E.A.S.Y.

[mayerling]

Has anyone tried the EASY method with a newborn? How easy is it to implement the whole sleeping for an hour and a half in each 3 hour period. My 5.5-week-old son fights sleep and will do 3 hour sets with no sleep and 3 hour sets with 2.5 hours of sleep. I don't know how to get him on a schedule...

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

I don't like the idea of trying to schedule a newborn Sorry to say it because it sure would be nice if kids had a predictable pattern! I read the baby whisperer and other baby books, and while nice for suggestions, I think baby books in general are like diet books: Make it sound easy but the reality is very different.

Rather, I think it can be nice to have a routine, which is a flexible pattern of activities you follow through the day. But the exact timing of those activities follows your chil'd unique body and behavioral rhythms. No its not convenient. But fighting the tides is futile. With our first we worked a lot harder to get things "right" according to the books, and with our second we were more flexible. The end result was the same and the journey more pleasant the second time.

SO my suggestion is to get into a habit of feeding upon waking, and then getting him ready for a nap -- for us it was swaddling and nursing -- as soon as you see the first signs of sleepiness, or when you just think he is ready. In a five week old he will likely only be awake for about 30 mins between sleeps! And his naps can be anywhere from 45 mins to an hour in my experience. Or even only 20 mins. My kids always nursed every 1.5 hours, so I did EAESY. If he was fussy I would baby wear or take him out in the stroller to get him to nap.

Predictable patters emerged for us when the kids were at 3 naps per day, which is around 3-4 months. Prior to that, just do your best

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Oh, and they all "fight sleep", that lasts a while. In the early weeks it is VERY difficult for babies to learn how to change their brain waves, so changing from wake to sleep and from sleep to wake is a big struggle. That's why I personally found that jus trolling with it and doing whatever worked to get them to sleep for the first 3 months was simplest. Despite what the books say you can change your child's routines and behavior at any point, it just takes different methods and tools.

Funny story: We followed sleep training like mad with our first son, WORKED so hard to teach him to sleep on his own and everything else that is recommended. With out second I was much more slow in the process and gradual. End result? Both STTN at 9 months Different methods, same result. So now I am much more flexible in my ideas about sleep and babies and patterns.

Plus, you never really get sleep "sorted". Just when you think its all good they change and their sleep changes and a new challenge comes.

 

[mayerling]

The problem is that my son is hardly ever awake for just 30 mins...

 

[Skippy123]

I had my twins on a schedule; not a strict schedule but they were kind of use to a schedule because they were born almost 10 weeks premature. We did eat, play, sleep; there were so many times I would put them in the swing to get them to sleep, sound machines help (white noise) . I did the 5 S's to help my boys sleep, Swaddle, Sway, Shhh, suck, Sideline. I had the Snugabunny swing. My boys didn't sleep through the night till 9 months. I tried everything but I think they decide their sleep. I did similar to Baby Wise but very loosely. Let me see if I can find the link to the thread where all the sleep books are talked about. I know a lot of moms would wear their babies and that helped them sleep. I will say, my heart goes out to you because the first few months are the HARDEST but they DO get easier!!!!

here is the thread talking about All the sleep books [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/baby-sleep-training-which-books-worked-for-you.149108/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/baby-sleep-training-which-books-worked-for-you.149108/[/URL]

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We used the sleep, eat, play routine (with eat and play both being included as "awake" times) until K started forming her nap schedule. I do think it just depends on the baby, and I also agree that most babies fight sleep, but it worked pretty well for us. As a newborn, K could only go an hour or so before she gave us her first sleep cues. I wouldn't worry too much if he's sleeping a lot and throwing off the 3-hour cycle. But 3 hours of wake time for a newborn is quite a bit. As Dreamer says, every baby is different, but I think that's a pretty big stretch. K's sleep cues were really subtle--by the time she was yawning she was overtired.

 

[swimmer]

M, EASY is a great guideline, but it isn't marching orders and 5 weeks is a bit young to expect anything remotely near a schedule. I used EASY with my first, whose schedule was sleep/lazy eat for an hour or two, scream for two hours, sleep for half an hour while I peed and wondered why I had ever wanted a baby. This was from May to Sept 2010. Now he is a lovely 2 year old who naps for 2.5hrs a day and 11hrs at night straight. I was unable to put him on EITHER of these schedules, he found and established them himself (well, daycare helped).

