Anyone have problems with sex drive since stopping the pill?

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/22/2009 5:00:45 PM
Author: Sha
Lara - I think you''re right about getting older and having more life issues to deal with. It can definitely take a toll! One thing that worries me, though, is how things will be when we have children. Whether I''ll have even less libido, being tired and stressed and everything? It''s really something to think about...

I think that like anything, a sense of motivation and generosity can be helpful for getting your ''mojo'' back. I can fully understand why some women find it hard to ''get back on the horse'' after giving birth, you can be very tender for quite some time, more so if there are stitches. Being cut ''down there'' gives you cause to curse the surgeon for about a year!!!

There is also the ''OMG'' factor, when you have a baby the ''mysteries of love'' have been unveiled to be one great big biological joke, in which all laughs are on YOU!!!

But, at the end of the day, it''s more fun to relax, and be loving after having the baby. Fake it until you make it!

If it''s any consolation, men also seem incredibly influenced by ''life pressures''. Or else male menopause... no-one talks about it, but men seem to really fall off IRL from their 30s on. So it seems from talking to my friends.
(although they still like to talk the talk in the media and to their friends, don''t they??!!!)

 

[SparklyLibra]

Sheeesh! Tell me about it!

It took like 6-8 months to get back into the swing of things for me... Luckily DH was working nights and I kinda hid behind that for a while..... Mind you, I''d been on the pill for 4 years....

I''ve been off the pill since Oct 2007 and I''m back to my normal self....

 

[Diamond Confused]

I have no sex drive. I would be happy with only having sex three times a year, seriously! About 5 months ago I went on vacation and forgot my pills at home so I was off it for about two weeks. In that time I wanted to have sex which is rare for me. It all makes sense now - I guess the pill severly lowers my libido.

 

[LaraOnline]

anyone care to discuss?

An Australian sexologist called Bettina Arndt got 98 couples to keep diaries about their love lives... the result, apparently, was that women are ''sexual police'' who are only too willing to cut off the love if the guy annoys them during the day!

link to article explaining the study

I have been pretty surprised at all of this. I guess there will be a wide variety of ''issues'' faced by different couples at different times... but this just seems SO negative! And so... repressed.

What is the problem with these girls? Social pressures? I have to confess, every time I see another tele movie with the photogenic girl gripping the covers - when you just KNOW the guy has it ALL WRONG (it''s not there, it''s THERE!!!) - I mean, how can we still be talking at cross purposes, when it comes to man-woman ''relations''???

Haven''t we got the basic biology covered yet? Because in my mind, that''s what it must come down to... lousy technique and passive-aggressive women who just don''t know how to tell the thickhead what is what!

But, as one woman who hasn''t consented to her husband in three years says, "There is nothing wrong with me..." How can she be so sure? It seems so cold! Perhaps she''s just responding to all the exploitive messages? She''s angry, and political about it?

 

[mia1181]

Interesting article. Reading it made me feel guilty for all the times I have "rejected" my poor hubby. But he''s rejected me on occasion, as well. It takes two to tango and both parties have to be in the mood, which isn''t always going to happen. I am definitely the pickier one. I don''t like to DTD when I haven''t showered, when I have just eaten, or early in the day (it makes me sleepy and puts me in a funk for the rest of the day). But that doesn''t mean we don''t have a good sex life. But I do agree that both partied need to be enjoying it and there needs to be good communication.