Death...do you think about it at all

[missy]

And does it scare you or are you more of a pragmatist and knowing it is inevitable you accept it and don't think or worry about it?

The recent ghost thread has revived my interest in this topic and all that it can possibly mean.

When I was a little girl I remember vivid thoughts worrying about what death was and closing my eyes and thinking the blackness mimicked how death must be minus any feelings/thoughts. Just a total black abyss. Nothingness. And it scared the bejeezus out of me. Even back then I thought too much and overanalyzed everything.

I would love to believe in reincarnation because that would mean you never really die. And I would also love to believe that your soulmate is always your soulmate throughout the times and you always find each other. The rational part of me knows this cannot be true and also does not believe reincarnation exists. But the recent ghost thread really has me thinking. If ghosts exist does that mean afterlife exists? Does that mean we don't truly die but go on in different forms? And is that a good thing or is it something else to fear? I wouldn't want to go on as a ghost, trapped in another world unable to live amongst the living if you kwim.

I would love to hear what others thought about death and all that goes along with it. Sorry if this topic is a downer for some but I am looking for some insight on what others might think.

 

[justginger]

I am petrified of death. Not what happens after because I do believe in an afterlife, and am enough of a realist to accept that if those beliefs are wrong, then there is nothingness. So 'after' is not a worry - it's the process of dying that scares me. Pain, worry, panic, suffering. No, no, no. It makes me feel sick. I try not to think of it.

 

[aviastar]

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” - Dumbledore

The 'after' doesn't worry me at all. I simply believe that there is an afterlife and it is better than what we have going on here. But I do feel scared of living without those I love for any length of time, even though I believe we will be reunited for eternity later. My death doesn't bother me; my husband's death terrifies me, but for me, not him.

 

[packrat]

I don't believe anything happens after, so that part isn't what bothers me. It's the process. If I could just go to sleep and that's it, then ok, that's not really anything to be afraid of. But I worry about it being a struggle. What if I'm attacked and fighting for my life? What if I'm in a horrible accident and struggling to survive? That feeling of helplessness.

When I was pregnant w/Trapper I had a couple panic attacks, worrying about it. Part of it was I'd read a book about a guy who had all this crazy stuff happen to him and nobody believed him, and then it turned out he was the crazy one. For the life of me I can't remember who wrote it or what it was called. But in those weird almost-asleep moments when you're all tingly and juuuuust starting to drift off, your mind does some not so nice things and thinks some not so nice thinks.

 

[momhappy]

My two greatest fears in life revolve around death and dying. One of them is me dying (and not being here to care for my children) and the other one is losing one of my children - both of which are equally as terrifying. I can think of no greater horrors...

 

[jaysonsmom]

I don't believe anything happens after, so that part isn't what bothers me. It's the process. If I could just go to sleep and that's it, then ok, that's not really anything to be afraid of. But I worry about it being a struggle. What if I'm attacked and fighting for my life? What if I'm in a horrible accident and struggling to survive? That feeling of helplessness.

When I was pregnant w/Trapper I had a couple panic attacks, worrying about it. Part of it was I'd read a book about a guy who had all this crazy stuff happen to him and nobody believed him, and then it turned out he was the crazy one. For the life of me I can't remember who wrote it or what it was called. But in those weird almost-asleep moments when you're all tingly and juuuuust starting to drift off, your mind does some not so nice things and thinks some not so nice thinks.

I think I read the same book....Still with me by Thierry Cohen? I don't fear death because I too believe in a better afterlife, but I worry about my children an husband, and who'd care for them if I were to die.

 

[loriken214]

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” - Dumbledore

The 'after' doesn't worry me at all. I simply believe that there is an afterlife and it is better than what we have going on here. But I do feel scared of living without those I love for any length of time, even though I believe we will be reunited for eternity later. My death doesn't bother me; my husband's death terrifies me, but for me, not him.

This! I was diagnosed with SLE Lupus on October 1, 2003 and my rheumy told me to get my affairs in order and to be prepared at all times. I was very sick and an infection could take me out at any time. He was right, an infection DID TAKE ME OUT in April of 2012. My lungs gave out and I died. The doctors saved me in time and I ended up on life support, induced coma and then rehab for weeks. When I woke up, I was really pissed off because I was ready to go to the place without pain and suffering that I knew was waiting for me. My DH said he knew that I would be mad that I was brought back and he was right!

