Body image issues...

[aliciagirl]

...at what point is it past being a typical overly-critical woman and actually needing help?

I''ve noticed that I''m very critical of myself lately. There are definitely days I just want to not go anywhere or where seeing myself not clothed in a mirror literally makes me tear up. I gained maybe 5 pounds, but the way I see myself has changed very dramatically.

I can''t really figure out what really caused it. I know that I dated a lot of guys in life who valued smarts and personality over looks. I never dated anyone who had celebrity crushes or objectified women in any way. FF is definitely different from those guys, but he''s just a typical guy in that way. I mean, I can''t realistically expect any guy I date to not find models/celebrities attractive, it was honestly just something I had never encountered (as odd as that is.) I think some of my insecurities stem from that, deep down, and I know that my SO loves me and doesn''t want me to be different and thinks I''m the greatest girl in the world but it''s just a feeling I can''t shake.

I feel really terrible about it because insecurity is not attractive in another person. At all. It''s not something I ever imagined I would be. I try to reassure myself that every woman I know is insecure about some part of their bodies/person, but I was just wondering if anyone had any insight? Can anyone relate to feeling really self-conscious?

 

[somethingshiny]

I don''t have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say I''m sorry you''re feeling this way. By the looks of your avatar, though, you have nothing to worry about. You''re beautiful!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I''m sorry that you''re feeling down on yourself. I can relate - and I''m a lot of us here can too. I have bleach blonde hair. I know, how hot! Not so much when you''re the new kid at school and people think you bleach it to look that way. "Albino" was my not-so-funny nickname for too many years growing up. I also struggled with acne for a very long time. My skin did not start to clear up until I was in college and after I got on birth control pills. I always felt like people were focusing on my acne when speaking to me and not on what I was saying.

You are beautiful from the looks of your avatar and you should focus on the qualities that you like about yourself. How old are you? Gaining a bit and getting curvier is a part of life and you should accept it for what it is. NOBODY is perfect. We all have flaws and that''s what makes us unique and interesting.

If you''re worried that you are unattractive then maybe you could start a healthier lifestyle - eating a better diet and incorporating a healthy amount of exercise can do wonders if you''ve been slacking (like me). Wander over to the thread here on PS and the ladies there have a lot of good insight.

Also I think it always helps to have a positive attitude. Being negative and miserable never gets you anywhere so cheer up and be grateful that you have all that you do - your health, a loving bf/ff/dh and family, pets that love you and friends who care (in real life and online). Whenever I get down I take a step back and focus on all of the good things in my life and pray for those who are less fortunate than I am.

 

[aliciagirl]

Thanks for the replies, ladies.

DivaDiamond - I also try to take a step back and realize how petty worrying about my appearance is in the big scheme of things. I''m 22 and I''ve been half curvy my whole life. It is something that I accepted about myself when I was 12 and got hips before everyone I knew. I''ve very much a pear shape and I''ve had cellulite and stretch marks for as long as I can remember. Since they are something that have always been there, it''s something that I''ve accepted. I hope that eventually the other things I deem as flaws will become more acceptable to me as I get used to them being there, if that makes any sense.

I do watch what I eat and work out, almost obsessively. Working out is one thing that really seems to boost my self-esteem. I started it as a New Year''s Resolution this year and have kept it up.

It''s like I''m 90% okay with myself, but the other 10% of the time is like a constant nagging feeling of not being good enough and feeling worthless, which is something I rationally know isn''t true, but can''t help feeling anyway. And it makes it worse when I know being confident would make me more attractive but I just can''t get there.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Oh honey. I tried to refrain from replying to this post but alas here I am.

From a girl who was always the tallest in school I have struggled with a distorted body image.

In my high school days I played sports, but supplemented my figure with diet pills and quickly moved to hard core amphetemines. At 16 I was a full blown anorexic, and thank God for my friends and family intervention I managed to become one of the VERY few successful recovery(ing) stories. I am 5 ft 8 and at my low weighed 114lbs at the brink of despair. I tell you, now I am 140 and I think I am huge, but that is RIDICOLOUS but it is a complete mind game.

So, I don't hit the scale anymore. I judge my size by my clothes (normal street wear 2/4 wedding dress cinched up 6) and I will never look back. I can't diet as all it does for me is makes me OBSESS about food, the more I think about food the more I want to eat! Fiance has been super about this, he is so supportive and gives me so much reinforcement.

