General ettiquette at Pampered Chef type parties

[MichelleCarmen]

Okay, I was invited to one of those type of parties. It wasn't for Pampered Chef, but similar, you know, like the purse parties & cosmetic ones. The person who hosted the party I BARELY know. I mean it's only been a few weeks since her and I met, but with me wanting to meet new friends, I said I'd go.

The deal is I NEVER intended to buy anything the representative woman was selling and I never cave to commission sales staff, so when the woman selling the products (not the one who invited me) went on and on about her products, telling me all the details, she never convinced me to change my stance and buy her merchandise. Like I said, I went for socialization ONLY.

Question is should I have politely declined the party invite since the theme of the party was the products and buy, buy, buy? Later after I went, an aquantaince of mine said I'm suppose to buy something because the host always get free gifts depending upon how much the representative at the party sells or I shouldn't have gone to it. (Oh, and FWIW, I was the only gal who didn't whip out her checkbook and now I wonder if I'm not going to be invited to hang out with the gals again because of that!)

 

[Skippy123]

Well if I go to those things I usually buy; that is sort of what they are about. If it is something I am not interested in then I decline the invitation. I do love Pampered chef, they have a great Garlic Press and I hosted one party once(my one and only party) after my friends talked me into it and not one person didn't buy. I don't like the candle party's and have been invited to them and declined attending because I knew I wouldn't buy and I was invited to a Mary Kay party and bought.

 

[Rhea]

This is why I dislike these types of parties.

This question was asked at work recently with the answers being split about half and half with what people thought you should do. I''ve never been to one and haven''t bought, but I also tend to decline the invitation. I personally think it''s fine to go to socialise and meet people. No one worthwhile is going to stop talking to you or inviting you out because you didn''t buy a juicer or wisk, but I do think that others will have noticed that you didn''t purchase anything and wonder if you enjoyed yourself or knew how the parties worked.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Okay. Aside from it being socialization for me, all our kids are the same age and the kids were there. I thought of it as a play date too since we've been doing a bunch of those over the last few weeks.

Ah, how awkward now!

ETA - I do not think I'll go to a party like that again. I don't want to feel used by someone or worry they won't now be my friend. Kind of sounds like high school!!!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/6/2008 6:17:23 PM
Author: MC
Okay. Aside from it being socialization for me, all our kids are the same age and the kids were there. I thought of it as a play date too since we''ve been doing a bunch of those over the last few weeks.

Ah, how awkward now!

Well, I guess it depends on the host. I had a friend insist I went but it was for more socialization reasons and really was a party afterward. I guess I would figure out if it was purely for buying or for both depending on who is throwing it.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 8/6/2008 6:17:23 PM
Author: MC
Okay. Aside from it being socialization for me, all our kids are the same age and the kids were there. I thought of it as a play date too since we''ve been doing a bunch of those over the last few weeks.


Ah, how awkward now!

ETA - I do not think I''ll go to a party like that again. I don''t want to feel used by someone or worry they won''t now be my friend. Kind of sounds like high school!!!

That''s why I don''t attend them. I may be projecting onto you.

Really, I wouldn''t worry about the past party. You went and it sounds like you and your kids had fun. Maybe you met a couple of nice people? It''s hard to find social activities as an adult.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 8/6/2008 6:25:18 PM
Author: Addy


That''s why I don''t attend them. I may be projecting onto you.

Really, I wouldn''t worry about the past party. You went and it sounds like you and your kids had fun. Maybe you met a couple of nice people? It''s hard to find social activities as an adult.

You''re not projecting at all. This was the first party I went to for the reasons you stated.

Having women I hardly know expecting me to write out checks for over $250 is crazy. Everyone was spending at least that much while I was thinking about my younger son starting kindergarten and us having to pay for it, plus school clothes, etc. I''m also trying to down-size my spending so we have more savings.

 

[Haven]

I''d have to say that the proper etiquette would be to NOT invite people to your house to try to coerce them into buying products so you can get free stuff in the first place.

You did not do anything wrong, and if any of these women shun you for not purchasing something you don''t want or need, well, consider it a blessing that you know how they are prior to pursuing friendships with them.

None of my friends or family has ever had any of these parties, but a few colleagues have invited me to candle and jewelry parties, and I''ve always declined. This sort of thing is the height of awkwardness, in my opinion. When I have people to my home, I invite them only because I look forward to spending time with them, and to treating them to a lovely time.

