how to let go of highlights?

[sumbride]

I''ve been highlighting my hair for, um, 15 years? People think of me as a blond, but my natural color, as far as I know, is dark blonde/light brown with just a few natural highlights around my face. I''m tired of the expense and the upkeep that my highlights require, but I also feel like changing my hair color will "change who I am". I don''t know if that''s accurate or not, but part of me is tired of being blonde. I''m well aware that my DH may really freak out though.

I asked my hairstylist about going back to natural and he said "No, I won''t let you." But, seriously? I think I''m ready to think about it...

Are there any serial highlighters/haircolor addicts that have successfully stopped? Any tips for me? HELP?

 

[ephemery1]

I did, I did! (And hi Sum, long time no talk!!

)

My hair sounds really similar to yours... natural color is dark blonde/light brown but I'd had it highlighted a lighter golden blonde color since I was about 14. When I became a poor grad student, I decided I couldn't afford the upkeep (and it grows FAST) so I started getting half lowlights (golden brown-ish, darker than natural shade) and half highlights put in every time I went. And only a "partial" (just the top), never my whole head. I've been doing that for the past 5 years or so and get barely-noticeable roots. I only have it done 2-3 times a year at the most, and could probably go less if I wanted... I just like the look of SOME color contrast in there.

But I'd definitely try the highlight/lowlight thing if you want to make the change more gradual (or need to give DH some time to adjust

)... plus you can always vary the proportion of low:high depending on season (darker in winter, lighter in summer, etc). Good luck!!

ETA -- I just realized that I answered a whole post on "how to stop coloring" by suggesting you CONTINUE coloring... haha.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

I''m sort of in the same boat right now. For various reasons; time, money etc. It sounds like our natural color is about the same (although I will admit right now I''m not sure exactly what''s going to grow out). Been highlighting for many years, I just realized I haven''t been since mid April, and I don''t really have a "line" so to speak, it seems to be growing in somewhat unnoticeable. We are going to the beach next week for a week so I''m curious to see what the sun does to my hair.
During the winter I had decided to go darker, so I had lowlights put in and backed off on the highlights. Around February/then in April I had more highlights as I thought the low lights too dark. Now I''m just waiting to see what happens. My problem is I think I''m ready to go darker blonde (naturally) and then I see pretty highlights and get wistful.

 

[mercoledi]

You could try some of the dark blond/ light brown color-depositing shampoos to try and tone out the highlights so it isn''t obvious that they''re growing out. I did this when I had some dark reds left over in my natural dark brown and it made the process not totally un-noticeable, but decidedly toned down. Bumble and Bumble makes the shampoos, as to Aveda and I think some of the new John Frieda color gloss thingies are color depositing as well, my MIL has used the brunette one.

Try the B&B color support for warm blonds.

Aveda clove shampoo

John Frieda Color Glaze

 

[sumbride]

Ephem - That is hilarious! I do think you''ve got a point though... I can''t just go cold turkey. I''m going to have to back off slowly. I''ve been getting FULL highlights for a few years because when I started pulling it up more I realized it would look better. So maybe if I can downshift back to partial and then add in the lowlights, in a few years I can go back to completely natural? Thing is I want to stop spending the money NOW! ah well.

Tiffany - I know what you mean about the wistful aspect of it. I imagine it''s going to be kind of hard for awhile, but in the long run, I think I need to at least TRY having my hair natural. I''m just ready for a change. I did cut my hair so the length changed, but the color has been essentially the same for so long that I just want to look in the mirror and see something else.

Now, how do you talk your stylist into it? Mine is a stubborn Morrocan man who thinks he knows best.

He might, but I want to try it.

 

[sumbride]

Thanks Mercoledi! I''ve used the John Frieda blonde one before in between appointments. I hadn''t thought of trying the dark one out. I''ll look into them. thanks!

 

[gailrmv]

I have dark brown hair which is boring but OK. I got golden highlights for a while. I loved them, but not the price tag, and I HATE ROOTS so I had to get it touched up every 2 months. Anyway about a year ago I covered with semi-permanent at home hair color and it worked pretty well. I had to do it about 2 or 3 times but now you can''t see the highlights at all. I;d love to get some fun highlights for summer, but it''s just not worth the expense and time for me... I''ll wait a few years til I have grey to cover, then I''ll be back to the salon I''m sure!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Hmmm. I don''t know much about dealing with stubborn Morrocan men. I did talk to my stylist when I was first thinking about it, she said she could put a "filler" on the hair and then match my natural color with a color. At that point instead of all over color I went with lowlights that matched my natural color. Maybe you could start with that, instead of highlights try lowlights, and tell him to match your roots. Then you could see how it grows in.

