The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Bella_mezzo]

Ryan, Hope the baby cement is keeping that bean sticky, sticky, sticky!!!

Charbie-I'm sorry that you are having such a sucky time! DHs are complicated creatures!!! My DH got laid off about a month ago. He has applied to go back to school to start post-bac pre-med studies full-time so he's not getting a job in the interim, he just filed for unemployment and is doing odd jobs around the house (he just finished our glass tile back splash But, now that it's been about 4 weeks he's getting depressed and irritable. He's questioning his decision to switch careers, he ability to succeed in the work place, how he can find work he's passionate about (he was a world-class musician, but he career ended 10+ years ago due to him developing a neurapathy call focal dystonia that makes him unable to play the tuba), whether he'll get into school...he had said he'd do all the housework while he's not working since I work full-time and am in an MBA program...um yeah, he does some great stuff like the backsplash and making homemade dinner about once a week, but other than that, I think he mostly eats pizza and watches cartoons during they day and he's bored and grumpy when I get home He keeps saying it would be different if we had a kid b/c he'd feel this need to provide for his family and that would help balance him not feeling passionate about his work and part of why he's so grumpy is that he just wants to be a dad . I'm like what about me, do't you want to provide for me?!?!?!? But it's actually kind of nice to know that another DH really feels like things would feel different if they had a child...

FIsher-I think about you often too! I hope that we both become mommies soon!!! Since we are leaving our parameters pretty wide for a child (1 child under 2 1/2 or a sibling group of up to 3 kids under the age of 4, no gender preference at all...) our wait might not be super long. If our passports and criminal clearances come in on time, we should be officially done with our paperwork and on the wait list sometime in December. After that we'll probably wait 4 months (to be matched with 2-2 1/2 year old boy or preschool-aged siblings) or up to 18 months to be matched with a baby under 12 months old. In between there is a lot of latitude/variables...once we are matched the court/travel process takes about 3 months. As you can see from the wait times, we'll probably end up with a 2 year old boy or pre-school sibling group. We know that God already knows the children he has for our family and are just praying and trusting that He will bring them into our lives at the right time!

As far as sibling spacing, yeah, we used to say 18 months-36 months was a good spacing. Now...we'll take babies whenever they come We're not super keen on artificial twinning (when you adopt or adopt/give birth to two children who are less than 9 months apart) but are not 100% opposed either, and other than that, if they are more than 9+ months apart, bring it on

 

[HOUMedGal]

Fisher - The Duggars were on the Today show yesterday with a "big announcement" - indeed, Josh and Anna are expecting again! And apparently they found out on their LO's birthday! Wonder how many they'll end up having??

PS: great to see you back around these parts!! I've missed your thoughtful posts!

 

[missjaxon]

LTP - We can be waiting buddies! It is always nice to have some company. Hopefully the missing days don't affect it too much and I am sending you tons of dust, it sounds like you put a good effort in even under the circumstances,I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Fisher - I am sorry to hear your MIL is still sick and in and out of the hospital, I will keep her in my prayers. I know how badly you want to share a grandbaby with her, even if your BIL/SIL have one on the way - I can see how much you love her and the special bond you have in your posts and I am praying that you will get that moment to share the news of a baby with her soon.

DCGator - Yay for you DH having a "very good" sample! I have a good feeling for you this month. I think that is so adorable that you POAS to see what it would look like! Sending lots and lots of dust for the real BFP soon, after all you have shown your body what it is supposed to look like now its just has to get to work. As for my weight loss, it has been a slow and steady battle - I have PCOS and not that I use it as an excuse but having insulin resistance can make losing weight a tricky challenge. I chose not to let that be my story and just plugged away at eating healthy, working out and stopped eating sugary foods, drinking soda all together.I started eating veggies and whole grains and lean mean and replaced my morning latte w/ whip with an iced coffee with skim milk and no whip. It has really paid off and even though I still want to at least lose 10-15 lbs more I am quite happy with the progress. Lots of dust for happy news!!


Steal - I can't seem to edit my post anymore . I am not sure why. I will try again in a bit - I would hate to contribute to any problems.

