I am not too old to learn

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Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Skippy » December 2nd, 2011, 7:10 pm
Bless your hearts. I will keep you all in my prayers you can get help. :halo: Let your wife know I have you all in my prayers. Sending hugs and good thoughts. Is there a state program where you can get help for her? Ugh I am so frustrated for you and wish I could help you beat on some doors at that agency to get the little one help. ;(
Skippy




http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/files/1896249wrr738gi7w.gif

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by VRBeauty » December 3rd, 2011, 7:18 pm
Joe - hugs and prayers to you, your wife, and these children.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VRBeauty
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by vintagelover229 » December 13th, 2011, 10:09 am
Hello again Joe!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I wanted to make sure that what I was writing would indeed be able to help you instead of "oh I'm sorry that's normal for them to do" which isn't helpful at all!

I have spoken to our friends who have fostered over 130 kids-and they currently have 3 right now (and they are a long term home and have adopted. They also have their own kids all who are well adjusted and great kids). Anyways I have heard of younger kids spreading their bowl movements on the walls before-but really had no advice or idea on how to handle it so I spoke with her and she told me it's very common and they usually grow out of it.

She said to not respond in anger (remember as a child if you didn't get any attention-negative attention was better than none at all. So doing stuff such as that and acting out got them attention) and to just clean it up and to reinforce toilet paper and using the potty. She did say they usually grow out of it and it's usually a sign of sexual abuse ;(

She said you could use positive reinforcement (never food but things such as a sticker chart and after a weeks worth of stickers they can go to the $ store and pick out a dollar item) and to just clean it up and continue to show love and support in the best way you can. Social services are poorly staffed, over worked and under appreciated with a high burn out rate (because after you see enough abuse that your hands are tied to stop you really do lose hope in the system and just get burnt out like any normal person with a heart would).

Please don't give up on the children. They aren't fully developed enough to understand just how much you are giving them and what you are offering them. If I were you I'd see if there is a support group for foster parents and you can go there and share your experiences with them and get feedback. They have many of them though churches-but you might find one though social services. You also might check to see if there are forums that help with these types of issues-they would probably have better resources and ideas that they may have tried. Doesn't hurt to check.

She was asking me for background info on the kids-she asked if you had gotten that at all (meaning you know the why they were removed from the home-vs just knowing that they were removed bc of abuse/neglect) because knowing the history does allow a small window of understanding and can be helpful in terms of how to deal with the issues that will arise from it in the future.


Thank you again for taking the time and effort to open your hearts and homes to these children. I wish there wasn't a need for homes and that parents would be responsible and loving and amazing providers for their kids-but alas we live in times where sex is sold as *fun* (I'm not disagreeing with that just there is a lot of responsibility that comes from having sex) and many kids are the byproducts of this and many people aren't ready or willing to put aside their lifestyles and selfish ways (and many of them are unhealthy and don't even begin to have the tools it takes to become a functional and healthy parent for the child) for the benefit of the child. Most kids raise themselves.

One of my earliest memories was under 5 years old crossing a MAJOR road (it's so major that they've now tried it into a highway and removed that traffic light) to go to the dairy queen to get my mom a slushy for her hangover. I would be with whoever was the babysitter sometimes for days because my mom would just disappear and not come back from partying for days. After a while she had a hard time finding sitters since she wouldn't come back :rolleyes: I was 3 going on 30 and I'm sure the young kids you have feel the same way.

She also mentioned that many times their sensory receptors are off. Meaning that they can't stand or really the way certain things feel. Some kids freak out in the bath bc the wash cloth texture freaks them out. Some kids spread their feces bc they like the texture (she suggested supervised play dough play time to see if that's the case).

Anyways-I hope at least some of this helps. Just keep on doing your best-it's more than they have ever known and as long as you continue to love them and be consistent with how you handle things they'll level out. You'll have issues pop up here and there but hopefully with love, positive reinforcement and teaching them proper communication skills you can roll with the punches as they come along.

God bless you and your wife and I'll continue to check this thread when I can.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » December 23rd, 2011, 7:59 am
Skippy
There are several options of help for her. We just need the "authorization to treat" to move forward.
VL.
It all helps, thanks. My guess is that if she knew what sticking up just her middle finger meant she may do that instead.