I''ve found that I meet the best people in interest-based classes--pottery, dog training, things that I take because they''re interesting to me. Maybe you could take a class or two?

 

[Sabine]

I don''t know what you should do, but I know that whenever I go to these parties, even if I really DON''T want anything, I break down and buy SOMETHING (usually the cheapest thing I can find if I really don''t want anything). I attended a high number of these types of parties for socialization, and it actually ended up leading me to a really great group of friends. I don''t think you should have to buy, and agree that the whole situation is just awkward, but I definitely feel pressured when I''m there and figured that if I had to shell out $10 for a lip gloss that I really didn''t need, it wasn''t much different than buying a drink out to socialize anyway.


ETA: I just remembered, I did go to a jewelry party once where I didn''t buy anything because the cheapest thing in the WHOLE catalogue was $50. To me, that was just too much for something I knew I really didn''t want. Luckily, the host was a really good friend who didn''t make me feel awkward at all because she knew I didn''t really wear much jewelry and was on a budget.

 

[Miranda]

I think the expectation at parties like that is that you are going to buy something. I don''t think it''s THAT big of a deal that you chose not to. If the products don''t appeal to you, the products don''t appeal to you. There is nothing set in stone that you must buy something and it must be several hundred dollars worth. If these ladies shun you because you didn''t buy something then, Haven is right, you are better off knowing that now. I wouldn''t want friends like that. My gut tells me that you are probably more worried about it than they are.

 

[diamondfan]

I am going to semi rant here and say for the most part I HATE those parties. If it is something great I cannot get elsewhere, that I want anyway, and prices are great, FINE. Otherwise, it is pimping yourself out to get a few freebies at the end of the night and it irks me. If one could go, check out the stuff and NOT be pressured, and NOT buy anything without getting attitude, again, FINE. But mostly these things are about volume and it is nervy to ask someone you do not know well and give them the hard sell in your home via these companies.

I have been to tons of them, including Tupperware (great stuff that I wanted anyway so I gave my friend the points instead) and Southern Living at Home (again, had seen the catalog, they had great stuff I wanted to buy anyway so I got it from my friend)...

On one hand, the person giving it is opening their home and providing snacks, and I think most guests know the drill about the hostess getting free stuff. But no one says they have to do this, and the pressure can be immense.

I have a friend in my area, very upscale homes, and she has a very expensive Italian company come down from NYC in a van. Her entire basement becomes a clothing store and people buy from her, she gets a percentage of sales towards clothes. I am talking slacks that are 700.00 etc. I bought a bunch of stuff in spring, never wore any of it, and there is no easy way to return, you could send it back to Madison Avenue and get store credit but she gets pissy then. Who needs it? I thought it was nice because there is not one of these stores in Philly and I happen to like their clothes, but still...it becomes awkward. Initially she had this woman from the Hamptons come done and do the same thing, her stuff was less high end but still pricey, and I ended up having an issue with a stone coming off a tank top that I had yet to wear, and though my friend somewhat went to bat for me, this jerk store owner was so intent on giving me crap over replacing ONE tank top (100.00) she lost me as a customer in the future. Mind you, I had spent close to 4000.00 on clothes that day, AND she tried to tell me they had never had an issue with these tops (you now just did) and wanted me to pay to send it back to her in NY, wait while she sent it to the company and then I would get it back in about 6-8 weeks assuming they had the same stone still to repair it with...meanwhile, it would mean getting it back in the fall and not really getting summer use out of it. I told her, I cannot wear this year round here, I want it for summer, YOU swap it out and YOU send the damaged one back and YOU deal with the company, why should I be screwed in this equation?? I never even wore the stupid thing and I noticed the stone was gone when I went to wear it for the first time).

Anyway, it really boils down to, in my view, if you want the stuff anyway, and might not have access easily otherwise, and you want to socialize while you shop, fine. But there cannot be undue pressure if you go and decide NOT to buy anything, which there normally is. That is why I tend to decline those invites, saying I am busy but thanks so much anyway.

