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akw94

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Hi,
I wondered how much tv/video games you let your kids play? This has been an ongoing battle in my house and from what I gather, in many households with this generation of kids. When I was younger, I played outside doing whatever, just finding things to do or played inside w/board games, dolls, dress up, again.. just finding something to do. Sure, we watched a little tv but not much and really had no major desire to watch much tv. It''s so different w/kids today. I try different methods of saying only x amount of tv/day or only x shows/day but it''s hard to find the balance and stick w/it.
So, what do you do? Also, if you don''t mind saying, how old is your child? My son is 13 and thinks there''s *nothing* to do unless it involves electricity or basketball. Give me a break!

Thanks (and just a fyi, I''m not on here daily so if I don''t respond right away, it just means I haven''t had a chance to get back to PS... definitely NOT that I don''t appreciate your responses).
 

KimberlyH

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I don't have kids, but I work with them and here are my thoughts. I think it depends on the age and personality of the child. Some kids can self regulate their gadget (tv, movie, video game, computer) time, others need help. If my child were spending all day playing with gadgets I would give a total amount of time (1 hour a day, for example) and let them him/her determine how the time is used. Set a timer each morning for one hour, have the child push start/stop, whenever using a gadget and when the time is up they are finished for the day. If you find him/her abusing the privilege than they lose it the next day, and so on. I would also work on finding ways to interest my child in other things. An outing to a book store, a few lessons in gardening, a sport, etc. to broaden his or her interests so the child sees there is more to do than sit play video games and watch TV.
 

Independent Gal

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I wonder if part of the issue is that parents don't let their kids play outside unsupervised? I know that it would definitely have been less fun to run around with the neighbourhood kids, catching tadpoles, climbing trees, etc., if I had to have my parents there.

Are there other kids his age in the 'hood? Do you 'model' doing outdoor things?
 

DivaDiamond007

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Date: 7/27/2008 4:19:49 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I wonder if part of the issue is that parents don''t let their kids play outside unsupervised? I know that it would definitely have been less fun to run around with the neighbourhood kids, catching tadpoles, climbing trees, etc., if I had to have my parents there.

Are there other kids his age in the ''hood? Do you ''model'' doing outdoor things?
I think that''s part of it too. I know when I was growing up (I''m 26) my sister and I played outside all day during the summer, basically unsupervised. We had to stay on our block and we had plenty of friends in the neighborhood to keep us company. If we wanted to ride bikes or walk farther than our block then we had to check in with our parents first.

Nowadays there are so many weirdos around that it''s hard to let your kids go so to speak. Well, either there''s more weirdos or we''re just more aware of them being around. It''s kind of sad, really that you even have to worry about it.

Now that hubby and I have James we are spending more time outdoors with him. I love taking him for walks around our neighborhood and taking him out places. I''m not really an outdoorsy type, but I don''t want James to be glued to gadgets from the time he can hold his head up.
 

zoebartlett

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Date: 7/27/2008 3:17:47 PM
Author: KimberlyH
I don''t have kids, but I work with them and here are my thoughts. I think it depends on the age and personality of the child. Some kids can self regulate their gadget (tv, movie, video game, computer) time, others need help. If my child were spending all day playing with gadgets I would give a total amount of time (1 hour a day, for example) and let them him/her determine how the time is used. Set a timer each morning for one hour, have the child push start/stop, whenever using a gadget and when the time is up they are finished for the day. If you find him/her abusing the privilege than they lose it the next day, and so on. I would also work on finding ways to interest my child in other things. An outing to a book store, a few lessons in gardening, a sport, etc. to broaden his or her interests so the child sees there is more to do than sit play video games and watch TV.
This is exactly what I''d do!
 

Independent Gal

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Diva I'd put my money on us just being more aware of it. There's no rational reason why there would be more weirdos now than at any other time. It's just become something we're constantly reminded about in recent years. And the thing is, the overwhelming majority of weirdos KNOW their victim. Just like with other violent crimes, the chances of your child being attacked by a stranger are absolutely teensy. It's just that when it happens, it's so sensationalized in the media that we forget how incredibly rare it really is. It's not rare for kids to be abused, sadly, it's just rare for kids to be abused by a stranger, which is what supervision outdoors would save them from.

