Hey, nincompoop!

[TravelingGal]

Not saying I agree or disagree with this article. I'm only posting it because a 12 year old standing there baffled with an ice tray just cracked me up.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39387465/ns/today-parenting/

 

[ForteKitty]

I read that yesterday!!!! and i blame the parents. if your kids can't figure it out an ice cube tray or a can opener, or a HANGER, there's something seriously wrong in that household.

 

[somethingshiny]

Lazy parenting plain and simple.

 

[elrohwen]

I had a friend in HS who didn't know how to use my family's manual can opener because her family only had electric. Another friend wasn't sure how to use the ice cube trays because her family only had ice makers I'm happy to report that they're both well adjusted adults! Ok, well, mostly well adjusted

I also knew a million kids in college who couldn't do laundry, turn on a stove, write a rent check, or do all sorts of things. I always felt bad that their parents sent them out into the world (if college can be considered "the world") without any life skills.

eta: I also grew up with a neighbor kid who didn't know how to tie his shoes until well after 12 years of age. Clearly this problem isn't so recent.

 

[MustangGal]

My husband in incapable of operating ice-cube trays... he grew up with an ice maker.

 

[ChinaCat]

This made me laugh!

Tying Shoes:
I was at Nordstrom's the other day in the kid shoe department and they had a sign offering free shoe-lace tying classes. I thought, WTF, who would need that? I guess now I know!

There was also a girl on Good Morning America that invented shoes that tie themselves. She invented them to help her elderly grandmother, but still.

Cursive:

But I entirely disagree that kids don't need to learn cursive???? Why is this exactly????

Though my one year old is obsessed with the I-pad and knows how to work it, we have to hide it from him. But he's never been to a Gymboree class and has managed to teach himself to clap.

 

[random_thought]

I'm still incapable of using an ice tray. If I had a nickel for every tray I've busted in half I'd be rich! lol

 

[Tuckins1]

I ditto the lazy parenting comments... I see it daily at work and it's a damn shame.

 

[jas]

Though my one year old is obsessed with the I-pad and knows how to work it, we have to hide it from him. But he's never been to a Gymboree class and has managed to teach himself to clap.

This? Made my day.

 

[vespergirl]

I read that article too - hilarious! As the parent of a 3 year old who doesn't like to do a lot of things for himself yet, I am going to start forcing him to dress himself, etc. more from now on.

 

[partgypsy]

I truthfully have to admit that my 7 year hates shoes with laces and still doesn't know how to tie shoelaces, and also avoids jeans with buttons because they are hard for her to button and unbutton. But she knows how to fill and empty an ice cube tray, open a can, as well as put away her clothes, ice a cake and is a big help with raising her little sister, so I think it evens out.

 

[MonkeyPie]

It's hard to judge a kid by things they didn't learn simply because they weren't exposed to it. Micah will likely be in velcro shoes until he hits 4-5 because that is when I learned, too. Any earlier and I wouldn't have had the patience! Plus who the heck wants to stop to tie shoes when you got up at 4 or 5am just have time to get yourself ready and your kid presentable before the day starts? Not me!

I never had a proper can opener until I hit high school, before it was electric. I had the basic idea, but had never done it. I still can't peel anything with a knife. My dad cut my meat because it took me forever until I was about 10. I had no concept of credit and promptly dug myself a hole when I hit freedom. Now I am raising a child and living with a husband who knows even less than I do, but we survive and no one will die if they can't get cubes out of the ice tray. I think I did alright.

 

[Jas12]

i think i am a nincompoop--i suck at some of those things. I hate can openers , mess up laundry all the time and fail to properly put stuff on hangers (my shirts are always slipping off)

my 2.5 yr old can't dress himself, but he can navigate thru a website, find a game, play it and shut the thing off....and he was only just exposed to the online world (by a mistake on my behalf i might add) last week!
Every generation bemoans the younger one. Certain skills vanish from our social lives, only to be replaced by something new. i am not too worried.

 

[Kaleigh]

Very interesting... Well they know how to do ice trays, cause the icemaker broke in Nantucket...They must have had a big party...
Laundry was their thing from day one.. MOM>>>>you shrunk my shirt!!! I was like fine, do your own darn laundry...

I always felt they had to know a few key things... Mainly because I grew up raising myself and my husbands dad died early on, so he raised himself as well. Our kids know how to cook, clean iron , do laundry and can balance a check book... And yes can work a can opener and most other appliances..


The ice tray thing was always a bone of contention in the summer house, not our's but MIL's.. She'd open up the freezer and said who forgot to fill up the ice trays!!!!!!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I'm the only child and I was babied a lot growing up - my mom wouldn't let me wash dishes for heaven's sake. Or teach me to cook, or do anything - she was afraid I'd hurt myself. But let me tell you - living in an apartment by myself in college cured me of THAT. I am a pretty darn good housekeeper now. I would hope that even if kids grow up not being so self-sufficient or able to do things like use an ice cube tray (an ice cube tray - really????) they would figure it out once they were on their own.