 

[Elmorton]

Amen, Haven. I think it''s rude to have those parties in the first place. My mom goes to them like crazy (she cannot turn down 1. a gossip opportunity and 2. a spending opportunity) so I have stuff from nearly everything - Tastefully Simple, Lia Sofia, Cutco, Avon, Mary Kay, Party Lite, etc. Oh, and let''s not forget my cousin who does Longeberger (though I do love the recipe box/basket thingie that I was given for a wedding present). What drives me crazy is that the mark-up is insane and it''s like all those companies have figured out that people go to them out of politeness so they''ve upped the price of the cheapest item (which is what I''d buy if I attended). GRR! Sometimes I do go just to meet people and socialize, but yeah...I always buy something small. I never go if I know I''m not going to find anything that I want for less than $15.

It just bugs me that a company''s selling tactics can be based on people''s guilt and politeness. It''s sortof like those kiosks at the mall where they sell insanely priced lotions and scrubs and hire someone who is clearly from another country. As you pass by, the people hold lotion and say "May I ask you a question?" - and if you are a polite human being, you automatically answer yes, but then the person launches into a sales pitch and is all of a sudden attacking you with lotion and you don''t know what to do except to be rude, which makes me feel horribly guilty for being rude to a person who knows very little English and is probably getting paid less than minimum wage. To me, the home party is just like that. I don''t like being scammed because I''m a nice person.

 

[somethingshiny]

If I don''t intend on buying (which sometimes happens), I tell the hostess when I receive the invitation. I offer that spot back to her if she wants to get in a "buyer" to make her own quota for her free stuff. But, I''m a huge party helper, so they always want me to come anyway, maybe so I fill up the platters and make the drinks....

I don''t think it''s wrong to attend a party and not buy products, though. I just state my cause ahead of time so there''s no hurt feelings.

 

[miraclesrule]

Ditto to Haven. It should be about community and if someone finds something they like, then great!! But if one is expecting you to buy...forgetaboutit. That''s crass.

skippy, I love my pampered chef garlic press. Although I have to say that when I starting learning how to use my chef''s knife, I did try to cut it up myself. I ended up going back to my Pampered Chef garlic press very quickly.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Those parties irk me as well.

We *had* a friend, the wife of DH's best man, who wasn't making any money while her husband was in grad school but wasn't willing to get a salaried job. She invited me to one of those parties for jewelry (the ones where everything costs $50 or more), and I personally just wear diamonds all the time

but I felt like I had to buy something, so I got some red beaded necklace for $50. When I looked at it closely, I noticed that there was one green bead thrown in with the red ones.

The party was literally me, one other friend of hers, and two women from the real estate office where she worked.

Unfortunately, when the time came to buy a house and we did not use her as our realtor, she dumped us. We were darned if we did and darned if we didn't. I remember her talking really unprofessionally about this teacher I work with whose brother she's friends with. "I can't believe he didn't use me as his realtor! [Friend] should have convinced him to!" She really had this sense of entitlement to her friend's brother's business. Another time she went on and on about how these clients just wouldn't buy a house already, darn it! But she didn't have the self-awareness to realize how she would come off as a realtor always putting clients and potential clients down that way, or the graciousness to allow us to make a decision that was best for us, not her. Our savvy realtor negotiated the price on our house way down and got more than I even wanted to ask on our condo, and I know she wouldn't have had the skills to do either of those. From the way she talked about her clients, I'm pretty sure would have pressured me to take any deal so she could get the commission.

When I look at that stupid necklace I'm sorry I wasted an awkward evening and $50 on somebody who cared more about my business than my friendship.

 

[vespergirl]

Here''s my perspective - I am a consultant for Spa Girl Parties - it''s mostly skin care products. Whenever I invite people to parties, or have them through a hostess, we advertise them as home shopping parties. It''s pretty much expected that you''re there to shop. I usually spend about $100 on food, beverages, fresh flowers, etc. to host a party, and it''s expected that the guests are there to shop, as that''s how we frame it in our invitation. I also give free hand and foot treatments and facials, so people are also getting spa treatments that would cost them at least $50 per person at a spa, so the etiquette for the guest is to purchase something - if they are not interested in attending that''s totally fine, I feel no offense if people turn down the invitation, but it is a little annoying if someone comes over, drinks my champagne & gets a free facial, and then leaves without purchasing anything - especially since my products start at $10, it''s not like you have to skip a mortgage payment to buy a bottle of lotion.