CDN - I always miss them too - I just happen to put the clues together for who this particular topic of conversation was about a while back. I am still not even sure of the why's of the conversation just the who. lol if that makes sense. I hope you don't need the RE referral either. Sending dust for a BFP before the 6 months are up!!

Charbie - I have no idea about the details or "evidence" like I said I only knew who they were implying. I am not sure how the conclusion came about. I am so sorry to hear about DH's Grandmother, I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. How nice that your husband opened up to you, DH's can be awfully good at keeping things in to be strong. It is wonderful that he gave you insight to how he feels and now he can lean on you too. I wish you guys the very best!

Bella - Sorry to hear your DH is having such a hard time after being laid off. Life can be so cruddy and sometimes it seems like everyone else around you has their life figured out and are on their path but really I have found that a lot of people are experiencing the same as your DH. This world is a confusing place and there seems to be a constant pressure of needing to know what you are going to be in life, but life isn't always neat and tidy and wrapped up in bows, unfortunately sometimes you have to try and try again. Hopefully your DH can find what makes him happy and that you guys can add a little baby into the mix to keep things interesting . It is wonderful that he wants to provide for your family and super cute too!

AFM - 5DPO and still have a nice neat and tidy chart. Other than that just plugging along enjoying the freshly fallen snow and cuddling up indoors with my new Kindle and some hot tea. Nothing much to report at this point.

Much dust to all of you ladies and have a wonderful weekend!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I feel like a newbie again. What is AFM? As fore mentioned?

HOU!!! I totally just snuck a peek on the preggo thread and saw your bump. How beautiful are you??? Yay! What are you having or is it going to be a surprise?

*****
Bella,

You know, at the start of our wait, that would have seemed like a LONG time as for the approximate timeline, but now, when you keep it in perspective, that's not bad at all. And isn't it awesome to know that God already knows who He has set to come into your lives? My friend Katie who's on the match list right now for a domestic adoption tells me often that she finds herself praying for the birth parents, because God already knows who will be part of their child's life. (They're going for an open adoption.) PS-I did a search and couldn't find your blog. Maybe one day!

Re: sibling spacing--- I think ultimately parents end up being okay with whatever happens because that's just how it goes. That's part of why we've come to a peace about being open to twins; our first pregnancy may be our only. (Although, I've read a lot of information about people having a long wait while TTC for #1 and then going on to have siblings without any trouble at all. How awesome would that be??

Speaking of that, Baby Story today is about a couple who adopted twins and then found out she was pregnant, too. They'd already seen the pictures and were committed, and got pregnant, and then went to Vietnam to get their twins. Their babies are like 15 mo. apart.

I find it interesting that I have an illogical hang up on the whole intervention thing... I clearly see that medical intervention is a wonderful thing in regard to my MIL, and see it as an extension of God's hand and healing and grace. But then, with conception, it just seems to me that it *should* happen on its own, otherwise, we're trying to control it.... Very lame, since we know my MIL isn't doing anything outside of the will of God by seeking help for her medical needs. Very interesting that IUI is actually presented to us as a reality with a Dr.'s statement that we are good candidates for it, right in the midst of me praising medical interventions for MIL. I start to sway toward it and then I feel like I"m "cheating" again. Funny, Paul used to be the one most opposed to it and now, and he isn't so much anymore, but still thinks it will happen on its own before then. (Love my ever hopeful hubby!!) So maybe this is part of how I'll process the whole thing. We'll see.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Fisher - awww, thank you dear!! I am having a little girl, and her name is Eleanor Anne (Ellie for short). DH is over the moon - he totally wanted a girl!! I think I did too, I was awfully excited after we found out!

 

[Steel]

HOU: I can’t believe she is knocked up again. Her uterus must have a one in one out policy.

MissJ: You only get a short while to edit or delete. I’m sure it is all fine now. It was spelled out in big red font in the thread that will not be mentioned. Do you enjoy the snow? I hope it isn’t causing problems where you live.

Re spacing: Want a giggle? I finally got DH to agree to 5 years between babies. Now that we think I will never get pregnant we want twins. Ha. In your face, best laid plans.