After many more infections and hospital stays, I'm still fighting for my life every day. It is a battle and I get really tired of being sick and tired. My body is failing me and I'm only 51. I had to take a disability retirement, from a well paying job, at 44. Life, as I knew it, was forever changed.

When I was young and healthy, I was fearless...no worries. Today, I'm not afraid of death...I welcome it.

Lori

 

[loriken214]

And yes, I think about it all of the time and wonder when the next infection or organ failure will happen.

Lori

 

[sonnyjane]

I'm not afraid of it at all, but logistically I dread it.

My husband has a very dangerous job and so we have to revisit his will every few years. Just the other day we were addressing it because we recently bought a house and even though I'm only 30, I'm nervous about making sure all affairs are in order if one of us dies. Do I still want to live in that house that we just painted together? Will the memories be too much? Will I ever remarry? Blah blah lol. I think about those things at least a couple times a week. Better to be prepared than caught off-guard.

When people ask me how I deal with my husband having the job he does, I try to explain that ANYONE can die at any time... a car accident, a movie theater, a mall shooting, etc. At least because he does what he does, I have time to prepare legally and emotionally. Many people that I know who work in office buildings never contemplate the possibility of dying suddenly.

I also don't want to be dying and alone. I'll be honest, it's one reason that we have chosen to retire to a state that allows doctor-assisted suicide for the terminally ill.

 

[msop04]

I am petrified of death. Not what happens after because I do believe in an afterlife, and am enough of a realist to accept that if those beliefs are wrong, then there is nothingness. So 'after' is not a worry - it's the process of dying that scares me. Pain, worry, panic, suffering. No, no, no. It makes me feel sick. I try not to think of it.

+1

I feel this exact same way... I am relatively young (will turn 35 this year), but since I entered my 30s, I have been much more aware of my own mortality.

 

[ihy138]

I do, at times. Sometimes I stop and think that it could happen to me at any moment, but that's when I'm feeling particularly anxious. I think what gets to me is not knowing how it will happen to me and when. I am a control freak, so I'm pretty averse to the unknown.

 

[dk168]

Can't say I think of it all the time, however, I know I am likely to die alone, and shall make sure I have a will in place, plan my funeral etc. in advance.

When it is time to go, I would like to go swiftly and without pain.

DK

 

[JewelFreak]

Loriken, dust & more to you. It's a tough road you're traveling -- but one advantage you have over most people is the knowledge of what's there & where you're going -- and that you'll find others waiting for you. Knowing that love & mercy is a gift among hard times. Hugs, girl.

I see myself standing there like a Girl Scout who failed the merit badge, ashamed of myself. I am afraid to account for the things I haven't done, the ones I've done badly, the unused gifts I've been given.

Having had several enlightening, wondrous experiences (including, but not limited to, ghosts), my opinion is that there is something beyond this plane. There is mercy so vast, we have no words to describe it, nor brains in our very human heads to comprehend it. What it's like, where it is, I couldn't begin to guess. I am sure some of those I love have hung around me -- I feel them almost physically sometimes & if I ask sincerely, they "talk" to me.

This life is like going away to school, to me. We're here to learn and to grow. The body is like a coat we put on for a while & when it's worn out or ripped, no longer wearable, we slip out of it. I only wish that process weren't so painful for so many.

--- Laurie

 

[Natylad]

I think about it all the time...And i have an experience that i'd like to share but i don't have enough time to elaborate right now. I'll come back.

 

[Maisie]

I'm not afraid to die. I have faith that I will be going home to my saviour. What worries me is that my son with special needs won't cope without his mummy.

 

[madelise]

Yes. I'm too pussy to make decisions based 100% on what I want in life, and I'm scared death will come sooner than later, and I'll regret it all.

 

[SB621]

I'm not afraid of death or dying. Even at my young (by my standards age) I have lived a wonderful life. I have 2 beautiful children who i love more then I thought possible. I have a husband that makes Romeo look like trailer trash. We/ I have already done so much in my life, and I consider myself very lucky that at least in my adult life I haven't really seen anything dramatic to change my outlook. However with that said, last year a good friend of mine also got cancer. She has 3 young children at the time: newborn, 2 year old and 8 year old. I asked if she was scared and I will never forget her looking at me and saying she was happy it was her that had cancer. She could handle that, she could handle dying. She could NOT handle having one her children go through that. So that is sort of my outlook now. I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid something will happen to my kids. I try not to think about it as well it is morbid and just useless to get yourself worked up about. Instead I'm going to smother all my loved ones in hugs and kisses, continue to see the world, and take my 4 legged babies on long walks. When the day comes that I can't anymore I figure I will have deserved a good rest. And I hope my children or if I'm lucky enough grandchildren, will honor me and remember me as a woman who loved all of them and keep me close in their heart.

