Thoughts on the backpack harness?

[fieryred33143]

We are going to Disney in a few weeks with friends. I wanted to get one for Sophia. It'll be a long day and she's been protesting her stroller lately so I'd like for her to walk around. The problem is that she is just now figuring out how to walk and isn't too secure. Plus, there are a lot of people at Disney so I don't feel comfortable having her wobbling around the park.

What are your thoughts? And if you have one, do you like it? Does it work?

 

[Jennifer W]

I love these! Like leashes, but cuddly and therefore much more humane looking!

Seriously, I wouldn't hesitate to get one - we use it all the time. I like that A can have her freedom and not be stuck in a stroller, but still be safe and we don't have to worry about her seeing something interesting and making a break for it. She's not great at holding our hands when we're out unless she wants to.

My problem at the moment is that I cannot persuade her to leave the house without her backpack. Even a stroll to the end of the garden will result in a meltdown if I try to suggest we could leave it off. She loves that thing.

My other suggestion for something like a trip to Disney would be a backpack for the parent, that you put the kid into. We have one of them and it's a life-saver sometimes. A loves being up high in it, DH hauls it around and I can stroll unencumbered around interesting places. It's great for a long day in a busy place and she can see more stuff than is generally visible from toddler height. If we
go somewhere for the day, we tend to take her backpack harness, then put her in the backpack carrier when she gets tired or bored for a whine-free continuation of the event.

Jen

 

[fieryred33143]

I like that idea! Which do you suggest?

That'll actually work really well when we're standing in those long lines. They make you leave your stroller at the entrance and I can already see her trying to either sit on the floor or crawl around.

 

[meresal]

Nope. Can't do it.

Also, this doesn't keep the kid from walking off... just from walking too far. I have tripped over one of these ropes before and almost broke my wrist. The kid was attached to his stoller, so the strap was at about knee level for me.
I hate that b/c of these things, some parents stop watching where their kid is going. (Or maybe it's my fault for not noticing a black strap crossing my path in the middle of a crowded mall... )

ETA: Fiery... do you have a stroller that has a standing option?

 

[fieryred33143]

Mere-I do not (re: the stroller).

I'm not too worried about her walking off but more worried about her falling and wanted to see if there was something we could use that will give her the freedom to walk (she also doesn't like to hold hands) but where we could still make sure she doesn't try to go too quickly and trips (like she's doing now). The harness I have seen in stores have a very short strap so it's almost like you are holding their hands.

I'm going to jump over to BRU now and look at their sit and stand stroller options. That may be helpful while we are walking around the park.

 

[qtiekiki]

I like the idea of the backpack harness. In fact, we got one for Meena when she started walking and wanting to wander around. But it didn't work out for us because she just wouldn't have it. She hugged and played with it, but she wouldn't wear it. She cried murder when we put it on her, so we never got to use it for the purpose.

 

[Loves Vintage]

If you are still considering the backpack idea, I happened to notice that these are on Zulilly today for $12.99. It's a pink poodle!!! How adorable is it? They also have a cow, a pig, panda, puppy, unicorn, monkey!!! Too cute!! Of course, I have no experience with any of these, so can't comment on practicalities or not!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am okay with them. I think people do judge, but those are the people that have never had to deal with a wandering toddler. This is about safety. We have a monkey one from target and a harness style (no backpack/animal) one. She hated it but they work well in busy places like parks, malls, airports.

 

[Mara]

ditto Tacori. we def plan to get one for J to use in crowded situations. i don't expect for it to become a babysitter for our kid but a little more peace of mind because he may not always want to hold our hands if he's excited and if he won't stay in his stroller, then this is a great other option.

i think pandora's daisy also has a super cute monkey one.

 

[MustangGal]

We have a Jeep brand puppy one and have used it a few times. I think if we'd started on it when he first started walking like Sophia is, then he might have accepted it better. He's fine with wearing it, but gets mad when he gets to the end of the leash and can't go further! He does like the drag it around the house by the leash and watch the cat attack it though...

 

[anchor31]

They are so cute! I do plan on getting something similar when J will be walking... When I was a kid, my parents had me and my siblings wear something simlar but a lot less cute, it was a bit like a big phone cord that we wore around the wrist. I remember not minding wearing them, we got to pick the colour and all that.

 

[Pandora II]

I have one of the backpack ones (the chimp version of the one LV posted) - but only for use in enclosed spaces as it's not very sturdy, if she was to do a runner for the road or something I wouldn't trust it, and if she falls over and I grab it to stop her hitting the ground it doesn't feel strong enough for a bigger child (D's 20lbs and it's just about okay).

So, normally I use a heavy-duty harness with a dog lead attached to it. It gives her plenty of freedom but means I have a tight hold. I've had so many people come up and tell me what a great idea it is - oh and people laughing about the dog lead and suggesting I should try an extendable one!

I don't know how tantrum prone Sophia is, but after thinking it would be a lovely idea to take Daisy out for the day: a trip to a park and walking through it to the zoo, I have never left home for a long trip without either pram or sling again. It was a total nightmare.