 

[packrat]

We weren't allowed to touch the stove or the microwave when we were younger, so I didn't learn how to cook until..high school I suppose. My brother's *only* story about me growing up (ha, I've got about 20 stories I tell about him) is how when I was in Jr High, mom was sick and I was hungry and wanted mac & cheese-she wouldn't make it. I said fine, tell me what to do and I'll do it. She had me bring the pan to her and pointed to where to fill it w/water, said to put it on the specific burner and turn it on high. That's it, that was my instructions. I'd never read a recipe before in my life-no clue it was on the box, nothing. So finally after ages, I asked mom when it was going to be done, she got up and looked in the by now almost empty pan after the water had all boiled off and yelled "You have to put the macaroni in!" Well shit thanks a lot, kinda hard to expect me to know how to do anything if I'm not allowed near it eh? She still rolls her eyes and ohhh gaaaaawd about it but hello?

JD on the other hand, learned how to cook from his grandma at a very young age..but she neglected to teach him how to refill ice cube trays or replace the tp roll. Cookings a breeze, easy peasy lemon squeezy but land sakes don't ask the man to refill or replace.

 

[ForteKitty]

My co-workers were discussing this at work and i heard a good one:

Someone's 13 yr old nephew was in the car and wanted the window open, but couldn't figure out how to open it. Apparently he's never seen a manual handle before, so he kept pressing it. I just think some of this should be common sense, no? if pressing it doesn't work, try turning it? i mean what else do you do with a handle?

sigh. It really bothers me because these kids in the article seem so... apathetic. Like they'd rather go without than put in some effort to get it. if we dont know something, we try to figure it out. Somehow... but we at least try! Where's their sense of adventure?

Oh the other hand, us older folks aren't that bright either. the El Pollo Loco near work just installed a new soda machine. it's all touch screen, with 160 choices!!! all touch screen except for for the ice. You wouldn't believe the number of people who just stood there with the cup under the lever that says "push in", expecting the ice to come out.

 

[monarch64]

What's very strange to me is the sense of pride that younger people (teens, 'tweens, etc.) have about their own technological "disabilities." Not being able to operate a manual or electric can opener? The inability to do tasks we 25-85 year olds take for granted?

Anyone over the age of 25 is laughed at by youths. Funny, though, that we, as the older generation, have created the monster.

It's nothing new. My own parents, who are fast approaching their 70's, have been preaching these same sentiments that "our" generation is reading in news publications now, for years and years!

Is anyone else just BORED with the perpetuation of things? I love thinking towards my own future, and my family's future, etc., but at times I look over my shoulder or just to my left or right and think, "damn. Things really will never change."

Is it wrong that I still want children and that I still would like my parents to enjoy being grandparents to those children, even though I KNOW all of this is somewhat futile?

I think...I might be having some sort of midlife crisis. Damnit.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

BAH I read two paragraphs and quit. I hate articles lamenting the decline in kids morals/intellect/skills etc. It is so insulting to children. Demeaning. What, does the author think that her parents did not think the EXACT same frickin' thing about her when she was young???

 

[monarch64]

BAH I read two paragraphs and quit. I hate articles lamenting the decline in kids morals/intellect/skills etc. It is so insulting to children. Demeaning. What, does the author think that her parents did not think the EXACT same frickin' thing about her when she was young???

Great point, Dreamer! This is why I'm frankly SICK of b.s. articles and lame schools of thought that get organized into clubs or whatever telling people how to parent their children...

How about we all embrace individuality and teach our kiddos to be nice to people and when people are not nice to them, that we'll figure out a solution together?

Aww...I don't have a leg to stand on...I don't yet have children. I have a 2.5 year old niece and she's who I think of when I read these threads. I have no business being over here...but I would like to be someday. Thanks for indulging me!!!

 

[monarch64]

We weren't allowed to touch the stove or the microwave when we were younger, so I didn't learn how to cook until..high school I suppose. My brother's *only* story about me growing up (ha, I've got about 20 stories I tell about him) is how when I was in Jr High, mom was sick and I was hungry and wanted mac & cheese-she wouldn't make it. I said fine, tell me what to do and I'll do it. She had me bring the pan to her and pointed to where to fill it w/water, said to put it on the specific burner and turn it on high. That's it, that was my instructions. I'd never read a recipe before in my life-no clue it was on the box, nothing. So finally after ages, I asked mom when it was going to be done, she got up and looked in the by now almost empty pan after the water had all boiled off and yelled "You have to put the macaroni in!" Well shit thanks a lot, kinda hard to expect me to know how to do anything if I'm not allowed near it eh? She still rolls her eyes and ohhh gaaaaawd about it but hello?

