Do you ever get depressed on your birthday?

[craighnt]

I seem to be overwhelmed today. Both my parents have been gone for years now and looking back kind of makes me sad. On top of that, a very close friend passed away from breast cancer last year about 1 week before my birthday so that's all coming up now too. She was way too young and vibrant, had kids and husband that were devastated. Don't get me wrong, I still have good friends, siblings, a partner in my life but I just can seem the shake the edge of sadness today.

 

[arkieb1]

Big hugs, Happy Birthday!!!!! There have been some where I have gotten depressed for various reasons and others that were great, I think it depended upon what else was going on in my life at the time. I hope you get to eat some cake, shake off the blues and think about all of the happy memories you have had with loved ones and the friend you miss.

 

[missy]

So sorry for your losses. I agree with arkieb in that it depends what you have going on in your life around the specific birthday. I usually love birthdays but this year wasn't my best. I hope you have a good birthday despite feeling sad which is totally normal given what has happened and that you can celebrate all the good in your life and remember your friend and parents with happy memories. Birthday hugs being sent your way.

 

[LaraOnline]

I am so sorry to hear of your 'mixed feelings' regarding your birthday!
Life is a 'rich tapestry' so they say - and the more birthdays you've already had, the 'richer' that tapestry becomes.
So of course in a full life you WILL have wonderful people and experiences that you will look back on, and perhaps wish about.
You are complicated, you are multi-layered... and you are being swept forward irrevocably, so you might as well enjoy it. Yay for the past! and Yay for the future!
Are you planning something fun? Or - at least - distracting?

 

[makemepretty]

Totally normal. Yes, it makes me sad. Especially if you've lost loved ones you know as you get older the chances of you living forever are getting slim. I've been waiting for them to find a cure for that but so far...not going to happen.

Try to focus on all the positives. Treat yourself, feel loved and realize that another birthday is a gift in itself. Easier said than done, I know.

 

[momhappy]

As an adult, birthdays don't hold much significance for me (unless it's a milestone birthday like 30, 40, etc.). I don't really understand making a big fuss over adult birthdays. I wouldn't say that I get depressed, but I get a twinge of "yuck" over getting yet another year older. To be honest, since I had kids about 10 years ago, every year on my birthday, I feel thankful that I've survived another year to care for them/love them. I guess I feel some sense of responsibility to be there for them and I'm a worry-wart, so I worry about all of the what-if scenarios (what if I got cancer, etc.).
It sounds like you've gone through some difficult things, so your feelings of depression sound justified. I'm sorry about your loss. Maybe try to do something special for yourself to lighten your mood a little?

 

[Calliecake]

Im so sorry for you loss. ((Hugs)). I'm with the others who say that you are probably feeling this way because of everything else that's going on in your life. The first anniversary of a death of a loved one is always very painful. Be kind to yourself and try to enjoy the day with your loved ones.

 

[Begonia]

Happy Birthday! I know you don't feel very happy about it, but this is the special day you came into the world and we want to celebrate that. Happy Birthday Dear .

I do get down for similar reasons. I miss the phone call I get from my Mom saying " Happy Birthday Begonia-baby. Forty eight years ago today they placed you in my arms...".

 

[Calliecake]

Craignt, I forgot to tell you Happy Birthday. I hope you don't mind all of us celebrating you being here! I hope you do something for yourself today that makes you happy

 

[mrs taylor]

I absolutely loathe my birthday. I don't care about getting older, it's just that inevitably it's the worst day of the year almost every year. If it's not the worst, it still manages to suck my will to live.

This year my kids and husband were camping on my birthday and I was alone. That was one of the better birthdays I've had in almost 4 decades.

 

[kenny]

I don't care about birthdays.
I don't care that the earth is the same place in its orbit around the sun as it was the day I was born.
Big Whoop!
I'm just not that important, even to me.
We're born, we do stuff, and we die. Yawn.

I don't celebrate any birthdays except my SO's, since he wants that.

