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Does your significant other fib?

CedarRapids

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Did s/he always stretch the truth, exaggerate, hide information?

Are you as forthcoming?
 

tyty333

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Nope, my never fibs...he is all about integrity. If he doesnt have anything nice to say he keeps his mouth shut.

Me...I dont usually tell fibs but it did happen recently when someone touched on something that
was not something I wanted to share(in front of a bunch of people). If you dont make up a small fib then
they assume the worst so I went with the small fib. I feel a little bit bad about it and thought about coming
clean to this person in private but now that its over with I dont think I'll bring it back up.
 

Skippy123

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Jennifer W|1324996579|3089216 said:
Never. He's the only person I ever met who is totally honest but never brutal or unkind.

this. I think if he did fib that would bother me. I use to date guys that would fib and I felt like that told me a lot about them. I guess it depends on the situation but overall not something I like.
 

luv2sparkle

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No. Never. Ever. I like it that way.
 

Rhea

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I'm sure he does, the average person is thought to lie several times a day.

I'd say his most common lie is telling me that he's fine when I can tell something is bothering him. Or that an item of food tastes nice when I'm sure it really needs less salt, but it's too late to change it. I do prefer to have some things hidden from me. There are times I have stupid haircuts, come home crying, and the worse thing he could do is point out how foul it looks even though I've asked him or pestered him for an answer. Or that the soup I took to his parents house for Christmas, well, it really didn't work. It's a lie that it tastes "nice" or "fine" but the reassurance that it doesn't matter is a relationship saver.
 

packrat

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Depends on the situation I suppose. Sometimes at work he has to gloss things over/leave some info out/be evasive in his answers to the workers..it's not something he enjoys doing but if someone asks if he knows why they didn't get a job they applied for, or why they were transferred to someone else's room to work, he can't say "I transferred you because you whine and cry all day about a job that a two year old could do it and b/c you smell like pot every day and call in sick all the time" No, he'll fib and say "Sorry man, the room is slowing down so I had to shift some people around" He doesn't fib to me or the kids about things.
 

Haven

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No, he doesn't. He can be brutally honest at times, which can definitely come across as rude, but I prefer it this way.

For example, my sister just cut her hair really short and she asked my DH "Do you like it?" His response? "No, I prefer longer hair, especially yours because it's so thick." She wasn't offended because she knows he won't lie, but we were sitting with a group of people and there were a couple gaping mouths. He said "Why ask if you want me to lie about it?" Which is a good point.

I fib. I would never tell someone I don't like her new haircut, instead I'd avoid the question and say something like "It's really cute" or "It makes your hair look so much curlier." I don't lie to my DH, though, never. He makes me a better person in this regard.

It was important to me to find a man who is brutally honest. My father is a compulsive liar, so I'm pretty sure that's why I care about it so much. It's really difficult to live with someone who lies, in the end it become habit to never trust a word he says. I can't have that in my marriage.
 

kenny

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Fib is a funny word.

I think of a fib as a lie that's ranked as okay because it is so unimportant - which is a HUGE messy gray area since what is deemed unimportant to one person may be deemed important to another.
 

vc10um

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Haven|1325008183|3089352 said:
It was important to me to find a man who is brutally honest. My father is a compulsive liar, so I'm pretty sure that's why I care about it so much. It's really difficult to live with someone who lies, in the end it become habit to never trust a word he says. I can't have that in my marriage.

Remove the "brutally" and you and I are in the same boat, Haven. DH is quite honest, and he's that way with pretty much everyone, though he does like to avoid hurting feelings, so he's generally gentle, unless you've recently ruffled his feathers. I'll admit to having a bit of a fragile self-esteem, so a little fib here and there (a la packy's or Addy's DH) is sometimes helpful, but for the most part, DH shoots as straight as an arrow. He's also been known to fib...or more likely, just gloss over the truth...when it comes to keeping a gift or something of that nature a surprise, but I count that on a totally different plane...that's more of a "cover up" than a "fib" I guess. But are they really different?