Now I have an almost month old and he nurses for 40ish mins, sleeps for 3 or 4 hrs, looks at me for 5 mins, and nurses again before nodding off. I sometimes check to see if he is alive. Yeah, it is amazing. (I've now cursed myself by typing that out) I have done nothing to make this schedule, it just is his.

What did work for me when baby #1 was awake (and usually unhappy) for long stretches, was bouncing on the swiss ball, carrying him in the sling, anything with vestibular motion. He hated the carseat so we strolled everywhere. I permanently lost major IQ points during those first few months. But it ended and I know now that I was simply howling at the moon trying to get him to be like other babies. He is still intense and focused, he can play with his trains for hours or follow an ant around the back porch with a crazy fixation. It is just his personality, or as he told me recently when I asked why he was crying, "sometimes I just wanna cry momma." If only I had known that when he was tiny! So, tons of luck to you, sleep dust and all that. But mostly I wish you peace with the situation you are in. I wish I had been more zen and just rolled with it and enjoyed more. All those nutty old ladies who not helpfully say "just enjoy when they are little," well, they are on to something. I always wanted to just hand them my tiny furious adorable chunk of my heart...but I didn't and wouldn't. Wonder Weeks got me through so much, they just tell you what developmentally to expect, they didn't scold or condescend. Love it, could help you?

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Ryder was fussier in the evenings and we also used the excercise ball. For about 3-4 hours each night, from 7pm until about 11pm, either me or DH was holding him and bouncing on the ball since it was all that would sooth and calm him. And the first three months he slept at night either on my chest or beside me while I nursed.

Meyerling if he is awake long periods then try EVERYTHING you can to get him to sleep. Bounce, wear him, swing, drive in the car, the four S's Skippy mentions -- try it all until you find something that gets him to fall asleep and stay asleep or at least sooth. And then just barrel through until his little brain and body develop more and it gets easier.

 

[pancake]

There's a difference between a routine an a schedule. Personally I think that at 6 weeks, implementing a routine is quite reasonable. We did the Eat-Play-Sleep thing and found it worked really well for us, but we have a very easygoing baby so keep that in mind. I would never impose a timed schedule on a young baby. Exception is multiples!

S has always tended to have long naps, but with regressions every now and then, which early on meant that she would only sleep 40 minutes (ie. one sleep cycle). I did do some work on this as well (ie resettling) but in general found that other variants of EWS worked fine too, eg. EWSWS-repeat. A bit of flexibility with this might work well for N. The main thing was that I did not want her to rely on the breast to fall asleep, and I wanted her to have an element of predictability because I think that babies respond well to predictability and repetition with daily life as well as other aspects of their development.

I didn't worry too much about whether she was on a "3 hour cycle" or a "4 hour cycle" (although I know some "approaches" do). She was demand feeding 3-4 hourly, so I just went loosely with that, occasionally a shorter cycle if she was unsettled, etc. Didn't sweat it too much if she didn't sleep at all between feeds - would put her down after the next feed if she hadn't slept the previous one. It's all about consistency, but you can't have anything completely strict, 100% of the time, with a baby. Just doesn't work and will create stress for you.

The other thing to remember is that whilst babies "fight sleep" that doesn't mean that they don't need it. Overstimulation is the worst enemy of sleep - #1 principle is that sleep begets sleep! - and newborns have no idea what they need, they are just trying to work out how to process the zillions of stimuli and sensory inputs that they are dealing with!

Oh - and watch the wake time. I think this is one of the biggest keys in helping a young baby to sleep! Learn to identify early tired cues (before yawning and grizzling start - by then you have your work cut out for you). At 6 weeks, most babies cannot stay up much past 45 minutes or an hour; this includes feeding time. S never made it past 45 minutes at that age - she always tended towards the short side of wake times though. Even now, at 6 months, her waketime is often only an hour and a half, sometimes 2 hours.

 

[mayerling]

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I should clarify that N does provide a lot of sleepy cues after he's been awake for an hour or so - other than yawns, the most obvious one is staring into space. It's just that he fights sleep - has difficulty staying asleep if I manage to get him down - and by then it's time to feed again which means he's been awake for 3 hours.
I don't want to create a routine for my sake. I just want him to get enough rest...

