The Just Barely Preggo Thread

[mela lu]

Spanx Dreamer! You are so right about all of that.

funny story: my parents next door neighbour overheard us talking about it while we were on outside in the backyard. He later approached my mom and offered his support and told her that his wife had a m/c between their 2 kids; and that she is now 3 months preggies with their third. WELL the story gets better. I just got a facebook message from my parents across-the-street neighbour (my age) who, as it turns out, ALSO had a m/c before having her (now) 7 month old daughter.
There are two morals to this story. 1) Everyone and their neighbour has had a m/c and 2) my parents live on Wysteria Lane (it seems) LOL

Thanks for letting me be an honourary member of this forum, even though I''m not technically ''there'' yet. These forums are my life-line right now it seems!

 

[Independent Gal]

In fact, I just read yesterday that if you count the m/c''s that happen before most women know they''re pregnant, nearly EVERY SINGLE WOMAN will have a m/c in the course of her life.

I do wonder if it would be easier for women if it was talked about more, and Mela''s comment about feeling way better after talking to her DH''s colleague seems to support that. I guess maybe it''s that we don''t want to HAVE to talk to people about it.

That''s yet another great thing about PS. If The Cub ain''t viable, I''ll be able to tell y''all and get some support. Although, maybe this sounds weird, but I think I would be sad and disappointed but basically OK if it happened.

Famous Last Words?

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 6/20/2008 2:49:59 PM
Author: mela lu

Date: 6/20/2008 12:38:57 PM

Author: Independent Gal

Here''s the list of additives classed as ''Unsafe'' even at levels you might eat in a regular serving:


acesulfamine potassium

artificial colorings (blue 1, blue2, green 3, red 3, yellow 6);

cyclamate

Olestra (yuck!)

potassium bromate

propyl gallate

saccharin

sodium nitrite

sodium nitrate


Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!

Indy, did your book give examples of common foods these things are found in? that may be helpful in the event that the nutritional content is not available to look at.

I know I''d love some example of things to avoid...

Sorry Mela! No joy. I''m guessing it''s not the end of the world if one slips up once or twice. Probably just best to stay away from processed foods as much as possible.

Gosh, this is getting fun-er and fun-er-er.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 6/20/2008 12:52:34 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Okay I am loser but I am TOTALLY looking forward to preggo clothing! Everytime I walk by the stores they have really pretty things that flatter my body type (empire waists etc), and who doesn''t want to wear pants with a stretchy waistband? I plan to buy and entire wardrobe. My friend limited what they bought and wore hand-me-downs, and I think they suffered a little for that. I wan''t to relish being as big as a whale and I plan to dress wonderfully!

LMAO!!!!

DD - I have a whole other wardrobe.

It started off w/ little things - a top here, a bra there and ended up with a whole closet full.

Ebay is a fantastic idea!

This was taken on my B-day 2007 (I was huge! 37 weeks). Dress from Motherhood Maternity and I got a lot of great stuff from Pea in the Pod.

 

[mela lu]

you''re TOO cute Lisa. xoxooxox

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Thanks Mela -

And then there are those final days when a Mu-Mu is in order.

Or hospital gown. Seriously, a bed sheet give me a bed sheet!

 

[mela lu]

Date: 6/20/2008 4:56:45 PM
Author: Independent Gal
In fact, I just read yesterday that if you count the m/c''s that happen before most women know they''re pregnant, nearly EVERY SINGLE WOMAN will have a m/c in the course of her life.

I do wonder if it would be easier for women if it was talked about more, and Mela''s comment about feeling way better after talking to her DH''s colleague seems to support that. I guess maybe it''s that we don''t want to HAVE to talk to people about it.

That''s yet another great thing about PS. If The Cub ain''t viable, I''ll be able to tell y''all and get some support. Although, maybe this sounds weird, but I think I would be sad and disappointed but basically OK if it happened.

Famous Last Words?

well, hopefully you''ll never have to experience a m/c - but take comfort that if you do, you have your friends here on PS to support you

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks Mela! Cheer for The Cub for me, OK?