 

[Christina...]

I'm not afraid to die. I have faith that I will be going home to my saviour. What worries me is that my son with special needs won't cope without his mummy.

I have a special needs son as well, and this is my biggest fear...not the process of dying, but how my death will affect the people I leave behind, most especially my DS. I know that he has considered it as well and it produces intense anxiety for him. It's scariest thought I possess.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I'm not afraid to die. I have faith that I will be going home to my saviour. What worries me is that my son with special needs won't cope without his mummy.

This 100%. Even this day I have thought about things that we need to set in place for our son to have a place to live for life, etc. I think my only fear is that something might happen to me before we could do it.

 

[LetItShine]

Afraid of death?'. Do I think about it? Yes and no. My Faith in God, Heaven, Forgiveness of Sins, and Eternal Life give me peace. I'm not afraid to die cause I know I'll be going to a better place. Because my children are still relatively young I am afraid of leaving them behind. I do know that they will be fine and well taken care of though. I admit I'm afraid of losing one of my kids...disease, car accident, etc...I don't think I could cope and can't imagine my life with that kind of loss. At the same time, I realize it's part of God's master plan and with that comes peace and acceptance. I think about death when it comes to my folks. They are aging and losing them will be difficult. What helps me most is realizing that my days have always been numbered. Only God knows when He will call me Home. I can't worry about things like death because it isn't in my control anyway.

Back in November I looked death in the eye. I was on a private jet heading home from a short weekend in the Bahamas. There was 6 of us. We heard a POP. We all looked at each other and instantly the jet starting filling up with smoke! One of the engines was on fire! You would be surprised at how quickly a small jet fills up with smoke. My heart instantly sank. I thought about my kids and their life without two parents. I put the oxygen mask on and looked at my husband. He told me we would be okay and I just shook my head "no, we're not". I REALLY thought that was the end. Plane smoking at 30,000 feet over the Atlantic is not a good feeling. I closed my eyes and prayed Psalm 23 over and over. It was weird...I was calm and felt peace. Anyway, I'm still here We made an emergency landing in Orlando and caught a commercial flight home. I still get "weirded out" every time I think about that experience. I've flown private aircraft many times but will say I will NEVER fly that particular jet again! One strike and it's out.

 

[Circe]

I'm not afraid of death or dying. Even at my young (by my standards age) I have lived a wonderful life. I have 2 beautiful children who i love more then I thought possible. I have a husband that makes Romeo look like trailer trash. We/ I have already done so much in my life, and I consider myself very lucky that at least in my adult life I haven't really seen anything dramatic to change my outlook. However with that said, last year a good friend of mine also got cancer. She has 3 young children at the time: newborn, 2 year old and 8 year old. I asked if she was scared and I will never forget her looking at me and saying she was happy it was her that had cancer. She could handle that, she could handle dying. She could NOT handle having one her children go through that. So that is sort of my outlook now. I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid something will happen to my kids. I try not to think about it as well it is morbid and just useless to get yourself worked up about. Instead I'm going to smother all my loved ones in hugs and kisses, continue to see the world, and take my 4 legged babies on long walks. When the day comes that I can't anymore I figure I will have deserved a good rest. And I hope my children or if I'm lucky enough grandchildren, will honor me and remember me as a woman who loved all of them and keep me close in their heart.

SB, this is genuinely one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I'm bookmarking it.

 

[Circe]

I am petrified of death. Not what happens after because I do believe in an afterlife, and am enough of a realist to accept that if those beliefs are wrong, then there is nothingness. So 'after' is not a worry - it's the process of dying that scares me. Pain, worry, panic, suffering. No, no, no. It makes me feel sick. I try not to think of it.

+1

I feel this exact same way... I am relatively young (will turn 35 this year), but since I entered my 30s, I have been much more aware of my own mortality.

