Do You Like Kids?

[GliderPoss]

[quote="distracts] And - here's the funny part - when I'm on hormonal birth control, I go back to not liking them, only to like them again once I'm off it. It's even MORE noticeable with babies - when not on birth control, I'm wild into babies, but when I'm on it, I don't want them anywhere near me and find them really annoying.

OMG me toooooooo! It's so weird isn't it!?

I had a really happy loving childhood whereas hubby definitely did not... It's taken us 10 years together to get to the stage where we both feel 100% happy and committed to the idea of having one child. I was never going to push him into it EVER so it had to be this way.

We both didn't really like kids very much in general, I liked toddlers & babies whereas he was always better with older kids who can walk/talk etc - probably no suprise there. Then my older sisters had kids and now we have 6 nieces and nephews - this has led to a lot more actual quality time spent with children and helped us to get used to them, understand them better etc.

I don't automatically like them just because they are kids but rather give them a chance to make a positive impression on me first before making any judgements... some are darlings...others are not...

 

[missy]

It's not so much whether I like kids or not it is dependent on the specific kid/individual just like with adults. In general however I *do* like kids and I am the one who starts conversations with kids and smiles at babies. I find them all pretty sweet and adorable until proven otherwise if that makes sense.

Once I get to know the particular child though I may or may not like them. I do not care for bratty kids or spoiled kids or nasty kids. Just like adults. Same thing. Of course if a small child is nasty and/or bratty or I might think it is the fault of the parent and not the kid so much but I also realize that the kid will probably grow up to be an unpleasant adult.

Back to sweet kids. Love them.

 

[rubybeth]

In small doses, yes. And especially if they are well-behaved, I'm fine with them for longer periods of time. I realize this isn't always the kid's fault, but naughty or overly rambunctious kids (for the time/place... I wouldn't go to a playground and expect kids to be calm and sedated), stress me out. I realize that's totally me, and kids are allowed to be kids everywhere they go, but I'm kind of on the line between introvert/extrovert and high energy kids take it out of me quickly.

P.S. I don't have kids of my own.

 

[bbziggy]

I like the saying.... Kids when they are very small you could just eat them up. And when they are older you wish you had!

 

[House Cat]

I like the saying.... Kids when they are very small you could just eat them up. And when they are older you wish you had!

I really like teenagers and young adults as long as they aren't the super entitled type. Then again, that sort of theme runs through how I feel about adults too!

 

[Rhea]

I love children! I wave to them and make faces at them and speak to them if they continue to look at me. There was a little boy at the mall recently who was very attracted to me and wanted to be near me. Maybe I look amusing? My husband will wave to them too if they continue to stare but he's not as loving as me toward children.

The second they do something annoying though I turn. I assume the best of all children, especially young ones, but can't stand to be around the ones who annoy me. A friend has a farm and recently had a non-Christening for their infant. They had a petting zoo area for all the children and the sweet little lambs were terrified of this one little girl who rattled their cage. I wasn't the only one who wanted to rattle the little girl and her parents for letting the kid terrify the lambs. I have no patience for that type of uncorrected behaviour.

I have no children and don't plan to have any. I had a fairly happy childhood through age 10 when a cross-country move, job losses for parents, and the impact on their relationship caused extreme difficult in making new friends, being bullied at school, financial hardships, and strain in my parent's relationship. My parents argue non-stop and I'd like them to divorce. I generally remember my childhood in a fairly positive way though with bike rides, family outings, beach holidays, and lots of kite flying and camping.

My younger and only sister would say that she had a difficult childhood and didn't feel loved (I never felt unloved, I felt poor and as though my parents didn't love each other). She wants hordes of children. Think Angelina & Brad. I think she wants to make up for her own childhood. I don't know why I don't want children - it's easier to guess and play armchair psychologist about someone else Sister thinks it's because of my fear of getting stuck like our parents did if there are children involved. That sounds reasonable to me.

ETA: I think part of the reason I don't want children is because my sister and I are so different. I don't see that she wasn't loved. I see that she was the younger and more challenging child. My sister is only just now, in her 30s, realising that not fair wasn't all always not fair toward her. My parents didn't have the money for both of us to do competitive sports so I was held back from them even though I was better at the time so that we were treated equally. A few years later there was money and sister went ahead and did them while I'd aged out of that sport - my chance gone due to parents trying to treat their children equally.

As the older and somewhat more serious and observant child I saw parents who were struggling with both how to raise us, and later, finances. My mother and I have a good relationship because I give a pass on a lot. My parents are good parents who try very hard. My sister, until very recently, and even still not fully, sees parents who weren't fair. Nope, darling sister, they weren't. I never got into debt so our parents paid $5,000 toward my wedding. They won't pay for my sister's wedding, but they did bail her out of debt to the tune of $25,000. Not fair at all, darling sister, just not not fair in the opposite way you think - technically she got 5x what I did. We required different things and they provided those. I don't want children who can't give me a pass as a parent who tries very hard so I'm not having any. I actually do get along wonderfully with my sister, btw

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I was never a "kid" person until I had kids. Now I appreciate their honesty and naturally sweet demeanor. I love the innocence they possess before the world chews them up and spits them out.