 

[Steel]

Bad news: I'm spotting, AF will be here tomorrow.

Good news: I saw Pink is 3 months gone. Awh, I am so happy for her.
http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/pink-is-pregnant-20101011

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Bad news: I'm spotting, AF will be here tomorrow.

Good news: I saw Pink is 3 months gone. Awh, I am so happy for her.
http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/pink-is-pregnant-20101011

(((((((hugs))))))))

So sorry about AF, Steal.

 

[charbie]

Dc: big dust hug coming your way!
Steal: people like the duggars and the "one out, one in" policy...I understand its ther right and their beliefs, but I just don't get it. I could not operate that way. Huge hugs your way that this month was out
Missj: yay for snow....and hope the tidy chart is going to stay with a nice high temp!
Fisher: DHs are great. Mines pretty strong except for his weak back, but he helps me through the hard times and gives lots of hugs when I get sad.
Bella: you two have been through ups and downs...I'm so excited how your adoption process is going. When I met the foster child who I fell in love with a few months ago, DH suggested that we could adopt one day, but of course that would be a number of years down the road for us. Id want to adopt a toddler. As for spacing, I can understand that not wanting artificial twinning. Hell, my friend who had irish twins was worried about giving her kids enough attention each and being fair.
Gaby, LTP, CD:

Rough night for me. Had a great day playing with some babies, then we went over to another friends house where I found out DHs good friends wife is barely preggo. They met/got engaged/married over a year after DH and I. I put on my happy face and talked about it, but still felt my heart drop. They weren't trying, in fact were trying to avoid, but oooops. One of the other girls asked me if I was ok since she knew id be around my original due date, and of course I smiled and said everything happens for a reason.
We got out to the car, and as soon as I turned it on I lost it. I thought about the baby we were supposed to have and the fact that even tho we haven't been the most careful lately, I'm still not pregnant. And I'm upset with myself for trying to control when we should start a family when my heart aches for a baby. DH just rubbed my back and said, "well, can we make a baby tonight?" Even tho I'm only on CD 7. A girl can be upset over things like that, right?

 

[charbie]

I just wanted to also thank you for your patience with me. I know I might be a bit annoying since here I am, not really TTC, but not completely off the radar. I'm just frustrated by the circumstances that have happened, and while I can rationalize things to the best of my ability, I'm still at times an emotional trainwreck. I don't really have anywhere to share what weighs on me, and my husband tries so hard to be there, but I know he struggles a bit as well. I didn't say anything to him until we got to the car, but I think he was trying to be sensitive after hearing the news last night. He stuck by me with his arms around my shoulders and rubbing my back...I think he just wanted me to know he could tell I was probably in some pain.

 

[somethingshiny]

I'm not TTC but just wanted to say that this thread is a great idea. During our many years of TTC, THIS is the kind of support I needed. There is a whole different level of support required once you begin to wonder if you're infertile, and then certainly a different support necessary after losses and/or many months or years of trying. I wish all of you luck in your BDing!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Charbie,

I'm glad your hubs was supportive during the news you were told recently. I would NEVER, not ever, wish a long baby wait on anyone, but it is difficult sometimes when you hear the stories of "one time wonders" or "whoopsie" babies coming into being. I recently had that same experience and I thought I'd fall to pieces. It was so weird, since I've never been emotional (in a negative way) over others' getting pregnant. It was really hard to express clearly, because to people from the outside looking in, it looks like jealousy or self-absorbed behaviors, but it's not. It's just part of the process we go through in processing news when it's out of the blue and something you've sought out for an extended period of time yourself.

************
Okay, a friend of mine who had been trying for a couple years to have #3 (and the first 2 were no throuble at all to conceive) recently got pregnant. She's about 11 weeks now, I believe. She had told me about this book she'd been reading "Eat Right 4 Your Baby" by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo. She swears by this book.... it's based off the 4 blood types. The book follows from TTC to pregnancy through the first year of baby's life, stating the cause for following a diet that is regimed to your blood type. Has anyone heard of this before?