Of everyone who's posted on this thread, I think I'm closest to you guys, but minus the belief in the afterlife. I used to be unconventionally religious, and lost my faith a few years ago. Now? I think when we die, we're no longer in existence. And having had - compared to many of you in this thread, completely NOTHING, and I respect you all so much for sharing your stories - a few close calls since then, every time my first thought has been, "No, no yet, not ready." Especially since my son was born: I've done everything I can to set up a good situation for him, but having a mother and some friends who lost parents early on ... that doesn't seem to be the sort of thing people really ever recover from completely.

So! I am determined to do my best to stay here on in the best shape I can as long as possible, and when the end comes, I hope I will have attained the kind of peace and satisfaction SB describes. Don't get me wrong, I love my life! But if things were to end now, I think I'd feel bad (insofar as thinking about anything other than the whole "no, not yet, not ready" thing) about not having left more of a legacy. In grad school, I used to joke that if the only thing I left was a monograph some other academic 300 years in the future found handy, it'd all be worth it ... now, I want at least a little more than that.

Slip-cased volume?

So, anyway. No, I try not to think about it all that much, actually ... this is more thought than I've given it (on an empty stomach and a glass of wine, no less) in quite a while. Interesting s-of-c effect goin' on ....

 

[kalomeli]

That's all I think right now. Me and my friend we found one of our friends dead today. He was 26.

I'm broken.

 

[loriken214]

I don't fixate on death, but I have to face reality. My illness dictates how I live and I am getting my affairs in order as we speak. DH and I have our wills prepared and I am selling off things that I don't need or use....including my gemstone and jewelry collection. A dear friend is helping me sell some of my other collections since I'm not well enough to do it myself. I'm trying to downsize just about everything so DH won't have to deal with it.

We lost my mom and stepfather, suddenly, and they were both 70 years old. We lost DH's parents suddenly, too, and they were in their mid 70's. We don't have any children.

DH has health issues, too, and I'm afraid that I may end up alone. I pray that I won't have to go to an assisted living place and that is my biggest fear. I had planned to prepare a DNR, but my rheumy won't let me give up....I had printed one and it was sitting on my printer when I died in 2012....ironic!

My heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with this issue.

Lori

 

[sonnyjane]

I don't fixate on death, but I have to face reality. My illness dictates how I live and I am getting my affairs in order as we speak. DH and I have our wills prepared and I am selling off things that I don't need or use....including my gemstone and jewelry collection. A dear friend is helping me sell some of my other collections since I'm not well enough to do it myself. I'm trying to downsize just about everything so DH won't have to deal with it.

We lost my mom and stepfather, suddenly, and they were both 70 years old. We lost DH's parents suddenly, too, and they were in their mid 70's. We don't have any children.

DH has health issues, too, and I'm afraid that I may end up alone. I pray that I won't have to go to an assisted living place and that is my biggest fear. I had planned to prepare a DNR, but my rheumy won't let me give up....I had printed one and it was sitting on my printer when I died in 2012....ironic!

My heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with this issue.

Lori

We don't have children either. I don't want to live in assisted living, but *my* big fear is that I'll outlive my husband but just die alone and nobody will find me for months!

 

[AprilBaby]

I have been reading about near death experiences recently and 99 percent of them said death was very peaceful and joyful and they didn't want to come back. Even those who had "painful" deaths had no pain or fear. That's comforting to me. I fear the pain of death but not the afterlife because I believe I know where I will be. If these people are right, the pain should hold no fear.

 

[packrat]

Jaysonsmom, figured it out-Fear by L Ron Hubbard. Tho now I want to read the one you mentioned!

 

[pregcurious]

After both my parents died, in not so great ways, I think about them a lot, and death sometimes. I believe in an afterlife, so I am most concerned about the process of dying. I helped one of my parents die, as best as I could, and I would hope that my children would do the same for me. It was obviously a hard thing to go through. If you have the opportunity to help someone make that journey, I encourage you to. I learned things about the process, life, my parent, and myself. I miss them dearly, and over time, the longing does not decrease.

 

[missy]

I am petrified of death. Not what happens after because I do believe in an afterlife, and am enough of a realist to accept that if those beliefs are wrong, then there is nothingness. So 'after' is not a worry - it's the process of dying that scares me. Pain, worry, panic, suffering. No, no, no. It makes me feel sick. I try not to think of it.

