Cat People - I really need some avice!

[Gypsy]

OP:

I've had cats all of my life...peeing on the floor is NOT normal. I've only ever had one cat pee inappropriately, and he was 15, stressed from a move, and in the first day in the new house and forgot where the box was and just couldn't quite get there fast enough. Protest poops next to a less than ideal litter, sure, but not peeing. Please take the cat to the vet. Don't assume it is stress. Most of the time that is not the problem. And please stop punishing it for being unwell or unhappy.

I also want you to know that I have hardwood floors and the cat is not an issue, and DH and I are both professionals who work long hours. Neither are my (uncovered) leather sofa/love seat. I do keep a table pad and cloth on the dining room table though just in case (but that goes for DH and me too with our plates). Most cats are not destructive if they are well cared for (attended to, played with, fed good quality food, have clean litter, and are medically examined if behaviour suddenly changes). Worst case scenario, hardwood floors can be sanded and refinished....but truthfully, most liquids wipe right up, and they are way easier than carpet to clean barf off of (the bigger risk with pets). For the carpet you may have in the house, a Bissel machine (even the small hand held ones) are your best friend. I have yet to come across a stain that mine did not get up. Pine sol, hot water, and a mop works well for wood. Please don't let family (who clearly hate cats) freak you out. The only pieces of real estate I have seen ruined were either from kids (toys on hardwood, bikes on hardwood, push toys on hardwood, crayon on walls, and diaper less child rearing pee stains), dogs (chewing, peeing, and funky wet dog smell), or hoarders (where the cat pee is the least of the issues). Normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems. I have sold each of my homes for way over asking, WITH cats. And mine have free run of the house.

It sounds to me like these are your DH's cats and that you are not, and may never have been, a fan. You may have to respect his love for them, even if you don't share it. These are living creatures who depend on you for everything, and deserve care. Think how you might feel if your family stopped wanting you if you got old, or sick, or stopped being able to function in the way that they wanted you to. Plus, if you decide to have children,the damage they will do to a home makes ANYTHING a cat can do pale in comparison.

So, first step is to the vet. Next step is to see what the cat needs (if it is not sick) that it is not getting now. Then you might want to see how it reacts in the new house. What you see now may not be how it is in a new environment.

 

[cmd2014]

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I've been a lurker for a while now (mainly in the non ER forums as I have been married going on 14 years now), and love seeing everyone's beautiful things.

I forgot to mention that a daily dose of OTC antihistamine (Reactine, Claritin, Zyrtec) does wonders for pet allergies. I'm 15 years and holding on one, with no adverse side effects. And I am swelling eyes, hivey skin, chronic sinusitis/asthma allergic if I don't take it. With it, I have no problem. As a side bonus, it helps with my pollen/dust mite/assorted other allergies too.

 

[momhappy]

OP:

I've had cats all of my life...peeing on the floor is NOT normal. I've only ever had one cat pee inappropriately, and he was 15, stressed from a move, and in the first day in the new house and forgot where the box was and just couldn't quite get there fast enough. Protest poops next to a less than ideal litter, sure, but not peeing. Please take the cat to the vet. Don't assume it is stress. Most of the time that is not the problem. And please stop punishing it for being unwell or unhappy.

I also want you to know that I have hardwood floors and the cat is not an issue, and DH and I are both professionals who work long hours. Neither are my (uncovered) leather sofa/love seat. I do keep a table pad and cloth on the dining room table though just in case (but that goes for DH and me too with our plates). Most cats are not destructive if they are well cared for (attended to, played with, fed good quality food, have clean litter, and are medically examined if behaviour suddenly changes). Worst case scenario, hardwood floors can be sanded and refinished....but truthfully, most liquids wipe right up, and they are way easier than carpet to clean barf off of (the bigger risk with pets). For the carpet you may have in the house, a Bissel machine (even the small hand held ones) are your best friend. I have yet to come across a stain that mine did not get up. Pine sol, hot water, and a mop works well for wood. Please don't let family (who clearly hate cats) freak you out. The only pieces of real estate I have seen ruined were either from kids (toys on hardwood, bikes on hardwood, push toys on hardwood, crayon on walls, and diaper less child rearing pee stains), dogs (chewing, peeing, and funky wet dog smell), or hoarders (where the cat pee is the least of the issues). Normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems. I have sold each of my homes for way over asking, WITH cats. And mine have free run of the house.

