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Do you have a secret bank account that your SO

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
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don't know about? how about a secret stash box?
 

missy

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No, I'm glad my dh and I don't have that kind of relationship. I don't hide any purchase (or anything else) from him and vice versa. My dh knows how important honesty is (to me) in a relationship and he feels the same way.

I don't feel the need to tell him about every single purchase but all our accounts are joint so he knows about them all and believe me there are plenty lol. I really enjoy shopping. :cheeky:
 

JewelFreak

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I have a separate bank account but DH knows about it. He has one too. We do our main bills from a joint account & use our separate ones for frilly stuff. He doesn't ask me what I spent & I don't ask him, probably because we don't want to know! ;-)

--- Laurie
 

Mayk

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Nope... But we do have an account I use called "Bling" in the on line ledger :bigsmile: It only has $220.00 right now :(sad .... I'm saving up! :naughty: :Up_to_something:
 

jazzoboe

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The only secret stash of any kind I have is my chocolate stash. But even that isn't really a secret- he knows I have one, he just doesn't know where it is right now. DH has no self-control when it comes to snacks/junk food while I am a devout chocoholic, but I can get by with just a little bit each day. If I kept my treats where he could find them I would be spending $20 or more every week on chocolate and he would weigh 400 lbs. I do this with love for both of us :)

And don't worry, I bake a lot, so he still gets spoiled with treats plenty.
 

tammy77

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Ditto Missy, don't have that kind of a relationship. I wouldn't feel right about it. The closest I've come is when I've squirreled money away to buy a large gift for him that I wanted to keep a surprise.
 

justginger

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All of our banking is still separate. We've been meaning to move towards joint finances for a while now, but the banking hours down here are so screwy that the chances of us both being off work at the same time and during banking hours are apparently zero.

So technically, ALL of our bank accounts are secret. :tongue: We do intend to do what Laurie has done though, joint account for joint expenses, and then bits off to the side (extra overtime and whatnot) for our own purchases that do not require partner approval.

I would never withhold money, or the knowledge of money, from my husband. I find that extremely deceitful, and not at all what a partnership is about.
 

rosetta

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No way. We have both separate and joint accounts, but none are secret.
 

chrono

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Nope, we have both joint and separate accounts that both are well aware of. The only thing is that we do not know how much money is in the other person's personal account. Not that it is secret but it's just not something that we are concerned about.
 

Kelinas

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yes.
i have a secret account.
In it, used to be my jewelry fund (when I was in Korea)
now it has about 6 months worth of mortgage just in case, and enough for me to go back to Korea if an emergency rises.

I don't find having an account that my husband doesn't know about deceitful.
then again, I married my dh with a prenup in order, and we both keep separate accounts, so I may be the odd one out here.
 

TooPatient

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Nope.

Joint and individual accounts, but we both have access online to all accounts and the ability to shift as needed from one to another.
 

SB621

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My DH probably hasn't looked at his bank account sinice we joined ours shortly after getting married. I could be funneling money to a dozen accounts in the Grand Caymens if I wanted too- but I don't. Instead we have this black hole- called children- that sucks most of our money away.
 

february2003bride

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No way! But I do have friends that have secret credit card debt which I think is playing with fire.
 

SB621

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Feb03Bride|1372180062|3472090 said:
No way! But I do have friends that have secret credit card debt which I think is playing with fire.


WHATTTTTTTTTT that is horrible! Why are they hiding it? If they came clean they could probably work with their SO at eliminiating the debt sooner rather then later. I just don't get the point of deception. It only hurts you.
 

yennyfire

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missy|1372151414|3471886 said:
No, I'm glad my dh and I don't have that kind of relationship. I don't hide any purchase (or anything else) from him and vice versa. My dh knows how important honesty is (to me) in a relationship and he feels the same way.

I don't feel the need to tell him about every single purchase but all our accounts are joint so he knows about them all and believe me there are plenty lol. I really enjoy shopping. :cheeky:

This, exactly.
 

partgypsy

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SB621|1372176681|3472054 said:
My DH probably hasn't looked at his bank account sinice we joined ours shortly after getting married. I could be funneling money to a dozen accounts in the Grand Caymens if I wanted too- but I don't. Instead we have this black hole- called children- that sucks most of our money away.

LOL!

Yeah I wish I had the self discipline to have a secret bank account!
 

Dancing Fire

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Kelinas|1372166955|3471977 said:
yes.
i have a secret account.
In it, used to be my jewelry fund (when I was in Korea)
now it has about 6 months worth of mortgage just in case, and enough for me to go back to Korea if an emergency rises.

I don't find having an account that my husband doesn't know about deceitful.
then again, I married my dh with a prenup in order, and we both keep separate accounts, so I may be the odd one out here.
No your not.. ::)
 

Dancing Fire

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justginger|1372160318|3471911 said:
So technically, ALL of our bank accounts are secret. :tongue: We do intend to do what Laurie has done though, joint account for joint expenses, and then bits off to the side (extra overtime and whatnot) for our own purchases that do not require partner approval.

