Was it worth it?

[NakedFinger]

Ok so I dont want to start fights or a debate, just want honest opinions from women who have just gone through it.....

For those of you who had a big wedding (meaning no eloping, or a DW with 10-25 people), and those who paid for it themselves (since you tend to have less buyers remorse when its someone elses money lol)....after all is said and done, was it worth it?

I have heard on more than one occasion, brides saying if they could do it all over again, they wouldnt have spent as much money on one day. Do you feel like that?

I am currently debating on whether to have a big wedding or a small destination wedding, and trying to decide if I want to blow $50k or more on a wedding. I love big weddings, I get paid to plan them, but now that its come time to plan my own, I''m deciding whether I should (I am paying for it myself).

If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

 

[elrohwen]

Yes, it was worth it. I hated wedding planning with a passion and I am very very glad it's over. However, the chance to spend the day with all of our friends, all in one place, was priceless. I had so much fun and am extremely glad I did it. There were definitely times when I wished we could elope, because, like I said, wedding planning was my least favorite thing, but I'm glad we didn't.

We paid for the entire thing ourselves and were very careful with our money. We're pretty cheap in general, so we cut a lot of corners, didn't care about a lot of things, etc. I might have regretted it if I had spent tons and tons of money, but we spent about $25k and I know that there was nothing we could have/would have cut out. If I had gone wedding crazy and spent a lot of money, yes, I would've regretted it. But like I said, I'm very good at cutting things out - we didn't get any flowers other than the extremely simple centerpieces included, we only had 75 people, my dress was only $1500 (which was a significant increase over my original $500 budget). I live near NYC and I know how much these things can cost, so overall I think we did a pretty good job. I absolutely would've regretted going all out though and spending money willy-nilly (or spent over $50k!

)

The people who were there made all the difference as well. I think if I had a wedding just for my family, where most of the guests were older aunts, uncles, etc, it wouldn't have been that much fun. Maybe I'm just not family oriented, but I'm usually bored at friends' weddings where the majority of the guests are over 45. The average age at our wedding was probably 28 - it was almost all friends and everybody was so fun. We didn't stop laughing the entire night. Many people have told us that it was the most fun they've had at a wedding.

eta: I think too many girls think that they need to spend tons and tons of money to have the wedding of their dreams. My advice is to think of it as a big party with your friends and family - not a wedding. There's way too much pressure to have the perfect flowers, the perfect cake, the $15k dress, etc. None of that stuff is worth it in the end. Pick one or two things that you love and try to do the rest of it for cheap. You won't have any less fun because you got the cheap centerpieces instead of the ridiculously expensive ones.

 

[Blair138]

For me it was definitely worth it, my wedding was not without family issues, but I would do it all over again the exact same way. We paid for it ourselves, but I had saved for years for it, so I was prepared and we didn't go into any debt over it. I really love begin around lots of people so for me I was comfortable and very happy, and DH was there so that was a bonus

ETA: It's all about what you like and want (and the person or people paying), some people can't imagine spending a large amount of money on something like a wedding, but I couldn't imagine skimping and not doing what I wanted. I didn't go overboard but I didn't leave out anything I wanted and it was gorgeous and so much fun!

 

[zoebartlett]

Honestly if we had paid for everything ourselves, we would have saved quite a bit of money and probably had a smaller wedding. I loved the location of our wedding, so I wouldn''t change that. My husband and I paid for quite a bit of our wedding but my parents paid the majority of the expenses. His parents chipped in some too. I can''t remember what the total cost was after everything was added up, but I do know that we saved where we could. I wouldn''t say that our wedding was ridiculously expensive, but it''s a lot to thrown down for one day. On the other hand, hopefully you only get married once, and you want it to be a special day.

I can say that I definitely wouldn''t spend anywhere close to $50k on a wedding, but I know in some parts of the country, that might be considered average. This is just my opinion, but I would rather spend, say, half that amount and use the rest for something else or put it in savings.

