I have babies on the brain

[LizzieC]

So I think a combination of all the pregnant PSers, our first close couple-friends getting pregnant, and having one of my sister''s best friends have a baby, has me really thinking about when we should start our family. DH and I both look (and act

) younger than we are, so I think it''s been easy for us to just kind of avoid thinking about this, but the fact is that biologically and chronologically, we''re not as young as we think we are... He''ll be 29 soon and I''ll be 26 soon. I know that''s not old, but it''s not young either.

I''m starting my second year of law school, and probably the best time to have a kid, if we wait until after I graduate, would be about 2 years into a job. In the long run, career-wise, I would like to be a solo practitioner so that I can set my own hours and work only as much as I want to (I''ve chosen a field where this is actually possible). But I think I would like about 2 years of experience with an organization before I do that. If I wait until I theoretically "go solo" to have a baby, then we''re talking waiting 3-4 years minimum. And I just don''t know if I want to wait until I''m 29-30 to have our first baby. We definitely want to have at least two kids, and I''ve always wanted to be a young-ish mom. So, as of late, I''m contemplating having a baby before I graduate.

Basically, I''m taking (and have already taken) a boat load of hours so that I can have a really light load my last semester and graduate a semester early. But I''m thinking that instead of graduating early, I could take a semester off, have the baby then (God willing), and then take two evening classes my last semester. By my calculations, I could have a full 10 months basically "off" after I have the baby and before I actually start a job.

The downside of course would be that I would have to find some really wonderful childcare for the 2 years I''m working before I go solo. I had always thought that I would like to be a SAHM while my babies are babies, but now that I''m actually enjoying the work I am doing, I don''t hate the idea of working while they''re young so much. Of course, that might change once I actually have the baby. Fortunately DH has flex-time, so foreseeably, we''d only need someone from 9:00 to 3:00. His company is also talking about starting an in-house daycare center, which would be very convenient. DH''s opinion on the subject is that it''s up to me since it''s my career.

So... that''s the story. I appreciate any opinions and insight! I always seem to think about this stuff right around final exam time... gotta get back to studying!

 

[mrssalvo]

Hi lizzy,
I know it''s hard when surrounded by a bunch of baby ladies to not want one too. I didn''t have my first until I was 29 and you still have plenty of time. Once you have a baby it''s really hard to find the time to do a lot of things. I wanted to stay home full time and had already been working and finished with my schooling. I personally would have had a very hard time leaving my newborn all day to go to work. It''s a very personal decision that has no right or wrong answer but I''d suggest finishing law school. Being mom is hard and demanding and their is a lot of lack of sleep the first 2 years. trying to work/study full time during the day and come home to an infant and then be up in the night will be a big handful. Some woman can do it with no problems, I just wasn''t one of them. Good luck though, having a baby is a wonderful thing.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 8/8/2006 11:40:11 AM
Author:LizzieC
So I think a combination of all the pregnant PSers, our first close couple-friends getting pregnant, and having one of my sister''s best friends have a baby, has me really thinking about when we should start our family. DH and I both look (and act

) younger than we are, so I think it''s been easy for us to just kind of avoid thinking about this, but the fact is that biologically and chronologically, we''re not as young as we think we are... He''ll be 29 soon and I''ll be 26 soon. I know that''s not old, but it''s not young either.

I''m starting my second year of law school, and probably the best time to have a kid, if we wait until after I graduate, would be about 2 years into a job. In the long run, career-wise, I would like to be a solo practitioner so that I can set my own hours and work only as much as I want to (I''ve chosen a field where this is actually possible). But I think I would like about 2 years of experience with an organization before I do that. If I wait until I theoretically ''go solo'' to have a baby, then we''re talking waiting 3-4 years minimum. And I just don''t know if I want to wait until I''m 29-30 to have our first baby. We definitely want to have at least two kids, and I''ve always wanted to be a young-ish mom. So, as of late, I''m contemplating having a baby before I graduate.

Basically, I''m taking (and have already taken) a boat load of hours so that I can have a really light load my last semester and graduate a semester early. But I''m thinking that instead of graduating early, I could take a semester off, have the baby then (God willing), and then take two evening classes my last semester. By my calculations, I could have a full 10 months basically ''off'' after I have the baby and before I actually start a job.