JD on the other hand, learned how to cook from his grandma at a very young age..but she neglected to teach him how to refill ice cube trays or replace the tp roll. Cookings a breeze, easy peasy lemon squeezy but land sakes don't ask the man to refill or replace.

Packrat, my heart just kinda broke for you.

I didn't get a ton of cooking lessons from my mother, but it was because I took her for granted and just didn't care. PR, you just made me think back and appreciate my mom so much more, thank you.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

BAH I read two paragraphs and quit. I hate articles lamenting the decline in kids morals/intellect/skills etc. It is so insulting to children. Demeaning. What, does the author think that her parents did not think the EXACT same frickin' thing about her when she was young???

Great point, Dreamer! This is why I'm frankly SICK of b.s. articles and lame schools of thought that get organized into clubs or whatever telling people how to parent their children...

How about we all embrace individuality and teach our kiddos to be nice to people and when people are not nice to them, that we'll figure out a solution together?

Aww...I don't have a leg to stand on...I don't yet have children. I have a 2.5 year old niece and she's who I think of when I read these threads. I have no business being over here...but I would like to be someday. Thanks for indulging me!!!

Yeah, Monny, get lost! Don't you know you are not allowed to have any opinions about anything until you have personally gone through it?

I actually think it is good to have a theory of parenting before you have kids. It doesn't mean you think you know it all, or that you will necessarily stick to the plans once the kiddo comes, but it means you will be a present and mindful parent. DH and spent a lot of time talking about the guiding principles we wanted to try to follow when parenting, to make sure we were on the same page and to make sure we had some sort of idea of how to react when certain things came up (like we often talked about the parenting we saw in friends and family, and talked about what we liked and didn't and how specifically we would try to do things differently if it was our kid), and I think it helped us a lot when we became parents. One of our principles is to respect our child, and that means that we will not demean him by lamenting his stupidity to all who will listen

 

[ForteKitty]

One of our principles is to respect our child, and that means that we will not demean him by lamenting his stupidity to all who will listen

I didn't really see the article that way. She sounds more concerned by the lack of effort from the kids, but tried to make it a lil more lighthearted. If my kids didn't want to figure out how things worked, i'd be concerned.

Nobody expects them to know how everything works, but they should want to learn, and a lot of it is common sense. If a teenager has an ice cube tray and has never seen it before, wouldn't you expect him/her to at least bang it on something to see if it'll pop out?

 

[dragonfly411]

You know, honestly, this is the one thing that I hold a slight resentment towards my parents for. When I was growing up, I wasn't taught to fold clothes, or cook, or keep a ledger. Worse still, I never was taught how to do my hair (beyond brushing it/washing) or makeup, and I taught myself to match clothes. I wish I had had more of the life skills instilled in me. I didn't NOT want to know, but my parents worked all day, came home, and expected us to keep to ourselves until they finished dinner and did any chores. They were so tired, they didn't really have the energy to teach as well as do.

 

[fieryred33143]

My mom was a very old school SAHM during my childhood. She believed that the mother should do everything for everyone. My only chore was to clean my room. I was expected to be respectful and do well in school. That was it. I never learned how to cook and my mother didn't bother with teaching me.

When my brothers were young, my mother worked. My mom taught them how to make breakfast and lunch for themselves because there were times when she wasn't there to do it for them. I was around to make sure they didn't hurt themselves or burn the house down. My brothers are fabulous cooks. One does all the cooking for his roommates and two other apartments (so in total, 10 people). They pay for the food and he cooks every day for them. Works out for him since he's always broke They also do their own laundry although they claim they leave the laundry for when they go home since mom "loves to do it for us." Yeah, riiiight.

I still don't cook at almost 30 years old. My daughter is young but I have her follow me around when I'm doing chores and "help" me (i.e. the fun stuff like taking clothes out of the dryer once it's cooled down, pushing the vacuum with me, sweeping which really just her spreading the dirt everywhere, putting her clothes inside of her drawers). FI cooks and when he does, he sits her in the high chair and tells/shows her everything he is doing.

 

[ChinaCat]

Same song, different verse. We've all heard that famous quote:

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

-Attributed to Socrates, a really really long time ago.

What I find interesting is that IF you take the assertion that some kids look blankly at the thing they can't figure out (ice tray, car window, etc.) as truth, WHEN does that change happen? Because now, my kid is fascinated to figure things out. He will patiently turn things every which way, press every button, try everything he can to get it to work. I love watching it. Now I know this is developmentally what all kids do, but at what point do kids cease to be interested in figuring things out? And my guess is this has something to do with how you parent- i.e., at some point, kids move on from that phase and if you don't keep making them try to figure things out on their own, they get lazy about it (like all of us)?

