"Just Barely" Pregnant PS''ers

[monkeyprincess]

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JGator, yeah, 9 weeks is really early to try the doppler. So much depends on anatomy and the position of the babies and just plain luck at that point. I'm neurotic, and never should have tried it that early. I would definitely recommend waiting until Monday if you can. No sense in stressing yourself out. So sorry about the itching. That must be so annoying! And I can totally relate to the panic and anxiety when you're sick and can't sleep and are looking ahead to the full pregnancy and having a newborn(s). I had the worst cold of my life around 13 weeks, and I broke down a couple times wondering what I had gotten myself into and DH had to talk me down from the ledge. So hard to be rational when you're not sleeping and stressed out and miserably sick. You'll be better soon, and it won't always feel like that. I promise. I found out that one of my babies has borderline high amniotic fluid, and I nearly had a panic attack that night. My belly was so tight and huge that day, and I started wondering how I'm going to make it until late June/early July if I'm as big as I am already with babies measuring large and extra fluid. Sometimes pregnancy (even a very much wanted pregnancy) can feel suffocating. Feel better soon, and I'm so hoping for great news on Monday!

 

[JGator]

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MP, thanks for checking in and validating my suffocating feelings. I had a few episodes when pregnant previously so that was freaking me out too that the anxiety was back. When I go on Monday, this will be around the time that I found out I had a MC back in 2011 as far as being a little over 10 weeks along. So, it will be a big milestone if 1 or both are okay on Monday. I called a Verifi genetic counselor today, and she said they like you to wait 2 weeks after a mc if there are twins and one doesn't make it, but even then, you could pick up the dna from the one twin and the results will be negative indicating a genetic issue. So, I am at least prepared now that if we do get bad genetic results from the bloodwork next Monday that it might just be the one smaller one skewing the results, if that makes sense and then we'll do the CVS a few days after we get the results. I found out we should get verifi results a week after they do the bloodwork. Sorry to hear you had a scare with the fluid levels. It must really be stressful to worry about 2 babies, and to get so large because there are 2 in there. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I am rooting for you.

 

[Lavender_81]

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JGator, I definitely hear you on panicking about the lack of sleep once the baby gets here. Some days I find myself excited, but most of the time I'm so nervous. I just feel like my son (E) is a great sleeper and sleeps through the night and I'm going to start this all over again?! I'm exhausted now, I can't imagine once the baby is here how I'll feel. E was colicky and months 1-4 were miserable - we couldn't take him *anywhere*, he screamed in the bouncy seat, car, swing, stroller, arms, EVERYWHERE, and I'm terrified that will happen again, but this time I'll also have E to take care of! I keep telling myself people do it, but I definitely have also had moments of complete anxiety and sheer panic. How are you feeling otherwise?

I've been feeling mostly good. Which worries me, of course. I'm so hungry, and then I get shaky if I don't eat, but if I do eat I don't feel well either. My morning sickness has been improving though, and hasn't been bad at all (famous last words, I know), so now I feel like any comfort I had in seeing the ultrasound a week ago is gone and I worry the symptoms have been decreasing because something went wrong.

I'm starting to show a little, which is a bit disconcerting because I didn't show until at least 14-16 weeks last time, and I'm not even 9 weeks yet now! I can't decide whether or not to tell my mom this weekend (we're spending all weekend with her, so if I'm not feeling well I think she would know). Also it's Passover this weekend and we're supposed to drink 4 cups of wine and I usually love wine, so she'll for sure know something's up once she sees me avoiding the wine! Last time I didn't tell her until 12 weeks because I wanted one more ultrasound to make sure everything was ok, but I feel like if I had to go for a D&C I would likely end up telling her anyway... so maybe I *should* just tell her now? I don't know. DH isn't much help with deciding, he says he'll do whatever I want.