The downside of course would be that I would have to find some really wonderful childcare for the 2 years I''m working before I go solo. I had always thought that I would like to be a SAHM while my babies are babies, but now that I''m actually enjoying the work I am doing, I don''t hate the idea of working while they''re young so much. Of course, that might change once I actually have the baby. Fortunately DH has flex-time, so foreseeably, we''d only need someone from 9:00 to 3:00. His company is also talking about starting an in-house daycare center, which would be very convenient. DH''s opinion on the subject is that it''s up to me since it''s my career.

So... that''s the story. I appreciate any opinions and insight! I always seem to think about this stuff right around final exam time... gotta get back to studying!

some thoughts:

1-it might seem easier to be a mom rather than a student when it comes time to pass those exams.

2-its a good time to be evaluating your goals and priorities as you complete a phase.

stating the obvious: you may not be able to get back to studying if you''re a student mom: babies just don''t keep to your class/exam schedule much less your career time line. you may be lucky and have a wonderful, easy pregnancy....or you could be so sick the entire time you can''t go to class much less study and take those exams [i was on mandatory bed rest for the entire first trimester]. and let''s not forget the colic baby, teething baby, baby that doesn''t want to sleep at night [that was me], baby with food allergies, etc. and, of course, taking the baby for check ups and then there are those babies that just aren''t very happy campers after their innoculations.

your hubby has stated already that it is your career. this seems to indicate that while he may want children and is supportive, ultimately, there will be a sacrifice on your side of the equation. there are many joys to being a mother, but don''t underestimate the time and energy it will take from your other career.

good luck!

movie zombie

 

[galeteia]

This really hits home for me, Lizzie, because lately I''ve been having some ''baby talks'' with FF myself. (I misunderstood things and thought he was recanting his previous ambivalence towards children. This prompted a bit of distress on my part, because what bigger issue than kids/no kids is there? Eventually we sorted it out, and while neither of us is happy about it, he''s made his choice and I can only hope he won''t regret it later.) But back to your issue at hand...

I''ve done lots of soul-searching and have come to the conculsion that for me, juggling career and children isn''t possible. When I''m working on something, I don''t notice that I''ve been doing so for 18 hours straight without answering the call of nature, and I wouldn''t notice the phone ringing, someone at the door, or the baby crying. I love my work and it brings meanging and fufilment to my life, and for me, it''s either children or a career. I can''t have both. I do know how much work children are, and even if I could stand to not raise my children myself (which I can''t bear) I won''t be making enough money for my FF to be a stay-at-home-dad. So for me, children means kissing my career goodbye. I would make that sacrifice if I wanted to become a mother, and I would risk gambling my life (major health problems that would jepoardize my survival should I try to carry and give birth) if I really wanted children. But I don''t. The health risks just keep going up and up as we age, and I have realized that by the time my career is established I will be in my mid- to late-thirties, and kids are not a safe option for me at that point. I am an all-or-nothing kinda girl, unfortunately.

So while my decision is different from yours, I sympathize with the timetabling issues and the career timeline vs childbearing years issues, because I''ve mulled over them myself, and again very recently.

If your DH''s workplace does start an on-site daycare service, that could make things much easier. If you are one of those people who can handle juggling infant careers and infant children, I take my hat off to you-- it''s amazing and more than I could do!

Best of luck!

 

[LizzieC]

Thanks for the advice and support

DH and I had a long talk about it this evening, and he thinks we should wait too. As do my parents. Everyone has pretty much given the same (good) reasons that yall did. Mostly, that babies aren''t easy, and they don''t follow schedules, and while we''ll hope for the best, there is no guaranteee that I''ll have an easy pregnancy... my mom didn''t. And it would be best career-wise to be able to devote myself to a job fully for those couple of years and not have a toddler at home to worry about. And 29 isn''t that old. So I guess it is settled. But it makes me very sad knowing that it''s going to be 3-4 years.

Galateia- I understand how you feel about it being all-or-nothing. My mom stayed at home with us always, so it''s hard for me to imagine not doing the same. But I''ve also been in school for freaking ever, and I kinda feel like I better have spent all this time and $ on school for a reason. But I do think that I can pull off part-time work (on my own schedule), especially when the kids are in school. That''s why I''m not shooting for a high powered big firm job or anything like that. I just want to be able to put all this education I have to use doing something I feel is valuable.