To all of you, just two words,
Thank you
Joe
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » December 23rd, 2011, 11:21 pm
We took the kids to HHS for a visit with "mom" today. They were very happy to see her and we were happy for them. She signed the consent to treat forms we needed to get the kids some much needed help. We also received an information packet with the long term care options. (Hey, it is close to Christmas and I must have been good) She ("mom") filled out a questionnaire about her actions while pregnant with her youngest child (who I call the baby). I am sure she left a lot out, but even if she told the truth she should be put in prison. Up until today I have tried to be what some may call compassionate or understanding toward the kids "mom". Well that ended today. That dirty, rotten, no good, stinking women showed up today +20 lbs and wearing maternity clothes. (I hope I've jumped to the wrong conclusion)



The kids have acted as if they didn't know about Christmas, the real reason or the Santa part. They will understand the Santa part very soon, the birth of Christ is going to take us time to teach.

My son and his wife are still going to Cairo tomorrow, we won't rest easy until they return.

Thank you God for giving me so much, please forgive me for wasting so much of it.

Merry Christmas
Joe
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Skippy » December 27th, 2011, 2:58 pm
I hope you and your family had a nice Christmas Joe.
Skippy




http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/files/1896249wrr738gi7w.gif

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » January 11th, 2012, 5:45 pm
The girls didn't reply to any of my emails so we didn't have a chance to see them before Christmas. I'll keep on trying.

We had photos taken of the kids and put them in frames to give to their mother for Christmas at their last visit. The baby turned two a few days ago and will start speech therapy next week if "mom" will sign the paperwork. The kids will have a visit with her today if she shows up......(that no good rotten women was seen with a newborn child while at court, I may see her today, if she shows up) After the kid's first evaluation we were instructed to get the youngest two into preschool as soon as they would take them. We gave our two week notice to the day care provider for the baby and she started preschool monday. Her speech "class" will be at the same school. So, so far so good, hey we're doing things as we were instructed. Monday I got a call to inform me that they (HHS) are not going to pay the preschool as they said they would and I need to workout payment with them (the preschool). The past due balance is $3586.40. The preschool will cost $400.00 dollars a month more than the "reimbursement". So I have a choice, I could not close my shop 2 hours early everyday to pick up the kids, stop fostering and I could pay MY CHILD'S mortage or I can keep fostering. What would you choose? Really if you had that option what would you rather do?
At times fostering the kids can be tough (I'm ok with that) but dealing with the system and the "parents", well I think I may have had my fill of them.

Yes I know, now it's the me me me I I I crap from me but doing this could be gratifing insted of frustrating and it's starting to damage my relationship with my wife.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by PetitePoire » January 12th, 2012, 12:00 pm
Oh gosh Joe, I'm so terribly sorry this has been so rocky recently. You have definitely had your fair share (and more) of rotten "parents" so please don't feel bad needing to cry me me me. You deserve you time too!

You have already given those children a piece of a real life that I know they will look back on and cherish one day. Even if you can't continue to be their long term home just try to remember that. Nothing you have done has failed them. It sounds like the system and their parents have by not being able to provide the adequate funds they need.

As hard as it would be, I know in my heart I would have to choose my husband and kids. Those would both be things (marriage and child rearing) that I made the decision to do and I would be determined to give my all to them.

Best of luck to you and your family.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by vintagelover229 » January 12th, 2012, 12:17 pm
Written by hay joe » January 11th, 2012, 5:45 pm:The girls didn't reply to any of my emails so we didn't have a chance to see them before Christmas. I'll keep on trying.

We had photos taken of the kids and put them in frames to give to their mother for Christmas at their last visit. The baby turned two a few days ago and will start speech therapy next week if "mom" will sign the paperwork. The kids will have a visit with her today if she shows up......(that no good rotten women was seen with a newborn child while at court, I may see her today, if she shows up) After the kid's first evaluation we were instructed to get the youngest two into preschool as soon as they would take them. We gave our two week notice to the day care provider for the baby and she started preschool monday. Her speech "class" will be at the same school. So, so far so good, hey we're doing things as we were instructed. Monday I got a call to inform me that they (HHS) are not going to pay the preschool as they said they would and I need to workout payment with them (the preschool). The past due balance is $3586.40. The preschool will cost $400.00 dollars a month more than the "reimbursement". So I have a choice, I could not close my shop 2 hours early everyday to pick up the kids, stop fostering and I could pay MY CHILD'S mortage or I can keep fostering. What would you choose? Really if you had that option what would you rather do?
At times fostering the kids can be tough (I'm ok with that) but dealing with the system and the "parents", well I think I may have had my fill of them.