So honey please, focus your energy in other things. For me controlling my weight became the one thing I thought could help me keep control of my world but in reality it make everything else spiral out of control. This can quickly become a demon.

Good Luck, and I hope that this was not too much information!

ETA: I relapsed in college after dating a personal trainer who was so critical of my body...didn't take long to eliminate that poison from my life.

ETA again: Please don't think that I was a nasty skanky druggy, I was a straight A student, preppy athelete.

 

[aliciagirl]

IWPO - Thanks so much for your reply! I know things like this aren't really easy to talk about. We sound like we are roughly the same size. I also only weigh myself when they do it at the doctor's office. That's both good and bad for me because when clothes are newly washed and a little tighter, I'm convinced I've put on 10 pounds over the weekend.

I try to make sure I eat healthy most of the time and I'm not really actively trying to lose weight. I'm just trying to change how I think/feel about my body. I know that realistically and honestly, my body isn't that bad so I don't know why I see someone 20 pounds heavier when I look in the mirror.

I can't imagine dating a personal trainer - especially one critical of my body. I definitely felt some self-consciousness when SO still was a sprinter for his college track team and was always in phenomenal shape.

I would never think you are a skanky druggy! Lots of women deal with these issues and I've read enough of your other posts to know that you aren't like that.

 

[LAJennifer]

Date: 7/30/2008 9:25:57 PM
Author:aliciagirl
...at what point is it past being a typical overly-critical woman and actually needing help?

I''ve noticed that I''m very critical of myself lately. There are definitely days I just want to not go anywhere or where seeing myself not clothed in a mirror literally makes me tear up. I gained maybe 5 pounds, but the way I see myself has changed very dramatically.

I can''t really figure out what really caused it. I know that I dated a lot of guys in life who valued smarts and personality over looks. I never dated anyone who had celebrity crushes or objectified women in any way. FF is definitely different from those guys, but he''s just a typical guy in that way. I mean, I can''t realistically expect any guy I date to not find models/celebrities attractive, it was honestly just something I had never encountered (as odd as that is.) I think some of my insecurities stem from that, deep down, and I know that my SO loves me and doesn''t want me to be different and thinks I''m the greatest girl in the world but it''s just a feeling I can''t shake.

I feel really terrible about it because insecurity is not attractive in another person. At all. It''s not something I ever imagined I would be. I try to reassure myself that every woman I know is insecure about some part of their bodies/person, but I was just wondering if anyone had any insight? Can anyone relate to feeling really self-conscious?

I think most women feel this way at some time or another (even those celebrities that are objectified). Aliciagirl, I''ve seen your pictures and you have a lot of beauty to go along with those brains. I live in Los Angeles and I see celebrities every day. I haven''t seen ONE who is actually representative of the magazine cover she may grace. Honey, they don''t look like that in real life. It takes hours of makeup application, hair styling, hair extensions, false eyelashes and then photoshop to make them look like that. I was way more self conscious about my looks when I was in my 20''s. By my early 30''s (I''m 35) I became comfortable with myself "as is". Right now, I would "like" to lose about 8 pounds and I might wince a little when my jeans fit a little too tight - but ultimately, life is too short to be unhappy with yourself when you look in the mirror. That being said, it is important to feel good about yourself. How about changing things up a little bit? Buy a fun little dress that you wouldn''t normally wear - try a new hairstyle or color maybe - embrace other parts of your personality that don''t normally take center stage in Alicia''s real-life day to day. A little bit of variety definitely keeps things fresh - for both your self-esteem and relationships.

 

[Haven]

Sweetie, I''m sorry you''re feeling this way. And I have to echo everyone else''s sentiments that you look beautiful in your avatar.

I am not a counselor or therapist or doctor or anyone qualified to give advice. However, as a teacher, if you were my student I would refer you to someone because of what you said right here:

I''ve noticed that I''m very critical of myself lately. There are definitely days I just want to not go anywhere or where seeing myself not clothed in a mirror literally makes me tear up. I gained maybe 5 pounds, but the way I see myself has changed very dramatically.

This worries me because it sounds like your current self-image is affecting your daily life. If seeing yourself in a mirror makes you tear up, and you don''t want to go out because of your perception of your appearance, I believe that is an issue you should address.

