Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing?

[monarch64]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I think you're right to feel creeped out by him. Obviously it's important to listen to your gut and if he's making you feel uncomfortable in any way you need to take measures to keep yourself and your family safe.

Regarding the detail you mentioned about him drinking-- if he gets home from his job pretty early, I wonder if he's already had several even before he comes outside and bothers you when you're getting home. Is he asking after your DH because he's looking for a drinking buddy? I'm not trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because it's pretty clear he's a creeper, but there have been times when a male neighbor (married or living with someone) has called across the street or something to me to ask if my husband is home because sometimes they have beers together and play guitar or whatever. Not the same level as this dude, though. I think where I'm trying to go with this is that maybe he's more impaired than you know and therefore isn't even aware that he's being a total creep.

What do you think of the girlfriend? You said she mentioned that he can be mean sometimes, so you must have had some interaction with her. Does she seem as creepy?

Do you think it would be helpful if your husband wouldn't try to avoid him, and have a conversation with the guy, as much as it pains him? Sort of more proactive, than reactive?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I think you're right to feel creeped out by him. Obviously it's important to listen to your gut and if he's making you feel uncomfortable in any way you need to take measures to keep yourself and your family safe.

Regarding the detail you mentioned about him drinking-- if he gets home from his job pretty early, I wonder if he's already had several even before he comes outside and bothers you when you're getting home. Is he asking after your DH because he's looking for a drinking buddy? I'm not trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because it's pretty clear he's a creeper, but there have been times when a male neighbor (married or living with someone) has called across the street or something to me to ask if my husband is home because sometimes they have beers together and play guitar or whatever. Not the same level as this dude, though. I think where I'm trying to go with this is that maybe he's more impaired than you know and therefore isn't even aware that he's being a total creep.

What do you think of the girlfriend? You said she mentioned that he can be mean sometimes, so you must have had some interaction with her. Does she seem as creepy?

Do you think it would be helpful if your husband wouldn't try to avoid him, and have a conversation with the guy, as much as it pains him? Sort of more proactive, than reactive?

Whenever he's outside, he has a beer or drink w/him, so he might have a bit of inhabition loss due to that, though when my DH changed his work hours about a year ago, he asked me why my dh was leaving at a different time and I doubt he's drinking before work, so he watches but talks after drinking. My dh doesn't want to have anything to do with him. My dh has chatted w/him before...they both were outside with a few drinks and that was before I had added up all the times in my head the neighbor has commented on our movements. I told my dh about this thread and I have to paraphrase bc he used a bad word (lol) but basically said we should no longer have to talk to him to maintain the friendly neighbor routine. The neighbor had invited dh to drink for a game coming up (he told me he would invite him when he told me he planned to intercept my dh when he was arriving home) and my dh told me he doesn't want to be his friend. Plus, the guy won't hesitate to ask why the kids are inside a lot or other judgmental questions.

The owners moved out of the country for a job. I don't know how well they knew each other, though the neighbor didn't have the country correct.

and, yes, I've talked to the girlfriend but there's only been a couple times when he'd not been outside, as well, and one of the times was when he kept yelling for her. She is really nice. The odd thing is she dresses a bit unusual for yard work, but that is a personal preference thing, maybe. She wears cute little outfits. I always put on clothes that I don't care if get ruined.

I do know that them and the other neighbor were didn't like each other & when we first moved in, the other neighbor said a bunch of bad stuff and BOTH accused each other of watching them (both sets said the neighbors would stand and stare)! I decided to avoid both for the first year. Those people just moved

 

