Pregnancy etiquette question re: job interview

[jill_s]

So I just recently found out I''m pregnant (like yesterday!), and I have been in the process of pursuing another job at my current company. They keep putting off the interviews, so I won''t be interviewing for the new position until the end of July. I was recently told that I''m the prime candidate being considered. By the time I get to the interview, I will be about 8 weeks pregnant.

So my question is...should I tell them I''m pregnant during my interview? We don''t plan to tell most people until after the first trimester, so 8 weeks is still pretty early. I really don''t want to tell them, but I also want to be fair. But I also don''t want my interview to be skewed by my pregnany news.

And to throw another kink in the story, we''re still trying to decide if I''ll stay home after we have kiddos (this is my first). So, I could potentially take this new job and only be there for 6-7 months before I decide to stay home.

What would you do? Tell early, even though I don''t want to? Or, take the job and then tell them shortly afterwards that, oh by the way, I''m pregnant?

Any and all thoughts welcome!

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Others will probably disagree with me, but I would not tell them I was preggo at that point. Their decision about hiring you should not be contingent on your childbearing decisions or status, so it''s none of their business! Working in the position for 6 - 7 months is a fair amount of time, and if you decide to go back to work after your leave, it would be nice to have a god job to return to!

Congrats btw! I am currently 5.5 weeks preggo so we will be due around the same time! Come join us in the preggo thread!

 

[sumbride]

Absolutely not! Don't tell them!!! It shouldn't matter at all that you are pregnant, but don't put that info out there. As far as whether you will go back to work after maternity leave, also none of their business. We have had a lot of employees that go on leave and then don't come back, or come back and decide to go part time. It's ok!


ETA: CONGRATS!!!

 

[neatfreak]

Normally I would say don't tell them. BUT I really don't think it's fair if you think there is a good chance that you won't come back after the baby. So if you think that is a large possibility...well then you want to mention it at SOME point, how about not at the interview, BUT if they offer you the job you could tell them before accepting it so you can all work it out together? If you think the possibility of you staying home afterwards is remote, THEN you don't need to tell them IMO. It's only if you would bail after 6 months on the job...I don't think that is a good thing to do unless you want to burn bridges personally...

And congrats!

 

[kcoursolle]

I wouldn''t tell them for now. Wait until you get the job and then worry about the problem then. I think it could definitely hurt your chances if you were to tell them and it''s your business.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/30/2008 6:54:24 PM
Author: kcoursolle
I wouldn''t tell them for now. Wait until you get the job and then worry about the problem then. I think it could definitely hurt your chances if you were to tell them and it''s your business.

Ditto. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.

 

[cara]

Its an illegal question for them to ask, and the only reason for you to share is if you want something from them, such as asking for flexibility or extra leave. But even in that case, you should only bring it up after an offer is made.

The only way "fairness" is an issue is in that you might actually leave this job in 6 mo. Similar to taking any job, if they will invest time and resources into training you, it might leave a bad taste in their mouth if they knew you took the job with the intention of only holding it such a short time.

But assuming you have not yet decided to stay home permanently, you are under no obligation to tell them you are considering it. Just as you are under no obligation to tell them of your reproductive plans (future or underway) until it is in your interest or you will need some future accommodation, like arranging your workload for your maternity leave.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 6/30/2008 6:57:43 PM
Author: cara
Its an illegal question for them to ask, and the only reason for you to share is if you want something from them, such as asking for flexibility or extra leave. But even in that case, you should only bring it up after an offer is made.

The only way ''fairness'' is an issue is in that you might actually leave this job in 6 mo. Similar to taking any job, if they will invest time and resources into training you, it might leave a bad taste in their mouth if they knew you took the job with the intention of only holding it such a short time.

But assuming you have not yet decided to stay home permanently, you are under no obligation to tell them you are considering it. Just as you are under no obligation to tell them of your reproductive plans (future or underway) until it is in your interest or you will need some future accommodation, like arranging your workload for your maternity leave.

Well said.

 

[jill_s]

Thanks, everyone, for your quick responses. I really wasn''t sure what the consensus would be. So, I think the general consensus is don''t tell during the interview, but I might want to bring it up after I get the offer, so I can potentially start negotiations for post-baby work arrangements. I think that''s an pretty fair wait to handle!

Really appreciate everyone being so supportive!

 

[qtiekiki]

I am a bit late, but I agree with what everyone else said so far. I interviewed for my current job when I was around 12 weeks pregnant. I didn''t mention anything about my pregnancy during my interview. When I started the job, I was already around 15 weeks pregnant. I told my supervisor that I was pregnant in the second week of work. Since I plan on returning to the job after maternity leave, there wasn''t an issue. But if I was considering staying at home, I would definitely bring up the pregnancy earlier than that. Because you don''t want to burn bridges.

 

[krisvrn]

Don''t bother telling them, they don''t need to know and it could potentially ruin your chances

 

[Independent Gal]

Legally, they are not allowed to let that affect their choice, so morally, you would have no obligation to tell them (would it make sense if you were morally obliged to help people discriminate against you and violate your rights?)

Now IF you were further along and you were sure you weren't coming back, I'd say tell them after they make the offer and work out if it's best for you to take it. I'd say that would be the way to go if you're 10 weeks or so when they make the offer, and you think it's more likely than not that you won't come back.

But given you're barely pregnant - which means there's a 25% chance that you won't still be pregnant when you would take the job...miscarriage rates are very high, as I'm sure you know! - and given that you may well want to come back, I don't think now is the time to tell them. Besides, depending on your personality, if you have a miscarriage, you may not want everyone at work to know.

