually a huge distinction.

 

[Niel]

Sorry Neil.
Nothing personal.

Frankly I'm addressing ideas, not people.
Subtle, but huge distinction.

No problem. Just to quote me when trying to demonstrate intolerance from this thread is inaccurate as i was saying the exact opposite

 

[kenny]

Sorry Neil.
Nothing personal.

Frankly I'm addressing ideas, not people.
Subtle, but huge distinction.

No problem. Just to quote me when trying to demonstrate intolerance from this thread is inaccurate as i was saying the exact opposite

Got it.

BTW, what are your feelings about the paradox of tolerating intolerance?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Not everyone buys into the story that fewer partners is better … uhm … clearly.
IMO it's not okay to assume others are embarrassed for making choices that others do not 'approve' of.

...but more partners may make you better at it. Sorry, I couldn't resist!! This thread is cracking me up!!

Uhm, let's not mention cracks on a sex thread.

I think msop meant S&M...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Do fantasy sex partners count???

What was Wilt Chamberlain's count? Does anyone remember?

He said 20k+ women but that's bunch of B.S.!!

 

[kenny]

Not everyone buys into the story that fewer partners is better … uhm … clearly.
IMO it's not okay to assume others are embarrassed for making choices that others do not 'approve' of.

...but more partners may make you better at it. Sorry, I couldn't resist!! This thread is cracking me up!!

Uhm, let's not mention cracks on a sex thread.

I think msop meant M&S...

What's M&S … backwards S&M?

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="kenny|1394329365|
What's M&S … backwards S&M?[/quote]


Ok, I just edited ..

 

[Lady_Disdain]

The masochists were complaining - why do the sadists always have to come first?

 

[kenny]

Ok, I just edited ..

Whew.

I thought M&S was some new sex craze you young kids had created.

 

[purplesparklies]

Hey purplesparklies, I met my DH when I was 15 too!! My first and only boyfriend, and never dated anyone else before we got married 10 years later. Same for him, except he was 16 when we met our sophomore year in high school. We grew up together, went through tons of stuff together, and are stronger and happier for it. 27 years and two children later, no regrets. I could not be more blessed. So you figure out my number.

Hello! How fun! I had dated a few guys before my hubby. I started dating too early but it was never close to being serious. My hubby never dated anyone else. We were sophomores, as well. I was 15 and he was 16. We have been through it all, it seems. Interestingly, when we went to our freshman orientation for college, the President of the college stood onstage and said something to the effect of: If you came here with a boyfriend or girlfriend, take a good look at him/her because your relationship will be over before freshman year ends. We had already been dating 2.5 years by that time. I was completely taken aback and wondered if college would cause us to change that much. We changed tremendously but we never grew apart. We also have two kids. Boys. Ours are 12 and 8

Congrats on 27 years! Wonderful to hear! We seem to be an aberration. I'm thrilled to be one! .

 

[LLJsmom]

Hey purplesparklies, I met my DH when I was 15 too!! My first and only boyfriend, and never dated anyone else before we got married 10 years later. Same for him, except he was 16 when we met our sophomore year in high school. We grew up together, went through tons of stuff together, and are stronger and happier for it. 27 years and two children later, no regrets. I could not be more blessed. So you figure out my number.

Hello! How fun! I had dated a few guys before my hubby. I started dating too early but it was never close to being serious. My hubby never dated anyone else. We were sophomores, as well. I was 15 and he was 16. We have been through it all, it seems. Interestingly, when we went to our freshman orientation for college, the President of the college stood onstage and said something to the effect of: If you came here with a boyfriend or girlfriend, take a good look at him/her because your relationship will be over before freshman year ends. We had already been dating 2.5 years by that time. I was completely taken aback and wondered if college would cause us to change that much. We changed tremendously but we never grew apart. We also have two kids. Boys. Ours are 12 and 8

Congrats on 27 years! Wonderful to hear! We seem to be an aberration. I'm thrilled to be one! .

