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A sad farewell

justginger

Ideal_Rock
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May 11, 2009
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My precious Filly joined our house last year as a foster, at 5 weeks old, trapped from an industrial area. His entire litter was unwell from the start, and many of you may remember them as the "Salmonella kittens." The runt of the litter was unable to survive the infection and passed just before Christmas. Filly was near death that same night, but an intervening 1:30a vet visit saved his life. I know many of you sent him dust for his recovery, which required 4x daily subcut fluid injections while his body fought off the infection.

He healed and found a niche in our home. He, solid black, was the pepper to his brother Exacta, solid white,'s salt. They were a matched set, a spicy combo that I couldn't let go of -- we foster failed with both of them. I made it official as of Nov 1, when I registered both of them under the new cat laws to our home.

A week ago I noticed Filly wasn't as rotund as he used to be. Monday night I noticed that I could actually feel his backbone and ribs very clearly. I watched him Tuesday, and saw him exhibiting classic symptoms of diabetes. I visited the vet first thing Wed, when he was admitted to their hospital for a gamut of tests, underweight, anorexic, lethargic, and ketotic. Every test we ran came back negative. His bloods showed nothing specific - inflammation, but who knew where?

I picked him up Friday night in a last ditch attempt to get him to eat, something it was obvious he stopped doing some time ago. I brought him home, pureed every cat-adored material in the house, and he would have no part of it. I could see his back legs were worse, he would stop frequently to rest just when walking from one side of our (very small) house to the other.

So back to the vet he went, to have a feeding tube inserted. This is the only regret I have. I hadn't seen him today, Saturday, or I would have elected not to have it done. I would have seen that it was of no use, and would only cause him pain. Alas, hindsight. I know now for the future. When the feeding tube was inserted, an ultrasound was done at the same time, revealing significant amounts of peritoneal fluid. Upon aspiration, it was easy to see it was an exudate, not a transudate.

Add in this critical finding with the fact that his globulins were very high, his lymphocytes were low, and his albumin was low, the combination suggested with ~98% sensitivity that he had FIP. FIP's mortality rate, depending on the source of information, is 98-100%. I picked him up tonight with the intention of allowing him to spend one last weekend at home, with a full belly, before being put to sleep.

We got home, and within half an hour I knew I had to intervene sooner. He was unable to take more than three steps without collapsing, and even his head strength was fading. At 7pm I phoned a mobile vet, and curled up with him in bed. She arrived at 9, and he passed away looking into my eyes. I know he could feel my heart, and all the emotions I have for him. I am devastated that I could not save him, but I am so grateful that I knew when to admit defeat. He will join his litter mate, Trifecta, that I lost last Christmas under the frangipani tree.

Thank you everyone for your good wishes over the last year for him. I am happy to have been given that second chance to enjoy him for as long as I did.

My little baby black monster


One last photo of us together.

lastfilly.jpg

_11990.jpg
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
Trade
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I am literally crying after reading your post. You were such a good Mommy to him. Thank you for your wonderful work with animals and being the kind of person who can open your heart and home to them.
 

Smith1942

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Oct 24, 2012
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2,594
Ginger, this has brought tears to my eyes. That last picture, and that he passed away looking into your eyes...gulp.

I am so, so sorry about his passing. What a beautiful cat. He's so lucky to have found you. Take comfort from the fact that you were really kind to him, and he was not alone at the end, and that you did everything you could for him. Oh, that last picture.

He's in Kitty Heaven now. He has huge balls of yarn to play with, saucers of warm milk that endlessly refill, and lots of other fluffy kittens to play with. He's happy and pain-free xxx
 

VRBeauty

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I'm so sorry. Thanks you for being such a good pet parent to Filly.
 

mary poppins

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So sorry to hear Filly passed away. He was so lucky to be adopted into your wonderful home and heart, and you were lucky to have him. Try not to second guess yourself regarding his health care at the end. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.
 

rosetta

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Jan 7, 2010
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3,417
Aw rest in peace Filly. I'm so sorry she had to leave you so soon ginger!
 

OreoRosies86

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Dec 25, 2012
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I have tears streaming down my cheeks right now. I am so sorry for your loss.
 

missy

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I am so sorry Ginger. You gave Filly everything you possibly could and most importantly love and comfort and you knew when to let go and let him be in a better place free from pain. Hugs to all of you. I know how painful this is. You did the right thing and while his life was too short you gave him the best possible life. And he knows he was loved. My Billy, Butch and Buster will be there for him at Rainbow bridge and take care of him... (((Hugs))).
 

movie zombie

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11,879
I too am crying.
while it is sad, it is also a story of love and hope: the love of a stranger for a kitten that did fight the odds and lived and loved for the time he had left because he was given a chance when many would not have given him that chance. it is the story of hope that someone would and was able to open her heart and take on a battle that really was against the odds. JG, you have my empathy.