This week I've found myself irrationally angry at my company. I knew this all along, but was thinking about how they give no paid maternity leave. Additionally, they don't even offer an option to us of any type of short term disability. So it's just 12 weeks of holding your job for FMLA and that's it. I had looked into getting my own short term disability policy, but every company I asked had said they don't do individual policies, they only offer through company/worksite options. It's just so upsetting, and while I knew this when we were trying to get pregnant, now that I actually am I'm just angrier about it (hormones??) . I don't want to go back sooner than 12 weeks, but I know I'll put all this pressure on myself to go back sooner because it's hard on one income with 2 kids and we want to buy a house in the next year. We're already saving as much as we can (other than the necessary expenses), we don't eat out or go out much, and it's not that we *can't* afford for me to be home for 12 weeks, but it's just such an added pressure and stress. Makes me so angry that I can't even get any sort of short term disability for any part of maternity leave to at least help out a bit with expenses.
Ahh ok, sorry, *vent over*. Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[Lavender_81]

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Also, MP - sorry to hear about the somewhat high amniotic fluid - that must be nerve-wracking, especially when you're carrying twins. How are you feeling otherwise??

I realize I sound like an irrational crazy person at the end of my last post, so I apologize for that. Rough week at work, so all of it has been a bit compounded this week. I have acupuncture this afternoon, so hopefully that will help relax me

 

[JGator]

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Lavender, I think in your situation you should maybe tell your mom. You are not high risk, and you saw the heartbeat. Otherwise, you will have to makeup an excuse about being on medication or having a migraine? If you think an excuse would fly, go for it. We are not telling anyone for a long time, but I am MUCH older than you, and have a lot more reason to worry about a negative outcome. We actually just got an invite to our Japanese friend's house for a dinner in April, and she said they are going to order sake from NYC in honor of it. I will be making something up big on why I am not drinking if all holds up well with the pregnancy! I also totally feel the same about worrying about our daughter, and how she will get less attention going forward. I try to tell myself that she was lucky to get as much time as she has had being an only child. But, it will be a HUGE adjustment for her. She LOVES babies, and I know she would be a great big sister, but she also is a huge Mamma's girl and it attached to me at the hip so she will not be thrilled when she is not my only focus. I worry about that a lot. And, lack of sleep is the biggest worry as K did not STTN until 14 months. I know that won't happen again as I'll do something sooner, but I worry that it will be difficult to set up new habits up front with a new child since my experience is all around the child who didn't sleep and who was high maintenance in that area! I am with you 100%. That is totally unfair about STD at your company. I work for a huge company, and we get either 8 weeks or 10 weeks STD paid by company insurance depending on if it's vaginal or c-section. I took 12 weeks off with K and I felt guilty because someone was backing me up, and she actually told me the date when I was coming back - she had calculated the date for me. I talked to her a few times at the end of the maternity leave when I was thinking of extending it because our nanny fell through, and she made me feel like I HAD to come back because I was inconveniencing her. I am a manager and she had to help run my team, but I know my team did a lot on their own without any help from her, she just acted like it was such a HUGE amount of work. So, I came back right at 12 weeks and had my mom fly in for a couple weeks to be our nanny before ours could start. And, then she trained the nanny for us too!

So, I am going to be 10 weeks tomorrow. I think you are close in days to me, but your due date is a week later. We had the IUI which I am calculating as O day on 2/6, and my due date is 10/30. I guess that's 38 weeks after the IUI/O. Maybe you are further along then you think???

We are having out of town company this weekend so I'm excited that it will help distract me from thinking about our ultrasound which is Monday. I'm Catholic and will be celebrating Easter with my husband's relatives who are all Indian and don't celebrate Easter or probably eat the food I plan to make so we'll also order Indian food. Wish me luck with the weekend navigating blending cultures!

 

[luvsdmb]

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Saturday I did a urine pregnancy test that a friend brought home from the lab, it came back very faint positive. So I would have had to be 50 for that test to register. I must admit I was a little excited.
However Tuesday afternoon I started bleeding, so I went ahead with my lab work per my doctor. I just found out today the HCG Quant was 6 on Tuesday.
I have to go tomorrow and have another quant drawn. Which I won't get the results until Monday afternoon.
I haven't had any cramps since the bleeding started, I have had more clots than normal. I'm not sure if this was a MC or what?