Yes I know, now it's the me me me I I I crap from me but doing this could be gratifing insted of frustrating and it's starting to damage my relationship with my wife.



HUGS! I wish I had words of wisdom to give to you Joe but I don't. The system is broken and they don't care about the suffering of the families that are out there helping these kids who need it-and the mother is ill herself to realize just want a gift you are giving to her and her kids.

I know you go to church so I would ask you to seek out help and ask the church for help. Find someone to pick up the kids for you and watch them if you can for a few hours while you are at your shop. Talk to your wife about her feelings and what she thinks should be done and how it should be done and make time for her (write little notes telling her how much you appreicate what she does for the kids-that she looks beautiful. I'm sure you do things like this already but if your feeling this way-I'm sure she feels the same and as a mother who feels like her wheels are spinning in place and going no where its exhausting and frustrating).

May I ask what state you are in? I can talk to my adopted parents and see if they'd be willing to chat with you over the email or the phone to give you wisdom from the other side of things. I put those good people through he** and I'm sure it strained their marriage too-if your interested. Let me know if that is something you or your wife would like to do (my mom would probably be more than willing to offer an ear and advice to your wife) and please please please don't give up.

Have faith-the Lord will provide. He never said the road would be an easy one-but He does promise to carry us when we aren't able to carry ourselves. Draw your strength from the Lord when the troubles of this world try to bring you down-you are doing an amazing thing by taking in these kids.

HUGS!
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » January 26th, 2012, 3:17 pm
Still no contact from the girls. I may have to use the grapevine again.

"mom" missed three visits again but made it to the meeting with HHS and us. She was able to make it to a visit a few days after the meeting. She spoke for several minutes with us about her childhood, what a shame. She could be a good liar, if so than I am a sucker. She did not have a newborn child with her.

Vl, It's a tough spot we're in.(just to give some insight) The first two weeks in December I was late to open, closed early (before 3pm) or didn't open six out of the ten work days (kids were sick). My wife took two weeks off to watch the kids around Christmas and new years. Last week I missed work monday, had to leave at 11:00am on wednesday and noon on friday due to sick kids. (they have a history of poor health) This friday school will be closed so I will have to miss work that day also. That alone generates a substantial financial impact. And lets face it, if I wasn't self employed I would be unemployed because I miss so much work. When our son was young we had the option of his grandparents helping when they could with the pick ups, drop offs and sitting at times, but they are in their mid and late seventies now. Three kids can be a handful at times and they didn't sign up to be foster parents, we did. (my words not theirs and please don't take that that the wrong way, they care for the kids a great deal) It's not a case of giving up, it's just math. I'm not a wealthy person. We have not quit trying to find ways to make it work and we don't want them to leave us.

We are required to implement all things deemed necessary to maintain and or improve the kids mental, physical and emotional health. While at the meeting with HHS I asked them if I can choose not to give the kids the medication that was prescribed for them? Their answer was No! My next question was, is mental health as important physical health? Their answer was yes. I told them by putting the girls in preschool we are following the written instructions given to us by the psychologist and results of the evaluations. I offered them copies of all relevant paper work and they refused to take it.

Soon we will have some tough choices to make. It hurts already.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by TooPatient » January 30th, 2012, 3:16 pm
Joe,

You and your wife are wonderful people. You've helped these kids in spite of their mother and the system working against you. I hope that something works out so that you are able to keep making progress with your kids.

Hugs to you and your wife.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 7th, 2012, 10:29 pm
I used the grapevine and got a little info about the girls. They are ok and their Mom is still on track.

My wife requested more hours at her work and got the ok to do so and I started working weekends to take care of preschool and make up for missed work during the week.