[momhappy]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I really think that based on what you've posted, saying that "you're in danger" is not exactly a fair statement. It really sounds to me like perhaps he is socially awkward and desperately wants friends. He doesn't sound like he's after you particularly since he has tried to have conversations with your DH, invited him to watch a game, etc. He could just be having conversations with you in an effort to get to your DH (on a friendship level). He has a GF, who you've described as pretty normal and if he was some serial killer, stalker-type, then I doubt he'd have the ability to maintain a seemingly normal relationship with a seemingly normal woman.
Again, I do advocate for your personal safety, but some of the responses here seem to get a little carried away. Since he makes both you and your husband uncomfortable, I would avoid and ignore him. It could be that because the two of you have engaged in conversations with him in the past, that he senses some hope. If you ignore/avoid, he may find someone else to bother on a regular basis. I would also suggest that you remain aware of your surroundings and keep an eye on him. You may also want to let a friend or family member know about your odd interactions with him just so that someone else is aware of the issue.

 

[orbaya]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I'd be creeped out.

Instead of confrontation, I'd probably try to be more lighted-hearted and conversational with something like "You know, I've never really had anyone interested in my not-so-exciting life so I'm kind of wondering what's so interesting to you about us?" Or something along those lines, said in a "friendly" tone if that makes sense.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I really think that based on what you've posted, saying that "you're in danger" is not exactly a fair statement. It really sounds to me like perhaps he is socially awkward and desperately wants friends. He doesn't sound like he's after you particularly since he has tried to have conversations with your DH, invited him to watch a game, etc. He could just be having conversations with you in an effort to get to your DH (on a friendship level). He has a GF, who you've described as pretty normal and if he was some serial killer, stalker-type, then I doubt he'd have the ability to maintain a seemingly normal relationship with a seemingly normal woman.
Again, I do advocate for your personal safety, but some of the responses here seem to get a little carried away. Since he makes both you and your husband uncomfortable, I would avoid and ignore him. It could be that because the two of you have engaged in conversations with him in the past, that he senses some hope. If you ignore/avoid, he may find someone else to bother on a regular basis. I would also suggest that you remain aware of your surroundings and keep an eye on him. You may also want to let a friend or family member know about your odd interactions with him just so that someone else is aware of the issue.

I forgot one thing...one day he started telling me all about another neighbor and then said they never see those neighbors anymore and wondered where the wife had been...so he might have creeped them out and they might be avoiding him, too...? He appears to be super nosy, oversteps boundaries, etc., and maybe you're right that he'll move onto someone else. New neighbors moved into our cul-de-sac last month and they have done everything to make it clear they don't want to be friends, so maybe he can stalk them.

He seemed so utterly shocked that I was working and hadn't told him and THAT is what is creepy. It was like he was a taken back that he wasn't alerted to vital information about my life. If we move, we'll tell him a different neighborhood than where we're actually moving to and hopefully never see him again.

My husband wants me to mess with him. He said I should get some cigarettes and stand in front of his house and stare in while smoking. What MC smokes? What MC is watching me? Throw him off guard with bizarre behavior and new routines/habits. lol

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Momhappy - that occurred to me too. I'd be concerned because there were so many incidents. I also think someone getting on your roof (or going into a fenced area, etc.) without permission, whatever their motivation, warrants a strong response.

MC if you prefer a less confrontational response, you might try this the next time he inquires about anything -"you know, my husband and I are very private people, and I really don't appreciate these types of questions." If he looks hurt - bad social skills, but you got the message across. If he looks angry - bad karma, watch your back.

 

[House Cat]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

MC,

I do hope this relationship with the neighbor remains in the "benign boundary crossing" category for you. For me, I would be on high alert. Any boundary crossing is too much for me these days, but to go so far as to scale my roof? I think I would have called the police, or at the very least, sent my husband over there for firm words of "leave us alone."


I really like Kenny's first response. It puts the person on the spot and lets them know that you don't approve. If he is "normal," then he will understand and discontinue the behavior.


You mentioned his alcohol use. If he is active in the disease of addiction, then boundary crossing is a part of it. You won't get through with subtle hints. You will have to set strong personal boundaries and hold to them.