That you are pregnant, for the time being, is completely private information that you don't have to share with anyone.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh yeah, and congrats on the pregnancy and welcome to the ''just barely preggo'' PSers!

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/30/2008 6:57:38 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 6/30/2008 6:54:24 PM

Author: kcoursolle

I wouldn''t tell them for now. Wait until you get the job and then worry about the problem then. I think it could definitely hurt your chances if you were to tell them and it''s your business.

Ditto. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.

Thritto. I think that it would definitely harm your chances if you told them at the interview.

 

[LollyBear]

Date: 7/4/2008 7:47:50 AM
Author: bee*

Date: 6/30/2008 6:57:38 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 6/30/2008 6:54:24 PM

Author: kcoursolle

I wouldn''t tell them for now. Wait until you get the job and then worry about the problem then. I think it could definitely hurt your chances if you were to tell them and it''s your business.

Ditto. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.

Thritto. I think that it would definitely harm your chances if you told them at the interview.

QUADRITTO!

 

[miraclesrule]

No, No and NO!!

Way too many people discriminate against pregnant women and I have seen it time and time again in the coporations that I have worked in and with. Cancel the thought from your head right now.

Congratulations on being Preggo!!!

I do not suggest you even bring it up after the offer. You should only bring it up once you can't hide it anymore. Period. (hahah, I mean no periods...

)

I don't want to "belabor" you (pun intended) with horror stories, so please trust me on this one...
Do NOT tell them until you have to, or that offer may just disappear for a lot of rationally sounding business necessities. Not only that, telling people at work too soon, especially if you have unexpected complications WHICH YOU WON"T HAVE, is uncomfortable for you and everyone else in the workplace that are aware of your blessed condition.

My rule...tell the bosses when you are 5-6 months along. Unless you have a boss like me, and then you can tell me right away.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Date: 7/5/2008 6:51:55 PM
Author: miraclesrule
No, No and NO!!

Way too many people discriminate against pregnant women and I have seen it time and time again in the coporations that I have worked in and with. Cancel the thought from your head right now.

Congratulations on being Preggo!!!

I do not suggest you even bring it up after the offer. You should only bring it up once you can''t hide it anymore. Period. (hahah, I mean no periods...

)

I don''t want to ''belabor'' you (pun intended) with horror stories, so please trust me on this one...
Do NOT tell them until you have to, or that offer may just disappear for a lot of rationally sounding business necessities. Not only that, telling people at work too soon, especially if you have unexpected complications WHICH YOU WON''T HAVE, is uncomfortable for you and everyone else in the workplace that are aware of your blessed condition.

My rule...tell the bosses when you are 5-6 months along. Unless you have a boss like me, and then you can tell me right away.

That''s my plan! They are going to think I am getting a little fat, but oh well! hee hee It is none of their business.

 

[divergrrl]

Date: 7/5/2008 6:51:55 PM
Author: miraclesrule
No, No and NO!!


Way too many people discriminate against pregnant women and I have seen it time and time again in the coporations that I have worked in and with. Cancel the thought from your head right now.


Congratulations on being Preggo!!!

I do not suggest you even bring it up after the offer. You should only bring it up once you can''t hide it anymore. Period. (hahah, I mean no periods...

)


I don''t want to ''belabor'' you (pun intended) with horror stories, so please trust me on this one...

Do NOT tell them until you have to, or that offer may just disappear for a lot of rationally sounding business necessities. Not only that, telling people at work too soon, especially if you have unexpected complications WHICH YOU WON''T HAVE, is uncomfortable for you and everyone else in the workplace that are aware of your blessed condition.


My rule...tell the bosses when you are 5-6 months along. Unless you have a boss like me, and then you can tell me right away.

Why weren''t you my boss? You rule!

And CONGRATULATIONS JILL_S!!!!! Lots of sticky baby dust your way, its a great ride!

 

[lovegem]

I won''t tell them. If they decide not to hire you because they find out you are pregnant, they are discriminating against you. you are contributing to the human race by extending our existence. It is a small price for them to pay.

Seriously though, it is unfair to you if they don''t give you the new position because you are pregnant. Keep this to yourself until they see you getting big.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 7/5/2008 6:51:55 PM
Author: miraclesrule
No, No and NO!!

Way too many people discriminate against pregnant women and I have seen it time and time again in the coporations that I have worked in and with. Cancel the thought from your head right now.

Congratulations on being Preggo!!!

I do not suggest you even bring it up after the offer. You should only bring it up once you can''t hide it anymore. Period. (hahah, I mean no periods...

)

I don''t want to ''belabor'' you (pun intended) with horror stories, so please trust me on this one...
Do NOT tell them until you have to, or that offer may just disappear for a lot of rationally sounding business necessities. Not only that, telling people at work too soon, especially if you have unexpected complications WHICH YOU WON''T HAVE, is uncomfortable for you and everyone else in the workplace that are aware of your blessed condition.

My rule...tell the bosses when you are 5-6 months along. Unless you have a boss like me, and then you can tell me right away.

So true!!!

None of their business even if you decide not to return. Most employers factor this in with the general gamble on employees.

A lot of people leave jobs after a few months for many reasons not related to pregnancy anyway.

Some get their medical stuff taken care of and move on.....I would tell when you are ready. Even if that means 2 weeks before the birth!

Congratulations!

 

[jill_s]

I hadn''t checked this thread in a while (probably because I''ve been so tired that a nap''s in order almost every day

, but I really appreciate everyone''s support. I''m still trying to work through if I want to return, so until I have a remotely better idea of what I want to do, I''m keeping my lips sealed.