ETA: I'm also on the level with Haven when it comes to how *I* fib.
 

monarch64

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My ex-husband was very dishonest. I refused to make that mistake again, so no, my significant other, now husband, does not fib. I do not include glossing things over or sparing someone's feelings in the realm of fibbing, or lying. I call that "spin." ;))
 

Haven

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vc10um--I'm sorry to hear that we come from similar situations, but I'm happy to hear you found someone who doesn't lie!
I often worry that my father's lying was catching, and that I might have the tendency to lie without knowing it. I ask DH about it often, because it's something I see in my sister and I don't want to do it, myself. I do think being with someone who never lies is key for me, it keeps me honest. That, and the fact that I ask him to tell me if I'm glossing over something a la my father. My father would lie about everything, inconsequential things even, and it drove me batty. Still does.
 

StacylikesSparkles

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My SO is all about being nice and not trying to hurt peoples feelings, but I don't think he ever outright lies. In the begining of our relationship he would avoid conflict and just not talk about what bothered him, but now we can be completely honest without worry of hurting the other, as we know the truth always works best. He is plenty more tactful than I am though...I tend to edge on the brutally honest side and completely agree with not asking me if you don't want the truth. With age, I have gotten nicer in the way that I come across, so I'm not quite as harsh as I used to be :appl:
 

zoebartlett

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My husband is honest to a fault most of the time but he's fibbed before. We all have, I'm sure.
 

kenny

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Would you say it is a lie or a fib to tell a small child that Santa or the tooth fairy is real?
 

zoebartlett

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kenny|1325019554|3089519 said:
Would you say it is a lie or a fib to tell a small child that Santa or the tooth fairy is real?

I'd like to say it's a fib, a little white lie, but it's an outright lie. A big one.

In my teaching world, Santa and the tooth fairy are very much real, and I play along happily. I've only had 2 kids over the past 10 years whose parents told them the truth because a) they didn't want to lie and b) they felt that Santa took away the true meaning of Christmas. Both of these kids sort of just went with it whenever someone talked about losing a tooth or looking forward to Santa visiting on Christmas Eve.
 

Dancing Fire

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yes,she lie about her age .. :bigsmile:
 

CedarRapids

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What great responses to read. Intentionally, I didn't use the word 'lie' because it connotes something egregious.

My S.O. has a very hard time accepting blame or admitting fault when she has done something that has negative consequences (I.e., screwed up). As a result, she back pedals and resorts to stretching rather than admission. Sometimes, I just don't know why my stance should be. To be frank, her search for an escape is far more annoying and hurtful sometimes than the actual 'act'.

Am I perfect? Nope. Am I transparent? I pride myself as being that way.
 

TristanC

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If your SO has great integrity as an overall character trait, and is very good at lies where necessary, you would never know if he/she was telling a lie/fib.

Honest seeming yet instantly charming people are usually great at lies where necessary.

You only know someone is fibbing when you catch them at it or when you know better.
 

Imdanny

Ideal_Rock
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Yes, and I'm about to take him to the woodshed over it. His latest white lie was just this morning. Long story short I made him leve work to take care of a medical emergency. He expects me to know what's going on AND lie to me. I'm getting to the end of my rope and I'm about to turn into a raging ******* from hell.
 

CharmyPoo

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We are very honest with each other. The only time he "fibs" is when he is trying to hide his computer gaming because I hate it.
 

TravelingGal

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Well, if he fibs, he's very good at it, because I don't know it!
 

TristanC

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CharmyPoo|1325049828|3089838 said:
We are very honest with each other. The only time he "fibs" is when he is trying to hide his computer gaming because I hate it.

Hmm, please don't take it the wrong way, but perhaps you should find a way to accept that it is a cheap and painless hobbby for him?

I say this because I know of someone who couldn't game freely after this marriage, and of all things, this was the one that altered his perception of how things would work out in the long run. Not that the gaming itself was a huge deal, but that cuts both ways.
 

Imdanny

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Oh he loves white lies. In fact he says something proving his guilt and presto magico he never said it.

