SIL vent

[aprilcait]

I work for a major hotel chain and, as an employee, get discounted hotel rates for my family, friends, myself, etc. I often have people contacting me for hotel discounts and that is no problem at all. Really, I don''t mind. Some people need me to search for hotels for them, some need me to walk them through how to search for the discount, and others have figured out how to do their own search so they just need me to just fill out the discount form.

SIL contacted me last week to help her get a discount. So, I had to do whole shabang for her: do the hotel search for her, then give her a walk-through on how to do the discount search, and fill out the discount form for her. I''ve been holding onto the darn form since last week (her trip is on Thursday) and I had to actally contact her yesterday to remind her that I still have her form, how would she like to go about retrieving it? Now she''s trying to get me to drop off the form at her house and is refusing any drop-off point ideas I''ve put out there. I''ve filled out discount forms for many family members, friends, etc. and I have never run across this problem. Everyone else takes responsibility for figuring out a way to get the form and I have never had to chase after them to retrieve it. I haven''t received one "thank you" from SIL during this discount hunt process and now she wants me to do even more of the work so she can get a hotel discount. It just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[Kaleigh]

Well that''s rude of her. You do all the work, she should come and get the form. What excuse does she have for not doing so??

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/29/2008 11:59:32 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Well that''s rude of her. You do all the work, she should come and get the form. What excuse does she have for not doing so??

Ditto. That is extremely rude, if it was me, I would flat out refuse to take the form to her, if she wants her discount and it has not yet occurred to her to thank you for all the efforts you have made on her behalf, then she must be the one to come to you to collect the form!

 

[aprilcait]

I hate to say it, but SIL has an entitlement problem. She has a strong personality, and being the oldest of four kids and the only girl... she is pretty accustomed to getting her way. Problem is, I'm an eldest siblng too... so I don't put up well with that behavior.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/29/2008 12:17:37 PM
Author: aprilcait
I hate to say it, but SIL has an entitlement problem. She has a strong personality, and being the oldest of four kids and the only girl... she is pretty accustomed to getting her way. Problem is, I''m an eldest siblng too... so I don''t put up well with that behavior.

Good. You shouldn''t put up with it. Tell her the form is available at your house, and you can''t bring it to her. If she''d like, she knows where to find it.

 

[decodelighted]

Yeah ... she should come to you. And, if she doesn''t, its not a tragedy. She just won''t get the discount. Too bad. Maybe she got so busy the discount isn''t worth her time to pick up the form. Who knows. But I''d just tell her you''re too busy to drop it off (or meet) & if she can pick it up, fine, if not ... oh well.

I wouldn''t call her out on her behavior though -- or compare her to other family members. Especially if this isn''t normal for her. She might just be having a self-centered moment. We all have ''em. Forgive & forget. JMHO.

 

[Haven]

Ditto to all of the about.

Tell her she can come to your office or your home to pick it up. Remind her that you''ve filled out the entire thing for her, and if it''s too much trouble to pick it up, then she won''t be able to get the discount.

By the way--you are a doll for giving away so many of your discount nights! My best friend works for Westin and she saved up her discount nights for us to use ten of them on our honeymoon and it was the sweetest thing ever. We stayed in a $700/night resort room for $89/night, DH just kept on saying that she is a GOOD friend.

 

[Peepa]

Just tell her that you''ll be home at this and this time and she''s "welcome" to pick up the discount, that it is all filled out and ready to use. If she says anything else, just continue to say no. No means no and if you drop it off, she''ll expect that again.

 

[aprilcait]

Date: 7/29/2008 12:22:53 PM
Author: decodelighted
Yeah ... she should come to you. And, if she doesn''t, its not a tragedy. She just won''t get the discount. Too bad. Maybe she got so busy the discount isn''t worth her time to pick up the form. Who knows. But I''d just tell her you''re too busy to drop it off (or meet) & if she can pick it up, fine, if not ... oh well.

I wouldn''t call her out on her behavior though -- or compare her to other family members. Especially if this isn''t normal for her. She might just be having a self-centered moment. We all have ''em. Forgive & forget. JMHO.

I definitely get you''re point Deco. I won''t let myself worry too much over it;. You''re right: "if she can pick it up, fine, if not... oh well".

Regarding the behavior thing, unfortuantely this behavior is pretty standard for her. She can be kind of... princess-y. However, I agree that I shouldn''t call her out on it, seeing as I like my head being attached to my body.