I looked through it today and I'm not sure what I think of it yet. I will likely follow some of the guidelines at least.... It's weird because they say all people should eat based off their blood type and Paul and I are different types so that will make for some creative meal planning, I suppose. I'm a little frustrated that some of my favorite things are apparently *no-no* items: chicken (it's the only meat I eat, and all those suggested in the book are game and I'm not about to eat game!!! it did say I can opt for turkey though, so we'll see), peanut butter (I *love* organic peanut butter!!), and tomatoes. Good thing fresh tomato season is over and our garden is no longer producing them, because I'm a sucker for a fresh tomato. Paul is supposed to eat red meat (which he LOVES and I've been telling him for years is bad and I won't cook for him), basically no diary, and no PB. He's going to throw a fit over giving up PB. Good news is yogurt is a power food for me and I adore that stuff, so whoo hoo!

I wonder if there's anything out there to support this... the theory behind the book (from the skimming I've done, anyway) in relation to fertility is that apparently some blood types can develop antibodies to one another, leading to the woman's body killing off the sperm. Hmm.. sounds like the reason several people try IUI. I am going to be researching this further, but wanted to see if anyone else had heard about anything pertaining to this.

And I also wonder why, if our blood types could clash for conception (but not for the health of our child), why it was never mentioned by doctors before? So many questsions....

 

[Laila619]

the theory behind the book (from the skimming I've done, anyway) in relation to fertility is that apparently some blood types can develop antibodies to one another, leading to the woman's body killing off the sperm. Hmm.. sounds like the reason several people try IUI. I am going to be researching this further, but wanted to see if anyone else had heard about anything pertaining to this.

This was the cause of my and DH's 'unexplained' infertility. I am O and he is A. When I read that book, it all made sense to me. O blood types make antibodies to both A and B.

charbie, big hugs.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Laila,

Do you follow the diet for your type?

Okay, so every time I've heard of antibodies in relation to being able to conceive, it has been in relation to the woman's body (CM) killing off the sperm. Are you aware of it being possible for the sperm to have antibodies to the woman? The reason I ask is because according to the chart, my blood type is compatible with Paul's, but his is not to mine. Or maybe the chart is only in relation to the woman.... What do you think? I'm a B and would only possibly develop antibodies to A or B. Paul is neither, but B is listed as an antibody for his blood type.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Steal - I know!! AND they mentioned on the Today show that they had suffered a miscarriage in between the 1 yr old and this pregnancy, so she was REALLY one out one in!! Maybe her body wasn't quite ready the 1st time?? Yay for Pink!!

 

[charbie]

Fisher - The Duggars were on the Today show yesterday with a "big announcement" - indeed, Josh and Anna are expecting again! And apparently they found out on their LO's birthday! Wonder how many they'll end up having??

PS: great to see you back around these parts!! I've missed your thoughtful posts!

Well the one in, one out is understandable if it happens once...maybe even twice. Its once they hit kid number 10 that I just wonder, "really???"

 

[KimberlyH]

Charbie, I miscarried and found out weeks later one of my dearest friends was pregnant. It was so difficult to interact with her (she had no idea I'd miscarried and there was no appropriate time to yell her). So I put on my game face and grieved silently, and spewed to my husband and other close friends. I'm sure she'd have understood, but it felt right to keep it to myself. Your reaction is normal. Don't feel guilty for being human.

 

[lili]

Quick drive by for now, but just want to say:

Steal--
*hugs hugs*
Sorry this wasn't your cycle.
But it is probably for the best until you get your answers for the polyps.
When will you get your results back from the biopsy?

Fisher--
Hey, it's good to see you back on PS!
We've missed you.
Sending your MIL and family lots of thoughts and prayers.
It sounds like she's in really good hands.

Charbie--
*hugs*
Sending your MIL lots of thoughts and prayers too.
Hope she recovers quickly.

DC--
RC had a superb sample too on her last IUI
Dusting you like mad!