Hi Purple, I love it that we have similar stories. I always feel like a freak, but it's so nice to know I'm not alone in my experience. Yes, we did the long distance relationship for 4 years in college. Our universities were 400 miles apart, and boy were our phone bills expensive back then. Texting would have been a lot cheaper! Yes, it was challenging and rewarding. I wouldn't change a thing. My son is 11 and daughter is 8. Time is flying by so quickly. We are surely growing old together. Congratulations to you and your DH. May you both have many wonderful years to come.

 

[JulieN]

I met my bf when I was 12. And he's a year younger than me... jeebus, does that mean he was 11?

Of course we did not start dating until a decade later, for which I am very thankful for!

 

[hippi_pixi]

great poll! interesting spread of results

 

[movie zombie]

The masochists were complaining - why do the sadists always have to come first?

oh, geez, best line in this whole thread AND signature worthy!

eta: ok, I've just got to ask: in this day and age of internet hacking and privacy issues as well past threads and comments here on pricescope: are none of you worried at all about your comments and/or responses being used against you at some future time? just curious...... when we so willingly give out private info here do we have a right to expect our privacy to be respected? just waxing philosophically so early in the a.m..............

 

[Niel]

The masochists were complaining - why do the sadists always have to come first?

oh, geez, best line in this whole thread AND signature worthy!

eta: ok, I've just got to ask: in this day and age of internet hacking and privacy issues as well past threads and comments here on pricescope: are none of you worried at all about your comments and/or responses being used against you at some future time? just curious...... when we so willingly give out private info here do we have a right to expect our privacy to be respected? just waxing philosophically so early in the a.m..............

Used against you how?

 

[kenny]

The masochists were complaining - why do the sadists always have to come first?

oh, geez, best line in this whole thread AND signature worthy!

eta: ok, I've just got to ask: in this day and age of internet hacking and privacy issues as well past threads and comments here on pricescope: are none of you worried at all about your comments and/or responses being used against you at some future time? just curious...... when we so willingly give out private info here do we have a right to expect our privacy to be respected? just waxing philosophically so early in the a.m..............

Used against you how?

Your phone rings …

"Hello, this is Ms. X from company Y where you recently interviewed for a job.
Ma'am your qualifications are perfect, but we've discovered that you've had one more sex partner than our company policy permits.
Actually, our company was looking for someone with better morals.
I'm sorry, but we wish you gook luck in your job search.

We'll keep your CV on file and let you know if we get desperate or lower our standards. "

 

[momhappy]

If you put it out there, you should expect that it could be used in some way, shape, or form…
I had someone steal one of my FB images and post it to a fashion web site (it was my profile pic and all of my other images were set so that only my "friends" had access to them). It's not like it was horrible, but it was still creepy and got me thinking about over-sharing on the internet. When I interview & hire babysitters, I check their FB pages. There was one instance where I chose not to even interview a potential candidate because she had lots of sloppy, drunk pictures on her FB page.

 

[kenny]

If you put it out there, you should expect that it could be used in some way, shape, or form…
I had someone steal one of my FB images and post it to a fashion web site (it was my profile pic and all of my other images were set so that only my "friends" had access to them). It's not like it was horrible, but it was still creepy and got me thinking about over-sharing on the internet. When I interview & hire babysitters, I check their FB pages. There was one instance where I chose not to even interview a potential candidate because she had lots of sloppy, drunk pictures on her FB page.

But I think the point of this poll is people vary even on # of partners.
All 114 voters are equal.

Each of us gets to run only one life.
We don't get to dictate how others should be, short of breaking laws.

I suggest that it's not cool to say or suggest that what the overwhelming majority here has chosen to do during their life is the moral equivalent of being sloppy drunk.

 

[momhappy]

If you put it out there, you should expect that it could be used in some way, shape, or form…
I had someone steal one of my FB images and post it to a fashion web site (it was my profile pic and all of my other images were set so that only my "friends" had access to them). It's not like it was horrible, but it was still creepy and got me thinking about over-sharing on the internet. When I interview & hire babysitters, I check their FB pages. There was one instance where I chose not to even interview a potential candidate because she had lots of sloppy, drunk pictures on her FB page.

But I think the point of this poll is people vary even on # of partners.
All 114 voters are equal.

Each of us gets to run only one life.
We don't get to dictate how others should be, short of breaking laws.