I know that people say it is very common to be unhappy with your appearance, and while I''m pretty sure that''s true, just because it''s common does not mean that it is healthy or okay. Please seek out some help while you are at this very good point of recognizing a sudden change in your self-image and wanting to do something to help yourself. Please. From what I''ve seen in my own students, these things get dramatically worse over time if they are not properly addressed.

Good luck!

 

[Lauren8211]

I know exactly how you feel. I''ve dealt with this for YEARS. FF thought i was crazy. I''d get dressed and look in the mirror and bawl my eyes out because of how hideous I looked. I would refuse to leave the house because I was fat, or my skin looked bad, etc, etc.

If you''re doing that, it''s already out of control, and you have to stop it now.

It''s really hard, but you have to TRAIN your brain to think another way. When you look in the mirror and you''re about to tear up, say something positive. I know it''s stupid sounding, and you''ll feel embarassed, but seriously "Fake it til you make it" has never been more appropriate. If you start to cry, step away from the mirror. Go back, look at yourself in the mirror, and say something positive. Say it again, and again. Do it everyday. The best way to break a habit is to replace it with a new one. If you don''t repeat those things in your head, you''ll stop believing them eventually. Just keep at it.

Also, make sure you''re doing other things to help your self-esteem overall, since this is a symptom of that. I realized that because I was struggling in school, instead of working harder at school, I was taking it out on my body. I started really working hard and accomplishing goals, and started to feel better about myself overall, and before I knew it, the crying in the mirror went from daily to weekly to monthly, to... hardly ever.

I still have my days (especially when I''m PMSing), but overall, it RARELY occurs that I''m so upset by my appearance that I can''t leave the house. You just really have to work at it.

Good Luck girl! I know what you''re going through, and it''s not easy or fun.***Hugs****

 

[sunnyd]

Alicia, thank you for starting this thread and thanks for the replies it got. I feel the exact same way. I put on 20lbs last year and I just don''t feel good about myself anymore. FF is really slow on the compliments, and his ex is a lot prettier and more outgoing than me. I''ve always felt that I don''t and will never measure up = self esteem plummeting even further.

Sorry, didn''t mean to threadjack or anything, just wanted to say that I know how you''re feeling.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/31/2008 4:29:10 PM
Author: sunnyd
Alicia, thank you for starting this thread and thanks for the replies it got. I feel the exact same way. I put on 20lbs last year and I just don''t feel good about myself anymore. FF is really slow on the compliments, and his ex is a lot prettier and more outgoing than me. I''ve always felt that I don''t and will never measure up = self esteem plummeting even further.

Sorry, didn''t mean to threadjack or anything, just wanted to say that I know how you''re feeling.

Who is your FF planning to marry? YOU! Because he loves you and thinks you''re GORGEOUS!

NO MORE BEATING YOURSELF UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!

Seriously ladies, the first step to feeling better is replacing those negative thoughts!!! I''m serious!!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 7/31/2008 4:38:14 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/31/2008 4:29:10 PM
Author: sunnyd
Alicia, thank you for starting this thread and thanks for the replies it got. I feel the exact same way. I put on 20lbs last year and I just don''t feel good about myself anymore. FF is really slow on the compliments, and his ex is a lot prettier and more outgoing than me. I''ve always felt that I don''t and will never measure up = self esteem plummeting even further.

Sorry, didn''t mean to threadjack or anything, just wanted to say that I know how you''re feeling.

Who is your FF planning to marry? YOU! Because he loves you and thinks you''re GORGEOUS!

NO MORE BEATING YOURSELF UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!

Seriously ladies, the first step to feeling better is replacing those negative thoughts!!! I''m serious!!

LOL!!! I know!!! What the hell is wrong with my head?!?!?!

 

[Octavia]

Aliciagirl, I know how you''re feeling. It''s much milder for me, but there are times when I look at myself and just think, "ugh." Within the past two years, my metabolism seems to have changed (I''m 26) and it really sneaked up on me. I don''t weigh myself or count calories, but I''m so much more conscious of my body image than I ever was in high school or college, when I never thought twice about it. So I definitely sympathize with you.