 

[Tanzigrrl]

I do not like kids. It's not PC to say it, but it's true. As an only child, I was socialized with adults, and to this day I don't "get" kids. My parents were kind of strict when I was growing up and I was expected to behave and display excellent manners. Most of my friends have kids and I kind of just grin and bear it. I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not a kid person and I'm never, ever going to be. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around kids. It's just the way I am.

 

[CRYSTAL24K]

I always wanted to be a wife and a mother as long as I can remember. I love kids- my own and others. Babies and children have always taken to me. I have only come across a couple of kids who I dislike. My boys say the funniest things and are so sweet. In general, I think that children are hilarious and I love talking to them.

 

[momhappy]

Yes, I mostly find children very beautiful and sweet in spirit. I know of a few "mothers" who have biological children but absolutely no connection (or desire to attempt a connection) with the people they willingly brought into this world. I get that not everyone is naturally maternal, but at least try...

Yes, unfortunately, I know some of these moms too. No connection. Whatsoever. It's sad.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I have been very fortunate to have had some lovely children come my way in life, at the right time. Some people have their animals as therapy tools, I have kids. Difficult times usually find us all at one time or another, but unusual kids came my way to keep me busy and pull me up from my despair. and indulged some of my fantasies.

I had always fantasized about adopting a Chinese baby. I think they are beautiful. After a serious illness, I baby sat a 2yr old Chinese boy while his immigrant parents worked as a waiter and waitress on Fri and Sat. nite. I couldn't believe how smart this boy was. Over the yrs he and i developed a wonderful relationship, where I could take him with me anywhere. He taught himself to read by age 4, and asked me to buy him these records and words so he could keep learning.. I loved this kid.

There have been others like this. They have floored me. I use to have to check myself to see if I was imagining the abilities of these kids, three in all, and as they grew up, I realized i had not imagined it at all. These were gifted children.

So, I don't care much for infants or teenagers. Ages 2-10 are great. Ages 4-6 my favorite.

I had a happy childhood and while my mother was difficult, I remember so well how other adults treated me. My friends and I still marvel at the wonderful adults we had in our lives. I am happy that i have had a chance to pass this on.

Annette

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I don't particularly like kids, and I have two of my own. I like mine, most of the time I wouldn't trade my kids for the world, but if I hadn't had any, I would be very happy (and rich!) as well.

I had a very happy childhood and a good relationship with my parents.

 

[ame]

Depends on the day. lol. I usually think they're pretty hilarious in general. They say what they're thinking and the way their minds work is fascinating. I love my littles, but man they can be real sh!theads sometimes, as with most kids. I cannot handle a screaming, unhappy turd, related to me or not, but definitely not someone else's turd. If someone's kid is freaking the F out in public, I am empathetic for about 2-3 minutes. Get the kid and GTFO and let the kid have their fit outside of public view. But in general, when they're not acting like a butthead, I love them.

 

[partgypsy]

I'm not generally a kid or baby person, never was, though of course feel differently about my kids as I'm sure all Moms do.
I went to my daughter's 6th grade end of year celebration and I genuinely enjoyed the talent show, where each kid did something for it. Some told jokes, others magic tricks, anything you can imagine, and I really enjoyed it. So, like kids around this age. They are more like adults, with their own personalities, but still sweet.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Hi,

I had always fantasized about adopting a Chinese baby. I think they are beautiful. After a serious illness, I baby sat a 2yr old Chinese boy while his immigrant parents worked as a waiter and waitress on Fri and Sat. nite. I couldn't believe how smart this boy was. Over the yrs he and i developed a wonderful relationship, where I could take him with me anywhere. He taught himself to read by age 4, and asked me to buy him these records and words so he could keep learning.. I loved this kid.


Annette

ME!, ME!. I am a big Chinese baby.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

here it goes, since there's "no judgement" ---

i dislike kids....theres a few i can tolerate (some of my friends kids and my niece) and most i cannot...i think babies look like a sack of alien potatoes. I can't stand the misbehaving kids kicking my booth during dinner, or my seat on an airplane. I would gladly pay more for a child free flights, child free dinners, child free EVERYTHING. If there was a planet that was child free, i would live there (and we would be extinct in no time! lol). Everyone i know with kids is miserable, sure they have some good times too.

for reference, i am 31 and my husband is 36, and neither of us have ever wanted kids.

 

[Dancing Fire]

We have two young adult PITB daughters. Too late for a refund?..

 

[LLJsmom]

Hi,

I have been very fortunate to have had some lovely children come my way in life, at the right time. Some people have their animals as therapy tools, I have kids. Difficult times usually find us all at one time or another, but unusual kids came my way to keep me busy and pull me up from my despair. and indulged some of my fantasies.

I had always fantasized about adopting a Chinese baby. I think they are beautiful. After a serious illness, I baby sat a 2yr old Chinese boy while his immigrant parents worked as a waiter and waitress on Fri and Sat. nite. I couldn't believe how smart this boy was. Over the yrs he and i developed a wonderful relationship, where I could take him with me anywhere. He taught himself to read by age 4, and asked me to buy him these records and words so he could keep learning.. I loved this kid.