I suggest that it's not cool to say or suggest that what the vast majority has chosen to do during their life is the moral equivalent of being sloppy drunk.

My post that you quoted above about the babysitter/FB thing has nothing at all to do with the subject of this thread (how many sexual partners people have had). It was a general comment in response to the question from movie zombie about how people felt about sharing personal info on the internet. I wasn't suggesting anything or making any sort of comparisons. I was pointing out that what you post on the internet, can be used against you.

 

[kenny]

If you put it out there, you should expect that it could be used in some way, shape, or form…
I had someone steal one of my FB images and post it to a fashion web site (it was my profile pic and all of my other images were set so that only my "friends" had access to them). It's not like it was horrible, but it was still creepy and got me thinking about over-sharing on the internet. When I interview & hire babysitters, I check their FB pages. There was one instance where I chose not to even interview a potential candidate because she had lots of sloppy, drunk pictures on her FB page.

But I think the point of this poll is people vary even on # of partners.
All 114 voters are equal.

Each of us gets to run only one life.
We don't get to dictate how others should be, short of breaking laws.

I suggest that it's not cool to say or suggest that what the vast majority has chosen to do during their life is the moral equivalent of being sloppy drunk.

My post that you quoted above about the babysitter/FB thing has nothing at all to do with the subject of this thread (how many sexual partners people have had). It was a general comment in response to the question from movie zombie about how people felt about sharing personal info on the internet. I wasn't suggesting anything or making any sort of comparisons. I was pointing out that what you post on the internet, can be used against you.

Yes, and I'm pointing out # of sex partners is not on the list of things that can be used against you, except perhaps if you break your vow of monogamy, which is a different topic and thread.
Everyone respects diversity now. Right?
Being gay is also no longer on the list … that topic is probably why I notice other injustices.

Some of us are pulling the world in the right direction, respecting diversity.
Others want to pull us back towards the dark ages of my group is superior to your group in the name their imagined-up and agreed-to so-called "morality".

Times change.
The world gets better.
It's inevitable.

 

[momhappy]

^No, the number of sex partners you have can't necessarily be used against you, but sharing certain personal information can still create issues. For example, I chose not to hire that babysitter based on what I felt was the over-sharing of inappropriate images on FB. That young woman can choose to do what she wants with her life, and she can choose to post those choices on FB for the world to see, but I don't have to hire her to care for my children.

 

[movie zombie]

I'm not thinking job interview [however, some employers are NOT ethical about asking around or trying to find "the dirt"] although also if applying for a security job [no not the mall security type] it could be used against one.....

while many are now happily married, that does not always remain so and attorneys do employ PI's to get "the dirt" to be used in not only the divorce but child custody cases....and then there is the scary reality these days of stalkers and just plain nasty people out to blackmail you.

I think the real question for me is does anyone have a right to expect privacy at all in this society when we give info so willingly over the internet. but, hey, each to their own.

in case you all didn't catch it, more or fewer sexual partners is of no concern to me....each one makes their decision about that as well!

 

[Niel]

I'm not thinking job interview [however, some employers are NOT ethical about asking around or trying to find "the dirt"] although also if applying for a security job [no not the mall security type] it could be used against one.....

while many are now happily married, that does not always remain so and attorneys do employ PI's to get "the dirt" to be used in not only the divorce but child custody cases....and then there is the scary reality these days of stalkers and just plain nasty people out to blackmail you.

I think the real question for me is does anyone have a right to expect privacy at all in this society when we give info so willingly over the internet. but, hey, each to their own.

in case you all didn't catch it, more or fewer sexual partners is of no concern to me....each one makes their decision about that as well!

I get what you mean. You tell your hubby you've only ever slept with him but on the internet you're telling how you've slept with his entire department at work. Extreme example but I get what you're saying.

I get why someone might not put their number up because you may not know my name or who I am but you could say "I saw that post Niel made she is such a tramp/prude"
But still I dont see why you can't vote. No one even knows you've voted.

As for you're larger remark about privacy I understand what you mean. I do still think there's an expectation of privacy as if I'm not putting it all over facieb or twitter, there must be a reason. KWIM

 

[Dancing Fire]

Who is the 1%?..