My company is pretty cool though, in that they have an alternative to a shopping party - you can do a "spa party", where the host of the party pays around $20 per person she''s having over, invites her friends, I give them all hand and foot treatments, and there is absolutely no sales pitch. That''s actually a really popular alternative - people book them all the time for bridal showers, baby showers, etc., it''s kind of like I''m the entertainment for the party. This has actually become a lot more popular, because I think like some of you guys mentioned, not everyone loves the shopping parties, and at the spa parties, there is no sales pitch, and no pressure to buy.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/7/2008 2:01:13 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Ditto to Haven. It should be about community and if someone finds something they like, then great!! But if one is expecting you to buy...forgetaboutit. That''s crass.

skippy, I love my pampered chef garlic press. Although I have to say that when I starting learning how to use my chef''s knife, I did try to cut it up myself. I ended up going back to my Pampered Chef garlic press very quickly.

They are fab! I owned 5 garlic presses and when I bought the PC one, hubby was "whaaa" how many garlic presses do you need. So he threw out the others and this stayed since it was terrific! haha It is so easy to clean too!!!

The only thing I don''t like is when they try to recruit you to sell

No thank you!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Vesper - your parties sound fabulous! Can I come to one? lol

Seriously, your description is awesome and there is NO doubt, had there been champagne, facials, etc., I''d have enjoyed and purchased products. I''m not a person who''s out to "use" anyone and what you described was ENTIRELY different from what I went to. . .

*** The party, was, and I kid you not, the rep sitting two feet from me, staring me in the face and blabbing on and on like a used car salesman, with all the details of her products without even letting me ask questions. She was force feeding me product info at record speed, without feeding me any real food (lol). They didn''t even serve food! (I''m bolding that only because I haven''t had breakfast and am starving right now. lol)

Had I arrived there and discovered a luxurious fan-fare, I would have dived right into the catalogue and picked out a few great scrubs or handcreams! But, alas, no drinks, food, and no pampering.

 

[Haven]

Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term "party" offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.

Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.

I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy "party" before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a "wish list" that she created before the party. She told me it was my "obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride." Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy "party" was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.
I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

 

[princesss]

See, the only thing like this I''ve ever gone to was a Slumber Party in college, where it was assumed it was more for entertainment than anything else. We''d all pitch in for drinks and snacks, sit back and watch the fun. So the idea that these parties exist for anything other than entertainment is...enlightening. Guess I''ll have to avoid them in the future. Thanks for the heads up!

 

[Bia]

I hate these parties. I got suckered into going once. It was for a "miraculous" juice that supposedly helps alleviate all kinds of ailments using the Acai berry from Brazil. The bottle looked like wine, so they did a great job packaging but the juice was not my taste. And its fine--I didn''t have to like it or buy it. However, I bought ONE bottle to be nice. She repeatedly asked me to join her club, but I declined.

So yes, I think its courteous to purchase something (just one thing)...but you don''t have to. I also don''t think its rude that you didn''t. Like you said, you went to meet people not to be hustled.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/7/2008 11:14:13 AM
Author: Haven
Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term ''party'' offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.

Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.

I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy ''party'' before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a ''wish list'' that she created before the party. She told me it was my ''obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride.'' Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy ''party'' was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.
I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

OMG, that is so funny! I cannot believe she was so serious. Who can be serious when there are adult ''toys'' being passed around!!!??? Miss Dominatrix needs to take a chill pill!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 8/7/2008 2:54:14 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 8/7/2008 11:14:13 AM
Author: Haven
Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term ''party'' offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.

Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.

I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy ''party'' before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a ''wish list'' that she created before the party. She told me it was my ''obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride.'' Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy ''party'' was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.
I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

OMG, that is so funny! I cannot believe she was so serious. Who can be serious when there are adult ''toys'' being passed around!!!??? Miss Dominatrix needs to take a chill pill!

Maybe she''s never quite gotten the hang of her products!?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/7/2008 4:00:02 PM
Author: MC

Date: 8/7/2008 2:54:14 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 8/7/2008 11:14:13 AM
Author: Haven
Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term ''party'' offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.

Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.

I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy ''party'' before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a ''wish list'' that she created before the party. She told me it was my ''obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride.'' Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy ''party'' was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.
I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

OMG, that is so funny! I cannot believe she was so serious. Who can be serious when there are adult ''toys'' being passed around!!!??? Miss Dominatrix needs to take a chill pill!

Maybe she''s never quite gotten the hang of her products!?

LOL!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/7/2008 4:00:02 PM
Author: MC

Date: 8/7/2008 2:54:14 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 8/7/2008 11:14:13 AM
Author: Haven
Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term ''party'' offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.

Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.

I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy ''party'' before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a ''wish list'' that she created before the party. She told me it was my ''obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride.'' Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy ''party'' was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.
I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

OMG, that is so funny! I cannot believe she was so serious. Who can be serious when there are adult ''toys'' being passed around!!!??? Miss Dominatrix needs to take a chill pill!

Maybe she''s never quite gotten the hang of her products!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Too funny MC!!!!

 

[purrfectpear]

As long as you are told ahead of time that you are being invited to a "whatever brand" party, I think it's disengenuous to attend and not purchase a token product. If you hate those (personally I'm not wild about them and only go for close friends) parties, then don't go. If you don't plan to buy, then don't go. If you go, buy something you like, or at least something token. You can always foist it off on someone in the office as a xmas gift

If you want to socialize, invite your buddies to meet you out for dinner, or invite them to your pad for your own party

Shopping party invites are for people who plan to shop IMO.

 

[diamondfan]

I do not think it rude to host one, there are people who enjoy them and like to shop at them, avoid the malls and get some social time in too. You are at liberty not to attend unless you really feel you must say yes. However, I think it is pretty clear when you go that you are expected to buy things and that is the issue. I think if you 100% do not plan to buy, do not go. If you are not sure you will find anything that you want maybe tell the hostess that. Hopefully not every last guest must buy for the party to be a success. Sadly I am the type to buy tons of stuff, I always think, Wow I need that or what a great gift that would make...I am a shopaholic afterall so truth be told I can always find something to spend money on. I sometimes like the house party feeling and I sometimes don''t. If I am close with the hostess, love the items and there is a great group of people, it can be fun. If not, if I feel really pressured or the girls are not nice, it is not so great. If I do not know the hostess well, and the stuff being peddled is not interesting to me, I pass. No biggie, just say I am busy that night but thanks.

 

[Haven]

Date: 8/7/2008 4:39:25 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 8/7/2008 4:00:02 PM

Author: MC

Date: 8/7/2008 2:54:14 PM

Author: Miranda

Date: 8/7/2008 11:14:13 AM

Author: Haven

Vesper--As long as the expectation is CLEAR that it isn''t really a party, it''s a shopping experience, then I suppose I wouldn''t have a problem with being expected to purchase something. I think the hostess in me finds the term ''party'' offensive, because it isn''t a party if you expect people to PAY in some way for attending.


Your gatherings sound like a lot of fun, and I definitely agree that I''d be more interested in purchasing something if the products were being used and demonstrated at the event, and if I was being wined and dined, so to speak.


I went to a bachelorette party where they had an adult toy ''party'' before we all went out. This could have been a lot of fun, but instead the saleswoman was very stiff (oh dear, no pun intended) and she held up each product, explained its function and use, and passed it around the circle. There were over 20 girls there and we were laughing (and drinking) and trying to have a good time, and she kept pausing and staring us down when we spoke or giggled. (I felt like I was in school.) It was so not fun. THEN, she called each of us up to a room individually and pressured us to purchase something for the bride, at the very least, from a ''wish list'' that she created before the party. She told me it was my ''obligation as a guest at this party to at least buy something for the bride.'' Ummm--I had just spent over $60 at Victoria''s Secret for the bride, I did not know this toy ''party'' was planned, and I didn''t like the rep''s attitude. Needless to say I politely declined.

I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

OMG, that is so funny! I cannot believe she was so serious. Who can be serious when there are adult ''toys'' being passed around!!!??? Miss Dominatrix needs to take a chill pill!

Maybe she''s never quite gotten the hang of her products!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Too funny MC!!!!

HAHAHA! Seriously, MC, you''re probably right!

 

[Skippy123]

Oh boy, I got invited to a jewelry party, I am torn now since PS I am a jewelry snob (no cheapie stuff) haha; it is my cousins party. I might just go and buy a little something.

 

[swingirl]

How can you be expected to buy when you don''t know what is offered until you get there? And if you decide after seeing the products that you don''t like them why should you feel badly for not buying anything?

It''s always polite to inform the host that you rarely buy these things and if space is tight she should invite someone else, but if she still wants you, you''d like to come just to browse. That lets her know you are not a money-making guest. I would say it makes the party more fun if more people are there. But the hostess should assume people aren''t going to buy stuff just so she can get her freebies.