And besides, I'd guess that the random stranger weirdos just get more creative. So, with constant supervision, a very few kids are saved from a horrible fate, and every kid loses what's best about childhood. So I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. All my best childhood memories involved adventure and independence. Having to work out our conflicts with the other kids on our own, playing make believe games, feeling free.

Kids still run around catching tadpoles where I'm from, and that's one reason that DH and I think about up and moving back. I just can't see that a childhood spent under constant supervision is conducive to healthy development.

OK, I'm threadjacking aren't I? Sorrrryyyy!
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KimberlyH

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Date: 7/27/2008 7:48:03 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Diva I''d put my money on us just being more aware of it. There''s no rational reason why there would be more weirdos now than at any other time. It''s just become something we''re constantly reminded about in recent years. And the thing is, the overwhelming majority of weirdos KNOW their victim. Just like with other violent crimes, the chances of your child being attacked by a stranger are absolutely teensy. It''s just that when it happens, it''s so sensationalized in the media that we forget how incredibly rare it really is. It''s not rare for kids to be abused, sadly, it''s just rare for kids to be abused by a stranger, which is what supervision outdoors would save them from.

And besides, I''d guess that the random stranger weirdos just get more creative. So, with constant supervision, a very few kids are saved from a horrible fate, and every kid loses what''s best about childhood. So I sometimes wonder if it''s worth it. All my best childhood memories involved adventure and independence. Having to work out our conflicts with the other kids on our own, playing make believe games, feeling free.

Kids still run around catching tadpoles where I''m from, and that''s one reason that DH and I think about up and moving back. I just can''t see that a childhood spent under constant supervision is conducive to healthy development.

OK, I''m threadjacking aren''t I? Sorrrryyyy!
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I''m perpetuating the hijack for a moment...as someone who works with children I just want to say big fat thank you and thank goodness that people like you are still bringing children into the world. I see so many children whose parents let them grow up both way too fast (attire, cell phones at the age of 8, etc.) and not at all (no freedom to learn responsibility and accountability) and the results frighten me.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming (Dixie, I wouldn''t have hijacked if I thought you''d mind, but thanks for letting me interrupt your thread on an important topic!).
 

MichelleCarmen

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It's summer!!! Because of that. . .

My kids (ages 6 & 7) are allowed to watch cartoons EVERY morning while I eat breakfast and read the newspaper, which takes me about 30-45 mintues.

They play on the computer ONLY on Friday and Saturday nights. The play video games such as Lego Starwars and Lego Indiana Jones on those weekend nights. We DO NOT own a playstation or any of those entertainment systems.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 7/27/2008 4:19:49 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I wonder if part of the issue is that parents don't let their kids play outside unsupervised? I know that it would definitely have been less fun to run around with the neighbourhood kids, catching tadpoles, climbing trees, etc., if I had to have my parents there.

Are there other kids his age in the 'hood? Do you 'model' doing outdoor things?
IG - there seem to be two groups of moms I know. The ones who hover over their kids 24/7 and those who do not. Most of my "mommy friends" are mostly SAHMs who can keep an eye on their kids, and to tell you the truth, it is SO much easier hanging out with them, because they WATCH their kids. . .when I do let my kids play with the kids that are allowed to roam, I find myself parenting those kids, which becomes burdensome.

It's horrifing to watch your kids get in a rock throwing war!!! What do you do when two little girls come up and start playing with your kids and next thing you know, they're throwing rocks back and forth? Do I tell the girls to knock it off or what? Where is the parent? What am I suppose to do with the little brats?

It's not the weirdos that worry me, but the bratty kids I'm forced to deal with when the parents are nowhere to be seen that keeps me watching my kids! People should parent their kids.

Oh, and I do agree that there are not any more weirdos than any previous time in history. We are just more aware of them now and having shows like CIS doesn't help any. We're just a more paranoid society who now realizes creeps are in all walks of life.
 

D2B

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I really dont like my son watching too much TV and try to limit it and have TV free days as much as possible. He is 4. I find that the more he watches the more he wants to watch and vice versa. I think it is OK and good for him to be bored at home, after a while he starts to get really creative and play in interesting ways with his toys. We do lots of structured activites, but free play is critical for them, (ie unstructured, not unsupervised).

I really think TV in excess is bad for their developing brains at my sons age. But there will be days when I am sick or he is sick, where we will use the TV to get through the day. we dont have realatives around so sometimes you just have to do what you need to, to get through the day sane.