 

[FrekeChild]

To me, it was worth it. I''m one of those with a 22 person DW, but I didn''t really hold back expenses. I also didn''t pay for it (Thanks Dad!). Our meal was $3,600 (and we had the dessert course comped, so it should have been more), the wedding chapel package was $3,500, my hair, dress, makeup, accessories were about $1,900, we lived it up in a suite all week, etc. I think total it was probably somewhere around the $20k mark.

And from what I can tell, it was worth it to my dad as well. Had we had our wedding here in town it would have been a 250 person affair, and cost probably $75k instead. Normally if he has a problem with the price, he will complain forever about it. Not only has he not complained, but he has taken the time out to talk about how wonderful it was, and how great the food was.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

It was worth it having all our family in the same room and seeing the actual joining of the families. Had a great party, was really fun. However, another part of me wishes we had eloped and done something more intimate. I figure we''ll do something like that to renew our vows on vacation someday or something

 

[KatyWI]

Worth *every* penny.

And I have an alarmingly low amount of savings right now, partly because of the wedding. But it was the best day of my life, bar none. I loved every single second of that day.

(Erm, for reference, it was 90 people in a palace style theater with a live band and phenomenal food, and the dress and photographer of my dreams.)

 

[zoebartlett]

I just read through my post again, and I don''t want to sound like it wasn''t worth it to have our wedding. We loved it and it meant so much to have everyone there and celebrate the way we did.

Having said that, my husband and I are typically quiet people who avoid having attention on ourselves, so it was hard to come to terms with being in the spotlight. When we first began planning, I wasn''t even planning on wearing a wedding dress (just a simple nice dress instead), but in the end I was in a strapless lace gown. Yes, I felt pretty, but totally out of my element, if that makes sense. I think my husband felt the same way in his tux. We also wanted to do a casual brunch reception without dancing, but my parents and the wedding coordinator at our venue (a restaurant) nixed those ideas. I think there was probably about 120 guests at our wedding. It was somewhere right around there anyway. I know this doesn''t directly address your questions, NF, but I wanted to expand on my previous post. I''m rambling...

If I was debating whether to do a big wedding or a small DW, I''d choose the small DW. I guess it would depend on, in part, how many people you''d want to invite and celebrate with you. I can see how you must love big weddings (being a wedding planner and all), but maybe it might be fun to do something totally different for your own wedding.

I''m not sure if this even helped. I feel like I''m talking in circles now, so I''ll stop.

 

[emeraldlover1]

It was totally worth it. I loved every minute of the planning and every minute of the wedding. We paid for the wedding ourselves and were totally happy spending the money for two reasons. The first being that we could afford it. The second being that the money was planned and saved for the purpose of the wedding. Had we not budgeted well and had to tap into additional funds then I may have regretted some of it.

 

[Octavia]

Yes and no. For various reasons, I had a pretty awful week leading up to the wedding, so when I think back to the wedding, there's a lot of stress involved even though the day itself was wonderful. It would certainly have been easier to have done a smaller wedding, and of course we'd be financially better off if we'd spent less money (my parents chipped in about 1/4 of the costs, DH and I paid the rest ourselves). It was nice to have family and friends with us on our wedding day, and I don't think I'd want to give that up if I could do it again. But I certainly would have worked harder to cut costs, probably would have made different vendor choices, and would have changed the date to make things less stressful. While the amount of money we spent isn't the thing I most regret, if given the chance to go back, I certainly would have spent less if I could have.

 

[Haven]

My parents paid for our wedding, but I feel I still have valid opinions on this issue that may help.

My answer to your question is: yes and no.

There were some things we spent far too much money on, and if we were to do it again, I would have completely changed those things. There were other things that were splurges but felt worth it, anyway.

I will say that since my parents paid, we had a more traditional wedding. Had they not insisted on paying for it, we would have probably had a very laid-back wedding outdoors in a park or somewhere. Instead, we ended up having a very formal daytime wedding in my family's synagogue. I loved our wedding, and everything about the day, but we did conform to a lot of our parents' desires for the *type* of wedding we had because they were hosting it.

