Bad Parenting or harmless fun?

[kenny]

A mom takes lots of pics of her little boy crying, and publishes them on the Internet with captions of all the reason he cries.

Is this okay or not?

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com

 

[Rockdiamond]

I actually found it helpful.......having experienced quite a bit of same, knowing we're not alone.

 

[TooPatient]

I actually found it helpful.......having experienced quite a bit of same, knowing we're not alone.

Good point!

As long as the kid was crying anyway, why not take a picture? If the person was intentionally poking at the kid or something to make him cry, that would be different.

 

[iLander]

I actually found it helpful.......having experienced quite a bit of same, knowing we're not alone.

Exactly this.

My son was the same way, every little freaking thing was a screaming fit, until about 4 years of age. Not this little sniffly bit. Big deal, I can deal with that. It was the screaming, kicking, knocking stuff over, 3-4 times a day. I actually remember the day he first said "Yes" to something (about 3 1/2 years old). I was so overjoyed!!

Good lord he was a pain in the . . . I think, looking back, he might have had some form of Aspergers or Autism.

He's 28 now, married, and has a decent job. I'm amazed.

 

[kenny]

It is cruel to ridicule age-appropriate concerns as seen from adult's perspective, especially your own child's, especially ON THE INTERNET!
He's a little kid, for crissakes.

That kid will go to school some day and his peers will find this and use it to abuse him.
(It should be used to abuse if not prosecute the parent(s).)

Strikes me as revenge from a frustrated immature parent who should have used birth control, or masturbated to Internet **** instead of taking on the most important job on the planet.

 

[isaku5]

A mom takes lots of pics of her little boy crying, and publishes them on the Internet with captions of all the reason he cries.

Is this okay or not?

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com

Would you want your SO taking pictures of you crying and then posting them on the internet with the reasons?

 

[ForteKitty]

"It should be used to prosecute the parents"?

Wow, really? There are plenty of people who should have never become parents. I fully support sterilization of abusive parents.

However, I don't see any abuse here. The kid's full name isn't even used.

 

[JewelFreak]

All little kids cry. This isn't exposing something horribly shameful. I think he's adorable. I'm with iLander -- and he'll have plenty of company if he ever even notices this was up. By then, the internet won't exist -- we'll communicate some other way. This is a time to lighten up, imho.

--- Laurie

 

[JulieN]

He's a little kid, doing what little kids do.

It's no more harmful than posting pictures of one's cat in a box.

 

[AprilBaby]

No way anyone will recognize him by the time he gets to school.

 

[isaku5]

He's a little kid, doing what little kids do.

It's no more harmful than posting pictures of one's cat in a box.

So now a kid is like a cat in a box??

We had both kids while we were still in our 20's and yes they cried when they didn't get their own way. If this occurred in a grocery store, DH grabbed both kids and headed for the car while I finished the shopping.

We are now grandparents of two teenage beautiful girls and neither gives us attitude or tears when we're out. Even if they did, I wouldn't post their pictures ever. Are they better behaved than their parents were? You bet they are because of the generation gap.

 

[junebug17]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

 

[Rockdiamond]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

Or even old dads

 

[TooPatient]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

Well then I'm horrible too!

Of course if anyone ever did find these pictures when he is older and did make fun of him for doing what is normal at that age, I'm sure their parents would have books (or computers) full of similar pictures of them that they'd be happy to pull out and show them. Eh.
Nothing to be ashamed about. Not abusive.

 

[Laila619]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

Ditto. I found it to be funny and cute! There are plenty of bad parents, but this lady isn't one of them.

I can't help but wonder though if the kid cries so much because he's cold--put some CLOTHES on the little guy! He's in just a diaper in so many of the pics.

 

[junebug17]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

Or even old dads

Very true David!

 

[lyra]

I voted "other". On the surface, cute kid, funny meme. But I've been doing my own research into things like this, in particular, youtube moms. What you put online now, stays online forever. It can be harmful. One person might not suffer any repercussions. Another person imitating the same behaviour might be setting their family up for disaster.

It's questionably harmless to take the pics and show your immediate family and maybe close friends on facebook. Those pictures can still fall into the wrong hands. Maybe the kid gets teased later, maybe the pics are used by pedophiles or cyberstalkers or who knows who else. Printed pics in an album with captions are harmless. Too bad people aren't doing that much anymore.

 

[sphenequeen]

It is cruel to ridicule age-appropriate concerns as seen from adult's perspective, especially your own child's, especially ON THE INTERNET!
He's a little kid, for crissakes.