There was a really interesting article just a few days ago in the NY Times about how mirrors play with our minds -- I don''t know if it''s any help, but it''s here if you''re interested in reading it. Although it says that most people see themselves as more attractive than they really are when they look in a mirror, it doesn''t really address the group of people who see themselves as less attractive. Which, unfortunately, seems to include a lot of young women. Either way, though, the point is that what we see in the mirror isn''t really what physically exists.

Anyway. Don''t ever believe that you''re alone in this, because you absolutely aren''t. And Haven''s suggestion to see a counselor is worth a thought -- I''ve come very close to doing so a couple times but time and money are in short supply right now. Also, have you talked to your FF about this? My FH can spot it when I start to feel down on myself (generally when I''m PMS-ing) better than I can at this point, and he works very hard to give me the support I need, for which I''m forever grateful. Perhaps yours can be of similar help to you.

Many hugs to you.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 7/31/2008 4:58:05 PM
Author: Octavia
Aliciagirl, I know how you're feeling. It's much milder for me, but there are times when I look at myself and just think, 'ugh.' Within the past two years, my metabolism seems to have changed (I'm 26) and it really sneaked up on me. I don't weigh myself or count calories, but I'm so much more conscious of my body image than I ever was in high school or college, when I never thought twice about it. So I definitely sympathize with you.


There was a really interesting article just a few days ago in the NY Times about how mirrors play with our minds -- I don't know if it's any help, but it's here if you're interested in reading it. Although it says that most people see themselves as more attractive than they really are when they look in a mirror, it doesn't really address the group of people who see themselves as less attractive. Which, unfortunately, seems to include a lot of young women. Either way, though, the point is that what we see in the mirror isn't really what physically exists.



Anyway. Don't ever believe that you're alone in this, because you absolutely aren't. And Haven's suggestion to see a counselor is worth a thought -- I've come very close to doing so a couple times but time and money are in short supply right now. Also, have you talked to your FF about this? My FH can spot it when I start to feel down on myself (generally when I'm PMS-ing) better than I can at this point, and he works very hard to give me the support I need, for which I'm forever grateful. Perhaps yours can be of similar help to you.


Many hugs to you.

That article was definitely interesting. Thanks for the link! FF can also identify when I'm feeling down and he's very supportive but doesn't quite understand it since he thinks I'm great as is. I have mixed feelings about seeing a counselor... I was forced to go when I was younger and I really feel that it did more harm than good. Perhaps I'll try positive thinking and go from there.

Sunnyd - Isn't it crappy when you find yourself comparing you to ex girlfriends. It's totally ridiculous and such a 13-year-old thing for me to do but I do it, too. It doesn't help that SO's "type" before he met me was ditzy, very short, smaller than size 0 girls. He says he grew out of that and that isn't what he finds attractive anymore, but I still compare. I will never be short or a size 0 or ditzy so it's useless to even spend time worrying about it, rationally, but I still do.

Thanks everyone for the advice/support! You guys are great!

 

[sunnyd]

Sunnyd - Isn''t it crappy when you find yourself comparing you to ex girlfriends. It''s totally ridiculous and such a 13-year-old thing for me to do but I do it, too. It doesn''t help that SO''s ''type'' before he met me was ditzy, very short, smaller than size 0 girls. He says he grew out of that and that isn''t what he finds attractive anymore, but I still compare. I will never be short or a size 0 or ditzy so it''s useless to even spend time worrying about it, rationally, but I still do.

Thanks everyone for the advice/support! You guys are great!

I know! That''s what makes me even more upset, because I KNOW it''s stupid and I know what he thinks of me but I can''t shake it. It''s improving over time though, that''s all I can hope for...

 

[Allisonfaye]

I can totally relate. While I am not technically overweight, I know I would look better if I lost about 8 pounds. I am working out every day now and trying to eat healthier but not losing at all. I joined WW this week hoping to lose but I just hate the points tallying. I was given the fewest points they can give and I hate being hungry.

Yesterday, I read someone''s question about a chin implant (on another forum) and if anyone had had one and they showed the before and after profile shots and I looked at my profile and remembered back when I was about 13, a ''friend'' commented on how ugly my profile was. So I got it into my head and I couldn''t stop thinking about it last night.

I think the person who said it is necessary to use other methods to raise your self esteem was right. For me, working out has made me feel proud of myself and great. I am not just doing it to look better, but to feel better and so I am not a burden on my family when I get older. Can you think of things to work on the inside of you as opposed to the outside? I am not going to comment on your appearance one way or the other because I really don''t think the issue here is whether or not you are pretty enough. There will always be prettier and uglier people. The issues is how YOU feel about yourself and whether you can accept the person that you are outside and develop your inside. Does this make any sense at all?

