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iluvcarats

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when you go to someone''s house? Do you do it automatically, or do you wait to see if they ask? Do you make people take off their shoes in your house?

Personally, I never ask anyone to take off their shoes. I don''t like walking around in my socks.
 

Octavia

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When I was growing up, there was a strict "no shoes in the house" rule, and I still feel very uncomfortable wearing shoes indoors. I hate tracking in all the nasties, especially since I live in a filthy city. So I usually do take off my shoes in other people's houses, unless I see that the hosts have street shoes on. Sometimes I don't in the summer, if I only have flip-flops or sandals on, though -- I'm never sure whether people would consider bare feet or shoes worse in that situation! When people come over to our apartment, I don't ask them to remove their shoes, but I'm always happy when they do. I don't mind people walking around barefoot, but I cringe inside when I see their dirty shoes all over our rugs.

Where my DH's family lives, it's very common for the hosts to provide slippers for all guests to wear indoors, and very rude to keep street shoes on in the house. I actually prefer just to wear socks rather than slippers, but usually put the slippers on to be polite.
 

Hest88

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My family''s Chinese so, yes, it''s expected that one takes off one''s shoes in the house unless the host explicitly tells you you don''t have to.
 

swingirl

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My shoes are part of my outfit and cover my body for warms and protection. So I don't take them off however if it is obvious that the host wants them off then I will comply. When I am an invited guest I don't wear my mud boots. I usually wear shoes that have been kept in a box in my closet so that in walking from house-to-car-to-house I have not picked up a lot of crud from the outside world.

But I understand people with crawling babies or cultural preferences view shoes as outside-only and I always take my shoes off in those circumstances.
 

tigian

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We take off our shoes in our own house. When we are at other people''s homes, it depends what the host/hostess is wearing. If they have their shoes on, we keep ours on. If there are a pile of shoes at the door, our shoes come off.
 

yssie

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In our apt - shoes off at the door, no matter who you are
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. Indian tradition.


I usually ask the host, or do what everyone else is doing if there are enough people doing one thing.
 

AprilBaby

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Never thought about it...at home we take them off but at other peoples houses it never occurred to me to take them off.
 

DiamanteBlu

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I keep my shoes on unless it is obvious that I need to take them off. Given a choice, I prefer to be taller! LOL!
 

canuk-gal

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Date: 12/5/2009 4:09:00 PM
Author:iluvcarats
when you go to someone''s house? Do you do it automatically, or do you wait to see if they ask? Do you make people take off their shoes in your house?

Personally, I never ask anyone to take off their shoes. I don''t like walking around in my socks.
HI:

Whew--so then I''d be welcome in your house!
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I always wear shoes or slippers in my own house, but respect the wishes of others when I am visiting. If I bring dress shoes elswwhere (in winter months) I always ask permission if I am may wear them indoors.

cheers--Sharon
 

MichelleCarmen

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I do whatever the host does. If they have their shoes off, I take mine off. It bothers me that I NEVER wear shoes in the house, yet company comes over and clomps around. Holidays are the worst because after our carpet is covered in grunge and bits of leaves.

My kids ALWAYS take their shoes off as do their friends. It''s pretty much a rule among all of us families that the kids do not wear shoes inside.
 

chrono

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Absolutely; I''m not going to drag in dirt, mud and goodness knows what else into my host''s clean home.
 

movie zombie

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Date: 12/5/2009 5:40:59 PM
Author: Chrono
Absolutely; I''m not going to drag in dirt, mud and goodness knows what else into my host''s clean home.
and i don''t want anyone dragging the crud into my house either. take your shoes off at my home....i automatically take them off at others'' homes. i provide slippers. those that know me bring their own sometimes.

mz
 

monarch64

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I always ask the host/hostess if I should remove my shoes when I''ve been invited to their home for the first time.
 

Kaleigh

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I''d be happy to if that''s what is expected... I wouldn''t have a problem with it.
 

tsavvy

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We do not wear shoes in the house. If we have a small gathering of people, they are asked to take off their shoes. If people are uncomfortable removing their shoes, though, then they are welcome to keep them on. All of our son''s friends also have to take off their shoes when they visit.

When we visit other people''s homes, we take our shoes off unless everyone is wearing shoes and they do not have an appropriate place for us to leave our shoes
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At my mother''s home, shoes are always removed, no exceptions, and slippers/socks are available for those who would like them. It is not a cultural thing - she is just ultra-clean!
 

CJ2008

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I like the idea of not wearing shoes in the house because of cleanliness...but somehow it's a habit I can't seem to develop.

