Crushed

[justginger]

I can hardly think of the words to write this post.

I usually get up in the night to go to the bathroom, and check on the kittens as they are kept in the laundry at night. I did not last night. I was sick and slept all the way through.

DH got up this morning and found our runt, Trifecta, unresponsive on the floor. We scooped him up and raced to the local vet. I had him under my shirt, skin to skin, head tucked under my chin while I whispered encouragement at every breath he took. I could tell it was very, very bad.

The vet did what he could, but he passed within 30 minutes of arriving. We were told he had been leaking fluids and blood into his abdominal cavity for some time. Having taken him to another vet twice with abdominal concerns, it infuriates me. What a loss of precious life.

I took him home with me, telling him how very sorry I was. He will be buried under our frangipani tree with Doxy, our other kitten who passed after surgery 3 years ago - she is the one who made us start fostering.

There is a little kitten-parrot shaped hole in my heart.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh Ginger, I'm so so sorry to read this. PLEASE do not feel that this is your fault at all--Trifecta was lucky to have such a wonderful life with you. I know your heart is breaking, but take consolation in how wonderful a mother you were to him in his short time here.

 

[Okie_girl]

Oh Ginger....I know there are no words that will ease your pain right now. Hugs to you from across the miles.

 

[Rosebloom]

Oh dear Ginger! I can only imagine how awful you must feel. Please remember that you have done so much good and made his brief life so jolly. Those kittens are so fortunate to be in your care.

I'm so sorry.

 

[Mayk]

Oh Ginger...I'm so sorry.... in his short life he was loved more than most...thanks to you...

 

[SB621]

I'm sorry Ginger. You did an amazing thing with all those kittens. They were so lucky to have such a wonderful caring mama, I'm so sorry you lost one.

 

[TC1987]

Oh, how sad. Some of those kittens are just too fragile and they won't make it, regardless of what you do. I'm sorry for your loss. You gave Trifecta love and a good home, and a good life. RIP, little Trifecta.

 

[Maisie]

I'm so sorry for the loss of little Trifecta.

 

[ForteKitty]

Ginger, I'm so sorry.

 

[kenny]

Awwww.
I'm so sorry.
Poor little thing.

 

[iheartscience]

Oh no I am so sorry ginger. Please don't blame yourself-you did everything you could, and you gave her a fantastic life while she was with you. <3 <3 <3

 

[yssie]

Oh.. God.

I'm sorry Ginger. He's had a special place in your heart from the moment you got them...

So, so very sorry

 

[ihy138]

So sorry . Stay strong.

 

[Enerchi]

I'm sorry to hear this sad news. Bless you for all you did do for him.

 

[stargurl78]

So sorry justginger Please don't blame yourself, you do such a wonderful thing for these sweet furbabies. Sending hugs to you.

 

[justginger]

Thank you everyone for your compassion. I haven't lost a foster ever, so this is new territory. The thing that keeps sticking in my head, only to start the tears up again, was that even when he was non-responsive on my chest, struggling to take a breath, he managed to get out one tiny purr. He was such a happy, contented boy. I know he loved life and it hurts that I couldn't save him. I don't necessarily BLAME myself, but there are a few 'what ifs' floating through my mind. It was perhaps only the second night since they'd arrived that I didn't check on them during the night hours. He was completely normal when we went to bed around 10:30, and near death at 6 am. It shows how very quickly things can go downhill.

There are two others in the litter, maybe three, that I am now very worried about. They aren't as tiny as him, but have had the same constant abdominal upset, diarrhea to constipation and back again, eating and eating without gaining much weight. I immediately took them to the vet again (crying in the waiting room, how embarrassing) and explained what had just happened with Trifecta. The vet put them on treatment for toxo. I'm to see if they're showing signs of improvement in 5 days. I hope to God they do, I couldn't bear this experience again any time soon.

 

[Alexiszoe]

justginger,

I am so sorry little Trifecta was taken away from this earth prematurely I really enjoyed your updates and "watching" him bloom. You are doing something wonderful fostering these kitties, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of the kitties will get well soon.

 

[AGBF]

I'm very, very sorry.

Love,
Deb

 

[yssie]

Please keep us updated on how the other three do with the new treatment I've got all fingers and toes crossed for some quick weight gain!!

Taking them to the vet right after Trifecta passed must have been - I can't imagine how you must have felt I know it doesn't help at all right now, but thank you. For caring enough to care for them so dearly.

Tons and tons of ::HUGS:: to you and your DH.

 

[woofmama]

Oh Ginger I'm so sorry this happened. My eyes are filled with tears. Poor little guy. Bless you for taking such good care of him and his littermates. I hope the rest check out okay and thrive.

 

[JaneSmith]

Damnit. I am so sorry, your poor little kitty. Hugs.

 

[CJ2008]

Oh no, Ginger I am so sorry

I hope your other little ones end up being OK.

These kittens are so lucky to have you.

 

[CJ2008]

Double post

 

[kefira]

Oh, I'm so sorry, Ginger. You were so good to him and he was clearly grateful for your love. Hugs to you, your DH, and all the furbabies.

 

[CharmedOne]

I'm so sorry you lost your little guy. Its such a special thing you are doing for them. They are truly lucky to have someone like you to care for them. Tri has helped his little siblings so much. Now they have a chance to get healthy because of him. Knowing what to look for now, really gives them a chance and thankfully they showed signs while with you and not later down the road. I pray the meds work and that they are happy and healthy soon.

 

[asscher_girl]

Ginger I'm so sorry. You are such a good kitty mommy to those little kittens and you did everything you could. Prayers outgoing for you.

 

[VRBeauty]

I'm sorry, JG. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that your kitten surely felt your love. Huggz to you and your hubby, and hope that your other kitties will get better soon.

 

[LAJennifer]

Ginger, I am so, so, very sorry. I believe he passed a happy kitty. You gave him many wonderful days. He knew he was loved.

The fluid leaking sounds like it might have been FIP. And in that case, there was nothing you could have done. Hugs to you.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oh no... I'm so so so sorry Ginger... the pain you must be going through... I know he had a special place in your heart. I think he had a special place in all of our hearts. I know he did mine. He had a short life but think about how much better you made it. He was happy and warm and content even till the end while he was in your arms.

 

[distracts]

I'm so sorry! Poor wee little kitten.