 

[movie zombie]

LC, old saying: good things come to those that wait. given your school and career plans, those years are going to speed by before you know it. and you''ll have all your options, including being a stay at home mom should you so desire.

btw, good luck on those exams!

movie zombie

 

[scarlet16]

Oh Lizzie-
I am having the same dilemma! I''m also a law student (about to start my 3rd of 4 - I''m a night student w/ a full time job). I hate that I''ll be so much "older" when I''m having my first but I honestly don''t see how''d it be possible any other way. I already decided to put off our wedding until after I graduate because I don''t want the stress of exams/class/bar to get in the way of planning. 30 is HONESTLY not that bad though for starting to have kids.

It''s a tough path we''ve chosen to balance career-wise and mommy-wise. Thing is I love what I do so I don''t think I could just stay at home. We''ll see.

 

[dani13]

I think you are making the right decision, Lizzie. I can't imagine having a baby and trying to finish up school and do well with it?!! Insanity! You are young, so you are lucky, time is on your side, no problem with waiting a few years...I don't think you will regret it...

I live and work in NJ as a labor and delivery nurse in a major medical center. They recently published an internal report on all of our statistics at our hospital. Granted, demographics has a lot to do with it, we are in the NYC metro area, but the median age of a woman at our center having her FIRST baby was 30.4. That may seem "older" to you to begin childbearing, but I have to say, it is very common-place, It is 2006, and women are more career- oriented and more focused on getting that part of her life established before having children. Because honestly once you do, its not about you anymore, its about them. FOREVER.

Even though I want children eventually, I dont feel like I am ready yet...I will be 29 when I get married, so I too will be in my 30's once I get going, But that's ok to me, because I can honestly say I am not ready to give myself up yet...I am sure being a parent is wonderful and I am looking foward to it, but I still feel like there are some more things I have to do before I take the plunge....

Good luck!!!

 

[appletini]

LizzieC,

Spend some time with your friends newborns and be around while they are crying and change their dirty diapers and then you won't mind waiting at all. Enjoy being at the age where you and your DH can babysit and then give the kids back to parents. You still have so many childbearing years ahead of you, so no need to rush. My mom was 37 when she had me and I'm the only. I personally think early 30s is a good age to start. Plus this will also give you and your DH time to do things that you want to do like take lots of trips, etc, without having to make special arrangements. Also they say that 50 is the new 30, so you still have a long time to be young.

ETA: some people tell me that I should have them sooner so they will be out of the house sooner, and I say no, I'm not going to wait 20+ years to take long European vacations, etc. I want to do all those things now, and know when I have children, that I took the time to do everything that *I* wanted to, so that I won't feel like I'm missing out anything once I do have them.

 

[rainbowtrout]

appletini: that is EXACTLY what I do when I get baby-moony. They''ll be looking all cute and then they just let out a godawful skriek and don''t stop... try studying through THAT!!

My basic decision now is that if we have an "accident," we''ll figure out a way to deal with it. Not having an abortion when I can support myself and have a solid B.A. If I can choose the time..well, I''d like to do it around 28, but FI will be starting residency, so it may either be 26 (last 2 ys of dissertation) or 32-34 (end of Assistant Prof years). But all that depends on so much....like whether (and WHERE) he goes to med school, whether I get a job...

In other words, things change--you may feel very differently in a few years. My friend in law school has also put off her wedding due to exams....unfort children cannot be "put off" in the same way.

 

[IrishAngel7982]

I just wanted to offer more support for you Lizzie! I read your post but didn''t reply right away, but I think you''re making the right decision. I''m biased on this issue because I saw what it did to my cousin and his girlfriend...EVERYTHING was put on hold. Now the baby is almost 16 months, my cousin is still trying to finish his Master''s and work to support his family, while his now fiance stays home with the baby and never finished her B.A. I think you''re making a wise decision in waiting for children. Like Appletini said, take the time to do things you need to do first. Once the baby comes, you won''t be jetting off for two weeks too easily. Good luck!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Lizzie, just wanted to say that I think your plan sounds excellent! If a woman desires, there are many options to combine motherhood with a part-time career. My desire is not to reach the top of some corproate ladder or win a Nobel prize, but I have deeply rewarding work which I do part-time and I have had the blessing of having 3 children. I feel that I had balance that has worked great for our family.