Ginger, I hope when we die it is quick and painless because I agree the thought of a long drawn out and painful death is scary. Though the thought of nothingness scares me perhaps even more.

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” - Dumbledore

The 'after' doesn't worry me at all. I simply believe that there is an afterlife and it is better than what we have going on here. But I do feel scared of living without those I love for any length of time, even though I believe we will be reunited for eternity later. My death doesn't bother me; my husband's death terrifies me, but for me, not him.

aviastar, This is my biggest fear. Living without my loved ones and most specifically my darling husband. And just like you my dh's death terrifies me for me not for him. He is not scared of death (though he hopes it is not coming for a long time) but I am very scared he will die before me and leave me alone. My hope is we die at a ripe old age together. He is 7 years older than me so I know odds are not in our favor but that is what I hope.

I don't believe anything happens after, so that part isn't what bothers me. It's the process. If I could just go to sleep and that's it, then ok, that's not really anything to be afraid of. But I worry about it being a struggle. What if I'm attacked and fighting for my life? What if I'm in a horrible accident and struggling to survive? That feeling of helplessness.

When I was pregnant w/Trapper I had a couple panic attacks, worrying about it. Part of it was I'd read a book about a guy who had all this crazy stuff happen to him and nobody believed him, and then it turned out he was the crazy one. For the life of me I can't remember who wrote it or what it was called. But in those weird almost-asleep moments when you're all tingly and juuuuust starting to drift off, your mind does some not so nice things and thinks some not so nice thinks.

packrat, I used to watch that show "I Survived". Not sure if you ever saw it but very unpleasant and scary. Being helpless and unable to prevent harm to yourself is terrifying.

My two greatest fears in life revolve around death and dying. One of them is me dying (and not being here to care for my children) and the other one is losing one of my children - both of which are equally as terrifying. I can think of no greater horrors...

momhappy, this would be my greatest fear as well if I had children. I cannot imagine anything worse than losing one's child. Nothing could ever compare truly.

Jaysonsmom Another fear I can understand to be sure. To lose one's mother is always traumatic but for a young child so much more so because we get so much from our mother's and we always need them don't we? No one can really ever take their place.

I don't fixate on death, but I have to face reality. My illness dictates how I live and I am getting my affairs in order as we speak. DH and I have our wills prepared and I am selling off things that I don't need or use....including my gemstone and jewelry collection. A dear friend is helping me sell some of my other collections since I'm not well enough to do it myself. I'm trying to downsize just about everything so DH won't have to deal with it.

We lost my mom and stepfather, suddenly, and they were both 70 years old. We lost DH's parents suddenly, too, and they were in their mid 70's. We don't have any children.

DH has health issues, too, and I'm afraid that I may end up alone. I pray that I won't have to go to an assisted living place and that is my biggest fear. I had planned to prepare a DNR, but my rheumy won't let me give up....I had printed one and it was sitting on my printer when I died in 2012....ironic!

My heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with this issue.

Lori

Lori, my heart goes out to you because you have gone through more than any person should ever have to go through and you are a true survivor. As always I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and hoping for a better tomorrow...here's one of my favorite songs when I am feeling sad. This is for you Lori. (((Hugs)))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXioctDPGn0

 

[missy]

I'm not afraid of it at all, but logistically I dread it.

My husband has a very dangerous job and so we have to revisit his will every few years. Just the other day we were addressing it because we recently bought a house and even though I'm only 30, I'm nervous about making sure all affairs are in order if one of us dies. Do I still want to live in that house that we just painted together? Will the memories be too much? Will I ever remarry? Blah blah lol. I think about those things at least a couple times a week. Better to be prepared than caught off-guard.

When people ask me how I deal with my husband having the job he does, I try to explain that ANYONE can die at any time... a car accident, a movie theater, a mall shooting, etc. At least because he does what he does, I have time to prepare legally and emotionally. Many people that I know who work in office buildings never contemplate the possibility of dying suddenly.

I also don't want to be dying and alone. I'll be honest, it's one reason that we have chosen to retire to a state that allows doctor-assisted suicide for the terminally ill.

Sonnyjane, I'm with you in feeling that being prepared is the best thing you can do. We cannot control so much but we can prepare for the inevitable regardless of when it happens. And I am 100% for doctor assisted suicide for the terminally ill. Amazing how uncivilized death can often be and how little freedom one has in choosing how and when one dies.