I really don't know what I would do without the harness though - Daisy is so determined and refuses to be carried unless she is in a sling for more than a few minutes, she'd be dead many times over without it as she can run as fast as I can and squeeze through spaces I can't.

I was at the hospital the other day with her and put her down to get the appointment letter from my bag - before I even had it unzipped she was out the door, down the corridor and I saw the lift doors at the end closing as I got there and her waving. Luckily the other people in the lift brought her straight back up, but I had abandoned pram, bag everything and run down that corridor after her and still didn't catch her. With a harness she is stuck right next to me whether she likes it or not.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

I don't really like them and we have never used one. But certainly I have seen them around. Not judging that choice, it just isn't something we opted for and probably won't in the future.

We have three things we do with Hunter in crowds. 1) Stoller (protest schmotest he has learned long ago not to bother, though we certainly respect that it is no fun to be in it for too long) 2) we have a few carriers we use, a backpack style carrier that DH carries him in and a hip carrier that I use 3) one of us just carries him if need be, but the carriers are a life saver. So far no issues. He is the type to run off, and if it is safe, one of us just follows him and we let him explore. If it is very crowded we have found he does not want to walk anyways and wants to be carried. We use the hip carrier and the backpack a lot. The hip carrier/stoller combo is what I would use if we went to Disney, because he could ride in the stroller and if he wanted out of it, I could carry him in the hip carrier and let him down/pick him up very easily as circumstances warranted.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Mere-I do not (re: the stroller).

I'm not too worried about her walking off but more worried about her falling and wanted to see if there was something we could use that will give her the freedom to walk (she also doesn't like to hold hands) but where we could still make sure she doesn't try to go too quickly and trips (like she's doing now). The harness I have seen in stores have a very short strap so it's almost like you are holding their hands.

I'm going to jump over to BRU now and look at their sit and stand stroller options. That may be helpful while we are walking around the park.

Hunter went through this stage around Sophia's age. We told him he had to hold our hands to walk, and if he would not, we picked him up and carried him or put him in the stroller. He learned quickly, but did protest at first. Now he is a very nice hand holder most of the time.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I could NOT resist posting this photo. This is what happens when I refused to carry her and she didn't want the backpack on. She protested by sitting on the street, not moving. Am I a bad mom that I find this photo (and the situation) hysterical?

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

I could NOT resist posting this photo. This is what happens when I refused to carry her and she didn't want the backpack on. She protested by sitting on the street, not moving. Am I a bad mom that I find this photo (and the situation) hysterical?

haha... the funniest part is you had the presence of mind to take a photo too!

Hunter does that as well, it is a time tested method, I think they all talk about it at the annual Toddler Tantrum conventions.

Did she give in eventually?

 

[fieryred33143]

Tacori that pic is great

 

[Pandora II]

LOL, Tacori - that is priceless.

If I ever thought to get the camera out I'd have a few of those - Daisy has the same identical backpack, but D will also lie down in the street if she's really thwarted. Fortunately she's quite happy to wear the harnesses, it just everything else that sets it off.

Is it bad that I sometimes walk off and pretend she's not mine?

You have a sassy little girl - please share your secrets!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

D, I am an evil mom. Bwahaha. I have MANY photos of her out of control. Actually one of my neighbors reminded me to make sure I had one of an award winning tantrum for memories. I have lots, T gives me so many opportunities. This was taken when she was 20 months so I can't really remember the outcome. I think once I started walking away she got up and ran after. Once in a restaurant she was on the floor kicking and screaming (yes, that is my kid) and I got up to walk away and she ran after me, "fell" down, and assumed her previous position. That was a tough age. I am happy to report, though she still has her moments, she is much easier to deal with now.

fiery, I STILL laugh when I see it. Like I said, I am a mean woman.

Pandora, she IS sassy. Smart, stubborn, sassy, and sweet sums her up. It is just her personality. DH and I are fairly laid back so I am not sure who's child she is. I comfort myself by knowing she is unlikely to get pushed around in life. She is NOT a wallflower. I totally like to pretend she is not mine except she looks just like me. Take a picture next time! Great memories! T also has the matching neck pillow (for the car) and has never used it. Oh well.

 

[mayachel]

Not yet a mom, but amusingly this is a conversation husband and I have had on numerous occasions. I am 100% on board with a harness for a toddler. (He hates it, though since we've started seeing the backpacks on kids, he agrees they don't look neglected) AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cute and adorable fuzzy animal/backpack/harness. Disclosure-my parents used a yellow harness with me, many moons ago. As my mom says "some children EARN their harness". And I'm sure that is true. In a crowded place, with lots of people, it is difficult to hold the hand of a child 100% of the time. In a place as fun and as exciting as Disneyworld, I think it would be very easy for a self-assured child to wander off to see something and be gone in the blink of an eye.

 

[swingirl]

I hate the idea of a kid on a leash but I've got to say, those backpack things are adorable!! Looks like a great idea for a crowded place like Disneyland. Have fun and tell Mickey I said Hi!!

 

[pennquaker09]

I could NOT resist posting this photo. This is what happens when I refused to carry her and she didn't want the backpack on. She protested by sitting on the street, not moving. Am I a bad mom that I find this photo (and the situation) hysterical?

