The Official TTC Thread!

[cakeny]

Hello SapphireLover and luvthemstrawberries! Glad to see some fellow TTC newbies around here. I just picked up my copy of TCOYF and I got the latest version with the CD, the 10th anniversary edition. In the preface, she says that the main updates to this edition are the CD (which is just a 2 week trial anyway) and new information in the "What''s next" chapter (which covers high tech fertility treatments).

SapphireLover - I was on depo during my college years, years ago. I think I was on it for a little over 1 year then I just started getting freaked out about not having a period but constantly spotting so I stopped. I remember it taking about 3 months before I got AF and then I switched over to the pill. I have also read and heard that those who have been on depo may have a longer "normalizing" period than former BCP takers. I''m sorry that you are stressed, but I understand it must be a little nerve-wracking. Is there a reason you can''t (or maybe don''t want to) switch to a low dose BCP, or maybe even the Nuva Ring? (I was a big fan of nuva ring)

in other AF news, I have still not gotten AF - it''s taking a frustratingly long time to come!

 

[SapphireLover]

Thanks for the supportive words! It is a stressful time. We aren't in TTC mode, we are in pre-TCC situation. I do NOT want to get pregnant before the wedding, however, taking steps to normalise fertility does come with risks. The next depot isn't due for another 8 weeks, so DF and I have got time to discuss what we want to do. I think he will get a shock- I've never had a period while we have been together!

I have ordered TCOYF and The Ultimate PCOS Handbook- both should be delivered by tomorrow morning.

Its all quite scary- DF and I went for genetic counselling last month (I have a bleeding disorder and a history of family renal failure) and we were given the advice of "get cracking and don't leave it too long" (they didn't actually use that phrase, but that was the message). I'm 28, but will be 6 weeks shy of 30 by the time we get married.

Edited to add- FestyI am not on any treatment for my PCOS.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Festy, Tiffanytwisted, and CakeNY - thank you!

Sounds like the 2006 version is just updated with a CD and more info on the latest fertility treatments. If that''s it, and the CD is only a 2 week trial, then it sounds like the 2001 version may still be OK to buy, since I don''t need info on high tech fertility technology at the moment. I''ve seen the older version for cheaper (not that the newest one is that much more though).

Anyway, thanks for the responses!

 

[steph72276]

Hey, guys! Haven't popped in here in a while because I was letting myself take a little break from stressing out over TTC. Last month, (and pretty much every month before that) I just *knew* I was pregnant....I was late by a few days, back aches, etc. but I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Well, Saturday night hubby and I had a date night and went to a fancy place to eat....I ordered a martini and took a few sips and started feeling like I was going to throw up so hubby finished it. Then for the past few days, I have been feeling like I was coming down with something....I had waves of nausea, broke out in sweats, etc. Well, I was not supposed to start until tomorrow, but I decided just to go ahead and get a test and see but totally didn't expect anything. Well, before I even finished the test, 2 lines showed up!!! So, I have an appointment on Monday with my doc to confirm, but it looks like I am pregnant! We are so excited. We are waiting to tell out little one about it this time until 12 weeks since he was so devastated last time, but I just thought I would share with you guys. Thanks for all the support and kind thoughts, and I wish all of you BFP very soon!

 

[SapphireLover]

I am new to this thread but that is AMAZING news. Congrats (and mazel tov) to you and your hubby!

 

[lovelylulu]

steph. I''m so happy for you and your family!!

stick little bean stick!!

**********************************

welcome to the new posters - glad to have some fresh *faces* around here

good luck to you.

 

[Burk]

Congrats Steph!!

 

[lovelylulu]

So I had a follow-up RE appointment today. Despite being meet with: "lots of good news to share, lots of good news"

What we actually heard - mind you without a lot of bedside manner - was that:
(1) Medical science has no idea why we don't have a baby
(2) Despite that lack of knowledge, interventions are our only hope

hmmmm. not exactly what we were hoping for.