Sometimes I'll buy flip-flops that I mean to be "inside-only" and I always forget at some point and wear them outside.

I would totally respect someone asking me to take off my shoes at their house - but honestly, I don't like it. I feel like people seeing my feet, or in my socks, is kind of an intimate thing, it makes me uncomfortable. And while the slippers are nice, I don't like the idea that other people have worn them before me. If you think about it, that can be kind of gross for the person that has to wear them (even if they look clean and well kept, someone else's feet were in them).
 

Haven

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Date: 12/5/2009 7:27:33 PM
Author: CJ2008
I like the idea of not wearing shoes in the house because of cleanliness...but somehow it''s a habit I can''t seem to develop.

Sometimes I''ll buy flip-flops that I mean to be ''inside-only'' and I always forget at some point and wear them outside.

I would totally respect someone asking me to take off my shoes at their house - but honestly, I don''t like it. I feel like people seeing my feet, or in my socks, is kind of an intimate thing, it makes me uncomfortable. And while the slippers are nice, I don''t like the idea that other people have worn them before me. If you think about it, that can be kind of gross for the person that has to wear them (even if they look clean and well kept, someone else''s feet were in them).
I agree with all of this.

I would never ask anyone to take her shoes off in my house, and while I am happy to do so in others'' homes, I prefer to keep my shoes on.

In snowy or rainy weather, everyone knows to remove shoes at the door, but when it is nice outside and I am often wearing only thin hosiery I am very uncomfortable being barefoot in someone else''s home. I''ve started carrying a nice pair of socks with me to certain homes, just in case they demand that I remove my shoes.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 12/5/2009 7:34:44 PM
Author: Haven
I''ve started carrying a nice pair of socks with me to certain homes, just in case they demand that I remove my shoes.
Socks are one of my passions. . .kind of obsessed with collecting cute pairs, so luckily in most situations, I don''t feel weird taking off my shoes. Barefeet is different than socks. If someone has flip flops on, I would WANT them to keep those on.
 

Cehrabehra

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I take off my kids when I go to someone else''s house, though there was once I put them back on lol I have never requested that people take off their shoes in the house, but I do it and others tend to. In China we''ll for sure enforce this tho, and when we come back it will likely be more ingrained for our personal space and I won''t be able to stand it lol I don''t think I''ll ever reach a paranoia stage though, handing out booties for people or something. Who knows, maybe I will lol
 

Cehrabehra

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Date: 12/5/2009 7:38:43 PM
Author: MC
Date: 12/5/2009 7:34:44 PM

Author: Haven

I''ve started carrying a nice pair of socks with me to certain homes, just in case they demand that I remove my shoes.
Socks are one of my passions. . .kind of obsessed with collecting cute pairs, so luckily in most situations, I don''t feel weird taking off my shoes. Barefeet is different than socks. If someone has flip flops on, I would WANT them to keep those on.

Okay I don''t see myself giving away free slippers or offering used ones (imo ick!) but I could see having a basket of assorted socks - that would be an excellent idea for all of those funky socks that you want to buy just because and have absolutely no use for and will likely never wear lol
 

Elmorton

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Shoes, no shoes - doesn't matter to me. I typically kick mine off when I get in the door at my house (or my parents our IL's house - I'll kick off the shoes if it's somewhere I feel comfortable), but that's more because I'd rather be wearing socks or slippers. What a guest does is really up to them. The only exception is when it's really snowy - if a guest walks in and says "shoes off?" when their shoes are caked with snow, I'll say "sure, that's fine" - we don't have any carpet in our house, so salt and water does kinda track around.

I'm really not offended when people ask me to take shoes off at their house - but I do judge a little (like "Um, maybe white carpet wasn't the smartest choice then, huh?").
 

icekid

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Date: 12/5/2009 8:38:21 PM
Author: Elmorton

I''m really not offended when people ask me to take shoes off at their house - but I do judge a little (like ''Um, maybe white carpet wasn''t the smartest choice then, huh?'').

really? Maybe some folks just don''t like dirt in the house
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I don''t wear my work shoes out generally, but they do get blood-splashed pretty frequently! You never know what is on someone''s shoes.

We don''t wear shoes in the house at all. So I have no problem taking off my shoes in someone''s house if that is their preference. I am too OCD to track all of that dirt and nastiness around the house.
 