 

[aprilcait]

ElDizzy, Haven, and Peepa... you''re right. I''ll stand my ground on this one.

It''s a shame she had to behave this way. I liked helping people out by way of the discount, but no one likes to feel taken advantage of. Now it''s my responsibility to ensure that I don''t let myself get taken advantage of.

 

[aprilcait]

Date: 7/29/2008 12:23:36 PM
Author: Haven
Ditto to all of the about.

Tell her she can come to your office or your home to pick it up. Remind her that you''ve filled out the entire thing for her, and if it''s too much trouble to pick it up, then she won''t be able to get the discount.

By the way--you are a doll for giving away so many of your discount nights! My best friend works for Westin and she saved up her discount nights for us to use ten of them on our honeymoon and it was the sweetest thing ever. We stayed in a $700/night resort room for $89/night, DH just kept on saying that she is a GOOD friend.

Thank you for the compliment, but I''m not really that much of a doll. We don''t get a set number of discount nights... it''s unlimited. As long as a property is offering an employee or friends & family discount, it''s all good. Your friend should come work at my company.

 

[VegasAngel]

Most people who want hotel discounts are happy to do whatever they need to, to get it right down to begging. She wants the discount let her pick up the form. You are not her personal assistant.

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/29/2008 12:54:15 PM
Author: aprilcait

Date: 7/29/2008 12:23:36 PM

Author: Haven

Ditto to all of the about.


Tell her she can come to your office or your home to pick it up. Remind her that you''ve filled out the entire thing for her, and if it''s too much trouble to pick it up, then she won''t be able to get the discount.


By the way--you are a doll for giving away so many of your discount nights! My best friend works for Westin and she saved up her discount nights for us to use ten of them on our honeymoon and it was the sweetest thing ever. We stayed in a $700/night resort room for $89/night, DH just kept on saying that she is a GOOD friend.

Thank you for the compliment, but I''m not really that much of a doll. We don''t get a set number of discount nights... it''s unlimited. As long as a property is offering an employee or friends & family discount, it''s all good. Your friend should come work at my company.

WOW! That''s a really nice benefit. My friend gets something like 25 per year, so she has to save them up. The discounts are enormous though, so it''s worth it.
She''s been working her way up the ladder at the Westin for so long, I''m sure she doesn''t want to move and lose her position. I''m so proud of her, working in a hotel is STRESSFUL work. You deserve all those discount nights--you need to get away and relax!

 

[Independent Gal]

Can you pop it in the mail? Her behaviour is EXTREMELY rude, but if you want to just avoid the trouble, put it in an envelope and mail it. It will be there in a day or two if you''re in the same area. Problem solved.

But yeah, how RUDE and ungrateful!

 

[aprilcait]

Thanks, Haven! Good for your friend for bustin'' her patootie to reach her goals.

 

[aprilcait]

IndependentGal I was thinking about mailing it to SIL just to get it over with. If she had requested that earlier, I would have done it... no problem. Since we''re so close to the day she leaves, I''m not sure if the form will get to her on time. I might just give it a shot though. Thanks!

 

[aprilcait]

Scorpio You''re absolutely right. Most people who request the discount are very appreciative and automatically assume responsiblity for making sure that they somehow get the form. That''s why I''m thrown by SIL''s behavior. Even my not-so-reliable cousin stepped to the plate and took responsiblity for retrieving her own discount form. Family.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 7/29/2008 1:18:21 PM
Author: aprilcait
IndependentGal I was thinking about mailing it to SIL just to get it over with. If she had requested that earlier, I would have done it... no problem. Since we''re so close to the day she leaves, I''m not sure if the form will get to her on time. I might just give it a shot though. Thanks!

not your problem, its her problem: leave a message saying because she hasn''t been by to pick it up you mailed it.

movie zombie

 

[aprilcait]

I asked hubby if he thought the mail would work and he said that it would be cutting it too close. Darn it! So, I turned my little brain on hyper-speed to think of another solution. I emailed SIL and told her that she could try contacting the hotel to see if they would accept the form via fax. They''re usually BIG TIME sticklers about getting the original versions of the forms, but if you ask nicely and speak to the right person you can sometimes get them to budge. SIL wasn''t happy about having to call on her own but she did and I faxed the form over to the hotel. It''s all over with. Yay!

Next time SIL asks me for the discount, I will make it very clear to her that my policy is: I''ll help you search for a discount, I''ll help you find a hotel, I''ll fill out the form for you, but you are in charge of retrieving it.

Thanks, everyone!