Sending dust for keeping your dh safe when he is protecting our country and thank you for your sacrifice and his service.

msop04, I am not sure when I became acutely aware of my mortality but it certainly was at a young age though in my twenties I think I forgot about it for a while lol. You know the invincibility of youth and all lol.

I do, at times. Sometimes I stop and think that it could happen to me at any moment, but that's when I'm feeling particularly anxious. I think what gets to me is not knowing how it will happen to me and when. I am a control freak, so I'm pretty averse to the unknown.

ihy138, Hi from another control freak here. Same reason I hate to fly and same reason I fear death and what comes after. I cannot control it and it scares me to death...haha (bad joke, sorry). I hate hate hate the unknown and I also detest change with a passion. All those things death and dying embody.

Can't say I think of it all the time, however, I know I am likely to die alone, and shall make sure I have a will in place, plan my funeral etc. in advance.

When it is time to go, I would like to go swiftly and without pain.

DK

DK, I agree. Being prepared is the best thing you can do and the right thing for any family and loved ones left behind. The month my dh and I got married we got everything in order re wills and powers of attorney etc. It somehow gives a little piece of mind to an otherwise terribly unpleasant issue.

Loriken, dust & more to you. It's a tough road you're traveling -- but one advantage you have over most people is the knowledge of what's there & where you're going -- and that you'll find others waiting for you. Knowing that love & mercy is a gift among hard times. Hugs, girl.

I see myself standing there like a Girl Scout who failed the merit badge, ashamed of myself. I am afraid to account for the things I haven't done, the ones I've done badly, the unused gifts I've been given.

Having had several enlightening, wondrous experiences (including, but not limited to, ghosts), my opinion is that there is something beyond this plane. There is mercy so vast, we have no words to describe it, nor brains in our very human heads to comprehend it. What it's like, where it is, I couldn't begin to guess. I am sure some of those I love have hung around me -- I feel them almost physically sometimes & if I ask sincerely, they "talk" to me.

This life is like going away to school, to me. We're here to learn and to grow. The body is like a coat we put on for a while & when it's worn out or ripped, no longer wearable, we slip out of it. I only wish that process weren't so painful for so many.

--- Laurie

Laurie, What a lovely way to think about this topic. I hope you are right and thanks for your perspective on this topic. It gives me pause and a bit of a bright spot in an otherwise very sad topic.

I think about it all the time...And i have an experience that i'd like to share but i don't have enough time to elaborate right now. I'll come back.

NatyI hope you do come back and share your experience. Looking forward to your thoughts.

I'm not afraid to die. I have faith that I will be going home to my saviour. What worries me is that my son with special needs won't cope without his mummy.

Maisie, (((hugs))) to you and your son. That is a very upsetting worry and I hope you have eons and eons of time with your ds!

Yes. I'm too pussy to make decisions based 100% on what I want in life, and I'm scared death will come sooner than later, and I'll regret it all.

madelise Here's hoping death comes much much later for you and everyone here and that you will have no regrets when the time arrives. Hugs to you.

I'm not afraid of death or dying. Even at my young (by my standards age) I have lived a wonderful life. I have 2 beautiful children who i love more then I thought possible. I have a husband that makes Romeo look like trailer trash. We/ I have already done so much in my life, and I consider myself very lucky that at least in my adult life I haven't really seen anything dramatic to change my outlook. However with that said, last year a good friend of mine also got cancer. She has 3 young children at the time: newborn, 2 year old and 8 year old. I asked if she was scared and I will never forget her looking at me and saying she was happy it was her that had cancer. She could handle that, she could handle dying. She could NOT handle having one her children go through that. So that is sort of my outlook now. I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid something will happen to my kids. I try not to think about it as well it is morbid and just useless to get yourself worked up about. Instead I'm going to smother all my loved ones in hugs and kisses, continue to see the world, and take my 4 legged babies on long walks. When the day comes that I can't anymore I figure I will have deserved a good rest. And I hope my children or if I'm lucky enough grandchildren, will honor me and remember me as a woman who loved all of them and keep me close in their heart.

Sarah love this and your way of thinking! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful outlook.

