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Em-PHA-sis on the wrong sy-LAB-le ....

Circe

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
8,087
Warning: punning and some physical ... humor ... (for lack of a better word).

"A teenager who crashed into a tree while allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol was found to have stashed an unusually large quantity of stolen jewelry inside his rectum, police in Pennsylvania said.

Christopher Scheller, 18, came to an abrupt stop after driving off the road in Heidelberg Township and striking a tree.

He was taken to a nearby hospital where doctors X-rayed him and found "an abnormality" inside his rectum, according to the police report.

The "unusual find" — which Scheller initially refused to allow hospital staff to remove — consisted of four bracelets, four necklaces, 11 ladies rings, a socket wrench, and a bag of synthetic marijuana for good measure.

Authorities detemined [sic] that Scheller had stolen the items from a home and quickly stuffed them up his rectum when he saw an officer approaching his car following the crash.

The teen was subsequently charged with theft and DUI, among other charges. He remains in jail in lieu of $75,000 bail."

http://gawker.com/police-find-entire-jewelry-store-inside-teens-rectum-1498087396

I've heard of ugly-ass diamonds, but this really does imply that he may have taken this XKCD cartoon too literally.

hyphen.jpg
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
The subject of this tread is one of my favorite movie quotes.

Also, ouch.
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
Messages
12,586
I feel really stupid admitting I don't get the joke. :twirl:
 

Matata

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 10, 2003
Messages
8,502
What an informative article! I did not know there was such a thing as synthetic marijuana. Does it produce an artificial high? And kudos to this teenager, who in the midst of the double stressors of a car accident and imminent capture by police, had the presence of mind to stuff his wreck-tum full of valuables. I wouldn't have the presence of mind under such stress to do that nor the manual dexterity.

In one of my Shakespeare classes, long ago, a young man asked the professor what type of furniture a LAMENtable was :lol:
 
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