 

[pancake]

So Mayerling, do you mean that he has difficulty staying asleep once already asleep, or difficulty settling to sleep in the first place?

If it's the latter, I'd suggest cutting his waketime back by about 10 or 15 minutes and see if that helps - if you say he displays a lot of tired cues at an hour, maybe try putting him down at 50 minutes? If it's the former, then what is happening at settling time? Is he falling asleep on you then being transferred to the bassinet, or is he being placed in the bassinet awake? Are you patting, shushing, rocking, swaddling, any or all of the above?

To be honest at 6 weeks we found it quite difficult to settle S in her bassinet when she was put down awake, although we did persist. It improved dramatically around 8 weeks. At 6 weeks they are really at the peak of their unsettledness, so things will naturally improve to a large extent too!

 

[mayerling]

Pancake, he has a problem with both.

I've tried everything you've mentioned. He falls asleep on me and is then transferred to the crib, whch sometimes wakes him up and we have to start all over again.

 

[pancake]

Hmmm yeah, the issue you can run into with that is that you become a sleep association for him so when he wakes up in his bassinet and he's not on you, he freaks out.

To be honest at only 6 weeks I wouldn't sweat it all too much - so much is changing and he is naturally unsettled at this age. It will be easier to establish good habits as he gets a bit older. But the overall aim should be - and this only applies if you want him to be able to sleep in his bassinet, lots of parents are happy for their kids to sleep in arms or co-sleep or whatever - that he can fall asleep in his bassinet, ie is put down awake and then goes to sleep. At that age you could try shush-patting, it works well for lots of people (including us, early on).

The other crucial thing I forgot to mention in my first post was the importance of consistency. I think it would be worth you and your hubby sitting down and talking about what you want to do, then sticking to it. Babies seem to need about a week or so to adjust to any major changes, but again - think about how/what/when you want to start implementing those changes.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Mayerling I know this sounds insane, but at 6 weeks I let my kids sleep where they fell asleep, even if that was on me! Its inconcenient, but once he starts getting more sleep and sleeping deeper you may find it gets easier. I would settle in a nice position and get his alseep then just read a book or something. That phase does not last long, and you will miss nuzzling baby when he is older. When you need a break, dad or someone else can hold baby while he sleeps.Then just keep trying over time to teansfer him. Eventually it will work. You can also nap when he naps -- lay down in bed, nurse/sooth him to sleep and then sleep yourself.

I took about 4 months to get Ryder to the point where he could sleep without me holding, nursing, or near him. I used a ergo carrier a lot for his naps and just took a walk. He eventually got used to the carseat and then I would go for drives while he napped, putt over and nap or read a book when he slept.

 

[Kunzite]

Mayerling I know this sounds insane, but at 6 weeks I let my kids sleep where they fell asleep, even if that was on me! Its inconcenient, but once he starts getting more sleep and sleeping deeper you may find it gets easier. I would settle in a nice position and get his alseep then just read a book or something. That phase does not last long, and you will miss nuzzling baby when he is older. When you need a break, dad or someone else can hold baby while he sleeps.Then just keep trying over time to teansfer him. Eventually it will work. You can also nap when he naps -- lay down in bed, nurse/sooth him to sleep and then sleep yourself.

I took about 4 months to get Ryder to the point where he could sleep without me holding, nursing, or near him. I used a ergo carrier a lot for his naps and just took a walk. He eventually got used to the carseat and then I would go for drives while he napped, putt over and nap or read a book when he slept.

I couldn't agree more! O fought sleep from about 5 weeks to 10 weeks so we held him while he slept. Sleep is the most important thing right now, however he can get it. After 10 weeks we were able to work on establishing naps again because he was ready. Just enjoy this time of being able to cuddle the little guy, before you know it he'll be too busy for your cuddles!