That kid will go to school some day and his peers will find this and use it to abuse him.
(It should be used to abuse if not prosecute the parent(s).)

Strikes me as revenge from a frustrated immature parent who should have used birth control, or masturbated to Internet **** instead of taking on the most important job on the planet.

I think that you may be overreacting and assuming far too much from all of this. I am sure that many parents can relate to this blogger and to the things that make kids cry - I know I did! Kids cry because they cannot cognitively understand WHY they are not getting their way (it is their inability to see the bigger picture and dangers that can come of things) and as you can see from his posts, the reasons his son cries are usually because he is trying to protect his child or make healthy decisions for him. Hence the irony, hence why it is funny!

 

[Rockdiamond]

I voted "other". On the surface, cute kid, funny meme. But I've been doing my own research into things like this, in particular, youtube moms. What you put online now, stays online forever. It can be harmful. One person might not suffer any repercussions. Another person imitating the same behaviour might be setting their family up for disaster.

It's questionably harmless to take the pics and show your immediate family and maybe close friends on facebook. Those pictures can still fall into the wrong hands. Maybe the kid gets teased later, maybe the pics are used by pedophiles or cyberstalkers or who knows who else. Printed pics in an album with captions are harmless. Too bad people aren't doing that much anymore.

That's such a great point.
I agree that there have been far too many cases of abuse posted on the internet- it's important imo to recognize how serious that is.
BUT- like just about everything else, there's a good side and a bad side to photos posted online.
If people get solace from photos, and no one is hurt, I think it's a pretty nice use of photos, on the cosmic karma side of things.

There's nothing in those photos that appears to be malicious in any way- I can't even imagine the kid involved being anything but amused if he sees it later in life. I'd love to see some photos of myself being cranky at that age.......of course JMO

 

[justginger]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

A big ditto from me. I think it's beyond adorable, he's a gorgeous boy and the captions are funny. His behavior, from all I've seen, is pretty normal. Sometimes if you can laugh at the frustration, it prevents you from getting angry and actually being a bad parent.

No one knows who the kid is, no one's going to tease him when he's 15. In fact, girls who see those photos are going to develop extra big crushes because he's so bloody cute!

 

[sphenequeen]

I guess I'm a horrible person because I think this is hysterical and that little guy is adorable! I think this could actually be comforting to young moms who are feeling a bit overwhelmed...let's them know they're not alone! I really don't see anything abusive about this at all. And I strongly doubt anyone will recognize him by the time he's in school - how would they even find these pics, or know it's him if they do? I might have missed it but no names are even given.

A big ditto from me. I think it's beyond adorable, he's a gorgeous boy and the captions are funny. His behavior, from all I've seen, is pretty normal. Sometimes if you can laugh at the frustration, it prevents you from getting angry and actually being a bad parent.

No one knows who the kid is, no one's going to tease him when he's 15. In fact, girls who see those photos are going to develop extra big crushes because he's so bloody cute!

Bingo!

 

[lyra]

No one knows who the kid is, no one's going to tease him when he's 15. In fact, girls who see those photos are going to develop extra big crushes because he's so bloody cute!

Unfortunately, if you look at the tumblr you will see the caption:

We mic’ed him up for Good Morning America.


People will find out who he is. It's so easy nowadays. I have seen a forum where people track down where other people live based on what seem like very subtle hints. It's a malicious gossip site I found referenced in a youtube video. People do actually torment other people online and it's incredible what they get away with, because the people doing the tormenting are from all over the world and across many jurisdictions. ETA: I do not participate in that gossip site, but I have stood up for some of the "victims", and have reported when and where I could.

 

[Circe]

I believe - she said, semi-apologetically - that it's the boy's father who started the tumblr, which somehow doesn't surprise me. Something about the tech-savvy and the lack of sympathy for an upset boy. I doubt there's an equivalent for a teary little girl.

I don't think it's a case for CPS - kids who are raped, beaten, drugged, and psychologically terrorized don't get the attention they need, for crissakes - but I do think it's a mistake. I won't post anything about a baby online: too many ways for it to be used against them, now or later. It feels like online bullying is getting worse, not better: I can't imagine what it'll be like in ten years.

 

[Dee*Jay]

I actually thought the captions were funny!