Things that weren't worth it:
- The very expensive eight (or was it nine?) piece band. They were wonderful, but I imagine a less expensive alternative could have been just as nice.
- The venue. We held the reception in my synagogue's new social hall. It meant a lot to my parents, who are far more into religion than we are, and as it was brand new and overlooked a beautiful wooded area near the lake, it was a nice place. HOWEVER, we had to pay to rent everything from the dance floor, the chairs and tables, right down to the silverware. All of those rentals really added up and I think we overspent to have it at that venue.
- The flowers. We didn't need to spend what we spent on flowers, I just didn't do the research I should have done to save some money.
- The linens. I don't even remember what they were, but I remember that we chose some option that was more expensive than some other option because we thought they would look a touch better.
- The caterer. We had amazing food, and people raved about it for a long time after our wedding. However, now that I see what it cost per person to feed our loved ones, I can't believe we made that choice.

Things that were worth it:
- The engraved invitations. This was something I had always wanted and envisioned having. (Had we done the laid-back wedding, though, we wouldn't have had such formal invites, of course.)
- My dress and veil. They were really a lot of money, but I have to tell you, I felt more wonderful and beautiful and happy than I have ever felt while wearing them.
- Our ketubah, which is a Jewish marriage contract. We commissioned an artist in Israel to create our ketubah, and while it was very expensive, it is the most beautiful thing we have in our home and I get warm fuzzies thinking back on the day every time I see it.

The wedding cost around $35,000 total in the end. It was a formal daytime wedding on the 4th of July, which was a Friday. $35,000 is an enormous amount of money to spend on a one day event. It's more than the salary I earned for a year's worth of work my first year out of college, so now that I look back on it, I feel that we were very frivolous.

Okay, I'm going to amend my answer:
Yes. I think we spent too much money on our wedding. I think we had no business allowing my parents to spend that much on it, and I wish we had been more firm with them and insisted on having the laid-back, semi-formal wedding that we would have had if we had hosted it ourselves. Not that I didn't love our wedding, it just was an awful lot of pomp for one day.

 

[Lilac]

Our wedding day was the best day of my life and our wedding was unbelievably fun and beautiful. However, it was also an incredible waste of money. It wasn''t our money (although if it had been our money, we DEFINITELY would have had a much smaller and much less expensive wedding because we would have had more control over it and therefore would have chosen things that didn''t cost as much).

My parents paid for our wedding and all in all it was probably a little over $100,000 and we had over 500 guests. 80 of those guests were friends of DH and myself - the other 410 or so were family, extended family, and our parents'' friends. My parents pretty much chose everything (the band, the flowers, the photographer, the caterer/food) - which I didn''t mind because I wasn''t really into all the wedding planning - I just wanted to be married to my husband. Whenever I was asked for my opinion I told them to do whatever cost the least. I found it to be crazy to spend that much money on one day (especially when I would have been just as happy with a wedding half the size and less than half the cost) but my parents *wanted* to spend the money so therefore they got to make all the choices.

The wedding was truly beautiful and I am so grateful to my parents for planning it and paying for it. They were happy they were able to give that to me and to DH and they were happy they got to choose things they liked for it (and I was happy I didn''t have to pay for it and didn''t have to deal with wedding planning and decision-making!) If it had been my money and DH''s money though, I absolutely would not have spent anywhere near that much because I DO feel it can turn into a huge waste of money and I think it can be just as nice and special if it''s smaller and less expensive.

My parents don''t seem to regret spending the money though - they enjoyed the wedding immensely and had a wonderful time. Looking back on it we all have really great memories and I don''t think they regret it at all.

 

[Elmorton]

Our parents paid for our wedding too, so I can''t really tell you what it''s like to pay for it yourself. But I can share my thoughts from my point of view - I had two weddings, one with 100+ guests in a beautiful location/reception venue with dinner, dancing, etc, and the other was a small, casual affair at the church I grew up in.