 

[Puppmom]

I'll third what Dreamer said. You are not going to create bad sleep habits now. At 6 weeks, get the kid to sleep/stay asleep however you can. DS was actually an independent sleeper then but isn't now so I can assure you that you're not locking your kid into any sleep association at this point. I was bad at baby wearing with DS but I think it'll be a necessity for me this time around as I'll have a toddler running around. I can't wait to try it again!

re: a schedule. I regret keeping (or trying) to keep DS on a strict schedule. All it did was stress me out and make it difficult for me to get things accomplished. Oh, and my social life when to *&^% because I declined any and all invitations that fell during *nap* time...and it's not like I was rewarded with a kid that sleeps great as a result!

 

[mayerling]

Well, I tried to implement a 3-hour EASY yesterday, but I wasn't very successful; maybe it had to do with the fact that we had an embassy appt in the morning to apply for N's US citizenship. This is what yesterday looked like:

6:30 awake, feed
7:15 activity (includes arriving at embassy at 8:15)
8:15 intermittent sleep in carrier (intermittent because we had to go through a bunch of security checks and were asked to leave the carrier behind)

9:30 feed
10:00 activity (diaper change, looking at pictures on embassy wall)
10:15 sleep in my arms and in car
11:45 wake (I kept trying to get him back to sleep until it was time to feed again)

12:30 feed
12:45 dozed in my arms (refused to keep feeding)
1:00 set in crib in drowsy state
1:20 asleep in crib

3:45 feed
4:15 activity (bath, daddy time)
5:00 set in crib in drowsy state
5:15 sleep
5:45 awake (kept trying to settle him back until next feed)

6:30 feed
7:00 activity (went out for a meal - before we went out he would fussy and cry inconsolably for a few minutes at a time)
7:30 asleep in carrier (intermittent sleep where he would wake up and cry for a few seconds - we got home at 8:45 and he started crying inconsolably again)

9:00 feed
9:30 diaper change, thrush medicine, crying inconsolably
10:00 sleep

2:30am feed
3:15am diaper change, thrush medicine
3:30am asleep

5:45 feed
6:15 diaper change
7:00 asleep

8:30 awake

 

[Skippy123]

oh I can say that appts and outings threw off our schedule. just an fyi . It looks like you did great!!! I guess I did EASY too and didn't know it. lol Not sure if it was easy for us because the nurses already had them use to that schedule? I do know sometimes things were not exact. I will say the 5 S's worked the best for getting my twins to sleep, shhhh (sound machine), sway (swing, rocking chair, or me), sideline, swaddle. great job!

 

[Mara]

We did EASY and didn't really know it at first...basically it's just a routine. It's been a while, but I didn't go off of 'should sleep for 1 hour then wake for 1 hour' etc. It was just more along the lines of.. wake, feed, play, sleep, wake, play, sleep, etc. Ours was more like SAE than the other way around but whatever works. It can be any combo, the idea is just 'routine'...and getting into habits. Don't worry about how long they do S or A etc for, just that they are doing it. Eventually they catch on.

My kiddo fought naps like crazy til month 4 but his night sleep was very consistent and he was sleeping 6 hours by 6-7 weeks and just kept going from there. Even now he sleeps 12 hours a night. You can help by trying to help set their circadian rhythms, doing dark room for sleep, bright room for wake; cluster feeding to get them to sleep more easily; we also did the happy baby 4S's to get him to sleep pretty much every time (big help!).

Also one thing that helped big time is Dr. Sears article about sleep habits and cycles, I always recommend it to new parents:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/8-infant-sleep-facts-every-parent-should-know

As with any article, take the absolute specifics with a grain of salt, but what I took from it was basically that we were putting our kid down too early and not letting him fall into a deep sleep before trying to put him down to sleep. Once we rocked/swayed/shhh'd a little longer then he would go down and stay down...also we got REALLY GOOD at the transfer from arms to bassinet with relatively no movement, sometimes it would take 5min just to put him from our arms to bassinet, lol. We'd watch for the point beyond fluttering eyelids etc. Sometimes it'd take 45min to get him down but then he'd sleep for hours.

Really overall I just felt like we kept trying things until something stuck. Good luck!

 

[mayerling]

Mara, thank you for replying. Your post made a lot of sense.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

I thought your Aug 18 day looked great! The only thing I would do differently is feed when he wakes, not when you think he should eat (i.e., 3 hours later).

 

[mayerling]

Thanks for the input, Dreamer. I've been keeping a log for the past two weeks and I'm going to post it soon for help from PSers in finding a pattern.