I could post a similar montage of The Demon barking:
- there is a squirrel out there
- there are TWO squirrels out there
- there are NO squirrels out there
- there is food in my bowl
- there is no food in my bowl
- you gave me food and now I don't want it in my bowl
- I can't find my brother Oscar
- my brother Oscar is right here with me
- Look mom, I just got muddy footprints from a walk in the rain all over your freshly mopped floor -- clean that mess up, willya?
- I'm a DOG and this is what I DO

Of course I'm being flip, and I AM NOT EQUATING A HUMAN CHILD WITH A DOG, but in instances where the being in question is not (or, in many instances based on the age he appears to be in the photos, is not capable of) communicating clearly with words, sometimes you have to figure out what's going on. And sometimes those things are amusing. Just like the silly things that people who CAN adequately communicate with words say are amusing.

Seriously, assuming no harm was done to the child to MAKE him cry (and absent any reason to think otherwise, I'm going to presume that's the case), I'm really not that spun up about it.

He seems to have adequate stuff (i.e., clothes -- not withstanding the diaper shots... maybe it was really hot out?, toys, etc.), he doesn't look malnourished, and I don't see any evidence of bruises or other physical abuse. I'm thinking the kid will probably be just fine over this.

 

[Polished]

You got to admit, she was goading him with some pretty brutal stuff! Running out of pretzels woman, what were you thinking. Although I can't for the life of me understand why he wasn't allowed to run naked through Times Square.

 

[CJ2008]

It's funny (I didn't bother to read the captions, but if they are at all like the ones Deejay wrote, they're funny) - but there's still something about it that rubs me the wrong way. Certainly if I was the child and I saw those when I was older I'd think my parents were a little bit aholes to do that.

 

[monarch64]

This is in line with my brother's sense of humor, which I may not agree with all the time, but I do find humorous. He took some pictures of my niece when she was just a newborn with crazy props (tequila bottles, hamburger buns) that were hilarious, but he never posted them on FB, probably because he wasn't a member of the site back then. He does all sorts of silly things, but he's a great parent to his daughter. Will she feel humiliated or be bullied about it later (he has posted some funny pics on FB in the past couple years of her dancing or in crazy outfits or making silly faces)? I don't know. If she is ever the target of bullying, I feel sorry for the bullies because hell hath no fury like that of a proud daddy (or mommy) whether they've intentionally or unintentionally exploited their children for their own personal benefit.

 

[Polished]

I'd probably be more concerned about the effect on a child to constantly (not saying that happened in this case) be photographed when he or she was upset, rather than what happened to the image afterwards. It never would have occurred to me to me to take a photo when one of our children were upset.

On a side note I remember reading about a child who used to bite carers who would smile at him. This was baffling until it was discovered that the child had had a mentally ill mother, who every time he was upset would laugh and smile at him, rather than respond in a way that addressed his need. He associated smiling and laughter with making him angry. Children do take in the way they are responded to.

 

[JewelFreak]

If this is the worst thing that kid will have to handle in his life, he's one lucky puppy. Who's gonna find it in 20 years? An employer? A mortgage company? Health insurance? Girlfriend? His name isn't on it. If it does turn up, what are people gonna say? "Oh, gosh, he cried when he was a baby!" So? First thing anyone would think is how fantastically cute he is.

His parents probably put those up because they feel a kinship with all parents of tiny kids & knew everyone could relate & get a chuckle. Guess I'm a soulless type too; I think it's kind of endearing.

--- Laurie

 

[princesss]

It's funny (I didn't bother to read the captions, but if they are at all like the ones Deejay wrote, they're funny) - but there's still something about it that rubs me the wrong way. Certainly if I was the child and I saw those when I was older I'd think my parents were a little bit aholes to do that.

Yeah - I thought it was really funny at first, but something about it seems...I dunno.

The dad that started it said (on GMA? In an interview with HONY?) that he started this as a way to keep from cluttering peoples newsfeeds and to just share with friends and family. He also said that taking a picture turned out to be the fastest way to distract the kid and keep them from crying.

I think what gets me is that it would be so easy to take a picture of the OBJECT or whatever making the kid cry (which I think would be hilarious - kind of Message In A Bottle-esque) with the caption. I think there are some interesting questions about consent as far as pictures of kids on the internet go, too. I mean, the parent has the right to consent for the child, but what if the child wishes it hadn't happened? I'd be mortified if some of the pictures my parents took of me were on the internet, ESPECIALLY if they'd become a meme.

I also think it says something interesting that when anything to do with parenting comes up, it's assumed to have been the mom that did it. The boys' dad started this, and yet every conversation I've read always includes assumptions that it's the mom that started the account. I know it's not exactly a shocker, but it makes me sad that "parenting" instantly equals "mother."