I hope Wink isn't right, but I got that strong sense myself. I kept wondering why you were so interesting to this neighbor... It ooks me out that he has you on his mind so much. This is beyond the scope of normal.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I really think that based on what you've posted, saying that "you're in danger" is not exactly a fair statement. It really sounds to me like perhaps he is socially awkward and desperately wants friends. He doesn't sound like he's after you particularly since he has tried to have conversations with your DH, invited him to watch a game, etc. He could just be having conversations with you in an effort to get to your DH (on a friendship level). He has a GF, who you've described as pretty normal and if he was some serial killer, stalker-type, then I doubt he'd have the ability to maintain a seemingly normal relationship with a seemingly normal woman.
Again, I do advocate for your personal safety, but some of the responses here seem to get a little carried away. Since he makes both you and your husband uncomfortable, I would avoid and ignore him. It could be that because the two of you have engaged in conversations with him in the past, that he senses some hope. If you ignore/avoid, he may find someone else to bother on a regular basis. I would also suggest that you remain aware of your surroundings and keep an eye on him. You may also want to let a friend or family member know about your odd interactions with him just so that someone else is aware of the issue.

I forgot one thing...one day he started telling me all about another neighbor and then said they never see those neighbors anymore and wondered where the wife had been...so he might have creeped them out and they might be avoiding him, too...? He appears to be super nosy, oversteps boundaries, etc., and maybe you're right that he'll move onto someone else. New neighbors moved into our cul-de-sac last month and they have done everything to make it clear they don't want to be friends, so maybe he can stalk them.

He seemed so utterly shocked that I was working and hadn't told him and THAT is what is creepy. It was like he was a taken back that he wasn't alerted to vital information about my life. If we move, we'll tell him a different neighborhood than where we're actually moving to and hopefully never see him again.

My husband wants me to mess with him. He said I should get some cigarettes and stand in front of his house and stare in while smoking. What MC smokes? What MC is watching me? Throw him off guard with bizarre behavior and new routines/habits. lol

I get what your DH is saying, but your best bet is to probably just try to avoid, avoid, avoid.... I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It sounds incredibly uncomfortable. I've had my fair-share of "strange" neighbors (many of us have). The guy really does sound clueless. He sounds so terribly awkward. I knew a guy in high school like that. He tried so hard, but everything he said came out awkward. One day on the bus, he leaned over to tell me something and his gum fell out of his mouth and on my lap! Some people are just incredibly clueless when it comes to social interactions. Given your guy's "creepy" nature though, I'd definitely try to avoid him. He's probably harmless, but better safe than sorry.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I really think that based on what you've posted, saying that "you're in danger" is not exactly a fair statement. It really sounds to me like perhaps he is socially awkward and desperately wants friends. He doesn't sound like he's after you particularly since he has tried to have conversations with your DH, invited him to watch a game, etc. He could just be having conversations with you in an effort to get to your DH (on a friendship level). He has a GF, who you've described as pretty normal and if he was some serial killer, stalker-type, then I doubt he'd have the ability to maintain a seemingly normal relationship with a seemingly normal woman.
Again, I do advocate for your personal safety, but some of the responses here seem to get a little carried away. Since he makes both you and your husband uncomfortable, I would avoid and ignore him. It could be that because the two of you have engaged in conversations with him in the past, that he senses some hope. If you ignore/avoid, he may find someone else to bother on a regular basis. I would also suggest that you remain aware of your surroundings and keep an eye on him. You may also want to let a friend or family member know about your odd interactions with him just so that someone else is aware of the issue.

I forgot one thing...one day he started telling me all about another neighbor and then said they never see those neighbors anymore and wondered where the wife had been...so he might have creeped them out and they might be avoiding him, too...? He appears to be super nosy, oversteps boundaries, etc., and maybe you're right that he'll move onto someone else. New neighbors moved into our cul-de-sac last month and they have done everything to make it clear they don't want to be friends, so maybe he can stalk them.