Honestly, if DH and I had to pay for it, I think we would have done what our second wedding was - at our home church on a Sunday afternoon, minimal flowers, cake and punch, maid of honor, best man (they wore whatever they felt like), and homemade invitations to less than 50 people. Wedding #2 probably cost around $1k (not including my dress/DH''s suit), and it was a lovely wedding with the same joy that DH had for the larger wedding day.

As much as I loved my first wedding day - it was without a doubt the best day of my life - I would choose to start my marriage without a huge financial blow rather than having a large wedding.

 

[meresal]

My parents paid for ours... however...

At the end of the night my DH and I wouldn''t have had it ANY other way. We had the time of our lives and it will forever be the most incredible and fun night of our lives. We will never be able to get all of those people at one party for an entire night, and we loved the entire thing!


If we had to pay for it ourselves, and had the excess funds to host such a lavish weekend, we would have done the same thing. No questions asked.

FWIW, my DH and I had the option of taking the money to buy a house or having a huge wedding... and even now, in the middle of building our house, it has never crossed our minds that we wish we had the extra money.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

My parents paid for our wedding and DH and I paid for our clothes, travel, rings, honeymoon, travel for his family, apparel for the jr. attendants, nd a bunch of misc things.

My parents paid around $9,000-10,000 and we paid about $7500.

We had a pretty big wedding (invited 300--mostly out of town guests and with only 6 weeks notice

150 came and it was amazing. We worked really hard to keep the costs down, but were happy that it was possible for us to help alleviate travel and clothing expenses for family for whom it would have been tight.

It was an amazing day and we wouldn''t have changed a thing.

This was the top limit of what we were comfortable spending. It was/is a ton of money for us, but it was worth it. I think you should spend what you are comfortable with on the wedding. I definitely wouldn''t go into significant debt for it, or spend to a level that stresses you out, but I think it is worth spending some money on a wedding to have a special celebration

If you have $50K to comfortably spend on it then go for it, if not then set an amount you are comfortable with and spend that. The budget doesn''t have to dictate the size of your wedding

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/13/2010 11:27:54 AM
Author:NakedFinger
Ok so I dont want to start fights or a debate, just want honest opinions from women who have just gone through it.....

For those of you who had a big wedding (meaning no eloping, or a DW with 10-25 people), and those who paid for it themselves (since you tend to have less buyers remorse when its someone elses money lol)....after all is said and done, was it worth it?

I have heard on more than one occasion, brides saying if they could do it all over again, they wouldnt have spent as much money on one day. Do you feel like that?

I am currently debating on whether to have a big wedding or a small destination wedding, and trying to decide if I want to blow $50k or more on a wedding. I love big weddings, I get paid to plan them, but now that its come time to plan my own, I''m deciding whether I should (I am paying for it myself).

If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

i would prefer to spent $50k on a diamond.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/13/2010 7:05:00 PM
Author: Lilac
The wedding was truly beautiful and I am so grateful to my parents for planning it and paying for it. They were happy they were able to give that to me and to DH and they were happy they got to choose things they liked for it (and I was happy I didn''t have to pay for it and didn''t have to deal with wedding planning and decision-making!) If it had been my money and DH''s money though, I absolutely would not have spent anywhere near that much because I DO feel it can turn into a huge waste of money and I think it can be just as nice and special if it''s smaller and less expensive.

My parents don''t seem to regret spending the money though - they enjoyed the wedding immensely and had a wonderful time. Looking back on it we all have really great memories and I don''t think they regret it at all.

so nice to have rich parents.

 

[Lynnie]

We paid for our wedding for 120 guests. MIL gave us $1000.
We cut costs as much as possible, and ended up spending about 16K total.
Totally worth it. We spent as much as we could afford, and didn''t go into debt.