 

[Independent Gal]

Can I just put another plug in for changing your dialogue with yourself?

Case in point: I usually like my body, and before I got pregnant, I had a 19.5ish BMI, so the low end of healthy. But the thing that gets me every time is the lighting in changing rooms. I suddenly look so palid and my thighs look HUGE, while my calves look skinny and horrendous! And lets face it, they sort of are. The fact that I''ve put on 4 lbs so far with this pregnancy doesn''t help (and I''m tiny, frame and height-wise, so 4 lbs is a lot!).

So today I was in Saks trying on a dress I could get really pregnant in comfortably from the sale rack. I caught sight of myself nude in the mirror and started to scream inwardly ''AAAARGH! Look at meeee! I''m disgusting!" And then I stopped. That way lies unhappiness. So I changed my dialogue to "Gawdamn this ridiculous lighting! I wonder if it''s designed to make us unhappy? And check out my cute popping baby belly! And hey, my arms are looking nice and toned." By changing the dialogue mid-stream, and repeating nice things to myself, I saved myself from the spiral downward into misery.

It is amazing how much control we can take over our feelings by actively taking control of the dialogue we repeat to ourselves. Master that (and yeah, it takes practice! Took me a couple of years, actually!), and you find yourself a happier person overall.

2 cts from a happy person with pudgy chicken legs.

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 8/1/2008 7:28:45 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Can I just put another plug in for changing your dialogue with yourself?

Case in point: I usually like my body, and before I got pregnant, I had a 19.5ish BMI, so the low end of healthy. But the thing that gets me every time is the lighting in changing rooms. I suddenly look so palid and my thighs look HUGE, while my calves look skinny and horrendous! And lets face it, they sort of are. The fact that I''ve put on 4 lbs so far with this pregnancy doesn''t help (and I''m tiny, frame and height-wise, so 4 lbs is a lot!).

So today I was in Saks trying on a dress I could get really pregnant in comfortably from the sale rack. I caught sight of myself nude in the mirror and started to scream inwardly ''AAAARGH! Look at meeee! I''m disgusting!'' And then I stopped. That way lies unhappiness. So I changed my dialogue to ''Gawdamn this ridiculous lighting! I wonder if it''s designed to make us unhappy? And check out my cute popping baby belly! And hey, my arms are looking nice and toned.'' By changing the dialogue mid-stream, and repeating nice things to myself, I saved myself from the spiral downward into misery.

It is amazing how much control we can take over our feelings by actively taking control of the dialogue we repeat to ourselves. Master that (and yeah, it takes practice! Took me a couple of years, actually!), and you find yourself a happier person overall.

2 cts from a happy person with pudgy chicken legs.

Yes, this is true. Sometimes I look at myself naked in the mirror and say ''Damn, I look pretty good for a chick with two kids''. Sadly, only sometimes I say this. lol

 

[Pandora II]

Trust me, feeling this way is a state of mind and really not connected to any actual physical characteristic.

When I'm depressed (and I mean clinically here not just a bit down) I feel like the biggest, fattest heffalump on this planet. I hate my jawline, my nose, every bit of me is too big, too long, too knobbly etc etc

Like IWAPW, I struggled with eating disorders as a teenager. I was 5ft 10" and 105 pounds with arms the length of an orang utan! My weight and food intake were the only things I was in control of and boy did I control them!

Today I'm pretty happy over all - I still think my jawline is a bit square, but I quite like the rest of me - and orang utan arms are very useful!

I used to do quite a lot of modelling and I promise you, those girls on the pages of Vogue are the most insecure bunch you can find. The stress of castings where they tell you straight out which bits of you aren't quite right - aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh! Some of the girls are very bright and nice people, but a heck of a lot of them - it would be better if they didn't speak!

Men might momentarily fantasize about these girls, but they wouldn't swap a real-life girlfriend for one of them. Men aren't THAT shallow. Would you swap your SO for Brad Pitt?

But, when you start to feel the way you describe, you need to think about some serious help. Have you considered having some counselling or seeing your GP about whether you might be depressed.