Birthdays can't bother you unless you join the lemurs and think of that day as in any way special.
I think your depression stems from a cosmic realization that a birthday is not special.
It's just another day, like all the other made-up holidays.

Accepting we are all going to die, and that's okay, may do the trick.
Denying our mortality causes so much psychic pain, not to mention all the mischief resulting from those myths made up that deny death.

 

[monarch64]

I think it's normal to take time on or around your birthday to reflect on your past year and events that have happened. I don't consider birthdays the most important days in one's life, but it's a marker of time and I think it is nice to celebrate growing another year older and hopefully wiser.

If you want to think of it as allowing yourself a day to be sad and remember loved ones lost, I think that's perfectly ok. I hope you feel better soon!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I was just thinking about this too. I am not a fan of birthdays at all. I really don't want to celebrate them. I tell my hubby that I don't want him to get me anything yet I am slightly disappointed when he doesn't surprise me with something wonderful.

This year, there was so much hard stuff that happened before my birthday that the thought of celebrating getting another year older just added another layer of yuck to it for me.

I can't get away from it to much though. My daughter is a week before my birthday and her DH is two days before mine. So I will be making a b-day meal for them this weekend.

I think my issue has been birthdays being really disappointing to me since I was a child. When my kids were little I always went overboard trying to make them special, but my DH never did it for mine. We are quite simply on different planes when it comes to gifts and I have come to accept it. I also don't like mother's day for the same reason. I think it is just something that I have to suck up. I try to get into it a little and not be such a debbie downer but I am always so glad when it is over.

 

[packrat]

I'm sorry!

Birthdays aren't super important to me-which probably upsets my kids but...we never celebrated them when we were growing up and I just don't "get them" I suppose. I was born on my grampa's birthday, and he died when I was 13, about a month or so before we had our birthday, so it's always kind of sad, but I try not to focus on it.

 

[AprilBaby]

Happy birthday to you! They never bother me nor do I get excited. I think 60 May bother me in five years.

 

[craighnt]

Thanks everyone, I just seemed to get a little overwhelmed with life lately. Last year I did something I never do, gave myself a present to mark a milestone birthday. Not just any present but literally my first diamond ring. Stone came from a ring I inherited from my late mother. That thing elevates my mood every time I wear it. I had no idea it would be so powerful. I mean it wasn't a gift, or a surprise, its something I did for myself. The sentimental value as well as the know history in my head really put a surprise twist on it for me.

I am thinking maybe next year I might do another ring, assuming I can save up enough disposable cash. This could become a very expensive birthday habit. I got raised eyebrows for doing it the first time. Men dont usually do this kind of thing for themselves. If it becomes a personal tradition, I will have some "splain-in" to do.

 

[amc80]

I definitely do. I think it's because I always really enjoyed my birthdays as a kid...but as an adult, they are just sort of blah. This last year it was on a Saturday and DH was working...so it was just like any other day. Oh, except we were moving so we packing as well.

 

[maccers]

Yeah, I can get a bit blah, particularly on milestone birthdays because I tend to take stock of my life a little more closely. I'm in my mid-30s and for some reason I'm really dreading 40. But I have a couple of years to mentally prepare for it.

I think that's wonderful you have a beautiful momento of your mom. Can I see a pic?

And yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

[Monnyjay]

Happy Birthday to you! Try not to get too depressed and dwell on the past, I just think it's another day and the older you get the less important birthdays are.

I most certainly miss my grandparents on my birthday, particularly my maternal grandmother who I was extremely close to. As times goes on I think it becomes a lot easier - of course you still miss the phone call or the birthday card which they never forgot to post. I still have one Grandparent on my dads side, coming up to 95 this year. I also find Christmas can be a bit sad without loved ones who have passed.

We always celebrate the kids birthdays, unfortunately they prefer to party with their friends now they are older

Hopefully next year's birthday will be a bit easier to cope with. Losing your good friend would not help make it any easier this time round.

It's just one day - as somebody else said we should always be grateful we are around to celebrate another one!