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d2b
 

LaraOnline

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Date: 7/27/2008 7:48:03 PM
Author: Independent Gal
with constant supervision, a very few kids are saved from a horrible fate, and every kid loses what''s best about childhood.
Oh, this is so sad, and so true...
on the funny side of this, my friend and I were comparing our own upbringing with the kind of childraising we do ourselves...
We both agreed that our parents seemed pretty ''relaxed'' compared to ourselves.

She was allowed to play on the train tracks every afternoon after school ... and we (my little sister and myself, aged seven and five) took our two-year-old disabled brother down to the river every weekend - one time he fell in, we had to dive down deep to find him!!!

There is so much pressure to be ''responsible parents'' these days... but I don''t think I would ever let my children go on either of these ''adventures''...
 

swingirl

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When my kids were young they watched cartoons before school. When they came home they did homework and sometimes watched more TV. My son loved that stuff. Loved to watch the history and science channels and play battle games, military games, anything with shooting. Today he is getting ready to study electrical engineering, aced a college history class in high school and can write computer code and design programs. Basically his TV time and game time was not wasted, it was expanding his natural interests. He played strategy games, learned geography and history and had fun. There were times when I said to go out and get some fresh air.

My point is your kids can watch TV and play video games and not have their brains turn to mush or become sociopaths. I think most people are concerned about their kids being entertained for hours on end when they don''t have to think. But there can be a way to blend entertainment and education. One good piece of advice is no TV or video games in the bedroom. And computers in a public place like the family room. That alone will limit them.

I tried to sign up my kids for interesting activities and take them on a lot of field trips. During the summer we visited forts, military cemeteries, airports, museums and anyplace that I could think of that would be of interest. If kids are out of the house they aren''t playing video games.

When I was young we watched I Dream of Genie, American Bandstand and I Love Lucy. I certainly wasn''t playing dolls or dress-up at 13. We were playing spin-the-bottle in someone''s garage, eating fries at Woolworths and smoking cigarettes in the alley. Kids that age are going to do whatever they want when they are unsupervised. And you can''t treat a teenager like a 6 year old. You can''t restrict their thoughts and interests. Video games and basketball is pretty normal stuff for a 13 year old boy.
 

Independent Gal

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Date: 7/27/2008 11:33:43 PM
Author: MC

It''s horrifing to watch your kids get in a rock throwing war!!! What do you do when two little girls come up and start playing with your kids and next thing you know, they''re throwing rocks back and forth? Do I tell the girls to knock it off or what? Where is the parent? What am I suppose to do with the little brats?


It''s not the weirdos that worry me, but the bratty kids I''m forced to deal with when the parents are nowhere to be seen that keeps me watching my kids! People should parent their kids..



Ah, yes, the accidents are all flooding back to me. I don''t think we had any rock throwing situations. But I did once cut part of my middle finger pretty much clean off, nail and all. They sewed it back on and the nail grew back, but it''s a doozy of weird-o fingertip to this day! And then there were the inevitable falls from trees, etc. But personally, i think the odd injury was worth it!

I can''t believe those kids were throwing rocks!
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akw94

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Great responses, thank you! I, of course, don''t mind the threadjack as it all relates. I''ll come back later when I have a bit more time to read and respond.

Thanks and I''d love to hear from others too, anyone have kids in their teen-age years?
 

canuk-gal

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Date: 7/28/2008 10:24:30 AM
Author: dixie94
Great responses, thank you! I, of course, don''t mind the threadjack as it all relates. I''ll come back later when I have a bit more time to read and respond.

Thanks and I''d love to hear from others too, anyone have kids in their teen-age years?
HI:

Yes, my son will be 15 in two weeks. All through Jr. HIgh School, we had a rule that he was able to play on the computer afterschool, before supper, but not after as this time was relagated to homework and other activities/chores. For the most part, this routine worked quite well, and if my son was finished his work on occasion I allowed him some time after supper to watch TV. But I had to remind my son everyday wbout his time limits/cooperation, as he would just play nonstop. They get to entranced in those computer games!!!

Despite my husbands and my high level of physical activity, my son just doesn''t seem to emulate our sports interests. He has his own interests that do not include sports and I do not push it. For many years, he ran around and hung out with the neighbour kids, but that ceased closer to the end of Jr. HIgh when everyone got involved in various diverse personal interests.