Lisa, I am floored by your cuteness! You''re even cuter than your li''l avatar cutie!

 

[Independent Gal]

BTW, do they sell mumu''s on ebay? Gotta check this out...

 

[mela lu]

yah Lisa. you "do 9 months preggers" very beautifully!!!

wow.

Kudos.

Indy - I''m "secreting" a very deep, long, velcro-like relationship between you and the cub.

fingers and toes crossed!

 

[Dreamer_D]

OMG I just noticed all the typos in my last post! hahah... they are going to take away my PhD!

LISA I loooove that dress you are wearing. The green on I mean. The mu-mu is practical, but I am just not sure. I think it needs some accessories.

 

[cara]

Date: 6/20/2008 12:28:42 AM
Author: erica k
DD--
I think I''m going to go with a midwife and doula, but in a hospital setting. I think if you live close to a hospital and are working with a responsible midwife who knows when to move you (in time) to a hospital, then a planned homebirth should be fine. It''s so interesting to hear about such different perspectives. I knew a 2nd year resident who shuddered at the thought of water births and told my friend that it was a horrible idea. My friend''s reaction was less than positive, mainly because she already believes that water births and birthing centers are the way to go. I''m not going to judge either way. It''s best to be as informed as possible, that''s all.

I would like a minimalist delivery in an ideal world and will hopefully work with someone whom I trust to suggest medical interventions only when absolutely necessary.

"should be fine" - what additional rate of birth defect/stillbirth/maternal complication or maternal death are you OK with? (above the rate of a hospital setting.) While a licensed midwife/nurse in a hospital setting has low additional risk, there are other choices that have much higher additional risk (home birth, doula-only attending, etc.) The particulars of where and whom attends correlate to dead babies, dead mommies, and birth defects.

My mother''s good friend had a low-risk pregnancy and planned home birth with (what she thought) was a responsible midwife who transported her to the nearby hospital promptly when she noticed fetal distress, but the baby was severely brain damaged because of oxygen deprivation by the time she was delivered by c-section (cord wrapped around neck.) Parents ended up suing the hospital on behalf of their daughter for not performing the c-section quickly enough, and did recover damages, but at the end of the day the parents had a pile of money (insufficient for lifetime care of their child) and a brain-damaged child.

As well, it''s a case where the jury awarded damages for an unfortunate medical outcome that was not entirely the doctor''s fault. The mother''s birth plan decision contributed significantly to the delay in appropriate treatment, a fact she realized only after things had gone horribly wrong. Doctors are not perfect, midwives are not perfect, and by choosing a non-optimum location a mother is taking away a significant amount of safety margin (in terms of physical proximity to emergency care and in terms of continuity of care by having medical professionals observing your progress) for the comfort/convenience/natural-lifestyle/less technical setting of a home birth. If you are emergently admitted to the hospital in distress (or with your baby in distress) the chances of a good outcome are just much lower than if you had started out in the hospital setting and your condition degraded over time at that location.

Sorry, I''ve just had a number of discussions with family members about this. At least with some of my family members, whom have an inherent skepticism of Western medicine, there was a mental disconnect between the fact that Western doctors "don''t want to take any risk", and that that risk avoidance actually meant lives saved or lost in certain instances. Western medicine is certainly not perfect, but its imperfections do not mean that avoiding medical care is safer.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 6/20/2008 1:55:07 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

So relieved to hear this.....I like the balanced approach!

As for being minutes away from the hosp. these mins. can be critical to all involved.

Even 1 min. of infant annoxia can be devestating and w/o monitoring how will you know?

What about fetal stress - again no fetal monitoring. If you bleed and need transfusing where are they gonna do that?

I had a contraction band and Olivia''s heart rate was all over the place (decels).

When they got in there she was sunny-side up w/ the cord wrapped around her body and stuck permanently in that contraction band.

They also thought she had mec''d (meconium - poop) in utero from the stress of labor and could have aspirated it. She didn''t - phew.