The kid's fill in social worker forgot about a visit with "mom" so she called me so I could "handle it". She, the "fill in" called me yesterday and asked me if we were going to adopt the kids... "If your not I'm going to place them with somebody else" My answer...If you have someone younger, that's wealthy, that's looking to adopt 3 kids, 2 being "drug babies", that wants these kids, that loves these kids then you let me know...I want what's best for them. What do you want? Her answer...I just need an answer. Come to find out she is helping to prepare the "folder" for court and they look better if a "plan is in place" before asking to have parental rights taken away. I called the kids attorney to remind him that the court date was comming up soon and asked him if he was going to meet the kids before the hearing. He said he might have someone contact us about that. What a joke, no, what a shame.

These kids are just a case file to them. A stack of paper to get off their desk. I know they can't get emotionally involved but they have to care about the kids to do their jobs correctly.

I honestly believe I care more about my customer's trucks than they care about these kids.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by TooPatient » February 8th, 2012, 1:30 pm
Joe,

There was an awful tragedy just a few days ago in this area and I've thought of you and your kids every time I hear the news reports. Two innocent little boys were murdered because of the messed up system.

These kids NEED people who care about them. The people who work for the system see so much during their days that they really have to shut out the emotions. I'm sure there are a lot of people doing the best they can given the laws and regulations (not to mention budget limitations) they are forced to work with.

I truly hope that someone uses their brain (and their heart!) and lets your kids stay with you. You and your wife have gone above and beyond to make good lives for them. I don't see how it would do anything but harm to start rotating them through homes now -- and trying to rush you into a final decisision is just not fair to anyone.

Good luck to you and your wife.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by TooPatient » February 8th, 2012, 1:35 pm
Sleep Country organized all sorts of donation drives in this area to help foster kids and the families who care for them. Right now, they are collecting new pajamas. They also do bikes, Christmas toys, school supplies, teddy bears, and more.

Do those actually make it to people like you who have opened their hearts and homes? I've given in the past, but worry that they just sit in a warehouse somewhere waiting to go out.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 10th, 2012, 10:48 pm
TooPatient, I would like to believe the donations make it to the intended recipients.

We saw the girl's social worker at court. She said the same things about the girls and their Mom. So, so far so good!

Court was like setting at a train station watching train wreck after train wreck. We sat next to a lady who's daughter was a "mom" with problems. As her daughter walked by she slowly shook her head and said "She use to be so pretty". On the other side of us was a "mom" resting her head on the table. After seeing a pregnant "mom" being taken away in handcuffs she said "Jail, that's no place to be. I just came from there." The kid's "mom" is being poorly represented, she was handed a 3/4" thick stack of papers and given about 30 minutes to read it and respond to the allgations. I guess both sides have an even amout of concern given to the case. We'll be back at court for the trial in a few weeks. I know it's these people's job, but you almost get the feeling that they are going to say "would you like some fries with that?". Even the judge was lackadaisical, when he wasn't telling a joke.

The 3yo called me daddy the other day. That really caught me off gaurd. I thought I would have seen her middle finger sticking up way before hearing that. So,I guess we are making some progress.

I'm hoping for the best, I'm just not certain what that is.

To all of you, just two words.
Thank you
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Bella_mezzo » February 11th, 2012, 3:27 pm
Oh Joe,

the system SUCKS! I am so sorry that you are going through this right now and that no one in the system (except for you and your wife) are looking out for the kids best interests.

I hope that the court process goes faster and that representation for each side gets up to speed ASAP.

Please let me (us) know if there is anyway we can help financially or otherwise!
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by VRBeauty » February 11th, 2012, 4:15 pm
Joe - it's so heartening to hear the reports from the girls. You and your wife trudy did a wonderful thing, giving them a safe harbor while their mother got her stuff together. I hope the news remains good on that front.

I have no words for what you're going through with these three little ones, but to hope for strength and wisdom for you and your wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VRBeauty
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 11th, 2012, 4:59 pm
Bella, before the kids were placed with us we expressed our concerns about the needs of nonschool aged children. We both work and "placement" was aware of that. They assured us that they would "handle" that problem and they had no other home that would take in 3 kids. So we got a crib, twin beds, added fencing across the top of slope in our yard and made several other changes to get our license changed to allow very young children to live with us. We have done what they have asked of us willingly and with good intentions.Thank you for what I feel is a sincere and generous offer but we are going to figure this out and make it work.