I'm a little sad, but at the same time I really need to have my hernia surgery in two weeks. This has brought up the fact that my husband and I would have been happy to be having another baby, but health wise it could have been a disaster for me. So we might try after I am fully recovered from surgery.
I'm 39 with three kids a 12yr,11yr and almost 3yrs. So don't be sad for me, like my husband says we are happy with what we have. I think the fact that my two older kids are from a previous relationship so my 3 year old is my husbands first child and he never "got it" what the big deal was with babies, until he went through it, he now understands how great babies are. To be there from the very beginning.

It's been nice to share here, considering I only told my Mom about this yesterday.
I hope everyone has a healthy pregnancy, and I will continue to follow your journey

Thanks

 

[aviastar]

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I'm glad you seem to be handling the news so calmly , luvs. Don't be afraid to be sad! We can know that logically things are working out for the best and still be heartbroken that it must be so. Get healthy and then get your tush back in this thread, Mama!

 

[choro72]

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I'm so late to congratulating, but I've been reading! Congratulations Aviastar and JGator!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!! I'll be looking out for your update on Monday JG!

 

[monkeyprincess]

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JGator, I'm thinking of you today!!!

 

[Lavender_81]

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luvsdmb - I'm so sorry for your loss - even if for health reasons it wouldn't have been great timing, it's ok to have mixed emotions. Glad to hear you're handling it well so far, but know we're here if you need to talk.

Thinking of you today, JG!!

 

[aviastar]

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Checking in for updates...thinking of you, J!

 

[JGator]

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Hi. Back from doctor. Good news we have one baby with a heartbeat. The smaller one was no longer beating. So I am relieved that this is not dragging out assuming there was a genetic issue with the smaller one. They took a ton of blood, and said I should know something in 2 weeks on the genetic testing. I had to wait over an hour to see the doctor, too. Long wait.

 

[Lavender_81]

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Kept checking all morning/afternoon - relieved to see your update!

I'm very sorry about the smaller baby, how are you handling the news? I'm so happy to hear you saw the other baby's heartbeat though, and that baby is doing well!! I'm sure there are some mixed feelings and emotions, so I hope you're doing ok... *hugs*

 

[monkeyprincess]

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JGator, first of all, I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of one of your babies. Even though you were prepared and somewhat expecting this outcome, I know it still must be hard. At the same time, I'm sure it's a relief that you are no longer in limbo. With my miscarriage, when I just knew things weren't going to end well, it was a relief to at least no longer have to constantly wonder what the outcome would be. One of those bittersweet situations for sure.

However, I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well with the other baby! I'm praying everything comes back okay with the bloodwork and the loss of the one baby will not complicate the results (and that these next couple weeks fly by for you!)

 

[aviastar]

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I can't imagine the very complicated emotions you must be having right now. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll be keeping you and baby in my thoughts!

I am, also, very happy to hear all is well with your larger twin! When is your next appointment, after the bloodwork comes back?

 

[JGator]

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Hi, I just got home. I had 2 doctor appts today -the other was for my ears so I typed that last post from my phone between appointments. My next appt with the ob is in a month unless I have any issues between now and then. I am re-thinking whether I want to stay with this ob. I was going to switch to a high risk doc if the twins were going to be viable, but thought I would stay with this doctor otherwise. After waiting so long today, and last time, I am re-thinking just switching to high risk anyway due to my age and prior thyroid issue during pregnancy. I think this doc is a little too hands off. For example, he has never printed an ultrasound picture. I heard the heartbeat today, but he doesn't measure it and tell me anything about it. He still seems to think we can figure things out after we get blood work results in 2 weeks. He said if there are boy/girl twins we'll know which one has an issue, but how does that help us if I don't know if it's a boy or a girl who passed away?? He also said if there is a trisomy detected, depending on which one it is, we can just wait it out as many of them resolve themselves before you would deliver. More limbo???? I don't want to be overly cautious, but I also don't want to miss something because he has a relaxed attitude. This is a different ob than where I delivered K because we moved, and I didn't want to commute 45 mins min each way to see my old ob practice. I might just see if I can get into a high risk doctor earlier than a month from now. I still have an appt for CVS on 4/17 which I didn't even tell the ob about.