I have a special needs son as well, and this is my biggest fear...not the process of dying, but how my death will affect the people I leave behind, most especially my DS. I know that he has considered it as well and it produces intense anxiety for him. It's scariest thought I possess.

Christina, That is the scariest thought and I hope you are around for your son for a very very long time and that your son has peace and comfort for all his time. (((Hugs))).

I'm not afraid to die. I have faith that I will be going home to my saviour. What worries me is that my son with special needs won't cope without his mummy.

This 100%. Even this day I have thought about things that we need to set in place for our son to have a place to live for life, etc. I think my only fear is that something might happen to me before we could do it.

Diamondseeker, now is the time and perhaps this thread is the impetus for you taking care of this...maybe there was a reason I felt compelled to start this depressing thread topic? Anyway, hugs to you and your son and wishing a long and healthy future for all of you!

Afraid of death?'. Do I think about it? Yes and no. My Faith in God, Heaven, Forgiveness of Sins, and Eternal Life give me peace. I'm not afraid to die cause I know I'll be going to a better place. Because my children are still relatively young I am afraid of leaving them behind. I do know that they will be fine and well taken care of though. I admit I'm afraid of losing one of my kids...disease, car accident, etc...I don't think I could cope and can't imagine my life with that kind of loss. At the same time, I realize it's part of God's master plan and with that comes peace and acceptance. I think about death when it comes to my folks. They are aging and losing them will be difficult. What helps me most is realizing that my days have always been numbered. Only God knows when He will call me Home. I can't worry about things like death because it isn't in my control anyway.

Back in November I looked death in the eye. I was on a private jet heading home from a short weekend in the Bahamas. There was 6 of us. We heard a POP. We all looked at each other and instantly the jet starting filling up with smoke! One of the engines was on fire! You would be surprised at how quickly a small jet fills up with smoke. My heart instantly sank. I thought about my kids and their life without two parents. I put the oxygen mask on and looked at my husband. He told me we would be okay and I just shook my head "no, we're not". I REALLY thought that was the end. Plane smoking at 30,000 feet over the Atlantic is not a good feeling. I closed my eyes and prayed Psalm 23 over and over. It was weird...I was calm and felt peace. Anyway, I'm still here We made an emergency landing in Orlando and caught a commercial flight home. I still get "weirded out" every time I think about that experience. I've flown private aircraft many times but will say I will NEVER fly that particular jet again! One strike and it's out.

LetItShine, I am glad your faith brings you peace. I believe in g-d but I don't have the same peace you do when it comes to death. Wish I did.

I am petrified of death. Not what happens after because I do believe in an afterlife, and am enough of a realist to accept that if those beliefs are wrong, then there is nothingness. So 'after' is not a worry - it's the process of dying that scares me. Pain, worry, panic, suffering. No, no, no. It makes me feel sick. I try not to think of it.

+1

I feel this exact same way... I am relatively young (will turn 35 this year), but since I entered my 30s, I have been much more aware of my own mortality.

Of everyone who's posted on this thread, I think I'm closest to you guys, but minus the belief in the afterlife. I used to be unconventionally religious, and lost my faith a few years ago. Now? I think when we die, we're no longer in existence. And having had - compared to many of you in this thread, completely NOTHING, and I respect you all so much for sharing your stories - a few close calls since then, every time my first thought has been, "No, no yet, not ready." Especially since my son was born: I've done everything I can to set up a good situation for him, but having a mother and some friends who lost parents early on ... that doesn't seem to be the sort of thing people really ever recover from completely.

So! I am determined to do my best to stay here on in the best shape I can as long as possible, and when the end comes, I hope I will have attained the kind of peace and satisfaction SB describes. Don't get me wrong, I love my life! But if things were to end now, I think I'd feel bad (insofar as thinking about anything other than the whole "no, not yet, not ready" thing) about not having left more of a legacy. In grad school, I used to joke that if the only thing I left was a monograph some other academic 300 years in the future found handy, it'd all be worth it ... now, I want at least a little more than that.

Slip-cased volume?

So, anyway. No, I try not to think about it all that much, actually ... this is more thought than I've given it (on an empty stomach and a glass of wine, no less) in quite a while. Interesting s-of-c effect goin' on ....

Circe

That is the best we can hope for...peace and satisfaction at the end and perhaps a nice legacy for others to remember us by...but more than that I just hope I leave the world a bit better for being in it but I know that's a tall order...