You look lovely in your avatar photo - don't waste years of your life feeling unhappy about you!

Best wishes and a big hug!

 

[aliciagirl]

Thanks again for the support, ladies.

I don''t think I''m clinically depressed. I don''t feel down about other parts of my life and it only interferes with my day-to-day living very rarely. Mental disorders of all sorts do run in my family, though, so it may be worth checking out. I just feel nervous with the whole counselor/psychiatrist thing. I''m a very private person and it''s hard to open up to anyone, let alone a stranger.

I''m thinking of picking up a few new clothes, something I rarely do because I have a full closet, to see if that makes me feel any better about myself. Having on a killer outfit definitely picks my spirits up.

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Alicia,

Ugh. Can I relate. I''ve suddenly developed some serious body image issues. I gained 7 pounds, and I started noticing how much I hate my teeth. In the past weeks, it has grown and grown. Today I went to lunch with my family, and I stood next to my sister (who is slim, gorgeous, with perfect teeth) and felt really bad. Not just *bad* I was in tears when I got home. I just felt totally outclassed, like I was an ugly toad next to her. I feel like everyone is staring at me thinking "oh my gosh poor her! Next to my swan of a sister"

I really don''t know what is wrong with me either. I''m not even someone that is that into looks. I would pick intelligence over beauty in a heart beat, yet in recent weeks it''s gotten progressively worst. I''ve never been insecure, and all of a sudden I feel like my guy is comparing me to every girl he sees and find me lacking

I would bet on it be the recent weight gain, if anything. Are you only self conscious about your weight? Or have you started getting down on yourself for your facial features too?

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 8/3/2008 8:15:02 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Alicia,


Ugh. Can I relate. I''ve suddenly developed some serious body image issues. I gained 7 pounds, and I started noticing how much I hate my teeth. In the past weeks, it has grown and grown. Today I went to lunch with my family, and I stood next to my sister (who is slim, gorgeous, with perfect teeth) and felt really bad. Not just *bad* I was in tears when I got home. I just felt totally outclassed, like I was an ugly toad next to her. I feel like everyone is staring at me thinking ''oh my gosh poor her! Next to my swan of a sister''


I really don''t know what is wrong with me either. I''m not even someone that is that into looks. I would pick intelligence over beauty in a heart beat, yet in recent weeks it''s gotten progressively worst. I''ve never been insecure, and all of a sudden I feel like my guy is comparing me to every girl he sees and find me lacking


I would bet on it be the recent weight gain, if anything. Are you only self conscious about your weight? Or have you started getting down on yourself for your facial features too?

It''s not really even about weight, more about the shape of my body. I beat myself up because I have fat knees or because my tummy sticks out more than it used to or because I have no boobs but am curvy from the waist down. When it comes down to it, it''s mainly about my stomach if I have to be totally honest. I think that''s what gets me down the most. Most of it is totally unchangeable. I will always have fat knees, even if I weighed 100 pounds and I will always have a bigger lower half. I feel like my stomach either used to be totally flat or I just didn''t care enough to notice that it wasn''t.

On bad days I''ll also notice facial features, too. I also hate my teeth and I have the dimple in the middle of my chin (the butt chin, if you will) that I also beat myself up over when I''m already feeling crappy.

I''ve definitely had the feeling of comparing myself to someone I know and not feeling like I measure up. It''s no fun and I''m sorry you''re feeling that way, too.

 

[Daydreamer7130]

Date: 8/3/2008 7:59:22 PM
Author: aliciagirl
Thanks again for the support, ladies.

I don''t think I''m clinically depressed. I don''t feel down about other parts of my life and it only interferes with my day-to-day living very rarely. Mental disorders of all sorts do run in my family, though, so it may be worth checking out. I just feel nervous with the whole counselor/psychiatrist thing. I''m a very private person and it''s hard to open up to anyone, let alone a stranger.

I''m thinking of picking up a few new clothes, something I rarely do because I have a full closet, to see if that makes me feel any better about myself. Having on a killer outfit definitely picks my spirits up.

Why not go to your own primary care provider first? If you are already established with someone, you already trust them and they can help without the stigma of going to see a psych person. You may have some kind of situational depression and may need a little help until things settle down. Some people are intermittently depressed and some are depressed all the time. Meaning, some may need medication/counseling at times and others may need daily medication. Please talk with your primary care provider first.