MP, Avia, and Lavender thanks for checking in on me. I appreciate it.

I have had complicated emotions about this for a while now since we found out that one was much smaller. I do feel relieved to have some closure. I am of course scared that the larger twin could still have a genetic issue, and I feel like I am down to one last hope for a baby. My research says I should get the genetic results back in a week - not sure why the doctor quotes 2 weeks also. Uggh!

 

[Loves Vintage]

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JGator - I am sorry to hear of your loss and also sorry to hear you feel unsettled with your doctor. Chances are that your baby will be just fine. You have to keep reminding yourself of that. So, would this doctor be the one to give you your blood work results? In my area, you get sent to the high risk specialists to have the Materni21 or any other specialized testing done. Is the high risk specialty practice where you have your CVS scheduled? Will you have the detailed ultrasound that usually goes along with the blood work at this stage -- sorry forgetting the name right now.

 

[JGator]

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LV, hi , the regular ob sends the bloodwork out - I think he said verifi and progenity which I think are the same test/company. So, I could get the results from him over the phone next week assuming it takes 1 week and not 2. The CVS is with a MFM practice, but they don't deliver babies. When we did the CVS with K, they did the NT scan first and then the CVS on the same day after you talk to a genetic counselor. So, I have one option of a MFM ob practice who delivers babies and doesn't just work with your OB or there are a couple high risk practices that work with your ob. I don't think I want to do that though. I called the place where they do MFM and deliver, and they were already closed today - after 4pm. I do believe the baby will be fine. That is where I am struggling - am I being overly cautious or not - should I just go with the flow of this ob and not be worried about the details as he certainly isn't but it's not his baby, either!

 

[Loves Vintage]

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Thank you, NT Scan!! So, you will have that the same day and they will have the results of your blood work there too? Somewhere along the line this time around, someone told me that invasive testing is much less frequent these days due to the additional testing available. So long as you will talk to a genetic counselor before the CVS, I think you are good on that front. I totally understand the need for more information!!

As you may have noticed, I tend to switch drs all the time, so I'm probably not the best for giving advice there, haha!!!

 

[JGator]

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LV, I will get the bloodwork genetic results from my ob in 1-2 weeks - he said 2, but I read one week online in my metro area. I made a CVS appt for 4/15 assuming I will get blood work results next Monday, 4/13 and could cancel if all is normal. I don't know what is going to come up though with 2 in there mixing around in the dna pool. So, I still could cancel/postpone the CVS/NT I guess if I don't get the bloodwork results as early as I would like. I just think the twin factor is going to skew the results, and we'll need the CVS to know for sure who has a problem if there is one, and it concerns me that the doctor doesn't see that as an issue yet!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

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JG_I have been thinking about you today and am glad to see an update from you! I imagine it is very bittersweet and complicated processing this.

I am sad for your loss.

I am thrilled for your strong little bean and hope that everything goes smoothly with the rest of your testing and pregnancy. Truly, all the best wishes!!!

 

[BrightSpot]

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Jgator, I'm so sorry to hear about of the loss of the smaller twin. Big hugs to you. I'm glad that happened sooner rather than later both for your wellbeing & so that it's not risky for your other bean. For me, once I knew things wouldn't have a positive outcome, I was relieved (though saddened, of course) when they finally resolved.

I'm so glad the larger twin is growing well. I hope your genetic testing results come back quickly & are reassuring. Thinking of you & continuing to send tons of dust & prayers your way!

 

[Lavender_81]

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So last week I had the smallest bit of spotting, and since then a lot of my symptoms have gone away/decreased (and also had a migraine a few days ago, which really worried me because when I'm pregnant is the only time I DON'T get migraines...) Also have been having bad cramping in my stomach and back the last few days, so I've been extra worried.