But NICU was standing nearby and checked her out thouroughly.

If it was 100 yrs ago we would have both died in childbirth.

And complications are not age specific.

Most deliveries go textbook but what if????

Don''t get me wrong I love the idea of having a doula or midwife at the hospital w/ the jacuzzi but having medical staff
nearby can make all the difference in the world.

And they won''t even push drugs on you if you don''t want them. But I highly recommend them.

Hi Cara,

I posted this a page ago and most of these ladies are so researched and UBER knowledgeable that their choices will
be the right ones for them. So not to worry, THEY GET THIS.

It''s not that I don''t thouroughly agree w/ u however, not all births go south and each woman and couple have to decide for themselves.

I think it''s important how we voice our concerns and to allow others to voice theirs.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/20/2008 7:17:16 PM
Author: cara

Date: 6/20/2008 12:28:42 AM
Author: erica k
DD--
I think I''m going to go with a midwife and doula, but in a hospital setting. I think if you live close to a hospital and are working with a responsible midwife who knows when to move you (in time) to a hospital, then a planned homebirth should be fine. It''s so interesting to hear about such different perspectives. I knew a 2nd year resident who shuddered at the thought of water births and told my friend that it was a horrible idea. My friend''s reaction was less than positive, mainly because she already believes that water births and birthing centers are the way to go. I''m not going to judge either way. It''s best to be as informed as possible, that''s all.

I would like a minimalist delivery in an ideal world and will hopefully work with someone whom I trust to suggest medical interventions only when absolutely necessary.

''should be fine'' - what additional rate of birth defect/stillbirth/maternal complication or maternal death are you OK with? (above the rate of a hospital setting.) While a licensed midwife/nurse in a hospital setting has low additional risk, there are other choices that have much higher additional risk (home birth, doula-only attending, etc.) The particulars of where and whom attends correlate to dead babies, dead mommies, and birth defects.

My mother''s good friend had a low-risk pregnancy and planned home birth with (what she thought) was a responsible midwife who transported her to the nearby hospital promptly when she noticed fetal distress, but the baby was severely brain damaged because of oxygen deprivation by the time she was delivered by c-section (cord wrapped around neck.) Parents ended up suing the hospital on behalf of their daughter for not performing the c-section quickly enough, and did recover damages, but at the end of the day the parents had a pile of money (insufficient for lifetime care of their child) and a brain-damaged child.

As well, it''s a case where the jury awarded damages for an unfortunate medical outcome that was not entirely the doctor''s fault. The mother''s birth plan decision contributed significantly to the delay in appropriate treatment, a fact she realized only after things had gone horribly wrong. Doctors are not perfect, midwives are not perfect, and by choosing a non-optimum location a mother is taking away a significant amount of safety margin (in terms of physical proximity to emergency care and in terms of continuity of care by having medical professionals observing your progress) for the comfort/convenience/natural-lifestyle/less technical setting of a home birth. If you are emergently admitted to the hospital in distress (or with your baby in distress) the chances of a good outcome are just much lower than if you had started out in the hospital setting and your condition degraded over time at that location.

Sorry, I''ve just had a number of discussions with family members about this. At least with some of my family members, whom have an inherent skepticism of Western medicine, there was a mental disconnect between the fact that Western doctors ''don''t want to take any risk'', and that that risk avoidance actually meant lives saved or lost in certain instances. Western medicine is certainly not perfect, but its imperfections do not mean that avoiding medical care is safer.

Cara I am sorry about the terrible experieces that your family friend had during her birth. However, I''m sure I can regale you with horror stories from hospital births too, it can be a dangerous process. Although anecdotal evidence is always compelling, I choose to follow the research and statistics which clearly show that midwife supervised home births have as low, or lower, rates of intervention and poor outcomes as hospital births *when midwifery is practiced properly and is regulated*. Midwifery in Canada is a government regulated health profession that is as reputable as mainstream medicine. Our socialized healthcare system would not support this option for women if there was any research suggesting that it was not safe. Other countries seem to aggree, and in many places, Scandenavia for example, the vast majority of births take place at home and those countries have lower rates of maternal and fetal death than the US. This is a highly personal issue, so please refrain from passing judgement on my choices, and I will refrain from passing judgement on yours.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Thanks to Mela, Indy and DD for the compliments on my ginormous figure and my attire.