 

[Small]

You sound like you''ve got a good head on your shoulders and have made a wise decision for your life. I was 30 when my daughter was born and 31 when my son was born. I always thought I''d have children much earlier in life but I was late finishing school and getting into my career so I had to get that out of the way so I could then devote time to my children. I never aspired to be a SAHM. I am now and while I love it there are days that I wish I was back out in the workforce again. It will be a difficult task for me to get a job being out for 6 years by the time my son goes to school. Being a 30 YO mom is still very young. I''ve tried to take some classes to go on with my graduate degree but being a mom always ''gets in my way'' so to speak so I''d advise you to wait until you are through with your education. When taking classes I had pangs of guilt while being away from my kids and couldn''t really find the time I needed to devote to studying because I felt like it was taking away from the kids who wanted my attention. You really are doing the right thing!

 

[DonaBella]

Hi,

Just wanted to share my thoughts on this...I love my kids and as much as I love them, I feel if I had it to do again, I would have waited at least 2 years to become a mom. Those beginning years as a couple--let alone a student like in your case--are crucial and need all of your attention. I very much long for alone time for myself through out the day and to be with my hubby..just he and I...even if we are doing nothing but watching tv together.

With 7 kids still at home(two are on the verge of leaving very soon, but that still leaves me with 5 at home), I have a ways to go before I can live that fantasy, but I will love every second of it.

A baby is so amazing, so awesome and so demanding. They have their own schedule. Even the best natured baby--and I had about 2 or 3 in my brood--still has moments when its basically to hell with what is going on with you, your deadlines or wants, you HAVE to give all of yourself and I do mean ALL of yourself to that baby. And we are talking about non-eventful pregnancies with babies that have no problems. I had one preemie and that was so stressful on all of us. Even though your DH has expressed support to you, it is a whole different arena when baby is here. My DH was in college and we had two by his graduation. His schedule was work, work and work. He helped alot despite his schedule, but I was the main nurturer and the one who had to get up with our little ones so he could rest to go to work.

My advice is to use this time for school and also to carve out some groundrules for the foundation of this much anticipated future family. Decide and get it down on the computer or on paper how you both want things to go with his and your involvement as parents. Work out the snags of difference of opinion NOW so it is smooth sailing once the little ones are enroute.

I wish we--DH and I--had done more of this. It would have saved a world of worry and miscommunication as we have been rearing our kids. Just food for thought from a lady who has birthed 9 kids and is still able to talk coherently...well, most of the time anyways...

 

[diamondfan]

Deanne, you are way MORE than coherent and I admire you so much.

Lizzie, I have three kids, and I had my first two while in graduate school. My first was a preemie, and my second had major and I mean major colic. So, the first time, I was in the middle of a semester and had to take incompletes...he was due at Christmas, well into my break, and decided he was ready 6 weeks early!!! I went back, made up all the incompletes, and then had my second, a bit early (3 weeks, but I had taken the whole trimester off to avoid a repeat). Meanwhile, he was soooo colicky and up all night (midnight to 6:00 am, when my oldest would appear at my bedside announcing the obvious, Mommy, I awake now!)...I had to study, research and write 35 page papers, go to class, food shop etc (thank god for my nanny is all I can say) and I thought I was going to die from the exhaustion. My dh was traveling a lot in his business and was not home much, and I was super stressed out. Only plus was I had no time to eat and lost all the baby weight plus a bit too much more, and I was thin as a rail in about 4 months. I had black circles under my eyes and looked like a walking corpse...I would fall asleep reading and fall out of the chair. All this to say, my hubby had a good job and I could afford full time help, but I was still on the hook for most everything, and I still had two kids and a house to run. I did graduate, with a 3.97 GPA and honors, but boy it was a tough time. I had no time to just chill with my kids or enjoy things, I always had a paper to do or chapters to read...so I think you are wise to step back. You are admitting to the baby lust, but allow it to pass for right now, and it will, and when the time is right it will be the most amazing thing in the world for you both!

 

[akw94]

Lizzie,
I think it''s great that you''re thinking about these things and trying to figure out what is best for you. I had my son before entering law school and so he was about 3 when I started law school. It was tough! Luckily, I had a lot of family support but even during your last year while you may have less classes, it''s still law school and it still takes a lot of time and effort, which you would have to then balance w/a baby. There''s also the issue of studying for the bar. This is a full time job in itself and lasts a couple months. It would be very hard w/a little one who needs a lot of attention from you. Then you''ll just be starting your career w/the baby and at a time where you may need to put in extra hours, you''ll really want to put in fewer. I have been lucky that when I first started, my hours were great so that I could attend school functions, go on field trips, etc... Now, they''ve increased but my son is a bit older. Of course, if it''s what you decided, you CAN do it, but just be aware that it''s tough...much tougher than you can really imagine.