He seemed so utterly shocked that I was working and hadn't told him and THAT is what is creepy. It was like he was a taken back that he wasn't alerted to vital information about my life. If we move, we'll tell him a different neighborhood than where we're actually moving to and hopefully never see him again.

My husband wants me to mess with him. He said I should get some cigarettes and stand in front of his house and stare in while smoking. What MC smokes? What MC is watching me? Throw him off guard with bizarre behavior and new routines/habits. lol

I get what your DH is saying, but your best bet is to probably just try to avoid, avoid, avoid.... I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It sounds incredibly uncomfortable. I've had my fair-share of "strange" neighbors (many of us have). The guy really does sound clueless. He sounds so terribly awkward. I knew a guy in high school like that. He tried so hard, but everything he said came out awkward. One day on the bus, he leaned over to tell me something and his gum fell out of his mouth and on my lap! Some people are just incredibly clueless when it comes to social interactions. Given your guy's "creepy" nature though, I'd definitely try to avoid him. He's probably harmless, but better safe than sorry.

Ugh, gross! lol

Yeah, my dh was just joking. I wouldn't do that, but just to put in perspective, for a while now I have avoided doing certain activities because he ALWAYS watches or comments...rather than taking out my garbage, I sometimes stick it in the garage b/c I don't want to walk past him. One week, I ended up having to haul out some bags the night before garbage collection and he said, "how many people do you have living there?"

One time I had trimmed grass around my trees w/scissors and he came up and commented on me using scissors to do that and how he is now doing that too!

Yeah, he literally comments on EVERYTHING I do...now that I am typing this stuff up, I keep remembering more things that he's made sure I know he's noticed. Do stalkers make it so clear they're watching?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I really like Kenny's first response. It puts the person on the spot and lets them know that you don't approve. If he is "normal," then he will understand and discontinue the behavior.


You mentioned his alcohol use. If he is active in the disease of addiction, then boundary crossing is a part of it. You won't get through with subtle hints. You will have to set strong personal boundaries and hold to them.

I hope Wink isn't right, but I got that strong sense myself. I kept wondering why you were so interesting to this neighbor... It ooks me out that he has you on his mind so much. This is beyond the scope of normal.

Part of the problem is I've tried to be nice b/c I didn't want to get into a war w/my neighbors. We had actually tried to avoid being friends with anyone but it was just the second year here, I thought I might be a bit silly in not talking to people and that is how these conversations started where he would say he saw me do this or that. The flat out massive disapproval is a guy asking my husband where I am. I DO NOT approve of that and that is when I entirely quit looking at him. The roof is bad, but asking my location just because I happen to be gone a few days while my dh isn't, is NOT acceptable. It is WEIRD!

 

[movie zombie]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

........We have an alarm. So do they. He also informed me he owns a gun and has it because if someone breaks into the house, he's not going to let them tie up and torture his girlfriend and her daughter. I was thinking WTF...***WHO*** even imagines stuff like that???

He knows I don't have a weapon. We have a beebee gun but no ammunition b/c I don't want my kids using it and their air soft guns can't do much more than possibly break a window. We've never tried, but someone said that they break windows (eta - meaning the pellets can break windows - not that the person breaks windows...nobody has intentionally done that...it happened to someone on accident.)

well, perhaps you should given how weird this guy sounds and is acting. he creeps you out. he creeps your hubby out. why would you not imagine stuff like that?

get a baseball bat if nothing else. the guy may merely be being protective in a fatherly way but it creeps me out reading this thread and your posts so i do hope you have some sort of self-defense mechanism in place other than an alarm.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

........We have an alarm. So do they. He also informed me he owns a gun and has it because if someone breaks into the house, he's not going to let them tie up and torture his girlfriend and her daughter. I was thinking WTF...***WHO*** even imagines stuff like that???