Gray not white is right and this is going to be dialed down 8 or 9 notches or I swear to you I will make him regret it.

Sick of it at this point I am a human lie detector machine. I've known the man for more than 2 years. I'm about to get medieval on his ass.

I thInk he thinks it's charming (see Taylor/'Burton "truth and illusion" lines in "Who's Afraid of VirginIa Woolf" but I can't be expected to comply with his wants/ needs when I don't have the basic/ relevant facts.
 

Rhea

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TristanC|1325053267|3089873 said:
CharmyPoo|1325049828|3089838 said:
We are very honest with each other. The only time he "fibs" is when he is trying to hide his computer gaming because I hate it.

Hmm, please don't take it the wrong way, but perhaps you should find a way to accept that it is a cheap and painless hobbby for him?

I say this because I know of someone who couldn't game freely after this marriage, and of all things, this was the one that altered his perception of how things would work out in the long run. Not that the gaming itself was a huge deal, but that cuts both ways.

As a previous WOW widow, I'd say it depends on how much. SO was gaming to the point where it was a problem. It may have been cheap and painless for him, but it wasn't for me and therefore wasn't to us. I near enough forced a cut back. He then did the rest on his own and quit cold turkey one day. I don't mind some gaming, but anytime he was sitting around which resulted in several evenings of me being alone was too much. We agreed to 2 evenings a week and after about a year of that he quit WOW. He plays some computer games still, but nothing quite as involved as WOW.
 

CharmyPoo

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Addy|1325079867|3089946 said:
TristanC|1325053267|3089873 said:
CharmyPoo|1325049828|3089838 said:
We are very honest with each other. The only time he "fibs" is when he is trying to hide his computer gaming because I hate it.

Hmm, please don't take it the wrong way, but perhaps you should find a way to accept that it is a cheap and painless hobbby for him?

I say this because I know of someone who couldn't game freely after this marriage, and of all things, this was the one that altered his perception of how things would work out in the long run. Not that the gaming itself was a huge deal, but that cuts both ways.

As a previous WOW widow, I'd say it depends on how much. SO was gaming to the point where it was a problem. It may have been cheap and painless for him, but it wasn't for me and therefore wasn't to us. I near enough forced a cut back. He then did the rest on his own and quit cold turkey one day. I don't mind some gaming, but anytime he was sitting around which resulted in several evenings of me being alone was too much. We agreed to 2 evenings a week and after about a year of that he quit WOW. He plays some computer games still, but nothing quite as involved as WOW.

TristanC - Unless you have really been in the shoes of having a true gaming addict spouse, you won't really understand what I am talking about. It is by no means a cheap and painless hobby - it is far worse than xbox or playstation. Computer games have ruined many healthy lives and relationships. People have even lost jobs and their health over it. Computer games can be a true addiction. I am not offended but unless you have been in those shoes .. you simply wouldn't understand how bad it can be. For us, gaming in itself is a huge deal - for me, it was almost as bad as a drug addiction .. and thankfully for me, he actually understands and sees it as a problem too.

Addy - I have known my husband for 15 years and he has been seriously into computer games (be it warcraft, starcraft, wow .. and now star wars) to different degrees. I can't agree with you more and it wasn't a cheap and painless hobby for me. When we were dating, we actually ended our relationship because he was playing for over 10+ hours a day at 7 days a week. He did quit after the break up and we got back together. He managed to contain the gaming for the past few years and it is actually easier with WOW given that it is not a "builder" game. We have an agreement on 2 hours of games a day.
 

canuk-gal

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23,846
HI:

Yes. He tells me almost daily that I am the most beautiful and accomplished woman he knows. I know this for a fact to be a fib.

He also says he'd be nothing without me--of course never truer words were spoken..... :))

cheers--Sharon
 

Rhea

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CharmyPoo|1325090927|3090050 said:
Addy|1325079867|3089946 said:
TristanC|1325053267|3089873 said:
CharmyPoo|1325049828|3089838 said:
We are very honest with each other. The only time he "fibs" is when he is trying to hide his computer gaming because I hate it.

