Potty Training Help!

[Kunzite]

My ODS just turned 3 a month ago and potty training hasn't started AT ALL. A few months ago he was showing zero signs of being ready, trust me I've been waiting for him to be ready! This month he is suddenly showing a ton of signs, waking up totally dry from overnight and naps, holding it and going all at once (resulting in a ton of leaks), and telling me when he goes and demanding a clean diaper.

So everything SHOULD be great, I even have training undies ready to go! Buuuuut he refuses to sit on the potty, big or small, we have both. Do I need to be more patient and just wait him out on this last part? Am I being too impatient?

Today he was dancing around and I could tell he needed to go but he flat out refused and ran away from me thinking I was going to take him to the bathroom. I've tried bribery both in keeping him entertained (do you want to watch the iPad on the potty?!) and as a reward (do you want to pick out a new train tonight?!) and neither worked

Help!

 

[baby monster]

Have you considered going straight to underwear during waking hours? It's messy in the beginning but might be shortest path given your child seems very ready by demanding a clean diaper. You can supplement with small rewards for successes.

 

[Kunzite]

Thanks BM, that was my DH's suggestion too. Now would be a good time because school is out for winter break, but he has surgery scheduled for the day after Christmas. So I'm torn on whether this would all be over in a week or if we'd have to start then pause for awhile.

 

[amc80]

I know a lot of people who have had success with this method-

http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

Maybe worth a look?

 

[packrat]

Would he stand to go potty instead of sitting down? What about one of those seat things you set on the lid-would he sit on that? We automatically tried Trapper on the seat thing and he hated it, so it made it worse for him. He didn't like the step stool either, so lucky me, I got to just pick the kid up in front of the toilet and hold him while he aimed hahaha.

 

[baby monster]

Does your LO have surgery? Then I wouldn't try potty training at the same time.

Some kids train very quickly. I had parents tell me the 3 day method worked for them. It took my LO one couple of months.

 

[PetitiePoire]

My DD is only 17 months, so it's a bit different and still not 100% since she can't talk, but we don't give her the option to sit on the potty or not when we know she needs to go. She now knows we mean it, even if she fusses. Throughout the day she will show us the sign for potty when she needs to go or we constantly ask. We have days where she will say no or fuss a little, but we just take her anyways.

We tried the little potty and own 2, but she prefers the little seat that goes on the big toilet.

Also, as terrible as it is, we used M&Ms as a reward for a few weeks/months to encourage her. Just one each time. Now we don't need them and she doesn't ask.

Another note, we started at bath time and mornings first to get used to it. It's also when DH and I were home together to cheer her on. We didn't worry about the daytime until recently, which is still a work in progress.

 

[Puppmom]

Kunzite, these kids have been keeping me busy but I read when I can. I can totally relate to your post so I thought I would respond. I don't know if I have a lot of advice but, hey, just knowing you're not alone is nice. Right?

N was 3 in July and showed no signs of readiness but would stand at the potty before each diaper change at school. Gradually he started peeing every now and then and by October he was dry at daycare all day...even through nap. All that time he was not potty trained at home AT ALL. Wouldn't go near the potty and during our negotiation/struggle to get him there he would pee his pants. He would literally be dry all day at daycare then pee his pants in the parking lot on the way out. Then demand that I take his wet pants off! it was becoming obvious that it was just about control so we took a break. Just two weeks ago we decided no more pullups at home (except at night - he's still pretty wet in the morning) and he's been great. I probably could have insisted he pee on the potty at home for those two months that he was completely trained at daycare but, honestly, I didn't care enough to do it. That might sound horrible but now that we have another, I just don't have the energy for the power struggle so I just waited until he seemed really ready.

Now, pooping on the potty is not going well. Not going at all actually. He tries but he can't. We've had nights where he rushes to the bathroom and sits for minutes and can't go. He'll do this on and off all night. Then ending up pooping in his pull up in the middle of the night. After several days of the that happening he became frustrated and tries putting a pull up on himself when he has to poop! When I ask him what he's doing, he says he needs something to cover his butt. Tonight we put his bedtime pull up on and he immediately hid behind the Christmas tree and pooped. He came out and said, "I need you to clean me. It's a big one. Like a boulder. You should get a bag."

My points are...I can relate. It can take a while for some kids. I wouldn't sweat it especially with the two little ones around.

 

[baby monster]

Puppmom, we had the #2 struggle as well. My LO would only go at night into the diaper no matter how many times we put him on the potty. Went on for couple of months after we had #1 down with no issues. I finally told him that he's going to bed without a diaper and that got through to him. He started going #2 in the little potty and then the toilet with the reducer. This happened right around 3yo so definitely a power struggle.

 

[monarch64]

He came out and said, "I need you to clean me. It's a big one. Like a boulder. You should get a bag."

Omg, Puppmom! I just died laughing!