He knows I don't have a weapon. We have a beebee gun but no ammunition b/c I don't want my kids using it and their air soft guns can't do much more than possibly break a window. We've never tried, but someone said that they break windows (eta - meaning the pellets can break windows - not that the person breaks windows...nobody has intentionally done that...it happened to someone on accident.)

well, perhaps you should given how weird this guy sounds and is acting. he creeps you out. he creeps your hubby out. why would you not imagine stuff like that?

get a baseball bat if nothing else. the guy may merely be being protective in a fatherly way but it creeps me out reading this thread and your posts so i do hope you have some sort of self-defense mechanism in place other than an alarm.

Okay. What about a taser? I have pepper spray, already... I don't think I can overpower a guy w/a bat. The other option is a guard dog...both DH and I want a dog, though planned to wait for a couple reasons that I've now tossed aside...it is now just a matter of if we move, can we find another place that will take both a dog/cat. Our lease has limitations, but they agreed to our cat after a few days...

 

[movie zombie]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

pepper spray is good. one on you at all times? one in the car and each room of the house? not going to do you any good if its not within reach at any given moment.

i'm hoping this guy is just being fatherly but if you're creeped out and your hubs is creeped out, well, better to be prepared and not use it than to be unprepared.

tazer? check your local LE and regulations for legal issues.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

........We have an alarm. So do they. He also informed me he owns a gun and has it because if someone breaks into the house, he's not going to let them tie up and torture his girlfriend and her daughter. I was thinking WTF...***WHO*** even imagines stuff like that???

He knows I don't have a weapon. We have a beebee gun but no ammunition b/c I don't want my kids using it and their air soft guns can't do much more than possibly break a window. We've never tried, but someone said that they break windows (eta - meaning the pellets can break windows - not that the person breaks windows...nobody has intentionally done that...it happened to someone on accident.)

well, perhaps you should given how weird this guy sounds and is acting. he creeps you out. he creeps your hubby out. why would you not imagine stuff like that?

get a baseball bat if nothing else. the guy may merely be being protective in a fatherly way but it creeps me out reading this thread and your posts so i do hope you have some sort of self-defense mechanism in place other than an alarm.

I agree - imagining those types of scenarios is not that far-fetched. Home invasions happen. We live in a very "safe" upper class neighborhood and we are dealing with yet another string of home invasions. This time around, they are even cutting phone/power lines to the homes, which disables the alarm systems. Sure, it may not be common, but things like that happen and people should protect themselves. My home is adequately protected and both my husband and I have been trained how to use said protection. A baseball bat isn't going to cut it (and neither is pepper spray in the event that an armed person enters your home). A large dog might help deter intruders, but it's not something that I would rely on completely.

 

[Cozystitches]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I haven't read all the replies, however he reminds me of a neighbor we had once. This guy would ask weird nosy questions, where we went, etc. I realized that he wasn't being creepy, he was just odd. He may be on the Autism spectrum where social situations are strange for him. My neighbor was (I believe) because listening to him talk, and the weird questions he asked. Now, YMMV so always do the best for your family, if the guy creeps you out, you may just need to ask him why he needs to know and/or that it is not of his concern as someone else posted. Some times people don't realize they're being rude, we don't send children to finishing schools and we don't put emphasis on manners and social conduct.

 

[blackprophet]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

You mentioned his alcohol use. If he is active in the disease of addiction, then boundary crossing is a part of it. You won't get through with subtle hints. You will have to set strong personal boundaries and hold to them.

+1 to this.

Sounds like an addict. He can be "mean". You see him drinking all the time. I wouldn't assume that just cause its morning or before work, he's not drinking.

I would also say it sounds like he is just looking for friends. Believe it or not I WORKED with someone like this, they sat next to me in a open concept office. Leaving that job a year ago was so liberating.

 

[smitcompton]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Hi,

I really think this guy is trying to be friendly, just crosses the boundry on that front. I hope you are not really concerned he said that the environment is hurt by your plastic water bottles? My friends are always telling me not to use plastic bags, but I do anyway.

Truly, if it were me, I'd so appreciate that they cleaned out my gutters, even though you had said you would accept their help at another time. I's sure they knocked on your door and just decided to not wait for guys. Nothing sinister there.