 

[nkarma]

If you put it out there, you should expect that it could be used in some way, shape, or form…
I had someone steal one of my FB images and post it to a fashion web site (it was my profile pic and all of my other images were set so that only my "friends" had access to them). It's not like it was horrible, but it was still creepy and got me thinking about over-sharing on the internet. When I interview & hire babysitters, I check their FB pages. There was one instance where I chose not to even interview a potential candidate because she had lots of sloppy, drunk pictures on her FB page.

But I think the point of this poll is people vary even on # of partners.
All 114 voters are equal.

Each of us gets to run only one life.
We don't get to dictate how others should be, short of breaking laws.

I suggest that it's not cool to say or suggest that what the overwhelming majority here has chosen to do during their life is the moral equivalent of being sloppy drunk.

I think MZ was not so much referring to individuals who check up on babysitters or even a lot employers. Every response in this thread as well as others (Income polls, etc..) have been recorded by large information sourcing companies. To think otherwise is naive. Public forums have been hacked into time and time again.

I consider everything I write, search for, buy, etc... online to say Jane Doe at 1234 address & 10 other previous addresses & a suprisingly personal list about everything I have ever done just said she likes AVCs, has $XXX income, and X sexual partners.

 

[vintagelover229]

I wish my husband was my one and only. However that is not the case and I was young with very low self esteem and self worth and thought the only thing of value that I had to give was sex at one point in my life. If I could go back and redo it I wouldn't have slept with any of them. I will say though that due to sexual trauma and rape in both my childhood and young adult life contributed to that low self worth and affected many of the poor sexual decisions that I made thought out my life. Thankfully the Lord restores all things and none of the poor decisions I made had any life long (physical) consequences-which easily could have happened. I am still dealing the the trauma that occurred in my life and am actually gearing up for some serious therapy here in the near future that will hopefully lay to rest the emotional and spiritual repercussions of both my actions and the traumas that happened in my childhood.

I wish you the best vintagelover229. Takes a lot of courage to have gone through this and share. May God continue to bless you and walk with you on your journey to restoration and healing.

LLJsmom-I thought it was best to be honest. I'm at a very good place in my life now-and am very happy with who I am. But that wasn't always the case. I know far too many young women who are doing the same thing or perhaps have done-and are still lying to themselves about the reasons they are making the sexual decisions that they are. One was raped twice (2 different times) and was with her boyfriend and decided she would have sex with him so she wouldn't lose him (and in part I believe because the decision was taken from her the first 2 times that this decision she made on her own) but told me had the other times never happened-she never would have had sex with him. I find this heart breaking because she tells me she feels dirty and worthless (another separate thread).

More than once I was raped while in a drunken state (took me years to admit this to myself) and I feel that men think it's okay due to our movie/media culture to 'take advantage' of a woman since she isn't 'saying no' that means it's a 'yes' which IMO is NOT the case at all. I feel that if you want to enter into a relationship with such high repercussions (kids-STDs/etc) that both parties should know that is a very firm YES on all accounts. Alas many people seem to disagree with me and blame the women. I agree I should have been more responsible and perhaps surrounded myself with people who I trusted more but someone else I know (very close to me) had her virginity taken from her while hanging out with her cousin-her cousins bf and a mutal male friend that she had known all her life. Someone she thought she could trust-raped her when she was blacked out-at 16. She is now thinking of having sex with her bf for the same reasons that I posted above like the other young adult woman I know.

The even sadder part is that the women that I am talking about are unable to enjoy sex since the way that they were brought into sexual maturity wasn't in a healthy manner and it can and will (until they face it and deal with the hurt) impact their sexual relationships for life. This is coming from someone who has a fairly healthy sex life with her husband but if I am totally honest with myself-know that I have issues to deal with if I really want to connect on a deep and spiritual level that sex was intended for.

Sex with those you love is always different than those you don't. Which IMO says something about the act itself. Now I realize this is different for everyone but as kenny has stated so many times in this thread 'people vary'

I want to thank you for taking time to acknowledge my post-I didn't post for anyone but myself and perhaps to help someone lurking who may feel the same way. However that being said I did find it interesting to see it passed up for must 'lighter' reading material.