I was truly expecting that there would be some type of secondary round of *diagnostics.* More sophisticated tests, specifically designed to eliminate all of this *unexplainedness.* Apparently, that is not the case. We simply fall into a category and then the blunt objects that are fertility inteventions are waived in our face.

her: "I would recommend clomid and iui"
me: (referring to the clomid) "I thought I didn't have a problem ovulating"
her: "Well everything seems to be pointing to the fact that you don't, but this is basically our frontline intervention"
me: (apparently not effectively explaining that while I'm not necessarily against interventions per se, I would like to understand that they are actually serving a purpose and not simply being prescribed because that is what's done for everyone. I'm not everyone dammit.) "It kind of seems like 'trying to force a square peg into a round hole' approach." (also, apparently confusing my analogies)

unexplained infertility is frustrating. having an apathetic doctor who claims to be empathetic is frustrating.

I think a little bit of time to mull all of this over will help. But right about now, I just feel like I'm fighting back the tears which is inconvenient because I'm back at work (and contemplating running away to live a simplier life in the Caribbean)

 

[cakeny]

CONGRATS STEPH!!!

I''m so so sorry lulu

. It must be so frustrating to keep hearing that everything is great, but still not know what the issue could be. I had a friend go through this, kept getting test after test only to find out nothing was wrong. And also, your dr. makes me a little angry.

 

[cara]

oh dear, lovely lulu. i've been lurking on this thread for a while and feel for you!

The unexplained part has got to be hard. There are just a lot of biochemical things that have to happen for a pregnancy to happen or stick, and it seems like the standard infertility testing described here just looks at gross things and could easily miss a lot of the details that are also necessary. Kind of like a far-away view of something complicated - the fertility docs can only see big things not necessarily small ones, but you need big and small working to get pregnant.

my husband is a doctor (not ob/gyn) and i sometimes read articles in the journals we get. at the end of the day, if you and your partner are categorized as an 'unexplained infertility' with woman under 35 (and I'm not sure on your age here), that means they don't really have any more specific information about you that would be useful and are just going with the standard recommendations that are based on statistical averages of couples with your symptoms (or lack thereof). So it sucks to be lumped in with a bunch of other couples that may have very different underlying issues, but its all they can do at this point.

i didn't relook up the article i'm thinking of, and i am certainly not a doctor, but my memory is that the IUI + clomid recommendation is the standard recommendation for couples in your boat. IUI alone improves the odds over timed intercourse, clomid alone isn't so recommended for the reason you state - that it looks like you ovulate properly. But complicating things slightly, IUI+clomid does slightly better than IUI alone which is why it was the recommendation. I don't think that this results in pregnancy for all or even most couples, but it works for enough that the recommend it prior to more aggressive interventions. Then if no pregnancy after a few cycles of IUI+clomid, they recommend IVF, which also improves the odds, especially for women under 35, but again not to great numbers.

And you are totally right - these (IUI, IVF, ovulation-inducing drugs) are blunt interventions, not particularly tailored to each couples, because they don't actually know what is going wrong in each case. And even if they did, they don't have a lot of tools in their toolbox.

It sucks that your doctor didn't take the time explain things and make you feel more OK with their recommendation and reasoning. Are you the kind of person that would feel better if you read the studies and figured out why they were making recommendations and what the odds were at each step? That would definitely help me, but there is also a person that would just want to let the information and recommendation sit for a while to let the news settle before digging deeper into the options. Sorry again for the sucky news!

 

[Mandarine]

Congrats Steph!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sending you TONS of sticky vibes!!!!!!!!!

Lulu I am so sorry that you''re going through this...it just sounds so frustrating!!!. I think not having answers must be the hardest part. My friend that just got pregnant after her 4th IVF went through a similar frustrating phase of not knowing why things were not happenning for them. She took Clomid and did a whole bunch of other things thinking she had a problem (not identified). Well, it turns out, that right before her 4th IVF, they decided to take a closer look at genetics testing. Turns out her husband has a cromosomal disorder...which was the reason all the previos tries had failed. Once they figured out that was the problem, they carefully selected the embryo without the disorder, and well, she got pregnant!. I know she had a very hard time coming to terms with everything she had gone through....of course they were happy, but they were also upset that they had gone through years of not knowing, all because they had failed to do one test!.