I don''t know what HIgh School will bring in terms of "routine"--we evolve and try to adapt, and it is a challenge!

cheers--Sharon
 

somethingshiny

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When I was a kid, I was only allowed to watch 1/2 hour of television a day. We had to pick our show in advance and if a friend came to play I had to tell them I HAD to watch TV and couldn''t play. She figured we would decide not to schedule our TV time so we didn''t miss playing with other kids. She was right. I know my mom was doing what she thought was best, but now I am a HUGE TV watcher. I watch old MASH episodes and Full House type stuff. The things I missed when I was a kid. I do believe that if I had different TV rules, I wouldn''t be such a fan today.

Our son is almost 2.5. He''s just started watching TV. I only let him watch stuff like Blue''s Clues and Word World although if he can sneak in SpongeBob he''s quite happy. Unfortunately, our television seems to never be off (DH works 2nd shift so he does his share of watching in the AM). We rarely play computer games but his grandparents gave him a learning with Nemo game for Christmas that he''s recently started.

He''s really a player though. We go outside and do stuff all the time. I think it''s really important to connect with your environment (my silly way of thinking that he''ll be more responsible for it in the future). Even when he was too little to play in the snow, I''d go out and grab a giant bowl full of snow, put mittens on his hands and let him play in it in the living room. We just took him on his first hike yesterday which he really enjoyed.

So, my point is. I really don''t limit the television, I just try to make other things more fun and appealing instead. (which seems to be working)
 

swingirl

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I think if you put too many limits on teenagers they only want it more. But if you replace the activity with something comparable or better they''ll make the desired choice. Most kids get away from the video game thing once they hit high school and get involved in more social activities. Sometimes it''s hard to convince a TV lovin'' kid that there is anything better to do. But with a little creative thinking and work you can get them involved in other things.

To get my son out of the house on a weekend I would drive him and some buddies into the city and give them a map and train fare home. Or I packed up a lunch and dropped them off on a hiking trail. He admitted to me that he was glad I pushed him to do those things because he felt playing video games was a waste of time even though it''s fun.
 

Haven

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I don''t have children so I can''t answer your question.

I do want to say that I give my high school students a little questionnaire at the beginning of the year to get to know them better. I always ask how many hours they spend watching TV or playing video games per week, and the average is about 25 HOURS! The first time I asked the question and read their answers I was shocked, so we had a discussion about it and by and large the kids tell me they watch anywhere from three to four hours of television PER NIGHT.
The next question is "How many hours do you spend reading per week?" The most common answer: Does the back of the cereal box count?
So sad, in my opinion.
 

pennquaker09

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I''ve noticed that Nate and I read a great deal more than we watch TV. And I would like the same for my kids. When I watch TV, it''s normally in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning because I''m too buys to watch TV during primetime. And when I''m "watching" tv, I''m usually reading a book or a magazine. I''m all about multitasking, lol.

I read this article on the New York Times site about how different generations go about reading.

I think because my parents put me in so many different activities when I was younger is my main reason for not watching a lot of television. My nanny took me to the library all the time and she''s a big reason why I read today.
 

akw94

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Hi
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Thanks so much for the great responses!

Kimberly, I agree that it depends on the child. My son does not seem to be able to self-regulate when it comes to all things electronic so I do my best to help him. I''m hopeful that sooner or later he will acquire that skill! I agree about giving a certain amount of time and that''s what we decided to do. We also added a stop time so that the time isn''t used right until the last second before bed. I definitely agree with finding other interests! Luckily, he''s become interested in basketball and has made new friends in our area so he gets out quite a bit.

Indy Gal, there are other kids in the area. We just moved here so he''s taking time to meet some others and making friends. He''s allowed out but I do feel it''s important to know where he is and who he''s playing with. Right now, he can pretty much go out when he wants and has a time that he must be home by. Although I don''t watch over him outside or follow him around, we always talk about what he''s doing.

DivaDiamond, I played outside a lot more when I was little too. Kids nowadays seem to need a particular activity whereas that wasn''t the case when I was younger. We just played outside doing whatever and when we got bored doing one thing, we''d switch to something else. There''s definitely not as much imagination used these days. We''re lucky that we have an area around the house with a lot of outdoor activities so there''s plenty to choose from.

Zoe, thanks! I agree with Kimberly too!