It sounds to me like these are your DH's cats and that you are not, and may never have been, a fan. You may have to respect his love for them, even if you don't share it. These are living creatures who depend on you for everything, and deserve care. Think how you might feel if your family stopped wanting you if you got old, or sick, or stopped being able to function in the way that they wanted you to. Plus, if you decide to have children,the damage they will do to a home makes ANYTHING a cat can do pale in comparison.

So, first step is to the vet. Next step is to see what the cat needs (if it is not sick) that it is not getting now. Then you might want to see how it reacts in the new house. What you see now may not be how it is in a new environment.

If normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems, then doesn't that imply that abnormal, irresponsible cat owners are the ones that do have these problems? After reading this thread, it would seem that there are plenty of normal, responsible cat owners here, but some of them still might have cats that urinate outside of a litter box. It sounds like there are any number of reasons why a cat might choose to urinate outside the liter box and only a few of them have to do with the owners themselves.
A cat urinating outside of a litter box may not necessarily ruin a home (although, I suppose some of that depends on what your definition of "ruined" is), but having to clean up pee on the floor all of the time certainly causes damage. If you have a cat that urinates outside of the litter box, I can't imagine a scenario in which a cat owner would have the ability to clean up 100% of cat urine 100% of the time. I would think that there exists the strong possibility that accidents go unseen sometimes. Also, cat urine is difficult to clean properly - the portion of cat urine that is water-soluble is easily removed with normal cleaning solutions (like the hot water & Pine Sol you mentioned), but that doesn't remove the stain entirely because the uric acid & salts in cat urine are not water-soluble and they are left behind in the form of invisible crystals (which is where the odor comes from).
I agree with you that cats are not the only things that can ruin a home - kids, dogs, fire, water damage/mold…. I'm certainly not reducing it to just cat owners. I think that people have different perspectives based on their own experiences. If you are used to living with cats (and their various issues), then you become somewhat desensitized to those issues. In other words, the smell of urine, the scratches in the woodwork, etc. may not bother you, but those things are still very obvious to outsiders who come in to your home. The same could be said for issues with dogs, kids, etc., so again, I'm not just picking on cat owners.

 

[NOYFB]

I think the OP's issue could be solved by a) taking the cat to the vet to determine if there's a medical issue going on, b) changing the type of cat litter used (experimentation is involved here), and c) making sure the box is clean. Cats are ingrained with the notion of using a litter box. Like I said before, they don't urinate outside of it to be *******s. The OP just needs to figure out what is going on with the cat and fix the issue, instead of resorting to rehoming it. I haven't seen any answers to the questions I've asked about the vet or the litter...which is leading me to believe that she really doesn't want to keep the cat and is looking for excuses to rehome it. I think that's why a lot of us are upset with this thread.

 

[Gypsy]

I think the OP's issue could be solved by a) taking the cat to the vet to determine if there's a medical issue going on, b) changing the type of cat litter used (experimentation is involved here), and c) making sure the box is clean. Cats are ingrained with the notion of using a litter box. Like I said before, they don't urinate outside of it to be *******s. The OP just needs to figure out what is going on with the cat and fix the issue, instead of resorting to rehoming it. I haven't seen any answers to the questions I've asked about the vet or the litter...which is leading me to believe that she really doesn't want to keep the cat and is looking for excuses to rehome it. I think that's why a lot of us are upset with this thread.

This.