Anyway, I''m just truly sorry and hope they find some answers for you. Keeping you in my thoughts!!

 

[applequeen]

Congratulations Steph!

Lulu... I hope you don''t mind me jumping in here, I lurked on the board enough before joining so I''m somewhat familiar with your story. I''m sorry to hear about your Dr visit...is switching Drs an option? It doesn''t seem that you''re getting the care and support you need from this one and that she is only adding to your stress.

As for me.... nothing to report here. It''s my first official week of BC and I can feel my body start to adjust. I''ve had a dull headache for several days but it seems to be getting better and I was anticipating headaches being a problem since I had to switch BC pills due to having them during my "off week". My skin is an absolute wreck and I''m really worried about how that''s going to turn out. I have a dermatologist apt. in 2 weeks to have a mole removed so if it''s not better by then I''ll ask for some reccomendations. My primary care Dr (who I was visiting for allergies) took one look at my face and prescribed me doxycycline for it (I didn''t even ask him... he said "let me prescribe something for that acne"

. I''ve been on it before and it worked but once I started reading about it and talking to some medical type friends I am absolutly not taking it... I can''t believe he even prescribed it since he knows about my baby plans.

I''ve read a good part of TCOYF and I have to say....>WOW... if I''d known all of that I would have been off BC months ago. It all makes so much sense in terms of my sex drive and those sorts of issues. So far there is no improvement in the sex drive but that could also be due to the fact we''ve been killing ourselves with the kitchen project. We''re near the end so I hope we have a chance to relax and enjoy some time together soon.

There are so many of my friends who are due within the next 4 months... one is at the hospital now... it''s really kicking up the baby fever for me. Unfortunatly my 3 best friends are all freaking out .... they won''t even discuss the possiblity of me getting pregnant...they dont'' intend to be hurtful but they''re just not at that stage in life yet (all are single). It makes me sad though... I lost my very best friend with no explanation when I got married and I don''t want to lose another.

 

[Festy]

Steph, congratulations!!!

I''m feeling like that super-fast second line is a really good sign and that this one is a sticker for sure!

 

[Festy]

Lulu, where is the emoticon of a person banging her head against a wall when you need one? That''s how I''m feeling for you.

Your doctor absolutely should have explained more to you. Yours was such a logical question, only to be met with "well, that''s just what you do." Cara, thank you so much for doing what her doctor should have. FWIW, Cara''s info is basically what our RE told me. That they get better results with IUI + Clomid vs. IUI + nothing. Still, it feels like you''re being treated for a condition you don''t have. At least that''s the part I struggle with. We are mostly in the same boat you are...kind of in a holding pattern while we (really I) figure out what I want to do. What I want to do is get the EFF pregnant! And go to a deserted Caribbean island, oh yes. Anyway, I''m sorry for the frustration you''re feeling.

 

[lovelylulu]

ladies,

thank you so much for your truly thoughtful posts.

cara - I very much appreciate your explanation and as to your question toward the end, I think that I''m both - someone that would like to read the literature and someone that needs to let it sink in for a bit.

festy - i''m only sorry that you are banging your head right there along with me. but, i do enjoy that sense of humor of yours! must keep my own.

mandarine - thanks for your thoughts!! and your post about your friend. I''m glad things worked out for them.

applequeen - i don''t mind at all. thanks for the support

cakeny - thanks for being angry for me!

I am beginning to understand that there really aren''t a lot of "tools in the toolbox" so to speak and that is likely largely responsible for this one-size-fits-all approach to assisted babymaking

 

[steph72276]

Thanks so much, Sapphire, Lovelylulu, Burk, Cakeny, Mandarine, Applequeen, and Festy! We are very excited, but I know I will be super nervous this time until at least the start of the second trimester. It is hard to try not to get too excited yet. I''m so glad I can come here and talk about it since we''re not telling many people now. Thanks again guys and I look forward to seeing more BFP from others soon!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Steph,

Congratulations, lady! I was hoping page 300 would provide some good news (I always get excited with that...200, 250, 300... odd, no?