....... Let me make something perfectly clear, my life is better now that we foster children. I have became a better person because of the children that we have/are fostering. I am truely grateful for the oportunity to do this. My son, his wife and my wife are first on my list...... but my list is getting longer.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Bella_mezzo » February 11th, 2012, 9:15 pm
Joe-I have every confidence that you will figure it out and make it work! I also know that the road can be long and hard in many many ways. I have been blessed by an amazing 3 year old son through adoption (he joined our family in the summer of 2011) and my husband and I are contemplating foster-care adoption for the future, but as of right now we don't think that is an avenue that is feasible, primarily for the reasons you are experiencing.

Your love for, and commitment to, your foster children shines through every post you write. I have immense respect and admiration for you and your wife and sadness, empathy, and hope for your foster children.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 12th, 2012, 6:50 am
Vr, I had forgot to mention that while waiting for "our" case to be called we saw a person that works for the system. She makes last minute drug treatment arrangements so the "parents" can tell the judge that they are in a program.(really, she sets in the waiting room right outside the door leading into the courtroom) The girl's Mom used her services before a hearing so we asked her if she knew how they were doing. She said the same things others had told us but added "the girls are so pretty" and they live with both parents now.
There are no winners in these situations but there are preferred out comes. We do understand that we played a part in what we hope was the worst part of the girls lives. If they are reluctant to revisit that part we understand completely, but it sure is nice to hear they are ok and doing well.

I hope one day the girls come to know how many of you care about them.
From me to all of you, two words, thank you.
Joe
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by vintagelover229 » February 13th, 2012, 9:38 am
hay joe:

HUGS to you and your wife. I know it's not an easy road trying to deal with something that parents have broken and have no understanding of what they did/didn't do or the impact they've had on their kids lives forever but you and your wife are a God send. I wish I had more words of wisdom to share with you-but you seem to be doing what is best for your family and your kids. They'll always remember you and have a soft spot in their heart for the love and kindness that you showed them during that scary period in their lives. My heart goes out to you and your wife and you're continually in my prayers.

HUGS!
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 16th, 2012, 3:33 pm
When the 5yo went into the system he was wearing these. I washed one and keep it on the dash of the truck I drive to work. It sure can make a guy think.
Attachments
shoe1.jpg
shoe1.jpg (222.05 KiB) Viewed 427 times
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 23rd, 2012, 8:14 am
The kids had a visit with "mom" yesterday. She had no choice but to admit she is pregnant. That will make it five. (I know we all have rights but this is a bunch of crap) If I understand it correctly, If she gives birth before this case is closed she is still an "unfit parent" and they can take that child away from her right after birth. I'm not sure what role we will be asked to play at that time, they do try to keep the kids together. By the way the newbord she was seen with was her sister's. That kid now lives with "grandma". "grandma" has been around the system for decades now. We were lead to believe "mom" was in the system.

Obviously "mom" and the males that have impregnated her need to be sterilized.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Loves Vintage » February 23rd, 2012, 3:16 pm
Joe,

I have to admit that it takes me a while before I will open up this thread because it is hard to read your updates sometimes. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in your position. It must be awfully hard. The photo of the shoe is very powerful. That is all I wanted to say, really, but then I wanted to explain why it took me a few days to say so. I didn't see the photo until just now. It is heartbreaking.

I've been reading about foster parenting on another site recently. Do they expect that the mom will eventually be able to parent the kids? When is an assessment like that made? I have to wonder whether adoption would be an option for the new baby?
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by hay joe » February 24th, 2012, 7:37 pm
VL, I work around men and get asked about the shoe from time to time. I tell them that my wife and I are taking care of other people's children and the shoe reminds me of how good my life is. Most ask, how can a shoe do that? I'll hand them the shoe, they will turn it over and take a look, a long look most of time. Nobody has had much to say after taking a look, most of the time they just hand it back and walk away.

A judge is who makes the final assessment and the date to do so. As far as adoption for the new baby goes, who knows?

We went to court this week. The judge gave "mom" more time and services to help her complete needed improvements. I don't believe I have heard that many lies in one day before. So if "mom" is truthful about her address and it's not with any of her children's abusers, she stays in her programs and doesn't test positive for drugs she is going to get her kids back.