Being a wedding planner, you probably have a lot of hook-ups, right? Use them to your advantage... my mom works at a florist, and we got majorly hooked up for flowers.

The only thing I would''ve changed is sprung for a makeup artist. And maybe done a hair trial. But those were things I chose to cut to save costs... and staying under budget trumped, yanno?

 

[Lilac]

Date: 2/14/2010 4:40:29 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/13/2010 7:05:00 PM

Author: Lilac

The wedding was truly beautiful and I am so grateful to my parents for planning it and paying for it. They were happy they were able to give that to me and to DH and they were happy they got to choose things they liked for it (and I was happy I didn''t have to pay for it and didn''t have to deal with wedding planning and decision-making!) If it had been my money and DH''s money though, I absolutely would not have spent anywhere near that much because I DO feel it can turn into a huge waste of money and I think it can be just as nice and special if it''s smaller and less expensive.


My parents don''t seem to regret spending the money though - they enjoyed the wedding immensely and had a wonderful time. Looking back on it we all have really great memories and I don''t think they regret it at all.

so nice to have rich parents.

Just because they were able to afford to pay for our wedding doesn''t mean they''re rich. They saved money for 20 years for it, and it''s two sets of parents (4 people) because my parents are divorced and both remarried. I don''t think you should make such assumptions without knowing more information. Plenty of peoples'' parents help them pay for their weddings (or cover the cost entirely) and it doesn''t make them all "rich".

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 2/13/2010 12:27:18 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Honestly if we had paid for everything ourselves, we would have saved quite a bit of money and probably had a smaller wedding. I loved the location of our wedding, so I wouldn't change that. My husband and I paid for quite a bit of our wedding but my parents paid the majority of the expenses. His parents chipped in some too. I can't remember what the total cost was after everything was added up, but I do know that we saved where we could. I wouldn't say that our wedding was ridiculously expensive, but it's a lot to thrown down for one day. On the other hand, hopefully you only get married once, and you want it to be a special day.


I can say that I definitely wouldn't spend anywhere close to $50k on a wedding, but I know in some parts of the country, that might be considered average. This is just my opinion, but I would rather spend, say, half that amount and use the rest for something else or put it in savings.

Yeah. Unfortunately, $50k is a modest amount in NJ/NYC. I dont know if realistically I could do it for less, which is why I am using that as my estimate. Doesn't help that I am surrounded by 6-figure weddings so thats what I compare everything to. Booo

BTW Zoe you are hilarious. lol. You're not rambling and make perfect sense. My FI is actually the same as you and your DH. He is very shy, and doesnt NOT like being the center of attention. I know he would rather it be low key for that reason.

 

[NakedFinger]

Thank you ladies for all of your replies. Its so nice to hear different perspective from everyone. One thing I've noticed, is a lot of you said it was worth it because you were able to celebrate with your family. Which I definitely agree with. Thats why, if we did a destination wedding, it would be immediate family: parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, and cousins. My estimate would be about 40 people. So we would still have the important people there, just not several hundred. I definitely want to celebrate with everyone and have a good time, just trying to decide if I am prepared to blow the money on the big wedding here (which for me, can get out of hand very easily lol). The plus side is, we already have a house, so I dont need to save for a down payment or anything, just renovated our house (so dont need money for that), and student loans are paid off and I dont have credit card debt. So I am thinking I have no reason not to spend a lot of money on the wedding, its just a matter of whether I want to I guess and whether its worth it.

 

[cocolaw]

I think it was worth it! If I were you, I would plan the wedding that would make me happy, without thinking too much about what else you could do with the money. You have the rest of your life to earn money, and I don''t really think an extra 20K makes that much of a difference in the long run. This is one of the most important days of your life and you don''t want to have any regrets!! We had a small wedding because I never wanted a big wedding-I just wanted something nice and I thought that we would luck out and it would be a lot cheaper that way.....it was cheaper I think, but still ended up being about 600 a person. It was perfect for us, really beautiful to us and worth it. Having something smaller might not necessarily be that much cheaper...so have what you want! If it''s a big wedding that you want then go for it!