MC, I wish I never would''ve let video games come into our household. Kids are so much better without them, imo. Plus, my son tends to have an obsessive personality so when he likes something, he really likes it. Unfortunately, I haven''t always done the best job staying consistent but I''m always trying to do better!
I agree that parents should parent their kids and that they should also be allowed a bit of free play. The other day, my son came home and wanted some money. I asked for what and found that someone was selling Icee type drinks in the neighborhood. So I said I''d walk with him to check it out and buy one too. He was horrified by that but I just went there, met the person selling the drinks, bought one, chatted for a minute or two and then left him to play with friends. I think it''s important that I know what my son is doing, not minute by minute but an overall knowledge. I also want others to know that I''m around and my son is not one of those kids whose parents you never see and would be extra easy to take advantage of. On the other hand, I want him to have some freedom so I try not to be around too much and just check in with him here and there. He can''t go in someone''s house until I''ve met the parent and no one can come in ours without us being home. So there are *some* rules but they are primarily based on safety for my son. Unfortunately, I think there is more crime these days and more crime being committed by juveniles. So that means that it''s important to be aware of leery adults but also know what kids are in the area, hanging out on the court, etc... Anyway, starting to ramble so I''ll stop now...

D2B, I agree that the more they watch, they more they want to watch. It''s hard to find the right line in how much to watch.

LaraOnline, yeah, my parents were more relaxed too. But that was partly because they just weren''t home from work after school so we tended to ourselves. On weekends, we lived in a neighborhood where we knew everyone on the block so we could play with our parents feeling secure about our safety. I think that''s part of it too. These days, many people don''t know their neighbors so you don''t have that same feeling of security when your kids are outside. You don''t know if anyone''s keeping an eye on them or if the people around you are the ones you need to keep your kids away from. I do think society has changed quite a bit.

Swingirl, that''s great that your son loved the more educational channels. Mine has moved from Cartoon Network to the Disney channel so not much education happening there! Sounds like your kids had fun summers! We try to spend a lot of family time too on the weekends, going to festivals, the beach or just something to get outside. I think you''re right that video games and bball are normal for a 13yr old, I just know that if it were up to him, that''s ALL he would ever do!

Canuk-gal, thanks for responding! My son has just recently gotten into sports, and I am grateful mainly b/c he''s out of the house and getting some exercise. I also think being on a team will be good for him but it''s just not for all kids. I will say that I was never into sports when I was younger but I did love to swim so in high school, I joined the swim team. So as you said, you never know what will happen.

Ok, I can''t believe how much I wrote. But guess who just came home from the basketball court so I''d better stop now.

Will come back later to finish responding. I welcome all discussion so please, no worries of thread-jacking! Sorry this was soooo long!
 

akw94

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Ok, I''m back..

Somethingshiny, I understand what you''re saying. I try to impose reasonable restrictions on tv time. Actually, I still think he gets a lot more than what is deemed appropriate by various organizations but I want to be reasonable. I just think that the only thing that he will think is reasonable is if I had no rules at all. I just can''t wait until he''s a parent!!! I think making other things fun and appealing makes sense. Part of our problem is trying to break the pattern. It''s much harder than just doing it right in the beginning. Ah, the things I know now...

Swingirl, I''m hoping that your right that the video game interest will lessen once high school starts. It has already started to lessen somewhat as he''s gotten more into sports. You are definitely right about how it''s hard to convince a tv lovin'' kid about finding something better to do. He just thinks I am torturing him when I take away the tv.
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I like the idea of the outdoor excursions and once he makes some good friends here, we''ll be able to do more of that!

Haven, thanks for responding. It is shocking how much tv kids watch nowadays. I know that my son is no different from his friends and sometimes I can''t believe that he is *my* son. But then I remember that I am the parent and can change things! I really think that video games has not done good things for kids. It has taken over! My son thinks reading is almost evil, and I find it so sad. I *love* to read and many days, that''s the only thing I want to do. It is such a joy that he has never fully experienced. But we''re not giving up yet!

SDL, I''m actually trying to incorporate more family movies. So when we rent something, he rents one for him and we rent one to watch together. I know it''s still tv but it seems better than him watching his shows on his own.

Pennquaker, yeah, I multi-task too. Sometimes I''ll watch something and then read during commercials b/c the book is so darned good. Then I realize that the tv show isn''t all that good and I turn it off and concentrate on my book! Thanks for sharing that article. The funny thing is, we''ve been going to the library more but all my son wants to do is look at the movies. Oh brother...