There have been others like this. They have floored me. I use to have to check myself to see if I was imagining the abilities of these kids, three in all, and as they grew up, I realized i had not imagined it at all. These were gifted children.

So, I don't care much for infants or teenagers. Ages 2-10 are great. Ages 4-6 my favorite.

I had a happy childhood and while my mother was difficult, I remember so well how other adults treated me. My friends and I still marvel at the wonderful adults we had in our lives. I am happy that i have had a chance to pass this on.

Annette

How lovely of you Annette.

 

[LLJsmom]

Never was a baby person until I had my own. Was more of a pre-teen, teenager kinda person. Always felt I could relate.

Yes, have seen my share of bratty kids, but I blame it ALL on the parents. Even when my kids are being PITAs, I attribute it to my own deficiency, so I don't actually have negative feelings about the kids. It's the negligent, absent and thoughtless parents who are at fault.

Still, I'm not the first one to volunteer to babysit, but will be happy to do things together with kids. That's why I have a lot more fun when they 8 and over.

But I will say that I have much more tolerance after becoming a parent. Every person alive has been a child once. It's a stage of life and necessary for the perpetuation of the human race. People have a right to have negative feelings towards children in general, but I think it serves no purpose. Along with each age comes an unavoidable stage of human development. That's just life. Easier to accept it and go with it...

 

[lyra]

My like of children has waxed and waned over the decades. Right now, I'm in full on grandbaby mode. I want one so bad! It's years away still. So at this stage I like more than dislike. I think it's normal to have a range of emotions like this, or to be firmly in one camp or the other.

 

[Arcadian]

This thread is timely (and funny!)

I love babies, I always have. But they grow up. thats the bad part to me.

BTW I don't have any children. I have a dog and thats as close to having a kid as I'm ever going to get.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I prefer cats and dogs; and babies do nothing to me, whereas I would drool over kittens and puppies.

DK

90% of childless PSers own dogs and/or cats.

 

[mochiko42]

I'm relieved at that the percentage of people (on PS at least!) who have ambivalent feelings about babies and children is higher than I expected. I feel like less of a freak that the maternal instinct doesn't automatically kick in when I see babies and small children.

 

[Rhea]

I prefer cats and dogs; and babies do nothing to me, whereas I would drool over kittens and puppies.

DK

90% of childless PSers own dogs and/or cats.

I think you meant to say childfree

 

[Dancing Fire]

I prefer cats and dogs; and babies do nothing to me, whereas I would drool over kittens and puppies.

DK

90% of childless PSers own dogs and/or cats.

I think you meant to say childfree

Yes..

 

[zoebartlett]

I love them! I don't have any of my own, but I'm a teacher. I've always looked for ways to work with kids in some way. My husband thinks kids are cute but I think he feels a bit awkward around them.

 

[Sky56]

I'm not a "kid person." I'm an atypical woman. I never wanted to have kids... not a fan of being around them much, even as a little kid, I thought of most of my peers as little untamed. loud, cruel animals...that said... I very much like some kids and I love kid-like joy and enjoy illustrating books for kids!! I also really appreciate sweet kids and if you are parents to nice kids, I give you very big kudos! And I also get a big thrill out of meeting day-old babies - to meet you on your first day of life is a big kick to me.

 

[Sky56]

I also share kenny's childhood experience. I suffered a lot during my childhood from abuse by other kids. It colored my view of them as an adult. I always felt safe around adults when I was a kid - I was never abused by adults. Our experiences truly color our opinions on everything. I used to have cats and dogs and no longer have had pets for a long time - I outlived all of them, they surely don't have the lifespans of kids...

 

[missy]

I also share kenny's childhood experience. I suffered a lot during my childhood from abuse by other kids. It colored my view of them as an adult. I always felt safe around adults when I was a kid - I was never abused by adults. Our experiences truly color our opinions on everything. I used to have cats and dogs and no longer have had pets for a long time - I outlived all of them, they surely don't have the lifespans of kids...

I'm so sorry Sky. (((Hugs))). And yes you are so right about animals. It breaks my heart they are only with us for such a short time...

Like you I never wanted children and I always knew it. While all my friends and even sister were saying how much they wanted children I just as strongly knew I did not. However I had a different experience than you growing up and had good experiences with other children and in fact like kids in general. I am just not maternal in any way shape or form. I can barely take care of myself LOL.

 

[iLander]

I'm relieved at that the percentage of people (on PS at least!) who have ambivalent feelings about babies and children is higher than I expected. I feel like less of a freak that the maternal instinct doesn't automatically kick in when I see babies and small children.

That's great, mochiko!

I feel good about starting this thread, because I think it's a bit ridiculous for women to feel uncomfortable about liking or not liking children, in this day and age.

Neither way is right or wrong, it just is. No one should feel like a freak.

In the age of the guy that used to be on my Wheaties box, suddenly becoming a girl, a few people liking or not liking kids is NOT a big deal. Caitlin's shown we're at a stage where we can all be honest with ourselves (and others) and should be.