 

[megumic]

Date: 2/14/2010 9:48:17 AM
Author: NakedFinger

Date: 2/13/2010 12:27:18 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Honestly if we had paid for everything ourselves, we would have saved quite a bit of money and probably had a smaller wedding. I loved the location of our wedding, so I wouldn''t change that. My husband and I paid for quite a bit of our wedding but my parents paid the majority of the expenses. His parents chipped in some too. I can''t remember what the total cost was after everything was added up, but I do know that we saved where we could. I wouldn''t say that our wedding was ridiculously expensive, but it''s a lot to thrown down for one day. On the other hand, hopefully you only get married once, and you want it to be a special day.


I can say that I definitely wouldn''t spend anywhere close to $50k on a wedding, but I know in some parts of the country, that might be considered average. This is just my opinion, but I would rather spend, say, half that amount and use the rest for something else or put it in savings.

Yeah. Unfortunately, $50k is a modest amount in NJ/NYC. I dont know if realistically I could do it for less, which is why I am using that as my estimate. Doesn''t help that I am surrounded by 6-figure weddings so thats what I compare everything to. Booo

BTW Zoe you are hilarious. lol. You''re not rambling and make perfect sense. My FI is actually the same as you and your DH. He is very shy, and doesnt NOT like being the center of attention. I know he would rather it be low key for that reason.

NakedFinger, I don''t think this is true at all. Perhaps in NYC it might be a different story, but I am from a very nice area of NJ and we have planned a wedding for less than $40k. While I''m sure it''s particular to each person and their needs/wants, I personally don''t think $50k is a modest wedding budget by any stretch of the imagination. I know it''s tough to not compare to everyone else, but in the interest of having a day you won''t regret either dropping your life savings on or going into debt for, maybe just stop comparing and start planning a day that fits with your financial situation.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 2/14/2010 11:20:56 AM
Author: megumic

NakedFinger, I don't think this is true at all. Perhaps in NYC it might be a different story, but I am from a very nice area of NJ and we have planned a wedding for less than $40k. While I'm sure it's particular to each person and their needs/wants, I personally don't think $50k is a modest wedding budget by any stretch of the imagination. I know it's tough to not compare to everyone else, but in the interest of having a day you won't regret either dropping your life savings on or going into debt for, maybe just stop comparing and start planning a day that fits with your financial situation.

Oh yeah, sorry I should clarify....I'd prefer to do it in the city. Thats where I work, thats where the vendors I know are, etc. I could probably pull it off for less in NJ. Maybe its possible, I think just based on me personally its going to be hard to do! lol

(I know whats out there, I know what can be done, and that's my issue) Financially, I can afford to do more. That's not my primary concern; its more deciding whether I want to spend that on one night I guess.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

NF-You can totally do a great wedding in NYC for way less than $50K. Before we decided to get married in PA and my parents and I had the budget convo, I had planned our wedding for 120 people in NYC for $10K--gorgeous flowers--mostly orchids, amazing food, reception in a private room at a restaurant, wedding ceremony in Central Park...if you''re creative which you are, and have hook-ups which you do, you can really think outside the box and do something great as a big wedding for much less than $50K.

 

[iloveny]

Naked Finger- since you are an event planner I''m sure you know much more about the ins and outs of weddings in NYC than I do, but I did get married in NYC last year, and it cost about 10K. We only had 25 guests, and like Bella Mezzo said, we did it in Central Park, and had a dinner after for everyone on restaurant row. We also had a rehearsal dinner the night before for all of our guests. If you just wanted to invite the 40 or so people that you would invite if you were doing a destination wedding, there are plenty of ways to do a nice event in NYC for much less than 50K. But I''m sure you must know that, and you probably have a more sophisticated vision than I did, since you work as an event planner! My only advice would be to make the day about celebrating the love between you and your Fiance. If that''s a small event, or a big shebang, just figure out what YOU GUYS want. Good luck to you!