Thanks so much everyone! I really appreciate your thoughtful comments and please feel free to express more.
 

diamondfan

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I try to limit it as much as I can.

My almost 16 year old only likes Guitar Hero or Rock Band, other wise he studies, and plays guitar. He like to watch a couple of shows during the week and is very into the Olympics as he is an athlete. I do not have to monitor him as much as he is very responsible and more self regulating, plus he simply does not love the games as much. He is good at prioritizing too.

My middle son would play for days on end. And he likes M rated very violent stuff which I refuse to allow. He is 13, and some of his friends play Grand Theft Auto which is gross to me. I will buy him certain things but not all games pass muster in my home. And he knows he had better not play it elsewhere, even if that is THE ONLY game the kid has, which is not likely. I tell him there are so many other choices and filling his head with ultra senseless and violent imagery is NOT cool. He loves television too and is not so great at getting homework done and out of the way. I used to allow on hour per night AFTER work and shower and dinner, and to have more time he would forgo certain things, or claim he had not been watching as much when I know the hour had come and gone. Even a timer did not work. He would rush through homework and skip showering which upset me, so now we had a no tv on school nights rule, which he hated. I gave him unlimited on the weekend, knowing he is always out and playing but at least he felt okay about it.

I happen to love tv and leave it on instead of the radio, and it is more the content that worries me, amount too, but what they watch matters to me and it is hard to regulate all the time. They have no tv or game systems in their rooms though which helps.
 

Aloros

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Stepson-to-be is 10, and while FI and I don''t have a set amount he is allowed to watch/play every day, we restrict it during the daytime, we give him some things he has to have done by the end of the day, and he has to read if he is going to play video games. We try to give him a lot of other options - drawing, painting, writing, making costumes, etc.

We don''t get any sort of television reception, and we monitor the shows/movies he watches.

As both FI and I were neighborhood wanderers when we were kids, we''re big proponents of telling him to get out and play! We''re in a safe neighborhood with a lot of parks and creeks, and we make a point of meeting kids'' parents before he can go over to their places. He is allowed to bring friends back spontaneously unless we tell him not to.

Most of his friends are polite and well-mannered, so this hasn''t yet been a problem.
 

MonkeyPie

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I think this is one of those things that depends on the personality of the child. I have never watched much tv, never played much video games. I am on the internet quite a lot nowadays, but mostly because I am doing something productive. (Or I am on here...lol.)

When I was younger, my parents never regulated tv. They never prevented me, and I had a tv in my bedroom once I turned 10. And I never felt the need to abuse it or watch it constantly, and I even had Showtime, which became porno-central after 11. It just never interested me, or my brother. I would have rather been reading or drawing.

I think sometimes that regulating tv and video games means they try even harder to abuse the privilege. But it all depends on your kid. I don''t see anything wrong with letting them play games longer or watch a whole movie as opposed to an hour of regular tv.
 

vespergirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Messages
5,497
Date: 7/28/2008 5:10:52 AM
Author: LaraOnline

Date: 7/27/2008 7:48:03 PM
Author: Independent Gal
with constant supervision, a very few kids are saved from a horrible fate, and every kid loses what''s best about childhood.
Oh, this is so sad, and so true...
on the funny side of this, my friend and I were comparing our own upbringing with the kind of childraising we do ourselves...
We both agreed that our parents seemed pretty ''relaxed'' compared to ourselves.

She was allowed to play on the train tracks every afternoon after school ... and we (my little sister and myself, aged seven and five) took our two-year-old disabled brother down to the river every weekend - one time he fell in, we had to dive down deep to find him!!!

There is so much pressure to be ''responsible parents'' these days... but I don''t think I would ever let my children go on either of these ''adventures''...
I totally agree with you guys - but I think that there are several reasons that kids don''t play outside as much anymore. I grew up in NYC and then we moved to Long Island when I was older, but we played outside in gangs of kids all the time. The difference was back then that almost all the families had stay at home moms, so there was always a mom or two peeking her head out the window to see where the kids were on the block, and what they were up to. Since most moms work now, and kids don''t end up getting home until around 6 pm from daycare, it''s already too late to play outside, or if they are home with a nanny, the nanny is supervising the kid. I am at home with my son, but all the other moms in my neighborhood cluster work, so if I were to send him outside, there are no other kids home to play with in the afternoons, so there is no more of the "safety in numbers" like when we were kids and the the kids in the neighborhood would play outside.