Hmm, please don't take it the wrong way, but perhaps you should find a way to accept that it is a cheap and painless hobbby for him?

I say this because I know of someone who couldn't game freely after this marriage, and of all things, this was the one that altered his perception of how things would work out in the long run. Not that the gaming itself was a huge deal, but that cuts both ways.

As a previous WOW widow, I'd say it depends on how much. SO was gaming to the point where it was a problem. It may have been cheap and painless for him, but it wasn't for me and therefore wasn't to us. I near enough forced a cut back. He then did the rest on his own and quit cold turkey one day. I don't mind some gaming, but anytime he was sitting around which resulted in several evenings of me being alone was too much. We agreed to 2 evenings a week and after about a year of that he quit WOW. He plays some computer games still, but nothing quite as involved as WOW.

TristanC - Unless you have really been in the shoes of having a true gaming addict spouse, you won't really understand what I am talking about. It is by no means a cheap and painless hobby - it is far worse than xbox or playstation. Computer games have ruined many healthy lives and relationships. People have even lost jobs and their health over it. Computer games can be a true addiction. I am not offended but unless you have been in those shoes .. you simply wouldn't understand how bad it can be. For us, gaming in itself is a huge deal - for me, it was almost as bad as a drug addiction .. and thankfully for me, he actually understands and sees it as a problem too.

Addy - I have known my husband for 15 years and he has been seriously into computer games (be it warcraft, starcraft, wow .. and now star wars) to different degrees. I can't agree with you more and it wasn't a cheap and painless hobby for me. When we were dating, we actually ended our relationship because he was playing for over 10+ hours a day at 7 days a week. He did quit after the break up and we got back together. He managed to contain the gaming for the past few years and it is actually easier with WOW given that it is not a "builder" game. We have an agreement on 2 hours of games a day.

I remember several evenings of preparing dinner to him saying "I'll help in just a minute" or "I'll come to eat in just a minute" and I ended up plopping a plate of cold food on his computer desk a couple of hours later. It was a get home at 6-7pm and play until 1-2am nearly everyday type of thing. Anytime I took a bit longer to get ready and the computer was already on, I would loose him to the gaming. I watched a lot of CSI reruns, started baking, and taught myself to sew. In the end our agreement was 2 nights a week from 7pm to 12 midnight. That seemed suitable for a hobby to us at the time. We found that once the computer was on and the game started that it was too easy to go to during any down time for him so the certain nights over amount of hours per nights were a huge help.

I do sympathize with you. It's not so much the gaming itself for me, and it sounds like you're similar. For me, it's the loss of hours on end every evening, the complete lack of help or ability to pause it to take care of anything else, and the lying about when it'll end. I started to hate "I'll be there in just a minute."
 

CharmyPoo

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Addy|1325092998|3090075 said:
I remember several evenings of preparing dinner to him saying "I'll help in just a minute" or "I'll come to eat in just a minute" and I ended up plopping a plate of cold food on his computer desk a couple of hours later. It was a get home at 6-7pm and play until 1-2am nearly everyday type of thing. Anytime I took a bit longer to get ready and the computer was already on, I would loose him to the gaming. I watched a lot of CSI reruns, started baking, and taught myself to sew. In the end our agreement was 2 nights a week from 7pm to 12 midnight. That seemed suitable for a hobby to us at the time. We found that once the computer was on and the game started that it was too easy to go to during any down time for him so the certain nights over amount of hours per nights were a huge help.

I do sympathize with you. It's not so much the gaming itself for me, and it sounds like you're similar. For me, it's the loss of hours on end every evening, the complete lack of help or ability to pause it to take care of anything else, and the lying about when it'll end. I started to hate "I'll be there in just a minute."

Yup - that sounded my life before and I got so frustrated that I gave up. It isn't nearly like that now and he has a lot more control. It isn't easy when he has a lot of real life friends who plays with him. I am getting a bit worried with the new games out and coming out shortly. You are correct that it isn't the gaming that bothers me .. it is the hours spent on it that took away from life in general. Time that we can be doing something else more productive.
 
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