 

[Dancing Fire]

my niece had an expensive wedding and the party (i mean their marriage

) was over within 10 months

what a complete waste of money.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/14/2010 6:26:14 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
my niece had an expensive wedding and the party (i mean their marriage

) was over within 10 months

what a complete waste of money.

Wouldn't life be fun if we all lived with this lovely thought in the back of our minds...

ETA:
NF- It soudns like the wedding you would have would be $50k. (ie, use your favorite vendors, your favorite venues, etc.) Obviously a wedding can be done for less.

We were torn between a DW and a lavish wedding here. When you look into the costs of flying everyone to the DW and loding them, it will cost the exact same or more to pull off.
If you weren't planning on paying for people to travel, then you can be sure that many of your family members will not pay to travel there. Though the DW is what you want, lots of people don't want to use their vacation time on someone else. Just a fact of life. By leaving the country, you will lose out on being able to celebrate with a few, if not many, of those people you wanted to be around.

That's how ours would have been anyway. You just have to decide what is most important to you and your FI. Planning is tough and you know that... you and FI need to decide what would be best for you both as a couple and what will make the two of you happiest.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/14/2010 9:30:06 AM
Author: Lilac

Date: 2/14/2010 4:40:29 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/13/2010 7:05:00 PM
Author: Lilac
The wedding was truly beautiful and I am so grateful to my parents for planning it and paying for it. They were happy they were able to give that to me and to DH and they were happy they got to choose things they liked for it (and I was happy I didn''t have to pay for it and didn''t have to deal with wedding planning and decision-making!) If it had been my money and DH''s money though, I absolutely would not have spent anywhere near that much because I DO feel it can turn into a huge waste of money and I think it can be just as nice and special if it''s smaller and less expensive.

My parents don''t seem to regret spending the money though - they enjoyed the wedding immensely and had a wonderful time. Looking back on it we all have really great memories and I don''t think they regret it at all.

so nice to have rich parents.

Just because they were able to afford to pay for our wedding doesn''t mean they''re rich. They saved money for 20 years for it, and it''s two sets of parents (4 people) because my parents are divorced and both remarried. I don''t think you should make such assumptions without knowing more information. Plenty of peoples'' parents help them pay for their weddings (or cover the cost entirely) and it doesn''t make them all ''rich''.

Just ignore him Lilac. He''s totally not worth it. If anything, I''d make a really smart@$$ comment back, but really. He''s just trying to get a rise out of you. Because he''s a little

man.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 2/14/2010 11:04:35 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 2/14/2010 9:30:06 AM

Author: Lilac

Date: 2/14/2010 4:40:29 AM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/13/2010 7:05:00 PM

Author: Lilac

The wedding was truly beautiful and I am so grateful to my parents for planning it and paying for it. They were happy they were able to give that to me and to DH and they were happy they got to choose things they liked for it (and I was happy I didn''t have to pay for it and didn''t have to deal with wedding planning and decision-making!) If it had been my money and DH''s money though, I absolutely would not have spent anywhere near that much because I DO feel it can turn into a huge waste of money and I think it can be just as nice and special if it''s smaller and less expensive.

My parents don''t seem to regret spending the money though - they enjoyed the wedding immensely and had a wonderful time. Looking back on it we all have really great memories and I don''t think they regret it at all.

so nice to have rich parents.

Just because they were able to afford to pay for our wedding doesn''t mean they''re rich. They saved money for 20 years for it, and it''s two sets of parents (4 people) because my parents are divorced and both remarried. I don''t think you should make such assumptions without knowing more information. Plenty of peoples'' parents help them pay for their weddings (or cover the cost entirely) and it doesn''t make them all ''rich''.

Just ignore him Lilac. He''s totally not worth it. If anything, I''d make a really smart@$$ comment back, but really. He''s just trying to get a rise out of you. Because he''s a little

man.

Wise advice. I''ll take it