After court, during the evening phone call with her kids, she wanted to talk to me "in private". She wanted to give me some "hints" on how to help her son with math homework.(you know, the kid that didn't know how to use a fork when he came to live with us) Just what I need, parenting advice from a person who has children in fostercare.
Lamb of God, you who take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by junebug17 » February 24th, 2012, 8:42 pm
Joe, the picture of that shoe just about broke my heart - I'll be keeping you, your wife and the children in my thoughts and prayers.

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”  Theodore, (Her)

Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by PetitePoire » February 26th, 2012, 9:51 am
PS at my post, but I'll start over.

I am with VL in that it can be so heartbreaking to read your updates. I feel terrible for both your family and those children.

Most of the time I am all for reunification when there really is a turn around. However, here, I feel angry at the judge for giving this woman more time to find a lie, more time to pretend. Has he personally seen the shoe or pictures of how these children came into the system? My goodness.

Just before I went off to university my 2 pre- teenage cousins were placed with us because of a drug addicted mother. I'd say they stayed for 2 years. I know it was difficult for my parents and for my cousins, who just wanted to go home. They were angry at being taken away, angry at the world, etc. My aunt had to go to meetings, etc, but it honestly wasn't enough to prove she could truly stay off and care for them, however, the judge continued to extend and gave her the kids back. So, so stupid. One is off to college now and the other should be graduating high school soon. The mother is still drunk throughout the day and probably still using. I Have no doubt the older saw the affects of his parents ways, but I have a feeling the younger will stray a bit before finding his way in the world.
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Skippy » February 27th, 2012, 8:17 am
Written by junebug17 » February 24th, 2012, 8:42 pm:Joe, the picture of that shoe just about broke my heart - I'll be keeping you, your wife and the children in my thoughts and prayers.


me too, you are good people and I wish there were more like you in the world.
Skippy




http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/files/1896249wrr738gi7w.gif

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by Clairitek » February 27th, 2012, 3:02 pm
Joe, I think about your and your evolving family often. I hope all the goods things in the world come to you and your wife for putitng so much into making the lives of these kids better.
***-**-*-**-***
C-tek
Re: I am not too old to learn

Post by vintagelover229 » February 29th, 2012, 12:10 pm
Joe-that shoe just broke my heart. I know what it's like though since when I was in early grade school I not only had my teachers gifting me things (a teddy bear) I had the guidance counselor pay for my cheer America for me. I was touched beyond belief. When I went in for the next season I told them I had it the last season and I think they just let me in even though I don't think he paid for another season-but they knew me and the situation and I'm so grateful by everyone kindness and effort they made. When I was in second grade I had a girl who rode my bus who was my friend who was a 6th grader. That's when the super wide leg jeans had come into fashion and I wanted a pair so bad (mind you I was the stick skinny rail thin girl) and she gave me a pair that she had. I could have easily fit 3 of me into those jeans but I wore them with a belt and them all bunched up proud since I had my pair of wide leg jeans ::)

No matter how messed up of a Mom their mother is she's grabbing at straws to make herself feel like she is doing something. Most mothers-no matter how dysfunctional (and probably never taught by their mothers and probably was brought up abused/neglected themselves) what to feel like they are doing *something* for their child. Even if it doesn't make since to us. I forgave my mother (who is now sober) many years ago because I understood that she loved me as much as she could love me-but didn't have the tools needed to raise a child let alone the tools to be successful in her own life. No since in being angry at someone who is utterly broken themselves and who knows what they endured as a child (my mother was also in foster care). My sister lost her first 3 kids (has kept the other 2 and she is only 27) and feels terrible every day because of it. She tried her best and loved her kids with all her heart but the truth is they are in a much safer and better place and she knows that and is grateful to those who are raising them like she couldn't.

HUGS to you Joe! Keep on keeping on and take every day as it comes. Don't get to disheartened at the broken system. Their hands are tied and everyone is exhausted and they see the same thing over and over day after day. Just continue to do your best for you and your family and the kids and try to let the rest fall off your shoulders. You can't change or save the world alone-but you are doing your best to change the world for those kids and that's more than what most folks do.


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