And for those of you keeping count today's US showed 5 - yep 5 follies - so holy c@#p!!!!!!

2@13mm
1@15mm
1@14mm
1@10mm

US Sunday they all look like contenders. Possible trigger Sunday w/ insemination Tues.

GULP........

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/20/2008 9:31:19 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Thanks to Mela, Indy and DD for the compliments on my ginormous figure and my attire.

And for those of you keeping count today''s US showed 5 - yep 5 follies - so holy c@#p!!!!!!

2@13mm
1@15mm
1@14mm
1@10mm

US Sunday they all look like contenders. Possible trigger Sunday w/ insenination Tues.

GULP........

LOL Lisa, I told you how Jon & Kate (from the TLC show John and Kate plus ended up with sextuplets from the exact treatment you are taking, right??!?! Fingers crossed you get preggo, but not tooooooo preggo maybe?

What is the drug that stimulated the follicles anyways? I forgot...

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 6/20/2008 9:30:00 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Cara I am sorry about the terrible experieces that your family friend had during her birth. However, I''m sure I can regale you with horror stories from hospital births too, it can be a dangerous process. Although anecdotal evidence is always compelling, I choose to follow the research and statistics which clearly show that midwife supervised home births have as low, or lower, rates of intervention and poor outcomes as hospital births *when midwifery is practiced properly and is regulated*. Midwifery in Canada is a government regulated health profession that is as reputable as mainstream medicine. Our socialized healthcare system would not support this option for women if there was any research suggesting that it was not safe. Other countries seem to aggree, and in many places, Scandenavia for example, the vast majority of births take place at home and those countries have lower rates of maternal and fetal death than the US. This is a highly personal issue, so please refrain from passing judgement on my choices, and I will refrain from passing judgement on yours.

I was looking for studies that demonstrated what DD just said here just before I realized that she replied. So, a big ditto to this. I can provide sources if anyone''s interested.

Just a reminder -- women don''t need to be attacked for the choices that they make and believe are best for them and their child. Cara, I''m sure that you didn''t mean it to come off this way, but as someone who wants a homebirth when the time comes I felt like you were essentially saying that I''m fine with killing my baby and myself.


Lisa, that''s CRAZY! I hope that you end up pregnant, but not with FIVE.

 

[mela lu]

Holy sh!t Lisa I''m so scared-slash-excited for you. omg omg omg.

"lisa, DH, olivia + 5" mmm. It''s missing that certain catchy rhyme.

haha

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

I totally forgot how Jon & Kate got the sextuplets.

Was it IUI or IVF?

Anyway even w/ 2 follies they can divide all on their own.

DD the drug is FSH - pure follicle stimulating hormone, I know, I know it''s only doing what it''s supposed to do but it''s
doing it A LOT to me!

I asked about HOM (high order mulitples) and RE didn''t seem concerned at all.

The guy''s been getting women knocked up for over 20 yrs so I guess he might know just a little more than me

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/20/2008 9:51:33 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
I totally forgot how Jon & Kate got the sextuplets.

Was it IUI or IVF?

Anyway even w/ 2 follies they can divide all on their own.

DD the drug is FSH - pure follicle stimulating hormone, I know, I know it''s only doing what it''s supposed to do but it''s
doing it A LOT to me!

I asked about HOM (high order mulitples) and RE didn''t seem concerned at all.

The guy''s been getting women knocked up for over 20 yrs so I guess he might know just a little more than me

Jon and Kate used IUI!! Same as yooooouuuuuuu!

