Perfect age difference between siblings...

My brother and I are 3 years apart and were planned that way. Although we have very little in common now and don't speak to each other much as adults, that rift happened during our teens/20s, and we played well together when we were kids.

My sister and I are 15 months months apart and we LOVE it. We vehemently insist that we are the best sisters in the world. We're best friends and have been for most of our lives. We had a rough patch somewhere in there (9-11yo?) but it just made us love and value each other more.

To each their own, but my relationship with my sister makes me want children close together in age. When the time comes, I will do my best. My next door neighbor from childhood is going to have Irish Twins- one born in January of this year, the next is due in November...!!!!

Written by qtiekiki » August 23rd, 2010, 5:05 pm:I haven't read through all the responses.

I thought the "perfect" age gap is 2 years, but 18 months is working for us. My kids are 18 months (and 2 days) apart. So far, it's been great. Meena isn't a very mature 2 years old, but she is pretty independent. So she is fine playing by herself, and occasionally she will play with Jaron. She'll make faces at him, pat him, bring him toys, etc, and he just adores her, giggling and smiling at her. Two in diapers had really been an non-issue. You change one, then the other. No big deal. Before Jaron was born, I was extremely worried about jealousy. But so far, that hasn't been an issue either. Yes, Meena will sometimes tell me to put Jaron down or to play with her, but it's normal. I can't wait until they can interact more.

I have two sisters. I am in the middle. Older sister is 25 months older than me, then other sister is 18 months younger. I am pretty close to both of them. My two sisters are close, but probably not as close as I am to either of them. They fought more growing up too, but it was more of a personality issue.

Now that they are almost 4 and 2.5, I will answer again. They have a very classic big sister/little brother relationship. J will do stuffs to get on M's nerves. They fight and throw punches. Lots of whiny, complaining and crying. And then other times, they are hugging and kissing, and are just best buds. I see a lot of their personalities coming to play now. M is more mellow, and more willing or easier to convinced to give something that they are fighting for. She is more of a pleaser. J is more stubborn, and has to do things on his term. Anyways, I think the perfect age gap should be based on what is easiest for the parents, their sanity and being able to provide the best care and attention for both kids. The relationship among the siblings is unpredictable, as personalities will have more effect than age in the long run.

Well we ended up getting pregnant in September so our sons are 28 months apart in age. Now Hunter is about 3.5 and Ryder is 1!

When Ryder was born was perhaps the worst possible time to have a kid in Hunter's development He went bananas in a few areas, just as part of his normal developmental trajectory I think. His sleep was TERRIBLE when we got him out of the crib, which happened to be about 6 months before Ryder was born. Hunter was an easy two year old but has been an incredibly challenging three year old. The sleep and opposition were the worst. Toilet training was fine, though another thing to deal with. For us, the newborn was simple -- easy baby, second time parents, no problem. But adding the second kid meant sleep deprivation and irritability and only one person to deal with the older screaming wil maniac child at a time. So the first 8 months after Ryder was born were hard. Really hard. But Hunter has started changing and entering a new phase, and Ryder sleeps though the night now, so things are better. I often wondered if waiting would have been easier. I think if Hunter had been a little over three when Ryder was born -- so year later -- that first year would have been easier. But, then the kids would have had a bigger gap. And I think in the long run being two years apart in school will be better for them.

Oh, and one other thing that's negative about our timing. Daycare costs are crippling us. We pay $2000 per month for two kids. We will have that expense for two years, and maybe one year would have been better. Again, short term pain, long term gain. I guess

I love that some of the original posters have come back with real life perspective after having a second child. Since DH and I are on the older side as first time parents (mid 30's), our age will factor more into how we space kids than anything else.

I've already lost my mind but I have three all 2 years apart (within 2 weeks for the first two and a month for the last two)
I love it. I wish I was able to have another in 2010 and another now in 2012 but we couldn't
my kids fight but they also play well and love each other.
I love having them semi close in age

I am a SAHM so no day care costs.
I think it was good for us between 19-22 months my first two were in "big kid beds" and completely out of diapers so I didn't have to worry about that