 

[VRBeauty]

thanks MZ - this is helpful. I'll have to try Feliway and hopefully that'll help...Our cats haven't scratched any furniture which I've been so grateful for even though they still have their claws. We have tile in the bathrooms and in part of the basement and every where else that will be open to the cats is hardwood.

The oldest was neutered as soon as we got him because he immediately started spraying. It's possible he has some issue that we could find out from the vet.

The OP stated on the first page that she was open to options, and suggested that she would be taking the cat to the vet.

And then she got pounced on.

Then she stated again that she would be taking them to the vet:

We've scheduled a trip for both cats to go to the vet and I'm hoping something can be figured out.

And identified some other options she'd be looking into:

FYI. A Grade Marine Sealant is used on BOATS that are wooden. When properly applied to wood it makes it completely waterproof. /quote]

I sent our builder an email about this - if they could do it, that'd be awesome! I've never heard of it, but would definitely do it if we can. thanks!

Everyone that suggested 'Feliway' - thank you! I looked it up and it sounds exactly like something that could help our boy.... We'll ask the vet on her opinoins on this to when we go.

and still her motives get questioned.

If I were her I wouldn't bother to post further responses to this thread either. Just saying.

For the record, I've never taken in a cat and then given it away due to behavioral issues - and there have been behavioral issues. But I totally understand why some people might. And if it's done right - with either the owner of an intermediary (pet rescue/foster agency, or the SPCA, for example) screening the new home to make sure it's a good match - both the original owner and the pet will end up happier.

 

[CJ2008]

thanks MZ - this is helpful. I'll have to try Feliway and hopefully that'll help...Our cats haven't scratched any furniture which I've been so grateful for even though they still have their claws. We have tile in the bathrooms and in part of the basement and every where else that will be open to the cats is hardwood.

The oldest was neutered as soon as we got him because he immediately started spraying. It's possible he has some issue that we could find out from the vet.

The OP stated on the first page that she was open to options, and suggested that she would be taking the cat to the vet.

And then she got pounced on.

Then she stated again that she would be taking them to the vet:

We've scheduled a trip for both cats to go to the vet and I'm hoping something can be figured out.

And identified some other options she'd be looking into:

FYI. A Grade Marine Sealant is used on BOATS that are wooden. When properly applied to wood it makes it completely waterproof. /quote]

I sent our builder an email about this - if they could do it, that'd be awesome! I've never heard of it, but would definitely do it if we can. thanks!

Everyone that suggested 'Feliway' - thank you! I looked it up and it sounds exactly like something that could help our boy.... We'll ask the vet on her opinoins on this to when we go.

and still her motives get questioned.

If I were her I wouldn't bother to post further responses to this thread either. Just saying.

For the record, I've never taken in a cat and then given it away due to behavioral issues - and there have been behavioral issues. But I totally understand why some people might. And if it's done right - with either the owner of an intermediary (pet rescue/foster agency, or the SPCA, for example) screening the new home to make sure it's a good match - both the original owner and the pet will end up happier.

Funny, VR, I also thought to myself "wait, I thought she did say they'd go to the vet" and then went back and skimmed the original post but didn't see it...so then I thought that maybe I had just ASSUMED they had either already gone or were going to because of course that's an "easy" thing to try and rule out.

I must've read too quickly or maybe it was not in her original post but in the follow-up ones. I'm glad you found the instances where she says they will go to the vet...

I hope she does come back and post though.

 

[Gypsy]

momhappy, I shared this thread with my husband, who is a dog lover. He manages residential properties in the SF Bay Area. High income, luxury and high end housing. These are tenants who are in the ghetto (does that even exist in Nor Cal anymore), or are living on welfare, or anything like that. His company's policy is up to 3 cats and 3 dogs. One of the most liberal pet policies for housing around, so they get many pet owners. They charge pet rent per pet as well as pet deposits. For dogs there are breed restrictions against pit bulls and rottweilers and similar dogs are not allowed. He has managed a number of properties that have anywhere from 200-500 units. Over the last four years he has only had ONE apartment that was damaged due to a cat where they had to do more than shampoo the rugs (which they have to do anyway). There have been at least three dozen where he's had to replace carpets, walls and doors due to dog damage. And in this industry, which is, like most focused on making profits there are a LARGE number of properties that do not allow dogs at all, but will allow up to three cats because dogs are so destructive that even charging pet rent and pet deposits they cannot make a profit from dog owners. On top of that, dogs are destructive to the landscaping at properties, and even if you give then a grassy area to use, the grass dies and it turns into an unsightly mess.