I think it is a great sign that your body is responding so well to the FSH. A couple I know had to use fertility treatments and ended up using IVF about 6 times to get their two children, and one of the problems was that the woman''s body didn''t respond well to the stimulating drugs and she would only produce a very small number of eggs each month and most weren''t viable. Like, in IVF, many women will produce 20 eggs or something, and she would produce like 4.

Anyways, I think that your body''s responsiveness bodes well! Especially combined with your generally clean bill of fertility health on top of it! I think it is very very likely that you will hit the jackpot within the 4 cycles of IUI that you are planning to do! Yippeee!

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

DD I am so going to google Jon & Kate now.

I think they were crazy to go ahead w/ 6!!!!!

It is truly amazing that they all survived.

I followed a quad preg. at the hosp. where I worked and it was EPIC.

She was there for 5 months - no joke.

Our NICU team had mock quad drills just for her!

We also had many more triplets and a ton of twins.

That poor quad mom looked like one of those crazy fish when u view them from the front they look thin and from the side - WHOA!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey Lisa, you know you and your li''l cutie actually have the same sweet smile? I just can''t get over the two of you. GAH!


So last night DH and I went to a dinner party at the house of an elderly couple (him - 83, her - mid 70''s) who are known for throwing sparkling dinners that run to the wee hours. We''ve been to a couple of them before and they were exhausting but fabulous! But last night the other two couples were young parents. One couple had a three week old, whom they brought along, and the other couple had left an 18 monther and a 5 year old at home with a sitter.

We talked about: Diapers. Feeding. Pregnancy. Doulas. A quick foray into Napoleon''s life on St. Helena. More diapers. The NYC antiquities black market. Sleep patterns. Swaddling. ETc.

Our poor host looked very disgruntled and disappointed. Plus, he was left pretty much out of the conversation. Though his sweet, sweet wife did pipe in once in a while.

I guess what I want to say is... I DON''T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO US!!! I don''t want kids to be the only thing we can talk about or think about anymore.

Is this inevitable, I wonder?

Also, I didn''t feel very maternal toward that 3 week old. DH was all "Awwe LOOK at him!!!" and I was all "Yeah, cute, so anyway getting back to Napoleon..."

Is that normal? Shouldn''t I be cluckier?

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh yeah, and Lisa, if you have five, with those genes of yours, the world will explode from an excess of cuteness. So try to keep it under control, will ya girl?

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

INDY!!!!

What an ego booster you are!!!!!!

What if the next kid''s a dud?

Seriously, I''m realistic and honest I usually don''t fawn over other people''s kids and I never say they are "cute" if I don''t think so.

In fact, I''ll admit I''m not that into other people''s children (I''m probably going to hell for that one).

Unless I do feel they are noteworthy (going to the next level of hell now - Dante would be proud).

Initially you''ll probably blab on and on about baby stuff and apply the same brilliance and tenacity to it as your scholarly pursuits.

Then, trust me it wears-off (at least for me) and you''ll move on to a co-mingling of kid issues and your own interests.

However for some they do get perpetually stuck in the baby/kid world (now reached the 7th circle!). Party why I can''t keep harping on the next best stroller and such.

A stroller''s a stroller it gets the kid from A to B!!!

I think older moms (me) tend to get over the baby thing sooner. At least that''s my observation from my Kindermusik, gymboree classes and just being a mom.

I don''t think it was strange you weren''t into that baby. Maybe he/she wasn''t cute or responsive. Or he/she wasn''t your type.

I never babysat, never held babies and generally didn''t want anything to do w/ them until Olivia.

They just seemed like little blobs (OK in Hell now - ouch the heat!). I actually enjoy Olivia way more now that she''s older.

And if my kid was ugly I guess I''d be straightforward and admit/take ownership of this misfortune too!