Also, just wanted to throw something out there from someone who''s been practicing for a few years. Don''t rush to go solo. Although it can certainly be your ultimate goal and is very attainable, get the knowledge and skill you need while w/a firm (or whereever you choose to work). I know a lot of people who went on their own early and it was just too early. They really didn''t have enough knowledge or practical skill of the law and procedure. Before you do this, talk w/many attorneys who have done it so you can get a realistic idea of what it''s about. I''ve found most atty''s are very willing to talk and share their experiences. Although you set your own hours, you also have to hunt down your paycheck and it''s not as easy as it seems, especially for a younger atty w/fewer contacts. Anyway, just things to consider down the road.
Sounds like you''ve already made the baby decision, and I''m sure it will be the best one for you. I know what you mean about always thinking about the very difficult issues when you''re the most stressed, e.g. studying for finals. I have a tendency to do that too. Good luck to you!

 

[lovelylulu]

hi lizzie,

I have a similar situation and came up with a similar plan. I graduated law school when I was 27 and now i''m 28. I''m not one for feeling the need to adhere to some strict plan in life, but, when it comes to having babies, some thought goes into it. Unfortunately, both my husband and I have a decent amount of student loans, so we figure that we would need to work roughly 4 years or so in orer to be in a stable financial situation. For my DH and I, this is really important. Babies are expensive and so is higher education

...So I''m thinking more along the lines of 32. To me, that honestly seems pretty young, but the majority of my educated/professional female friends aren''t even married yet, so my opinion may be skewed.

I did know a number of women that decided to have a baby while in law school. For them, they figured that they would never have more personal time or a more flexible schedule then when they were students. while there is truth in that, I personally could not have pulled it off.

 

[bee*]

I think that you''re making the right decision holding off until you finish law school. 29 is still very young to have your first baby in 2006. I am 24 now and am going back to college for the next 5 years so ff and I have put off baby plans for at least another 7-8 years which thankfully we both agreed on even before I found out that I have my place in veterinary. I think its important to get your degree and to do travelling and whatever else you want to do out of the way before you have a baby, as once the baby is here it is so much harder to do things for yourself, especially getting through college. When you have your first child I''d say that you will be happy that you waited those extra few years until you have finished your degree.

 

[Allisonfaye]

I can''t comment on the law school aspect but I can comment on the age thing. I was 40 when I had my first and 42 when I had my second. I would have preferred (or so I thought) to have started younger but as luck would have it, I didn''t meet my DH until I was 37. I wasn''t sure I could even get pregnant.

For both of us, this turned out well. First of all, we traveled a lot both before and after we got married. So we got some of that out of our system. We will travel more when the kids get older but for now, we are enjoying being with the kids. Both my mom and my MIL commented on how much we enjoy our kids. I think it is because we don''t feel like we are tied down to them because after years of singledom, we really both WANTED them. We had done most of what there was to do.

My mother, on the other hand, (the opposite extreme) had her first at 19, then 22 and 25. She was constantly leaving us with sitters because she wanted live her own life...and I think it affected us in a not so good way. Obviously, you are older than that, but you get the idea.

The downside is, our kids our much younger than their cousins. But I am meeting more and more families that wait to have them until they are older, where before, I felt like the oddball.

I guess there are pluses and minuses to everything.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

 

[rainbowtrout]

My stepmother had my stepbrother at 20, and my grandmother had hers at 20 and 22.

I do notice a differance in how adjusted the children ended up being and how often the moms left them to "do their own thing."

My stepbrother picks up on the fact that my stepmom resents him for basically making life hard for her and would rather not have had any children. I don't think she really means this but it is hard for a kid to hear. My parents had me later (32 and 34) and have never said anything to indicate I "got in the way" of their lives.


So in a lot of ways (having less energy excepted) living your own life first I think can be a big help.

 

[LizzieC]

Thanks for all the advice/opinions/stories y'all. I appreciate everyone's perspective. I've kinda been avoiding checking this thread because I'm still sad about the whole thing. And of course, now I'm seeing pregnant women and babies and little children EVERYWHERE! I also didn't realize how often DH and I talked about kids in the abstract, until now, when I'm trying to avoid talking about anything kid-related so that I don't have to think about it. At least once a day I have to stop myself from saying "when we have babies..." It's just sad and a little pathetic.