 

[Steel]

Lili: You know I think you are a very sweet poster. Thanks for asking about the polyps. Crazy Dr. didn't think there were any polyps this time around- she was unhelpful in the whole appointment. In fact she said she didn't need to take any samples, nope none at all, then oh no, yeah we need some samples. I overheard her talking to her assistant as I dressed, how it was unusual to need those biopsies - (they also took some from the vagina wall). So I'm not brimming with confidence and think the whole thing was another waste of time. I bet anybody $50 that I'll get the results and they will just want me back in another 6 months - it has been like this for years. The ultrasound is on the 24th and I feel so blah about that too - like, 'what is the point' .
So yup, this is a big moanie post. I feel like I don't want to try anymore.
Thanks for listening - I don't need any advice, just good to type it out. Love & dust to you for this cycle, where ever you are!

Charbie: Your DH sounds great. I understand how you would be upset. It must be so sad to have somebody due around your due date . I would have found it difficult to keep it together as long as you did. Whether or not you hoped or expected an "accident "- you weren't really TTC so don't think you will have any problems, not yet. Plenty of time for that particular type of crazy in a few months - you have to spread the crazy, you know. Little doses .

SS & HOU:

Fisher: The diet absolutely has logic but it sounds a bit abstract to me. I'm sure lots of contra blood types get knocked up by accident. That said - I would just about give anything a go.

Bella, DCgator, CDN, PO etc and all the other no-shows, I hope you are all trucking along. Pop in for an update when you can.

EDIT: LTP: I'm sorry, I forgot to add. Thanks for the support. You are TWW'ing right? ****Dust**** to you....

AFM: I'm about to throw my toys out of my non existent (yet, already bookmarked on Amazon) pram. I think TTC sucks and blows.

 

[fieryred33143]

Hugs Steal

 

[Steel]

Hugs Steal

Thanks for reading Fiery. Sometimes it is just nice to hear yourself type.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Ahh Steal, big big hugs to you. Sorry for the frustrating dr's appointment. It's OK to moan and complain, feels better sometimes to get it out in words, yanno? Hang in there, love!!

 

[swimmer]

Hugs Steal, Fisher, Hou, Charbie, Bella, Lil, DC, Po, LTP, CDN, SS,Ms Jaxon, and anyone I'm missing. Just hugs and hugs from someone who though it would never happen. Keep on truckin' I guess.

 

[Steel]

Thank you HOU, .

Any psychics want to have a look at my partial temps. Regretfully I haven't plotted them but I could take a pic of my make-and-do chart. I started temping on 8th Nov - supposedly 6DPO...

6DPO: 35.74
7DPO: 35.79
8DPO: 35.99
9DPO: 36.36
10DPO: 36.25
11DPO:36.36
12DPO: 36.30 Spotting
13DPO:36.35 Spotting

Now AF is here, I am full on spotting and am expecting full flow tomorrow. My point to all this, is: Is it normal to have such a rise in temps so late? Doesn't that look more like an ovulation spike? Or just random goodness knows what spike?

I am going to temp this cycle fully so maybe I'll find out my temps are all over the place and I don't ovulate at all. I think I really should have done this sooner. I thought my interrupted sleep would have more of an affect - but the temps seem reasonably constant?

Do you guys pay to plot your temps with FF?
Edit: I see I have free basic and a 30 day VIP mbrship. So this month will be interesting...

 

[missjaxon]

Aww I am so sorry to hear about AF Steal! I was so hopeful to read your temps until you said AF showed up.

I am not an expert on charting or all of the rules, in fact I rely on my TTCOYF book and FF to guide me and then ask the experts on PS when I have a question so I can't be of any help to your question about the rise in temps so late. I do however pay for my membership to FF. I have a 1 year subscription.

I think your best bet is to chart a full cycle and see exactly what your body is up to. I have experienced quite a few anovulatory cycles myself and they are frustrating! Before I started charting I remember feeling that I hated not knowing what was going on - why my cycles were so long and then so short and just an all over the place mess. I do have a prolactinoma (pituitary tumor) and PCOS so we quickly learned what we were dealing with and what was going on inside of my body and finally this month I have a "normal" chart. I totally understand your frustration sweetie and I myself have cried many tears over the frustrations of a non compliant reproductive system - one can very easily become angered and feel like throwing in the towel and feel quite down. I have had more "Why me?!!" moments than I care to share . I truly hope that this new cycle is the one for you, for now all I can offer is a HUGE *((((((((HUG))))))))*!