This is not anecdotal evidence. It's industry fact from an industry that specializes in residential housing.

So while I realize your experiences are obviously valid, and that you have a particular aversion to cats... your feeling that cats are enormously destructive, and more so than dogs, is simply not true. If you are happy with your decision, and you feel you have done right by the animals in your life... then own it. You don't have to defend it to a bunch of people on the net by advocating for others to give their cats up.

 

[TC1987]

I just want to drop back in here to say that I do think it's possible to retrain a cat to go back to using the litterbox. That said, I want to inform you all that my shoes got peed on! Now, how did this happen? Well, it's my fault. I had a plumber here yesterday, so I shut my cats in a large bedroom with food, water, and litterbox. I thought all 4 of them were in there, but the female wasn't. She must have been hiding on a chair seat under the dining room table. She didn't have a litterbox for hours. So she used my shoes.

But I'll tel you why am pleased and why this is actually a win: This is the cat that had turned a corner of my mother's dining room into a litterbox, sans litterbox, while I was away at R.N. school. I have worked very hard to break her of that habit since then. She used to do a "deliberate" about twice a week when I got her back, and it's been kind of a long haul to get her to the point where I can trust her to always use the litterbox. The interesting thing is that, since she accidentally didn't have any litterbox for hours yesterday, she could have just peed anyplace on the floor, right? But she didn't. She found the only available container, my shoes. And they were on a tile floor, easy cleanup. And they (running shoes, old pair) caught most of the pee.

 

[CJ2008]

I just want to drop back in here to say that I do think it's possible to retrain a cat to go back to using the litterbox. That said, I want to inform you all that my shoes got peed on! Now, how did this happen? Well, it's my fault. I had a plumber here yesterday, so I shut my cats in a large bedroom with food, water, and litterbox. I thought all 4 of them were in there, but the female wasn't. She must have been hiding on a chair seat under the dining room table. She didn't have a litterbox for hours. So she used my shoes.

But I'll tel you why am pleased and why this is actually a win: This is the cat that had turned a corner of my mother's dining room into a litterbox, sans litterbox, while I was away at R.N. school. I have worked very hard to break her of that habit since then. She used to do a "deliberate" about twice a week when I got her back, and it's been kind of a long haul to get her to the point where I can trust her to always use the litterbox. The interesting thing is that, since she accidentally didn't have any litterbox for hours yesterday, she could have just peed anyplace on the floor, right? But she didn't. She found the only available container, my shoes. And they were on a tile floor, easy cleanup. And they (running shoes, old pair) caught most of the pee.

Yay!

Hope you gave her a big hug!

 

[Gypsy]

That is a great story! And well worth the cost of a new pair of shoes.

They are hard to keep track of sometimes right?

 

[zoebartlett]

VR, I agree with your post (too long to quote though). I'm not really surprised 04diamond didn't come back.

 

[momhappy]

momhappy, I shared this thread with my husband, who is a dog lover. He manages residential properties in the SF Bay Area. High income, luxury and high end housing. These are tenants who are in the ghetto (does that even exist in Nor Cal anymore), or are living on welfare, or anything like that. His company's policy is up to 3 cats and 3 dogs. One of the most liberal pet policies for housing around, so they get many pet owners. They charge pet rent per pet as well as pet deposits. For dogs there are breed restrictions against pit bulls and rottweilers and similar dogs are not allowed. He has managed a number of properties that have anywhere from 200-500 units. Over the last four years he has only had ONE apartment that was damaged due to a cat where they had to do more than shampoo the rugs (which they have to do anyway). There have been at least three dozen where he's had to replace carpets, walls and doors due to dog damage. And in this industry, which is, like most focused on making profits there are a LARGE number of properties that do not allow dogs at all, but will allow up to three cats because dogs are so destructive that even charging pet rent and pet deposits they cannot make a profit from dog owners. On top of that, dogs are destructive to the landscaping at properties, and even if you give then a grassy area to use, the grass dies and it turns into an unsightly mess.

