Anxiety, Anger and Low Libido!

[PrincessDijon]

O.k. so I know there are a million and one "anxiety" threads on here but none that appear to be recent...So, basically here''s my story...

I have been having extreme mood swings lately, mainly angled towards the anger spectrum and I am usually not a heated type of person but lately everything seems to be angering me....I honestly feel so bad for my bf because I usually just end up making him stay up with me all night as I cry and (sometimes yell) and then eventually make him cry and pretty soon I don''t go to bed until 6 or 7 a.m.

I definitely have had some tough times financially the last few months due to leaving my job...My SO and I worked together and I was getting a ton of heat since I was his boss....that plus 60-70 hour work weeks were mentally draining so, I thought that leaving my job would be the best answer! Then, I got a job a few days after quitting and found out that I wouldn''t be working for a month as the place i was going to was a new location....

So, at the end of May, I had the following on my plate....

1. Quitting my job without a backup.
2. Getting a job a few days later with a new company that wouldn''t open its doors til late June.
3. Still working on the pending divorce.
4. The money from the ex hubby stopping in June (gee how convenient)
5. Bills racking up from not being able to pay them...
6. Feeling ashamed for asking my FF for money to pay rent since I couldn''t get out of my lease til Sept....

So, basically these feelings have been the foundation and stem for many many more panic attacks and sleepless nights... I honestly don''t think that I have cried as much as I have in the last two months...

I really want to get help but I have no health insurance and COBRA coverage is OUTRAGEOUSLY pricey!

These symptoms are starting to get to my bf more and more and I really don''t want to ruin the great relationship that I do have...(not to mention that I am having a huge problem with low libido and back pains....probably due to the crazy stress that is going on....) Any ideas on how to get my life back????

Thanks for listening!

 

[mimzy]

i'm sorry it's been such a hard two months for your PrincessD

BUT, as weird as this sounds, there are a lot of good things about what you're saying.

- all the stuff that you have going on make it sound like your anxiety is very circumstantial. meaning, it'll *likely* go away once you get more settled. it would be a red flag if you were experiencing the same symptoms but had very few bumps in your life right now, but what you are describing i think would be most people's reaction to your current situation, at least to a degree.

- you are going in the right direction! you quit your job and even though you didn't have a backup, it's a positive step towards more happiness. and now you even have a job lined up! even though you're feeling pinched right now, you KNOW that will stop once you get into your new job. the divorce will probably take time, but as long as you're still moving forward, that's all you can ask for sometimes. for now you just have to weather the storm, which at least is a storm you know is going to be calming soon!

now are you having mood swings and crying a lot, or are you having true panic attacks? panic attacks are much more than just "freaking out" - they involve very intense physiological reactions that are impossible to miss such as chest pains, trouble breathing (not from crying too hard though), a feeling of impending death, weakness, etc. and dont generally last more than 30 minutes or so (i think average is 15 maybe??). if you are indeed experiencing these, get yourself to a free clinic or go to a university that offers medical treatment and/or therapy on a sliding scale in their clinic.

as for suggestions, all i can really offer are the standards: get lots and lots of exercise to dissipate the stress, eat right, try to relax with a cup of decaf tea or a hot bath before bed. you might want to also try making a list of all the things that need to happen to get your life back to where you want it to be and identify the ones that are in your control and those that aren't. for the ones that are in your control, write out what you're doing to make that happen (and do them!). also, is there anyone that you talk to about everything? it sounds elementary, but even just talking to a friend or your bf on a detailed level can be the release that you need and just aren't getting. i hope you feel better soon!

ETA: i hope i don't sound like i am minimizing what you're going through, i understand it must be very very hard on you right now. i know that a lot of my suggestions were laughable in the face of clinical anxiety, but just given the circumstances of yours, i thought it might be at least worth a shot!

 

[aprilcait]

I''m sorry you''re facing so much right now. How stressful!

First, I would recommend not making your FF stay up with you while you are awake at night. Though having someone awake to listen to you/yell at/talk at when upset might feel helpful/comforting in the moment, it could be damaging to your relationship. Making him stay awake with you and then having him witness/listen to/be subjected to your anxiety and/or anger is unfair, and may cause him to harbor some resentment toward you. It''s very nice of him to have stayed up with you so much when you were upset, but it''s not healthy for either of you for him to continue doing that, especially if he ends up crying as a result of your anxiety attacks. If you find yourself striking out when faced with one of these anxiety attacks, you should definitely go to a separate area until you can trust that your behavior is under control. There''s no reason to let yourself lash out at someone who cares for you so much (not that I''m saying you are lashing out at FF... it''s just the sections in your post in which you noted your feelings of anger and FF crying lead me to believe that that might be a possibility.)

Second, I''m not sure whether you are religious at all but seeking counseling through a pastor/priest/rabbi might be helpful to you. It sounds like you could certainly benefit from some talk-therapy (heck, who couldn''t, right?

). Counseling is a major part of a religious leader''s job. Even if you''re not religious or if you don''t belong to a church/parish/synagogue, pastors/priests/rabbis are open to helping those not of their faith.

I hope things will only get better for you and FF. You''re in my thoughts!

 

[Daydreamer7130]

I am so sorry!!!

COBRA is very expensive. Try www.ehealthinsurance.com. I am a self employed RN and this is where I get my health insurance from. Many different plans from different companies and you pick what you need or don''t need- like maternity coverage or prescription benefit. You can tailor your plan to your needs.

**HUGS**

Cyn

 

[Independent Gal]

It sounds like you''re very stressed right now because your life is very stressful! That doesn''t mean you have a mental health condition, it means you''re stressed out. It''s situational, as a previous poster said.

What you need is some techniques to manage your stress. Do you exercise? Have you tried yoga or deep breathing? What other kinds of things relax you? Taking baths? Going to the movies? View it as your responsibility to help yourself calm down.


Mainly, though, I have a suggestion for helping prevent this type of situation from happening again. Once you are employed again, why not start a savings account? Living from cheque to cheque is extremely stressful for exactly this reason: you can''t cover yourself for a few months in case of trouble. So as soon as you''re earning again, start saving a substantial portion of your cheque so that, heaven forbid, if you find yourself in this kind of situation again, you can continue to pay your bills if you''re out of work for a few months. Ideally, you should have 3-6 months worth of expenses saved up, according to financial planners.