 

[charbie]

Steal- that doctor deserves a smack in the face. *i tried to use an emotie i found...but it wouldn't work I'm excited to see your journey of charting. I did it for about a 3 weeks. Once I realized I "o'd" i stopped.

KimberlyH: thanks for the understanding. I had a friend who just gave birth...she found out just a few weeks before me she was pregnant. I was so excited for her, and I know she was crushed for me when she found out about the MC. I'm so hoping history won't repeat itself if I get pregnant after another one of our friends...

Laila: hugs right back 'atcha wheres belly pics, ma'am??? its belly pic **** for those of us who want our own belly

AFM:
Who's got 2 thumbs, on CD 9, and a big fat gob of grade "a" prime EWCM??? that would be this girl. BD marathon...commence!!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Steal-Huge hugs!!!!!!!!! Sorry that you are having such a yucky day! Yeah, TTC bites the big one big time!

Swimmer-thanks for the shout-out!

DCG-Yay for DH having a very good sample!!!! Hope that the wonderful IUI dust is still keeping you happy

Ryan wherever you are, hope that your little bean is doing great and super sticky!

On my end, CD 2, ho hum....bleh to AF, but I feel better about it since we're making headway on the adoption paperwork...DH is pretty sad though I feel badly that he's so disappointed! He has decided that since I have regular cycles his swimmers aren't getting it done. I told him there could be a hundred reasons why it hasn't happened yet, but he went to the gym today and is going to try to drop some weight (a great heath decision for both of us!) and he wants to do his SA soon. I think in January. So, we're just truckin along trying to start our family!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Thank you HOU, .

Any psychics want to have a look at my partial temps. Regretfully I haven't plotted them but I could take a pic of my make-and-do chart. I started temping on 8th Nov - supposedly 6DPO...

6DPO: 35.74
7DPO: 35.79
8DPO: 35.99
9DPO: 36.36
10DPO: 36.25
11DPO:36.36
12DPO: 36.30 Spotting
13DPO:36.35 Spotting

Now AF is here, I am full on spotting and am expecting full flow tomorrow. My point to all this, is: Is it normal to have such a rise in temps so late? Doesn't that look more like an ovulation spike? Or just random goodness knows what spike?

I am going to temp this cycle fully so maybe I'll find out my temps are all over the place and I don't ovulate at all. I think I really should have done this sooner. I thought my interrupted sleep would have more of an affect - but the temps seem reasonably constant?

Do you guys pay to plot your temps with FF?
Edit: I see I have free basic and a 30 day VIP mbrship. So this month will be interesting...

Those look like nice post-O tempts to me Steal! Very often they will continue to climb through the LP as progesterone rises and rises and rises through that time. But every month is a little different. What you will find to be relatively constant is the range of pre-O and post-O temps will be similar each month -- so maybe 35.6 and higher post-O and 35. 4 and lower pre-O -- but the specific pattern in the LP or pre-O phase are not all that meaningful.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Bella Just wanted to sing the praises of Weight Watchers online if you and DH are thinking of dropping weight. TGal and I both had great success with it and found it so user friendly. For me, I never lost weight until I got serious about counting points. Lost 20lbs in 5 months! DH has lost 15lbs. OH and HUGS too.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks DD! Yeah, I think WW online might be the next step...we're not quite there, but getting closer. I need to lose about 50 lbs (20 of which I gain in the past year since we got married ) DH has got more than that to lose, but 50 would be an awesome start and bring him down to the upper edge of normal/healthy for his body. Hopefully we'll keep working out over the holidays and try to limit our portions and then get more serious in January...

On my end, my periods have changed starting a few months ago (the cycle after I started using cloth pads) and this period, even more than my last, has little to no clots and medium heavy to heavy flow mixed with a lot of CF. I don't remember ever having noticeable CF mixed with the flow... any ideas? (Sorry, so gross and TMI, but I figure if I need to ask, then this is the thread to bring it up )

Good, bad, inconsequential, something I should tell my Dr now, or just wait until my next appointment...?