This is not anecdotal evidence. It's industry fact from an industry that specializes in residential housing.

So while I realize your experiences are obviously valid, and that you have a particular aversion to cats... your feeling that cats are enormously destructive, and more so than dogs, is simply not true. If you are happy with your decision, and you feel you have done right by the animals in your life... then own it. You don't have to defend it to a bunch of people on the net by advocating for others to give their cats up.

You have made several statements about me and/or my opinions that simply aren't true.
I don't have an aversion to cats and I have posted that many times. Also, I have never posted anywhere in this thread that cats are enormously destructive. In fact, I posed the question about how common it was for cats to urinate outside of a litter box (because I was not under the impression that many cats engaged in this behavior). I posted my personal experiences as they related to this thread, but I also know lots of folks with cats that don't have this problem. I have been in complete agreement that there are any number of things that can destroy a property, including dogs, cats, children, etc. However, the issues in this thread are related to cats, so that's what all of us are addressing (in other words, we speak to the issues at hand, but that doesn't imply that it's the only issues at hand).
I'm not advocating for anything - outside of fairness for the OP. Some members have ignored her posts and she has been accused of making excuses. My point all along has been that while a cat urinating out of a litter box may be viewed as an excuse by some, for others, it is a valid reason to re-home a family pet. Some of us feel that a cat who routinely urinates out side of the litter box, can produce unsanitary living conditions . I say this out of personal experience from when my own cat was engaging in this behavior. If some cat owners are wiling to deal with the issue, that's fine too, but it shouldn't be assumed that it's ok for everyone.
It would appear as though my posts, much like OPs, are being twisted and picked apart into tiny bits and pieces based on what that particular member chooses to acknowledge. OP has shared her issues and has responded accordingly - yet people still judge her for a behavior (re-homing a pet) that she hasn't even engaged in (yet)...

 

[lulu]

As long as you're in the process of building this house you have some options. In both our Michigan and Florida homes we had the builder install a cat door from the laundry room to the garage and then build a box in the garage for the litter boxes. The box has a lino floor and a top on it so I can clean the boxes in the garage. Cats like having their own private space. And cat attract litter should help too.
Each cat should also have their own box.

I avoided carpeting in both houses. In Michigan the cats are out all day, so the litter isn't used much. In Florida they are strictly inside and I scoop 2-3 times daily and change the litter completely every week.

Feliway plug ins are also great for calming cats down in a stressful time.

 

[monarch64]

I am acutely aware of the level of love and passion people have for their pets. I think it's appropriate and important to advocate for animals and to try to make sure none are harmed through ill intent or neglect. It can be hard to give unbiased advice in these situations if you're so impassioned about the subject and it can be easy to read into something a poster who doesn't sound quite as passionate as us says.

I wish 04diamond all the best and hope for a positive outcome for her, her husband, and their cats. I don't think she wants to just get rid of the cats. I think she's looking for a way to make it work. My mom was really allergic to cats, but the stray that we took in when I was a kid, she named him, she spent nights up with him when he was sick, she took him to all his vet appointments (there were MANY), and I think she just became overwhelmed at times. OP sounds like my mom did at times when she was dealing with our wonderful kitty. Op never says that her DH is taking a hand in the situation, so I honestly have been wondering if she's just feeling overwhelmed and at the end of her rope. We've all been there over one thing or another in our lives. She turned to PS to ask for advice. I don't think she was necessarily looking for excuses to put the cats up for adoption. I think she's just a person who needs some help.