I understand everyone's point about doing all the stuff that you can only do when single now (i.e. traveling, partying, etc.) and getting it out of my system while I can rather than trying to have my own life after I have a kid... but the problem with that is that I/we don't really do any of that. Ever. By choice. DH, the doggies, and I are happy homebodies.

We're really only waiting because of school/career. And I do enjoy what I do/what I will be doing. I just hate that I have to put the rest of my life on hold for so long, when what the heck does it really matter in the grand scheme of things, you know? And this is my second graduate degree, so I guess I don't feel the same urgency about it that I might if it was my B.A. or something. I guess it's obvious that I'm still very conflicted. So far the only person who agrees with me on this is my hairdresser!

Deanne- Thanks for your advice about getting things down on paper... I think that's a brilliant idea

 

[dani13]

Lizzie-

I am sorry you are feeling this way- it stinks that you are so torn over the issue. I always say though, that no matter what advice you get and what you may think is the "right" thing to do, you should always follow your heart and do what you want to do if it makes sense. And if you and your dh really want a child, then screw what you "should" do, you know? You need to do what makes you guys happy- life is too short.

Re: your hairdresser agreeing with you- LOL!!! Isnt it funny how hairdressers/other service people etc. know EVERYTHING about our lives....you know women tell their hairdressers EVERYTHING!!!!! My hairdresser knows so much about me... and I swear my old personal trainer was also my therapist- even after he stopped training me, he still called me to find out the most recent drama in my life!!! I was like, "gee. I guess my life is really interesting..." I swear I am going to write a book one day....

Good luck!!

 

[MelissaSue]

Lizzie.. yeah. I thought you were about 22. And you are older than me.. hehe..

I do not know about Texas.. but what about the Bar exam and stuff?? Would you want to be doing that when you had an infant? My friend just got married purposely a few months BEFORE she had to start studying for the bar exam because she and her husband did basically NOTHING else for the three months leading up to it..

I''m sure it can be done though.. and if you really want a baby.. then you can make it work if you want to! Anything is possible!

Another thing to keep in mind is that you can''t always plan exactly when baby will be born!

 

[MelissaSue]

We''re really only waiting because of school/career. And I do enjoy what I do/what I will be doing. I just hate that I have to put the rest of my life on hold for so long, when what the heck does it really matter in the grand scheme of things, you know?

So. I totally didn''t read the whole thread before posting. I never do.. I suck at message boards.. lol

Anyway .. that little tidbit I quoted up there.. GOSH do I know what you mean.. When I was in college.. I went into this FUNK where I didn''t want to be in school anymore.. all I wanted was a family.. I wanted to be married and have babies.. I would walk to classes everyday and almost cry because I wanted all of that so much.. I felt exactly what you are saying... that my life was on "hold" while I was in school.. My sister had two beautiful children and never went to college (she still didnt'' have her first baby til 29.. but thats irrelvant).. and I just wanted what SHE had.. But I was stuck in school..

Really I was not ready at that point to be a parent.. I was 20 or 21 years old.. but I still felt that way.. Now I *AM* ready.. I am just waiting for my husband to be.. He says we can start TTC at our one year anniversary.. And then whenever I refer to us as having a baby "soon" he always has to point out.. that its not "that soon.." The poop..

 

[ephemery1]

Lizzie, I'm not quite at your point yet, as our wedding isn't until next May! But I do understand that desire to be a mommy... for as long as I can remember, it was the main thing I wanted "to be when I grew up". My current graduate program will end next summer when I'm turning 28, but I have to do 2 years of full-time supervised practice before I'm eligible for licensure. I need that to do private practice, but I REALLY don't want to wait until I'm 30 to start trying for kids... plus my FI's cousins have 2 little ones and we want them to grow up together! So in another year or so, I think we'll be in a similar spot to you... weighing pros and cons.

Only you and your husband can know what is right for you... but it does seem like having kids sooner than you'd planned could result in a LOT of undue stress... which could hinder your ability to truly enjoy that time with them. Just my initial thoughts... but mostly I just wanted to say that I understand that desire. In fact, I think my fiance is even more anxious to be a parent than I am, now that he has his cousin's babies to play with... he has already decided he's going to buy me one luxury baby item of my choice when I get pregnant... Burberry diaper bag, etc... and last night he was telling me he'd already planned our "Babymoon". And he refers to our first son (whenever that may be!) by name, daily. Silly but SO cute... these are the reasons I'm marrying the guy.