Sissors in the garden? That neighbors talking.

His questions are very nosy, and I would point it out to him in a straight forward way, being nice but serious. You "Why do you ask me so many questions about what WE do? I just don't know what to make of it. It seems you're being a bit too nosy". Don't insult the man, you will have an unhappy neighbor. He's just a nosy neighbor.

I had a case when a neighbor in a building that I lived in wouldn't stop knocking on my door.-to talk. He was older, ready for retirement, and the neighbors just told me he does it to everyone. But I couldn't stand it and just refused to answer my door. I didn't have the nerve to just say, stop coming. He finally got the message and stopped.

Good Luck--you can do it. Maybe you can teach the guy something. No doubt he does it to others. Annette

 

[SandyCheeks]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Is it possible for you to drive directly into your garage, close the garage door then get out of the car and unload groceries etc and go into your house from there? Then you could avoid him all together. His behavior and questions are definitely strange.

 

[iluvshinythings]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Your neighbor sounds creepy. I don't think you are imagining it. Listen to your gut. Chances are nothing will happen but it's always good to mentally prepare yourself and have a plan in place just in case he does something invasive.

I think he's either lacking in social skills or getting a charge out of knowing things about you and your family. Some people are unable to distinguish between what is their business and what isn't.

I used to work with a lady like that. I tried to be polite and then tried a little humor but she just kept asking more and more personal questions and making rude and inappropriate observations. I started wearing ear buds all the time. When she tried to initiate a conversation, I'd point to my ears and walk away. I wasn't listening to anything but it allowed me to ignore her. (I like Kenny's solution better though)

 

[Sky56]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I had a somewhat similar situation and ended up selling the house and moving to a rural setting where we barely talk to our neighbors.

I won't go into the long version of it, but I'll tell you a few examples of what they did. You have, as I did, the problem of "give an inch, they take a mile." It was when we lived in a suburban cul-de-sac. "May I come in your yard and pick some grape leaves; I can use them for my recipe?" Friendly me, "Sure!" Guess what, from then on in I'd look out my window and there she was in my yard many times.

She ended up harassing us because she didn't like that I had dandelions next to her "golf-course" yard. She was friendly in the beginning, and always talked to me when I went to the mailbox, and eventually through bits and pieces got my "life story."

She used it later against me (I told her about my nervous breakdown I had 20 years prior lol!) This experience in the 1990's has left me very tight-lipped with neighbors and people I don't know well instead of the open, friendly way I used to be.

My current next door neighbor in my rural "get away from the world" place is the best friend of a great friend I play sports with often...and I have only talked to this neighbor once since 1996 even though they are nice. That is how much that experience changed me, I don't want contact with neighbors much, and the other neighbors here seem to feel that same. I think it's kind of sad, but that's how it is. I like privacy. I feel for you, as your story surely resonates with me and I wish you the best outcome, which could involve moving.

 

[babs23r]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

I agree with Wink. This sounds like a lifetime movie that doesn't end well. I would get the hell out of dodge. This guy sounds like a sociopath.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Hi,

I really think this guy is trying to be friendly, just crosses the boundry on that front. I hope you are not really concerned he said that the environment is hurt by your plastic water bottles? My friends are always telling me not to use plastic bags, but I do anyway.

Truly, if it were me, I'd so appreciate that they cleaned out my gutters, even though you had said you would accept their help at another time. I's sure they knocked on your door and just decided to not wait for guys. Nothing sinister there.

Sissors in the garden? That neighbors talking.

The comment is a concern to me because he knew about them from watching me bring in the flats of water sold at the grocery store. I wasn't walking around outside with a single bottle at any time...they're only visible when I bring in groceries or if someone opened my recycling bin lid. Or...he looks inside my car! If I had a bottle in my hand and he commented, that would be different than having him bring it up based on his independent observation.

