bliss_cathy
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2012
- Messages
- 219
Okay, I'm going to try to abridge this as much as possible (and it's still super long sorry!), I think the whole thing actually shocked me a bit which is why I need to write it down. I have a friend who is not a close friend but for some reason I seem to have been the go to person for her when things fall apart for her, I think maybe because I used to be quite good friends with her Ex. In all honesty I find it difficult to spend a lot of time with her as advice seems to fall on deaf ears and she is very different in personality to other friends and family I usually surround myself with. I probably talked to her about once every 3-5 months.
About four years ago she called me because she broke up with her Ex. I listened was the sympathetic ear etc. Tried to help her to move on, encourage her to do exercise etc, she is still currently single.
Over a a year ago I get another phone call to be picked up because she has been fired from her job and doesn't have a car to get home. I listened again. She was suing her company for unfair dismissal and also had two consecutive flat mates move out on her. Ie she was broke.
It gets worse.
2 years beforehand she was in a minor car accident, she walked away from it fine, but decided to use that to claim for workers compensation.
So then all of a sudden she started constantly complaining of pain in her back etc...she was successful in the workers comp claim and workers comp was paying her her salary allowing her to stay at home.
I tried to encourage her to look for work etc, get a hobby etc but she didn't work or look for work for a year. During this time she was exercising etc. Had found a new flatmate etc and her back was fine.
Then 2 months ago I hear from her again. Her workers comp was due to finish in 2 months. All of a sudden the back pain was back with a vengeance, and she needed me to drive her to the drs as she was in so much pain. I drove her to the drs. She picked up a plethora of drugs ranging from sleeping tablets and valium, to strong pain killers. She also needed to borrow money. I was quite worried and said you should not be taking all those drugs together.
2 weeks later I thought her back would be better and she texted me saying she was on crutches and she was seeing an acute pain specialist. At this point I said something along the lines of 'please get a second opinion, I am worried about all the drugs and I am worried that at your age you should be focused on getting better ie. getting a job, a boyfriend, a hobby, not dwelling on being in pain.' To which she replied very long and nasty texts, about as long as this whole post, going on about how could I not believe she was in pain, the accident has ruined her life, why would she change drs and her diagnosis if she is currently getting workers compensation because of that etc. I didn't reply for a couple days, and then said, I'm sorry but I was worried. She sent more long winded texts demanding me to say she was in pain, telling me what I should be doing as a friend etc. Now she was suing for loss of future income and needs money for stay a home nurses, etc and that I need to support her as that is what a friend would do. I was quite shocked. So I just wrote back, I'm sorry I think there was a misunderstanding.
1) I listened to her complain about my friend when they broke up, even though I know he's a good guy 2) I listened when she was fired from two jobs about how bad the company and bosses were 3) when her flat mates moved out I listed to how bad they were 4) when she got workers comp for a year I listened to how her back was so sore...
However 5) I can't keep listening when you have not moved on and bettered any part of your life over 4 years!
Anyhow, I didn't once get angry, I kept my cool, but didn't speak to be for about 6 weeks as I was away for Xmas and New Years with family and friends. So when I got back from holidays, I see she's defriended me on Facebook!! After everything!! Such a passive aggressive thing to do.
Sigh....so that's my vent. She was also the type of person to say underhanded comments, like 'not everyone has such a flashy engagement ring like you do', Or 'people only live where you do because they are snobs' etc so I know she was never a great friend to me. Also everything was always about her dramas, constantly, it was exhausting and draining.
I just feel like saying poor me! I hope I'm not being delusional to think that I need some sympathy after all this!!
Thanks to anyone who read this, I know it was long!!!
About four years ago she called me because she broke up with her Ex. I listened was the sympathetic ear etc. Tried to help her to move on, encourage her to do exercise etc, she is still currently single.
Over a a year ago I get another phone call to be picked up because she has been fired from her job and doesn't have a car to get home. I listened again. She was suing her company for unfair dismissal and also had two consecutive flat mates move out on her. Ie she was broke.
It gets worse.
2 years beforehand she was in a minor car accident, she walked away from it fine, but decided to use that to claim for workers compensation.
So then all of a sudden she started constantly complaining of pain in her back etc...she was successful in the workers comp claim and workers comp was paying her her salary allowing her to stay at home.
I tried to encourage her to look for work etc, get a hobby etc but she didn't work or look for work for a year. During this time she was exercising etc. Had found a new flatmate etc and her back was fine.
Then 2 months ago I hear from her again. Her workers comp was due to finish in 2 months. All of a sudden the back pain was back with a vengeance, and she needed me to drive her to the drs as she was in so much pain. I drove her to the drs. She picked up a plethora of drugs ranging from sleeping tablets and valium, to strong pain killers. She also needed to borrow money. I was quite worried and said you should not be taking all those drugs together.
2 weeks later I thought her back would be better and she texted me saying she was on crutches and she was seeing an acute pain specialist. At this point I said something along the lines of 'please get a second opinion, I am worried about all the drugs and I am worried that at your age you should be focused on getting better ie. getting a job, a boyfriend, a hobby, not dwelling on being in pain.' To which she replied very long and nasty texts, about as long as this whole post, going on about how could I not believe she was in pain, the accident has ruined her life, why would she change drs and her diagnosis if she is currently getting workers compensation because of that etc. I didn't reply for a couple days, and then said, I'm sorry but I was worried. She sent more long winded texts demanding me to say she was in pain, telling me what I should be doing as a friend etc. Now she was suing for loss of future income and needs money for stay a home nurses, etc and that I need to support her as that is what a friend would do. I was quite shocked. So I just wrote back, I'm sorry I think there was a misunderstanding.
1) I listened to her complain about my friend when they broke up, even though I know he's a good guy 2) I listened when she was fired from two jobs about how bad the company and bosses were 3) when her flat mates moved out I listed to how bad they were 4) when she got workers comp for a year I listened to how her back was so sore...
However 5) I can't keep listening when you have not moved on and bettered any part of your life over 4 years!
Anyhow, I didn't once get angry, I kept my cool, but didn't speak to be for about 6 weeks as I was away for Xmas and New Years with family and friends. So when I got back from holidays, I see she's defriended me on Facebook!! After everything!! Such a passive aggressive thing to do.
Sigh....so that's my vent. She was also the type of person to say underhanded comments, like 'not everyone has such a flashy engagement ring like you do', Or 'people only live where you do because they are snobs' etc so I know she was never a great friend to me. Also everything was always about her dramas, constantly, it was exhausting and draining.
I just feel like saying poor me! I hope I'm not being delusional to think that I need some sympathy after all this!!
Thanks to anyone who read this, I know it was long!!!
thank you!
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