RIP little black monster.
you will live forever in JG's heart.
 

House Cat

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Feb 22, 2009
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Oh JG,

I am so sorry. Thank you for taking such loving care of filly! Sending you love and healing.
 

JewelFreak

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He took with him to kitty heaven, Ginger, something that without you, he would never have had: knowledge of what it's like to be loved and to love back. That's the most valuable coin in the universe. I remember your posts about the litter & how hard you worked to save them -- Filly got to stick around longer, maybe because he needed more of the special nutrition you could give to his heart. He left you, not only with a full tummy, but a full soul - and I'm sure his legacy to you is the things he taught you. We learn from each of our animals & they make us better humans, each in his own way.

I always know that if I ever need heart surgery, they will be surprised to find, wrapped tightly around mine, a pile of beloved little 4-footed friends. You are the same. That's where Filly is now, snuggled up to your heart.

--- Laurie
 

movie zombie

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JewelFreak|1384627052|3557639 said:
He took with him to kitty heaven, Ginger, something that without you, he would never have had: knowledge of what it's like to be loved and to love back. ........--- Laurie

said so much better than what I wrote.
 

LLJsmom

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I am so sorry. :(( I am dreading the time which is coming soon for my boy too. (((Hugs...)))
 

kenny

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justginger|1384615803|3557572 said:
... he passed away looking into my eyes.

Oh, there's something in my eyes. ;(

Animals can't talk but at times the eye-contact says so much more than words.

I'm so sorry for your loss justginger.
 

AprilBaby

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So sad, I'm sorry...
 

vc10um

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Aug 22, 2009
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Oh ginger, I'm so so so sorry to hear of Filly's passing. You were exactly the mommy that precious kitten needed. He and Trifecta will be causing lots of trouble over the rainbow bridge, I'm sure. Sending you lots of hugs.
 

Mayk

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Feb 12, 2011
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So sorry Ginger... :(sad He was so lucky to be saved by you and loved. His short life was filled with love!
 

Ally T

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Ginger, I am crying reading this. And I echo Mayk - he was comfy, warm & loved by you until the end.....
 

Enerchi

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Oct 4, 2011
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Oh, JG, I am so very sorry you had to experience Filly's loss... you were an amazing kitty mom and did all that you could to give him a wonderful life... and a very peaceful passing.

I'm all choked up w tears after reading this. I hope you are doing ok... :((
 

isaku5

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Aug 15, 2005
Messages
3,296
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did your best to love and comfort him and this was his time to go. I have owned many kitties during my lifetime and it was harder to lose one of them than some of my relatives.

He's at peace, and I'm sure that if he could, he would thank you for taking such good care of him. :love:

My condolences to you and all who loved him.
 

PintoBean

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I am so sorry for your loss! ;( You are an amazing mama to your furbabies!
 

Rosebloom

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Im so sorry JG. What a heartbreaker. You were a wonderful caretaker of that sweet kitten.
 

JaneSmith

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Jun 11, 2012
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Damn it. This is so sad. I'm sorry for you JG. You are such a wonderful animal person, and this little kitty was lucky to have you love and take care of him. Hugs. :blackeye:
 

diamondseeker2006

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Jan 11, 2006
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I am so sorry, too, Ginger. As many others have said, your kitty had a wonderful life, even though it was a short one.
 

justginger

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May 11, 2009
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Thank you everyone for your kind words - I know so many of you know this pain too well. ;(

This morning was the worst. The four litter mates all sleep in one of the spare rooms together, a nightly thing that started when they were at the age that they would run amok and keep us up all night if not confined. Every morning they hear me get up, and assume their positions. Exacta and Quinella, the two whities, race out the door and straight to the food bowl as soon as it's cracked. Derby and Filly wait on a platform, right next to the door at head level for me to give them a pat. Then Derby jumps down to join the others at breakfast. Filly and I always stay where we are for our morning loving, 5 minutes or so for just the two of us.

I put the other three up last night, before the vet arrived. This morning I opened the door and for the first time ever, the whities didn't run to the food dish. Quinella and Derby both systematically walked around the entire house, calling for Filly (even when he had been away at the vets they didn't behave like this). They looked everywhere, even pawing at the closet door until I opened it to show them that it was empty. Exacta always was the most connected to Filly, he knew where to go immediately while the other two were searching. He went straight on my bed, sniffed around until he found the spot where Filly passed, and flopped on his back, rubbing his face and head all over the comforter. I just burst into tears, it was heart-wrenching to watch. The others joined him, and I took them into the spare room to have a sniff of the box he is in prior to being planted under the frang today. In the past I've always shown kitties their departed counterparts and they've seemingly not cared - just sniff and saunter off. I should have known better this time, with litter mates who have been together for 13 months. They needed to know what happened. How they knew he was actually gone, and not just at the vets, I have no idea.

So, I have some very clingy kitties today. That's a good thing, the cuddles are easy and frequent.
 
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