).

Thinking happy thoughts for your family! Very exciting!!!

*****
Lulu,

Girl, I''m sorry. I''m really easily agitated by Drs. lack of social skills sometimes. Like everything they tell you is just no big deal, but it is. It''s *your* life, *your* body, and not just another number, another diagnosis, another procedure. I wish Drs. would remember every day, with every patient, that we are people first and foremost. Ech.

I don''t really have any words to soothe you at all, but I will let you know that I''m thinking about you and keeping the faith that things will work out and one day soon we''ll be talking about elbows to the ribcage, gagging over toothpaste flavors, and swollen ankles. You know, all the wonderful things we dream of.

Prayers of peace and a baby to you, my friend!

******
I started temping again a few days ago, think I''m *this close* to ovulation, but still trying to keep it low key. Really, it''s been going pretty well so far. Still on my mind daily (more than that, if I''m honest about it), but I don''t think it''s as overpowering of everything else in my life as it was. Still, I dream of the day I find out we''re going to be parents, and I''m hoping that day is soon. Very soon. Paul and I have been spending a lot of time together and that helps keep me from wanting to wander down to the computer to look up whatever I can think of regarding baby making, baby growing, and parenthood. It''s a welcome break.

Next week is our next appointment with the Dr. Paul still hasn''t done the SA test (the location nearest us has closed down

and he would have a hard time getting the goods to the other office in the time frame alloted). So I guess we''ll just see what happens and if it''s something that has to be done, we''ll cross that bridge when we get there.

A dear friend of ours was involved in a terrible accident that cost him his life, and it''s really brought to light for us all the things that matter in life. And while we want a baby very much, we don''t want to lose the time we have together now by stressing over things we sadly cannot control. (My praying friends, please send one up for Cindy and her two sons, ages 8 and 2, who are mourning the loss of an amazing man and wonderful father.)

 

[puffy]

steph a very BIG congrats!!!

fisher i am so sorry to hear about your friend. will definitely be praying for your friend''s family.

 

[Sha]

Congratulations, steph!!

Hope you have a smooth 9 months!

fisher, I''m really sorry to hear about your friend as well. How sad....

 

[qtiekiki]

Congratulations steph.

Good luck to everyone else.

 

[Burk]

lulu~Sorry for what you''re going through!

Fisher~Thoughts and prayers to your friend! I hope this cycle is the one for you!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Steph- im sooo happy and excited for u!

Lulu- im so sorry ...going thru my infertility phase I was constantly amazed at the lack of answers the medical world had. I wish u all the best!

Fisher- so sad about your friend

...
Crossing fingers and toes for this cycle!

 

[peonygirl]

Steph, congrats on your BFP!!! That is some dark line! I really think it will be sticky this time.

Lulu, I''m really sorry that you''re having trouble getting answers. I think "unexplained infertility" means that if you do have an issue it''s more subtle than medical science can detect, or everything is okay with you and with some luck it will just take you longer than the average person to get pregnant. I don''t know all of the "subtle medical issues" that can make conception difficult, but sometimes sperm have trouble breaking through the egg to fertilize it, or the egg has a hard time traveling through the fallopian tubes because the cilia/fimbria aren''t doing a great job. I learned recently that the ovary and fallopian tube aren''t directly connected, so the oocyte has to be coaxed into the fallopian tube by the beating of cilia or else it gets deposited into the abdominal cavity and just degrades. I''m not saying that this is your issue, but it just shows how many darn things have to go right in order to actually make a baby. I''m not sure of all of the testing you''ve had done, but have you gotten your hormones checked after ovulation, not just at day 3 of your cycle? I guess some implantation issues are caused by an insufficient rise of estrogen/progesterone that don''t create the best lining for implantation. You could probably see your lining on an ultrasound too. I hope that you can find a new doctor who is more receptive to your questions! *tons and tons of baby dust your way*

Fisher, that is so sad about your friend. Losing my DH is one of my worst fears.

 

[dani13]

Congratulations, Steph!!! Wishing you a happy & healthy pregnancy!!!