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

One of our principles is to respect our child, and that means that we will not demean him by lamenting his stupidity to all who will listen

I didn't really see the article that way. She sounds more concerned by the lack of effort from the kids, but tried to make it a lil more lighthearted. If my kids didn't want to figure out how things worked, i'd be concerned.

Nobody expects them to know how everything works, but they should want to learn, and a lot of it is common sense. If a teenager has an ice cube tray and has never seen it before, wouldn't you expect him/her to at least bang it on something to see if it'll pop out?

I don't believe the article was written for any other purpose than to allow adults to read it and somehow laugh at the younger generation. To me, that is disprespectful.

But even if it was written for a more benign purpose, or the humour is just not to my taste, I still disagree with the message. If my son could not get icecubes out of a tray, I would patiently encourage him to experiment and figure it out, I certainly would not bemoan his apathy publicly. Honestly, intelligence and creativity are required to experiment with your environment, maybe the child in the story is not that bright? He should be scorned for that? My husband is not always the most creative with his environment, and does not have the best visuospacial abilities (a skill also needed to envision what you do to get something stuck from a tray), I try not to make fun of him for it either. Or perhaps the child in the story is afraid of breaking the tray and does not want to anger his parents?

I prefer not to interpret my child's or any other child's behaviour in the most negative light and instead think of more compassionate explanations if I can.

That or just blame the horrid parents

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

What I find interesting is that IF you take the assertion that some kids look blankly at the thing they can't figure out (ice tray, car window, etc.) as truth, WHEN does that change happen? Because now, my kid is fascinated to figure things out. He will patiently turn things every which way, press every button, try everything he can to get it to work. I love watching it. Now I know this is developmentally what all kids do, but at what point do kids cease to be interested in figuring things out? And my guess is this has something to do with how you parent- i.e., at some point, kids move on from that phase and if you don't keep making them try to figure things out on their own, they get lazy about it (like all of us)?

I think some kids are more exploratory that others right from that age, China. As I said, that type of curiosity is a type of intelligence. And then for some other kids the behaviour is punished I bet, or at the very least not encouraged. "Be seen and not heard" is not really a parenting philosphy that is compatible with exploration. Neither is the desire to keep a very neat and tidy house, or never have anything break, or the desire to avoid tantrums and attention in public. Manners trump creativity and exploration in many households I think. And don't get me started on school

 

[Haven]

BAH I read two paragraphs and quit. I hate articles lamenting the decline in kids morals/intellect/skills etc. It is so insulting to children. Demeaning. What, does the author think that her parents did not think the EXACT same frickin' thing about her when she was young???

Hear, hear!

I found this article SO demeaning to children. The mother quoted as saying her daughter "literally does not know how to use a can opener" is the one who is the nincompoop, in my opinion. So: your daughter can't use a can opener, and your first response is to watch her become frustrated by a non-pull tab can and reach for something else, and then your second response is to contribute an exasperated quote about her inability to an article about nincompoop children. REALLY?! How about you walk over to your daughter and show her how to use the can opener?

Kids who lack life skills are SYMPTOMATIC of parents who failed to teach those skills to their children. The article appears to put the focus on the parents in the title and at the start of the piece, but then the general tone of the article quickly becomes condescending towards children, and then the rest of the piece places the blame on technology. I just don't buy it. WE enable helplessness and dependence in our children, not the technology.

 

[TravelingGal]

BAH I read two paragraphs and quit. I hate articles lamenting the decline in kids morals/intellect/skills etc. It is so insulting to children. Demeaning. What, does the author think that her parents did not think the EXACT same frickin' thing about her when she was young???

Hear, hear!

I found this article SO demeaning to children. The mother quoted as saying her daughter "literally does not know how to use a can opener" is the one who is the nincompoop, in my opinion. So: your daughter can't use a can opener, and your first response is to watch her become frustrated by a non-pull tab can and reach for something else, and then your second response is to contribute an exasperated quote about her inability to an article about nincompoop children. REALLY?! How about you walk over to your daughter and show her how to use the can opener?

Kids who lack life skills are SYMPTOMATIC of parents who failed to teach those skills to their children. The article appears to put the focus on the parents in the title and at the start of the piece, but then the general tone of the article quickly becomes condescending towards children, and then the rest of the piece places the blame on technology. I just don't buy it. WE enable helplessness and dependence in our children, not the technology.

I skimmed the article, so I'd have to go back and read it again, but I didn't take that it was demeaning to kids at all (although I'm sure the tone was meant to be that way). I was honestly floored that parents don't teach their kids to tie their shoes or any of the other stuff!

My kid will be teaching ME how to use all kinds of things in the future (much like I tried to teach my mom how to program the VCR...she never got it though). But I think I still need to teach them some "old fashioned" skills too.

And re: computers - having worked in the educational software industry for years, I plan to keep my kind away from it as long as possible. Some insider knowledge, as well as that computers are just hard on the eyes.