We are gearing up for 3 day potty weekend. Scheduling is a bit of an issue at this point, but I'll let you know how it goes if this thread is still active by then. Could be weeks...could be months. LOL

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

people thought we were crazy, but at 19 months my daughter was showing signs she was ready to use the potty- we tried the 3 day method... didnt work. At 21 months she refused to keep a diaper on, tried the 3 day method again...it worked!! Its messy, gross, but I really think it works if the child is ready (and parents are ready to embark on a journey of deep cleaning!). We used a healthy food reward for when she did get a "hit" on the potty and that kept her motivated. We also kept a travel potty with us at all time. Highly recommend the 3 day method! My son is almost 2 and has no interest whatsover, but we will use the same method when he is ready.

Best of luck with your sons surgery- i hope he has a speedy recovery- it may be best to hold off until after that so you dont have to stop and start again

 

[Skippy123]

I know a lot of people who have had success with this method-

http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

Maybe worth a look?

I don't have a lot to add except we are doing this over the Christmas break.

I wouldn't try PT after a surgery; Miles just had hand surgery a few weeks ago so we held off until now. I think surgery is stressful and throwing PT in the mix can be rough, but just my opinion. I hope he has a speedy recovery for his surgery.

 

[Kunzite]

packrat, that is so funny! I wish he would let me do that, I would be game

Pupp, it's so good to see you!! That N of yours is hilarious! I'm sorry to hear you're going through this too. What you said about just not wanting to deal with it now is one of the reasons I think I'm being impatient. I feel like people look at me with pity, like she has too many kids no wonder that 3 year old isn't potty trained! Which isn't the case! I have the time to work with him, he just doesn't want me to So I'm going to try harder not to let other people influence me. There are a few kids in his class that aren't potty trained so they work with them at school but he won't sit on it there either. I guess peer pressure isn't working!

PP, we already have E sitting on the potty too at about 17 months. I actually started sitting him there as a way to get O to do it (he loves to do what E is doing) but it didn't work for long. Now he just tells me, "No way! Elliot sit on that potty, not Ollie!!" Sigh. We're going to keep working with E though. My DH used to joke that we had our kids so close together so we could potty train them all at once. Too bad M is behind or he might have been on to something!

amc, Monarch, lucy, and Skippy, thanks so much for recommending the 3 day method. I really look forward to following your progress!

I think I'm going to hold tight for now until he is recovered from his surgery and just casually mention it here and there. I did manage to bribe him with a new car yesterday but as soon as he sat down he started to panic. Not a manipulative, I don't want to do what you say panic, a real one When I picked him up his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. So sad. I need to figure out how to get him over this fear.

 

[pancake]

We've just done the cold turkey/3 day thing with our 22mo. For the first couple of days we had not a lot of success and then all of a sudden on the third she started saying, "Mummy, toilet time!" or just taking herself to the potty. She still wears a nappy if we go out for a meal as I think having a potty out in a restaurant or cafe is inappropriate and she's not great at holding it for very long yet. But it doesn't seem to cause any confusion. Will probably start putting her in underpants in the next couple of days, it's been a week since we started TT now.

Re O, kunzite, I think he's at a developmental stage where the bigger a battle it is, the more he'll dig his heels in! So I would probably leave it for a month or 6 weeks and then try again. If he is mobile enough (which I'm pretty sure he is!) I probably wouldn't bother with the potty, just straight to the toilet. He's also old enough to wee standing up rather than sitting down, if that is helpful. A friend of mine's son likes this: http://www.productreview.com.au/p/weeman-little-boy-s-toilet-trainer.html

My friends' experiences in this older age bracket have often been that one day, the LO decides, that's it - no more nappies - and that is that.

I would also get him some super-cool big boy underpants and talk them up - not as in, "Wouldn't you like to wear these?" but more, "These are for when you're a big boy and are ready to use the toilet"-type thing. Is he rewards driven? If so - stickers or even M&Ms (shudder) for each successful toilet trip. But he's got to want to try first! You definitely cannot make a 3yo want to do something.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Kunzite-I feel your pain!

B joined our family when he was 2 years and 8 months. New family, new language, new everything! Talk about loss of control for an almost three year old! and he was semi potty trained (basically he'd only poop on a potty, but he'd pee anywhere anytime on anything

He was TERRIFIED of big toilets but was also TERRIFIED of not pooping in the toilet. We scoured the childrens stores in Addis Ababa and got him a small potty. He was happy to sit on that (with bribes of lollipops/toys/etc.) Poop was fine on his little potty, but pee took another year an a half before he was daytime potty trained and he just got nighttime potty trained this fall.

He's still afraid of big toilets and will only sit on them with his reducer seat (he's 5 now!).

For him, what we learned during potty training was that when he was truly ready (which was often months after he seemed ready) it would click and he'd be good to go with only a few accidents. I keep telling myself this now b/c if it doesn't hold true, he's going to be taking his reducer seat to college

Now we are working on what happening if you have what my DH calls a #3 (when you do #1 and #2 at the same time). B can not process it and tries to stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, and ends up with pee on the wall and poop on the floor. Kind of hilarious if he wasn't freaked and it wasn't a huge mess.

 

[Puppmom]

Just wanted to second what Bella said. N just started pooping on the potty out of nowhere last week. I guess he was just ready.

Bella, the number 3!

Over the weekend N asked me why I was peeing from my butt because pee is supposed to come from your penis. Ah, life with boys!