I wrote earlier in the thread that I had a cat who peed and pooped outside her box. I was maybe not the best cat owner in the world, but I did make every effort (and was pretty normal and pretty responsible) to provide my cat with a healthy environment and a happy life. I paid attention to signs that she was feeling neglected or unhappy, and in the end the right decision FOR THE CAT was for me to give her up. And I didn't say this before, but if I had not taken her in the first place when she was offered to me as a kitten, she would've ended up in a kill shelter, of that I'm 100% positive. So I look at it like this: I (unknowingly) fostered that cat for 5 years. She then went to her forever home which ended up being another owner even though I didn't know things would turn out that way. I am 110% ok with that.

I support an organization in my town (I am not able to give a lot, but I give what I can, when I can) that provides low-to-no-cost spaying and neutering. In my opinion, it starts there. I live in the center of farmland. Some of you would be flabbergasted at the way cats are treated on farms, the very farms some of your food comes from. They are nothing more than mousers, mostly feral, and allowed to breed without regard to population/disease. So before you get on your soapbox to someone who is obviously making an effort to treat her animals as beings, not devices that can benefit their business, think about that, because it might alter your perspective just a little. None of this is directed at any one person who's responded to the OP. It's a compilation of general thoughts I have on the matter.

 

[TC1987]

That is a great story! And well worth the cost of a new pair of shoes.

They are hard to keep track of sometimes right?

A black cat in a dark old house finds it pretty easy to become invisible except for the eyes, LOL.

I reclaimed the shoes. Soaked in a bucket of Tide + Odo-Ban 24 hrs, scrubbed with a brush, rinsed in a dilute beach solution, washed in the washing machine, sun-dried all day yesterday. I work in the chemical process industries, where there are worse hazards than a little cat pee. No harm done.

She is the 2nd black cat I've had. The first was a male. I think there's a black cat personality, and they kind of earned their reputation, and that's why there are superstitions about black cats, and not, say, brown tabbies. Not that a black cat is bad, but I've found both of mine to be strong personalities with definite likes/dislikes, and both were more independent and opinionated than my other colors. They like things their way, only. Sometimes I had to remind them who is alpha here.

My orange tabby is a big softy. He loves to cuddle. He is incredibly gentle and has never, in 12 years, bitten or scratched me, ever. He is timid with strangers. He rarely picks a fight with the other cats. But if they start something with him, he is huge, and he will win. He is also the self-appointed mouser and bug exterminator. He hates bugs or vermin in the house. He can do a 6' vertical leap and knock a wasp or fly out of the air. He used to actively catch mice that get into this old country house and gift them to me, but he lets the younger brown tabby do that now, mostly. Plus, I never appreciated any of the fine mice he gave me, and I threw them outside, so he just evades me whenever he has a mouse now. haha

My gray cat is an Oriental cross or a Russian Blue with an Oriental background. His build is Oriental with an apple head, his meow is all Siamese, and his intent is "World Domination." Aside from being extremely intelligent and bossy, and muscular like a snake, he's very loving and very territorial.

The brown tabby was dumped off here. He loves people, all people. And he's fearless. Not afraid of vacuum cleaners, carpet shampooers, or anything. He just wanted to be a house cat, and house cat he is. The no-drama cat.

I didn't pick pushover cats. I picked interesting ones.

 

[TC1987]

Followup: The red tabby who was spraying the baseboards and peeing on carpet had thyroid levels of 10, and also a heart murmur, but nothing else abnormal his bloodwork. No infection, no stones, no crystals, no obstructions no blood in the urine. Vets increased his dosage. So far, so good. Retest thyroid in a month. He lost 1# in 6 months, so I'm trying to get him to eat more. With his thyroid under better control, he's eating better and is using litterboxes again.

Queen Pee gets shut in a bedroom with a litterbox and her meal. She used the litterbox just fine, when the male cats aren't there to harass her. I leave her in there up to an hour, by herself. Problem solved.