Same thing, except I have problems with my little man, Gray. We hve the same harnesses for the twins, and at first, Savannah hated it, but she figured out that she would either get to be a big girl and walk or put confined to a stroller. She prefers walking, so she'll happily walk with her monkey friend. Gray on the other hand does exactly what Tess does. Has a little fit and cries. You're right Tacori, it's hilarious, and I'm going to make a point to carry my camera and snap a picture next time it happens. The only time he doesn't fight me is when Nate is with us because he knows that Nate won't have it.

Before I had kids, I had a negative attitude towards the leashes, but now I don't. Savannah is a climber, so I have to be able to control her.

 

[Pandora II]

Could I ask why people see them as negative or as a sign of neglect?

Here I don't know anyone who doesn't use one - it's like having a stroller or a crib... as soon as they can walk you put them in reins.

I'd see not doing it and letting them run around as far more neglectful - especially if you have more than one child it's impossible to always control where they are going or keep them safe.

 

[Jennifer W]

Pandora, I was just thinking the same thing. Here, it's the next stage after a stroller and most people do it. I wouldn't dream of talking A out somewhere walking without it, how ever good she was at hand holding. I grit my teeth in annoyance when un-restrained toddlers sprint in front of me and fret endlessly when I see them near traffic. Must be a cultural thing.

Backpack for putting the kid in - Fiery, we got this one:
http://www.mothercare.com/Little-Life-LittleLife-Traveller-Carrier/dp/B001NLJ77M/sr=1-96/qid=1284727304/ref=sr_1_96/279-2522728-1568321?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42833041&mcb=core

I don't know if that's a brand available in the US, but I think they are all much the same.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Penn, you gottta take a picture! Someday you can show him how unreasonable he was

Pandora, BEFORE kids I had opinions on everything and didn't like the harness, portable dvd players, etc...once the kid came I realized those things are about survival (either her survival or mine. haha). Now that she is older I no longer use it but it was great for 18-24 month period where she was a wild child and I couldn't bargain with her.

 

[fieryred33143]

I think in the US, people don't have that much sympathy for parents. If your child is loud in an airplane, they want you thrown out. If you give them a DVD player to keep them quiet, they can't believe how lazy you are as a parent. If your child is running around, they think you don't know how to or want to take control of your kid. If you do so by having something like a harness, then you are cruel and again lazy. Very rarely do you hear someone say "wow that child is crying because they must be tired/cranky/teething/hungry, etc." Nope. It's always bad parenting.

 

[Jennifer W]

Good grief. I think you should bring your gorgeous girl to Scotland. We like babies here. Huge PS playdate?

 

[NovemberBride]

Pandora - I am a parent and I don't like the harnesses. They just remind me too much of an animal on a leash. I am not judging those who use them, they are just not for me and my family. My DD will either ride in the stroller, be carried or walk. I totally understand about trying to keep kids safe and believe me, my DD keeps me on my toes. I do think though that for some parents the harness could provide a false sense of security, just because you have one on your child doesn't mean you can take your eyes off them in public. It may also be cultural, I live in the US (formerly in NYC and now just outside Philly) and I almost never see them. They are not popular here even in the city and I think some people do tend to judge people who have their kids on a leash.

 

[meresal]

Could I ask why people see them as negative or as a sign of neglect?

Here I don't know anyone who doesn't use one - it's like having a stroller or a crib... as soon as they can walk you put them in reins.

I'd see not doing it and letting them run around as far more neglectful - especially if you have more than one child it's impossible to always control where they are going or keep them safe.

Pandora, I'm not sure how long the strap is on the newer models... but the ones that I have seen before, have a strap that is very long, making it a "road hazard" to other people walking around you.

If the strap is only a foot or two in order to keep the child close without having to hold their hand, then I am all for it. However, if the kid can still run away, but in doing so leaves all other people walking around in danger of falling and tripping over the invisible strap... I am definitely NOT a fan.

I feel that as a parent you have to do things that make your life easier, but I am still very much aware of the hazards/annoyances that our "mom tools" can cause others innocent bystandards.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

I don't like them for me and my family, but can't say exactly why. I don't think it is neglectful, and I don't have particularly negative attitudes about people who do use them. I think it might be too similar to an animal leash for my comfort, and somehow that contradicts with my view of my child as a person deserving of respect. But that is my personal feeling, not something that I would require other parents to follow. I also don't like Hunter watching any TV at all, but don't judge people who let their kids watch TV. My reasons for both of these parenting choices are not particularly well articulated, but I know for our family, they are the right thing.

I already wrote what we do as an alternative with our wild uncontrollable monkey 19 months old So far it works fine for us without the leash.

Interesting they are so common in the UK.

I was watching the documentary "Babies" the other day and one of the kids is from Mongolia, and there the babies are tied to the bed and left to play in the hut alone while the parents work. And when they are older the toddlers play with the goats and cows! We would think it insane to do either thing with our kids, but there it is normal and the kids seem to be fine. I recommend the movie to anyone with kids, it is so neat to see how the kids are reared differently around the world.