Hi Lulu! Im so sorry to hear about the terrible experiences you''ve been having. I hope things get better for you very soon. *Hugs*

 

[blushingbride]

CONGRATULATIONS Steph!!!!!!!

I''ll be praying for a sticky bean for you!

I also saw on the preggers thread that qtiekiki is about 5 weeks along - didn''t she pop into this thread a while back? Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to qtiekiki too!!!!

Lovely (BTW - I noticed that I''m the only person that calls you by the first part of your screen name - everyone else calls you Lulu. I think I''ve been calling you that ever since the beginning of this thread - too funny

) - I have my first RE appt. next Thurs. and I''m nervous about her telling me the same things your doctor told you - that it''s unexplained and that they don''t have an answer. I can completely sympathize with your frustrations. I feel like the medical world can diagnose anything and everything, but when it comes to infertility, they come up short.

I know that you have a lot of thinking to do and some important decisions to make, but you''ll do what''s right for you and your DH. I, personally, am not giving up without a fight. I will not succumb to infertility - it''s just not in my nature. Although, this whole process and not having any answers has left me weak and emotional. I wanted this to be fun and exciting and it''s turned out to be the complete opposite of that. Not to mention, it will most likely be expensive when it''s supposed to not cost us a thing. So many frustrations and not enough time to vent them all, but please know you are not alone in this

 

[lili]

woohoo, congrats Steph

hope you have a healthy and smooth 9 months.

So sorry to hear about your friend fisher. My heart goes out to them.
Good luck to you (and everyone on the TTC train) this cycle.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Blushing- love ur attitude! I can''t wait to hear all about ur crmi journey..please keep us updated with details!

 

[drk]

Blushing and LL - you''re definitely not alone in all this. I''ve got another "baseline" monitoring appointment tomorrow for IVF#2 (IVF#1 didn''t even get to retrieval). We''ve got diagnoses coming out our ears, but that still doesn''t entirely help. Between the PCOS, luteal phase defect, and some major male factor issues, we''re a total mess! Amazingly we got pg once on femara + progesterone, and later with femara + injectibles + IUI. Unfortunately, we lost both of those, and have no good answer as to why. We decided to move on to IVF as we''re not getting any younger and its success rates are just so much higher.

With the clomid, I imagine they''re trying to induce one or more eggs to develop each month, as well as correct any subtle luteal phase defect. The more targets the sperm have to go for, the better the chances of pregnancy. Adding the IUI will increase your chances, especially if the sperm aren''t so great, but probably not dramatically so. Clomid ended up drying up my cervical mucus after a few months though, so watch out for that. The femara was much better.

Tonight I''m just praying I find out tomorrow that I passed my licensing exam. I''ve had enough time to second-guess myself, and am totally terrified that I might have screwed up. As long as I passed that, I won''t mind so much what the monitoring shows tomorrow morning. It''d be nice if both are good, but I just really want to have passed the exam.

Fisher - how are you doing? Sorry to hear about your friend - that''s just awful.

Kate

 

[steph72276]

Hey, girls! I have an appointment this afternoon. I think it is to just confirm the pregnancy, but let me just tell you....I could confirm it this morning with how sick I was....but I am NOT complaining in any way. I keep telling myself, sick is a good thing! Anyway, I think it is too early to do an ultrasound, but hopefully everything will go well. Fingers crossed for those of you testing this week and for those with doctors appointments!

Fisher, Thank you so much! So sorry to hear about your friend. That is very sad and a true wake up call to live everyday to the fullest. I hope your doc. appointment goes well this week.

Puffy, thank you!

Sha, thanks so much....hopefully it will go smoothly this time!

Qtiekiki, thank you, we are very excited!

NYCbkgirl, thank you!

Peonygirl, thank you for the good thoughts....that is what I thought, it was a really dark line (both tests I took

), so hopefully it will be sticky this time. Hope you are feeling well

Dani, thanks for the good wishes!

Blushing, thanks so much for the prayers..that means a lot!

Lili, thank you!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Steph, I am so happy for you! Wishing you a healthy 9 months!!!