At any rate, since I posted, I've avoided all eye contact with him and my dh is ignoring him, too. On Saturday night, my kids were upstairs playing video games in the office and the window was open (but the kids/computers aren't visible from the window) and I thought of the neighbor maybe hearing them, and walked over to close the window and the blinds and he was standing outside at 8:45 pm in his yard. Just standing there, staring toward my house and then he saw me look out the window, see him staring, and I slammed the window and blinds shut!

It's become a bit worse b/c the new people who moved into the house next to us don't interact with any of us (which I'm relieved about). They leave all their blinds open, lights off, and drive right into their garage, so now he has those neighbors avoiding him, plus me refusing to look at him so maybe he's confused about why nobody talks to him.

 

[smitcompton]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Hi Mc,

It reminded me of a Jim Carrey movie with Tia someone, where the neighbor across the street always comes over when he sees Carrey's car coming home. He blocks his driveway to talk to him. He wants to make plans with him and of course they can't stand this neighbor. Of course in a movie thats funny--not in real life.

I had a neighbor who knew everything that was going on on our block. The reason--she sat outside all the time watching her kids or talking to others. She told us that the same car had been parked down the street for a couple of a weeks. She called the police dept
and they told her they couldn't tell her why the car was there . but it was an unmarked policecar that was guarding someone 24 hrs a day. If you are outside just sitting you see a lot.

I notice new cars in driveways, some visiters, an alcoholic guy and I don't sit out. I don't want you to be unnecessarily afraid. He doesn't have enough to do. No-one wants to be stuck with neighbors we don't want to be stuck with.

Carry-on and if something makes you more afraid, report back. I may not be hard enough on him.


Annette

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

Hi Mc,

It reminded me of a Jim Carrey movie with Tia someone, where the neighbor across the street always comes over when he sees Carrey's car coming home. He blocks his driveway to talk to him. He wants to make plans with him and of course they can't stand this neighbor. Of course in a movie thats funny--not in real life.

I had a neighbor who knew everything that was going on on our block. The reason--she sat outside all the time watching her kids or talking to others. She told us that the same car had been parked down the street for a couple of a weeks. She called the police dept
and they told her they couldn't tell her why the car was there . but it was an unmarked policecar that was guarding someone 24 hrs a day. If you are outside just sitting you see a lot.

I notice new cars in driveways, some visiters, an alcoholic guy and I don't sit out. I don't want you to be unnecessarily afraid. He doesn't have enough to do. No-one wants to be stuck with neighbors we don't want to be stuck with.

Carry-on and if something makes you more afraid, report back. I may not be hard enough on him.


Annette

Yeah, I understand what you're saying...I notice things, but mostly only when driving...like one parent lets her kids run in the street and I have to drive 10 mph by her house b/c her children dart in front of cars. I've never actually gone up to someone before and commented on their lifestyle OR asked them why they live like they do or tried to force conversation on someone who is trying to avoid eye contact (and my husband has RUN from the guy so sheesh, why would a person want to bug another person who is avoiding them?). Maybe the guy really does lack social skills.

My husband and I are all over the place. I say we should move in one year and find a house that backs to a greenbelt so we're not crammed in and he wants to wait two years and find something on 5 acres. We'll see where were at in one year.

In the meantime, I'll just try and avoid our neighbor. I'm not sure if he's just the busy body of the neighborhood or a creep - but, won't talk to him again. If he decides to intercept me to ask me where I've been, I'll walk around him b/c him doing that would mean he'd have to step into my yard and invade my space.

 

[Sky56]

Re: Does this neighbor situation sound like boundry crossing

From my experience and reading yours, I see a few things in common: The neighbor is in a bad marriage, is bored with their life and is a busybody. My neighbor was also on a power trip. When I say "bad marriage," it was because at times I could hear loud arguing between the spouses. What is boils down to is: a miserable, bored person who has no life so they get their needs met by inserting themselves unwanted in others' lives. It is creepy...