 

[erica k]

Date: 6/20/2008 9:30:00 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 6/20/2008 7:17:16 PM

Author: cara

Date: 6/20/2008 12:28:42 AM

Author: erica k

DD--

I think I''m going to go with a midwife and doula, but in a hospital setting. I think if you live close to a hospital and are working with a responsible midwife who knows when to move you (in time) to a hospital, then a planned homebirth should be fine. It''s so interesting to hear about such different perspectives. I knew a 2nd year resident who shuddered at the thought of water births and told my friend that it was a horrible idea. My friend''s reaction was less than positive, mainly because she already believes that water births and birthing centers are the way to go. I''m not going to judge either way. It''s best to be as informed as possible, that''s all.


I would like a minimalist delivery in an ideal world and will hopefully work with someone whom I trust to suggest medical interventions only when absolutely necessary.

''should be fine'' - what additional rate of birth defect/stillbirth/maternal complication or maternal death are you OK with? (above the rate of a hospital setting.) While a licensed midwife/nurse in a hospital setting has low additional risk, there are other choices that have much higher additional risk (home birth, doula-only attending, etc.) The particulars of where and whom attends correlate to dead babies, dead mommies, and birth defects.


My mother''s good friend had a low-risk pregnancy and planned home birth with (what she thought) was a responsible midwife who transported her to the nearby hospital promptly when she noticed fetal distress, but the baby was severely brain damaged because of oxygen deprivation by the time she was delivered by c-section (cord wrapped around neck.) Parents ended up suing the hospital on behalf of their daughter for not performing the c-section quickly enough, and did recover damages, but at the end of the day the parents had a pile of money (insufficient for lifetime care of their child) and a brain-damaged child.


As well, it''s a case where the jury awarded damages for an unfortunate medical outcome that was not entirely the doctor''s fault. The mother''s birth plan decision contributed significantly to the delay in appropriate treatment, a fact she realized only after things had gone horribly wrong. Doctors are not perfect, midwives are not perfect, and by choosing a non-optimum location a mother is taking away a significant amount of safety margin (in terms of physical proximity to emergency care and in terms of continuity of care by having medical professionals observing your progress) for the comfort/convenience/natural-lifestyle/less technical setting of a home birth. If you are emergently admitted to the hospital in distress (or with your baby in distress) the chances of a good outcome are just much lower than if you had started out in the hospital setting and your condition degraded over time at that location.


Sorry, I''ve just had a number of discussions with family members about this. At least with some of my family members, whom have an inherent skepticism of Western medicine, there was a mental disconnect between the fact that Western doctors ''don''t want to take any risk'', and that that risk avoidance actually meant lives saved or lost in certain instances. Western medicine is certainly not perfect, but its imperfections do not mean that avoiding medical care is safer.

Cara I am sorry about the terrible experieces that your family friend had during her birth. However, I''m sure I can regale you with horror stories from hospital births too, it can be a dangerous process. Although anecdotal evidence is always compelling, I choose to follow the research and statistics which clearly show that midwife supervised home births have as low, or lower, rates of intervention and poor outcomes as hospital births *when midwifery is practiced properly and is regulated*. Midwifery in Canada is a government regulated health profession that is as reputable as mainstream medicine. Our socialized healthcare system would not support this option for women if there was any research suggesting that it was not safe. Other countries seem to aggree, and in many places, Scandenavia for example, the vast majority of births take place at home and those countries have lower rates of maternal and fetal death than the US. This is a highly personal issue, so please refrain from passing judgement on my choices, and I will refrain from passing judgement on yours.

Gone for the weekend, and looks like I''ve been missing a bit.

DD and Blenheim--
Big DITTO to both your comments


Lisa--
I''m crossing my fingers for you! Eek!

IG--
I don''t want to spend all my time talking about babies, either. The thing is, I don''t really know anyone else with children. Most of my friends aren''t married or dating. So, I don''t talk about marriage topics, and I''m not really interested in talking about pregnancy/baby topics, either. Not with them, at least.

And yeah, in general, I feel more hennish around kitties and dogs than babies. I find infants to be really boring (and yes, blobby), and I couldn''t care less about strollers and other gadgets. I''m sure my interest in babies will develop in the next few months, but right now, I have other, really important things to think about...

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

How are all you newly preggo''s feeling????