 

[appletini]

Well of course your stylist is going to tell you not to, he''ll be losing a lot of future income. I have never colored my hair, but when i want to enhance it for special occasions I use the aveda color conditioner...I think its camomile?

 

[allikatac]

I totally understand where you are coming from! I started highlighting my hair around 18 and it just kept getting more blonde. My natural hair color is also a dark blonde or light brown with some natural highlights and when I look back at pictures I always think it looked so pretty! I decided two years ago that I wanted to go back to my natural color. I pretty much did what ephemery mentioned. I started getting lowlights that matched my natural color and some highlights. Each time I went back I got less highlights. I eventually then had her dye it back to my natural and you can''t even tell that it is still growing out. It was pretty much a filler. I had hair down to my bra strap and I cut it to my chin a few months ago and it is just sooo much healthier. Everytime I see someone with highlights I want to run for the phone to schedule my next appointment, but I try to remember how much healtheir my hair is now! I think that it will shock your DH at first, but he will get use to it!

 

[sumbride]

You have all convinced me that lowlights are the way to go until I''m back to normal! Thanks so much!

As for DH, yes, it will definitely take some time to adjust. A couple of years ago my aunt showed him some pictures from when I was about 13 or 14... after my hair switched from blonde to brown but before I started to color. He said "but she has brown hair in that picture!" and she said "well, yes, she did." and sort of looked at me like "he doesn''t know you color your hair???" It''s a longstanding family tradition though, so she wasn''t judging me!

Honestly, I think my mom will take it harder than him. Her motto is "I''ll be blonde as long as I can afford it." Works for her, but I don''t think I can afford it any longer myself.

 

[kcoursolle]

A good friend of mine did this and went cold turkey. Basically she grew out her roots for a while and went back to her colorist. Her colorist dyed her hair the natural color of her roots. After that she hasn''t highlighted again since, and that was about a year or so ago. She has actually re-fallen in love with her hair. She had been highlighting it for about a decade and was very happy with how her natural brown looked on her. As her hair grows and she gets trims, it looks healthier and shinier over time.

 

[miraclesrule]

I just finallly made the transition from highlighting for ...well what seems like forever...and it is something you have to get used to. I transitioned straight from blonde to a darkish red so that when I faded the first round, it wouldn''t have a green cast to it. Last Friday I went full dark. The next few washings will fade a bit and the highlights I had will begin to peek through.

It is something I have had to get used to. I do believe there is a huge "blonde withdrawal" that comes with going back to your roots...so to speak. But I am trying to get used to it and will see if it grows on me. I am mainly doing it because my daughter wanted me to go dark for her wedding, but only time will tell if I decide I can''t handle it and go back to highlighting. For me, highlighting was less expensive because it hid the few gray hairs that are creeping into my scalp and I could go 4-6 months without retouching the highlights. So far, I have had to see my "Edward Scissorhands" more in three months than I usuall do in a year. So, I am hoping that this last time was the one that will keep for months.

Good luck...it''s a scary thing to do.

 

[Dandi]

Date: 6/12/2008 6:13:57 PM
Author: kcoursolle
A good friend of mine did this and went cold turkey. Basically she grew out her roots for a while and went back to her colorist. Her colorist dyed her hair the natural color of her roots. After that she hasn't highlighted again since, and that was about a year or so ago. She has actually re-fallen in love with her hair. She had been highlighting it for about a decade and was very happy with how her natural brown looked on her. As her hair grows and she gets trims, it looks healthier and shinier over time.

That's pretty much what I did. I'm dark blonde but had really light highlights pout into it which made me look BLONDE blonde, and my hairdresser dyed my hair with the closest colourmatch to my natural root colour as she could when I decided I'd had it with highlights (about 7 years). 18 months later I haven't noticed any regrowth as she did a fabulous job of colour matching the dye to my hair... you'd never know I'd ever coloured my hair, and I love my natural colour, which turned out to have natural light blonde highlights of its own. Moreso, I love the lack of upkeep!! A trim ever 6 weeks and I'm good to go!