As far as weirdos, there are probably no more than years ago, but kids don''t really "run in crowds" outside anymore, so it''s easier to pick off an individual kid, or a kid without a sibling close by, but we also have a lot more media coverage of that sort of thing these days.

I also had two brothers (I''m in the middle) and my older brother was frequently told that he was in charge of us when we went out to play, and he kept an eye on us. Kids are so over-coddled these days (I''ve seen 14 year olds with nannies!) that they can barely take care of themselves as teenagers, never mind look after a sibling or two.
 

eks6426

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
2,011
I have an 11 year old son and the TV/video game thing is a constant battle. The only video game my son owns is the Nintendo DS which is used pretty much only on long car trips. We don''t have Playstation, WII or XBox available to him (my older step son who is 18 has every system ever made but the 11 year old isn''t allowed to touch them). I control TV by using the DISH system to basically lock out most of the channels he finds interesting. He can''t get to cartoons, Sci-Fi channel and most of the other ones he really likes. If he turns on the TV, it''s pretty much going to be educational...Discovery, History Channel etc.

But the real trouble comes with friend''s parents who are not so strict. I find that my son goes over to friend''s houses to "hang out" which really means watching TV or playing video games all day long. I have tried organizing things for groups of his friends to do outside but they really don''t want to do anything outside. They want to go back inside and play video games and watch TV....... It''s really tough to find like minded parents with kids my son''s age...So, what''s a parent to do?
 

akw94

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2006
Messages
1,937
Diamondfan, my son is looking fwd to the Olympics too! That''s great that you don''t have to monitor the almost 16yr old. I also refuse to buy the M rated stuff and completely agree about Grand Theft Auto. He and I have had some lengthy discussions on why I hate that game and others like it! I''ve also told him no playing M games at friends houses and I just hope he listens. I''m not 100% sure he does but I don''t worry too much about that. I know there''s only so much I can control so I focus on that. My son sounds similar to your middle son and it can be tough. I''m actually surprised that the new rule has worked pretty well so far. There''s been some complaining but not too bad. Same in my house w/no tv/games in the bedroom. So many kids these days have that and I think it only encourages the usage, plus, there''s not nearly as much supervision as to what''s being watched or for how long.

Aloros, thanks for your response. That''s nice that you''re in a safe neighborhood. We pretty much have the same rules as you.. meeting parents first and letting him bring other friends over. I just sometimes worry about other friends coming over before meeting their parents b/c I''m pretty sure that their parents don''t always know where they are. I asked one boy the other day if his parent knew where he was. Of course, he said yes. Well, then I met the parent so that my son could go to his house. She had no idea where he was on that previous day or the day that I met her and had been driving around looking for him. I know my son thinks I''m so strict but I would be very unhappy if I did not know where my son was one day and had to go out looking for him.. too many bad things happening out there.

MonkeyPie, I never had tv regulated either but like you, I wasn''t all that interested in it. I was always reading by choice and that would''ve been my first choice of activity when I was younger or finding a friend to play with. I do think that for us, he got used to watching more tv b/c for many years, we didn''t live in an area where I felt comfortable letting him go play outside. I agree, I really don''t care whether it''s a movie, tv or video games, I just don''t want too much of it done.

Vespergirl, I agree with your reasoning about why kids aren''t outside as much. I actually do think there is more crime now and more to watch out for. I also agree that some kids are probably more vulnerable to being preyed upon. I think mine probably is b/c he really hasn''t had to face any difficult situations and I''m just not sure he would know what to do. He also hasn''t encountered many "bad" people so I''m not sure he would know who to stay away from if they presented them self in a friendly manner. I agree that when you have to take care of a sibling, it likely helps in your maturity and ability to take care of yourself. Since my son has been an only child for a long time, he hasn''t had that experience.

IslandDreams, I found that when my son had his video game privileges taken away, he would want to go to a friends house a little more often. Gee, I wonder why... I''ve learned that I can''t control what he does at friend''s houses but it is a little frustrating. I decided that I am going to limit how much time can be spent inside a friends house. If I say he needs to leave our house to play outside, that shouldn''t mean go to someone else''s house to play inside. It seems you always have to be on your toes...

Thanks everyone, this has been an interesting topic!
 
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