BTW - forgot to mention that w/ the pregnancy attire you actually go up in sizes as u progress.

This was a shocker b/c they tell u to buy your pre-pregnant size then in 3rd trimester I started buying mediums and larges of the preggo stuff!!!!!

A blimp is a blimp.

 

[Independent Gal]

OK, I have GOT to get a grip. All I can think about all day is that stupid spotting. Plus, I have to fly overseas to look after my mom while she has her surgery to remove the tumor in her thymus gland, and it turns out the scheduled the surgery for the day before my scheduled u/s. So I called the doc and asked to move the u/s up to 7wks (since LMP), but if Egg Day was Day 20, the Cub will only be 6 weeks, 1 day, and they may not find a heartbeat. But because I''ll be overseas looking after mom, it will be a couple of weeks before they can check again.

That makes me nervous, because I CANNOT be nervous while I''m trying to look after mom.

I''m nervous about, uh, the possibility of being nervous.

Which is CRAZY! Someone please tell me to take a chill pill.

 

[erica k]

Date: 6/23/2008 6:11:09 PM
Author: Independent Gal
OK, I have GOT to get a grip. All I can think about all day is that stupid spotting. Plus, I have to fly overseas to look after my mom while she has her surgery to remove the tumor in her thymus gland, and it turns out the scheduled the surgery for the day before my scheduled u/s. So I called the doc and asked to move the u/s up to 7wks (since LMP), but if Egg Day was Day 20, the Cub will only be 6 weeks, 1 day, and they may not find a heartbeat. But because I''ll be overseas looking after mom, it will be a couple of weeks before they can check again.


That makes me nervous, because I CANNOT be nervous while I''m trying to look after mom.


I''m nervous about, uh, the possibility of being nervous.


Which is CRAZY! Someone please tell me to take a chill pill.

Whoa, Indy, it sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now. The most important thing for you right now is to keep calm. Both your mom and the Cub will thank you for it!

I''m feeling annoyed because I probably won''t have my first u/s until after we go to Oregon to see both sets of parents (this will be their second meeting in over two years!). I wanted to tell them about the pregnancy then, but I also wanted to make sure there''s a heartbeat before I said anything.

So, this is just to say, I can only begin to imagine how you might feel nervous and stressed about everything, what with the spotting on top of your mom''s illness.

There are so many things beyond our control, and the best we can do is work with what we have, and try to relax about everything in general. Hugs!

 

[Independent Gal]

You''re right Erica! I am not helping The Cub or my mom by being fritzed out like this.

I need to just take my mind off of it.

I was really doing fine until today, and then I just couldn''t focus and didn''t get any work done at all.

I think part of it is that I''m used to my body feeling psycho when there''s something actually wrong. Know what I mean? If there''s pain or I feel exhausted or sick, it''s usually because I AM sick. I know my body pretty well, so part of the anxiety, I think, comes from the fact that I really have no way of interpreting which weird sensations are normal and which aren''t.

I just feel bleuch.

You''re so lucky, Erica, that you''re not getting that many symptoms!

I think what I''ll do is actively take control of my crazy brain''s meanderings, and just NOT think about it, until the ultrasound. Thinking about it does absolutely no good.

OK, here goes! Hey brain! We can do it! We can get control and be normal again!

 

[erica k]

I know what you mean about not being sure about your body''s signals. Unfortunately for me, I''m such a hypochondriac that I overcompensate by shrugging off most odd little twinges and blips on the radar. In the case of this pregnancy thing (and I suppose most things in general), my body knows what it''s doing.

I''m sorry to hear that you''ve been feeling blechy. You''re about a week ahead of me, so maybe I''ll start singing a different tune soon enough.

Today my deep thought was: I hate throwing up, I refuse to do it, I WILL not do it. Hah! I don''t think I have much say about anything for the next nine months. The only thing I can control is the positive thinking, I guess.

I hope you feel better soon. Everyone has their off days where panicky thoughts overtake the sane ones. Thankfully, we have PS.