I called my doctor yesterday to get results of bloodwork from a few weeks ago, and when speaking with the nurse practitioner I mentioned all of this and she offered for me to come in today. I didn't know whether or not to say yes, because I know I might just be overreacting and my doctor already knows I'm paranoid and anxious about everything (and this time I wasn't even trying to ask for an appointment to come in!), but once she offered I wasn't going to say no.... So I have an appointment this afternoon to make sure everything is ok. I'm really nervous. I don't know if she's going to just tell me I'm fine and send me on my way, or if she'll do an ultrasound, I don't think she would be able to hear with a doppler at this point yet (about 9.5 weeks), so I don't know what will happen at this appointment. I hope she checks to make sure everything is ok, and I hope she isn't upset that I'm there when really I don't have any specific reason to be there.

I decided if the baby is ok, I'll tell my mom tonight. If not, then I guess I would tell my mom anyway, but under different circumstances. I just hope it's all ok...

 

[monkeyprincess]

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Lavender, I'm glad you got the ultrasound. Most likely all is well, but so much better to put your mind at ease rather than worrying about it and stressing out. I think 9.5 weeks is a pretty normal time to have symptoms decrease as your HCG peaks around 8-9 weeks and starts going back down. Keeping everything crossed all is well!

JGator, I think that if you are doubting your doctor, you should trust your gut and find somebody you feel more confident with. It's still so early, so no sense in sticking with someone that isn't a good fit for you. I've really liked both my prior OB and my current MFM, and I can't imagine how it would be if I doubted their judgment. So, with the CVS are they able to isolate everything to just the healthy baby or would the other baby's material contaminate that in anyway? I'm just really hoping you get unambiguous good results back!

 

[JGator]

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Lavender, I am glad you are going in. I know a lot of women on here have had some spotting and everything has turned out to be fine so I'm sure that will be the case with you. But, there is no need to be stressed if a simple visit/ultrasound can help alleviate your anxiety. Hugs to you. When is your appt? I will be checking back for your update.

MP, on your question, yes, they take a sample from the placenta so I assume they can pick the placenta on the one that has the heartbeat as they can do it on twins. I am trying to get in to another doctor but it may take a little while -see below!

Bright and Bella . Nice to hear from both of you. I am feeling okay - I think I had enough time to process it already. It is more a relief now to have some closure that we are moving ahead with 1 baby.

AFM, I called the office that has MFMs that also deliver and they took my insurance info and said they will call back in 2 days with an appt time if they take my insurance and accept me as a patient! I can't believe it. But, I'll wait it out. I know they take my insurance as I already looked them up - they are in network. I have a feeling it's going to be more than a month though before I can get in. But, still it's good to have a backup plan in place. I got my regular blood lab results today, and my TSH looks good - it is down to 1.67. So, I'm contemplating cancelling my endocrinologist appt for Thursday which I had to wait 2 months for. Decisions, decisions!

 

[JGator]

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Lavender, how did the appt go?

 

[Lavender_81]

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Appointment was good! She couldn't find the heartbeat on the Doppler (which she had warned me would be very unlikely anyway at 9.5 weeks) so she did a quick US and baby was squirming around! Feeling much better now and happy I went. Now I can enjoy any time without nausea and not assume the worst (for the next day or so anyway )! Hopefully it's smooth sailing the next 3 weeks till my 12 week ultrasound...

JGator, I think it's smart to switch doctors if you're not comfortable with the current one. I'm sure no matter what you'll be nervous (seems to come with the pregnancy territory, especially after all you've been through to get to this point), but if you're already having second thoughts about your doctors it's definitely worth trying to find a new one.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

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lavender, so happy for you!!!

 

[JGator]

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Lavender, I am so happy everything is okay. I'm sure you were holding your breath until they found a heartbeat. Let's make a pact to keep each other calm going forward!

 

[JGator]

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I got an appt with the high risk ob/mfm for 2 weeks from today. So, I'll decide after that if I want to switch practices. Thanks for all the advice/support. Glad to know I will get another ultrasound in 2 weeks instead of a month!