./quote]

Exactly...I don't wanna beg my wife for $$$... ::)
 

momhappy

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No. We have joint accounts for the most part. I think one of our savings accounts might be in his name, but I do the banking/bill-paying, so I have access to everything. I guess that for me, I don't see the point in having separate accounts? We both make purchases, but typically, anything around $300 or more, we would discuss with each other
 

MomInstyle

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No and yes!

We do have joint account but it has nothing there. All money for expenses in and out of my own accounts. My dh has several separate accounts for his own and I do as well. We are both fully aware of it. I do sometime save a secret stash to save up for Birkins and blings, when I do save to my goal and ready to purchase, then I tell my husband what I will get and when it will arriving. There are times that I came close to the saving goal and could not wait any longer, I inform him and give him the opportunity to contribute or bundle up my upcoming gifts. I think it's more of well-informed but just delayed or it's more of I do planning and ready for just a technicality sign off.
 

DNB

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Nope. 32 years married and our money has been all joint since day 1. I knew someone whose mom told her she had to have her own secret money in case she ever had to leave , but I wasn't raised that way. DH says it's all mine anyway since I've always paid the bills, whether we've have one income or two. I was a SAHM for 14 years and never felt the money wasn't ours. I do think it's a strange way to live if you have to keep secret accounts. Almost like you're planning for it not to work.
 

Dancing Fire

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momhappy|1372273570|3472752 said:
No. We have joint accounts for the most part. I think one of our savings accounts might be in his name, but I do the banking/bill-paying, so I have access to everything. I guess that for me, I don't see the point in having separate accounts? We both make purchases, but typically, anything around $300 or more, we would discuss with each other
What if she kicks me out of the house or if I wanted to buy a guy toy?
 

monarch64

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DF, do YOU have a secret stash box????

Seriously, this is kind of a sore subject for me. My parents who are in their early 70's now have had a history of hiding money from each other. I only know this because my mom has treated me like a friend, not a child, from early on, and has told me all of their marital problems, up to and including their financial issues. One sided story, of course. Who knows wth my dad actually has going on. Terrible position for a child/adult child of idiots to be in.

My ex-husband (obviously I made a poor decision) also had issues with hiding money, hiding debt, etc. His mother, my former MIL, ran up $30k cc debt and couldn't pay it--my ex FIL had to work into his 70's to make up that loss. THEN, my ex-H at the end of our marriage, informed me that he owed his dad $50k. Secrets keep us sick, as families. I had an inkling of his idiocy a couple years into the marriage, and as I found out more and more, built myself up to leave knowing he would never right his wrongs or change.

My brother, who is happily married, has secretly kept an account he's had since he was a child from buying/selling livestock. Should he tell his lovely wife, who I (and everyone else in our family) adore? I don't know. Not my place to say, but I hate knowing about it. (My mother, bearer of all knowledge/matriarch in some respects told me about it about 2 years ago. Needless to say, I wish I didn't know.)

My husband has ONE "stash box." I don't even know where it is. I don't want to know and have refused to listen when he's tried to tell me. We have a very good mutual friend who knows about it. The issue is that he says it's for "bail money." He's heavily involved in politics. He's not a criminal. He's apparently just equipped with incredible foresight? I don't know. I have a 13 month old to worry about and really can't be bothered with any other antics. Other than his bail money stash, we are completely open and honest with each other about finances, and I'm glad. There is a lot more love in our house than any other one I've lived in.








*F, go ahead and email him with a screen shot like I know you will. wink!*
 

rosetta

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If my husband ever kept secret money from me I'd be gearing up for divorce proceedings.

On the back of this thread we have have just agreed to have all our salaries into the same account directly, in the interests of greater transparency. Before we had them put into separate accounts and then transferred money into our joint account as needed.
 

Dancing Fire

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monarch64|1372317955|3473074 said:
DF, do YOU have a secret stash box????
Nahhh,not really, b/c she knows where it is.. :lol: but neither one of us have any idea of the balance in each other's accounts... :read: We have been married for 26 yrs now and we avoid the money topic as much as we can, b/c money and affairs are the two main reasons leading to a divorce.
 

Laila619

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Nope. No secrets in our marriage...
 

tammy77

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It's my understanding that money troubles (hiding things, differing spending habits/goals, etc.) are what strain a relationship, not communication and transparency. Affairs often happen because a couple has drifted apart and a good part of that is caused again by not communicating. ;)) I'm sure it works for you because you've been happily married for 26 years (congrats by the way, that's awesome!) but I'm not sure that would work for a majority of married couples. I know it wouldn't work for mine!
 
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