D&T

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I take off my shoes in our house, and at all of my family's house. When I am visiting acquantainces, I usually ask if I need to take my shoes off or if I peek around and if they have a basket full of shoes or they don't wear shoes, I take my shoes off automatically. When I am at friends house, and I know what is expected I do as they would do. There was one time, I was caught off guard (out of respect I took off my shoes) I had dressy boots and dress on, but I wore white socks under my black boots as it was a little cold and need extra cushion and I didn't want to wear nylons.... well it was a bit awkward with my attire at the time... white gym socks with my dressy gown
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I used to ask people to take off their shoes all the time, when I lived with my parents back in the days, but I don't ask anyone when they come to visit us at all (DH is rubbing off on me)
 

packrat

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We used to take our shoes off, but it got a little annoying if we needed to run back in to grab something quick, unlacing and lacing back up again if we had boots on or something. And, it''s kind of hard to have our hands full of things and try to keep the kids contained w/in a small area right by the door when they''ve got snowy shoes on. Especially when it''s 40 below out-I don''t want to make several trips to take the kids in and then go back out for stuff. If they get snow on the carpet, or track it thru into the kitchen, whatever, I''ve got a husband, 2 kids, 2 cats and a dog. My house isn''t spotless and it never will be. We don''t have a porch or utility room-you come right into the living room. We had a housewarming party a couple months after we got married, right in the middle of winter, and made everyone take their shoes off..so we ended up w/about 50 pairs of shoes lined up along the walls and it was a mess, laying towels down and trying to walk around them.

If I go to someone else''s house and they want shoes off, I do it, no problem, we just don''t enforce it here.
 

Cind11

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We always take out shoes off in our home. I make all my girls'' friends do the same. I would like to make my guests take their shoes off too but sometimes I don''t have the nerve. It seems where I live most people keep their shoes on in their homes. If I go to someone else''s home I definitely take them off if the host is shoeless. I feel a bit hypocritical to leave my shoes on when I dislike them in my own home. But frequently people will tell me to leave my shoes on.
 

NY Princess

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I use to have a shoes off policy in my house but it got to be too much work so now people can do whatever they feel most comfortable doing. I tell my guests "this is your house, please make yourself comfortable" and that usually gets a laugh but at least they know I''m not going to stress out about shoes. I once had a guest say "Alright, if you insist!" and he walked into the family room picked up the remote and laid down on our couch. My husband and I had a good laugh.
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However, if I go to someelse''s house and that''s their rule~ then I respect it. I always try to make sure I have nice socks on for this very purpose. LOL
 

sparklyheart

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I never wear my shoes inside unless I''m walking out the door. When I come home they come off right away. At other people''s houses, I prefer to take my shoes off but if it''s obvious that everyone is wearing their shoes then I will leave mine on. I think mine is a mixture of cleanliness and comfort.. I hate cleaning my floors and I am just more comfortable without shoes on!!
 

Phoenix

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Date: 12/5/2009 7:39:26 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I take off my kids when I go to someone else's house, though there was once I put them back on lol I have never requested that people take off their shoes in the house, but I do it and others tend to. In China we'll for sure enforce this tho, and when we come back it will likely be more ingrained for our personal space and I won't be able to stand it lol I don't think I'll ever reach a paranoia stage though, handing out booties for people or something. Who knows, maybe I will lol
Hmmmm...I'd love to hear what Chinese PS'ers say about this. We still haven't really figured out what's the right thing to do. In other Asian countries (e.g. Vietnam, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia etc) you're totally expected to take your shoes or sandals off before you enter your own house as well as others' and you then go barefoot, owing to the warmer climate. In China, we've been to two people's houses. In one, we were expected to wear socks (or at least my DH was expected to) and we went barefoot and DH got criticized by the host for showing his bare feet which I must say are always very well pedicured and clean (I posted a thread about this somewhere here in HO about this host - she's a really weird and totally freaked out person, so that experience probably doesn't count, LOL). In another person's house, everyone of their guests (both Western and local Chinese) had their street shoes on and my DH took his shoes off and left his socks on. The host then proceeded to offer used slippers to DH (yick!!), which he then wore, but *I* totally would have refused if anyone were to offer me their dirty used slippers!
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Maybe we could bring our own slippers next time we visit friends!
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Brown.Eyed.Girl

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In my parents'' home, and in my apartment, we have a no-shes rule. I''m Asian, as are my parents, and though my BF isn''t, he''s lived extensively in Asia and understands. My friends are all very good about this too.

If I go to someone else''s house, I will see whether or not they have shoes on, and follow suit. In most of my mom''s friends'' homes (who are also Asian) I take my shoes off as a matter of course.
 
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