1st Birthday Party Do's and Don'ts

[vizsla]

i've just starting thinking about planning my DS 1st birthday party (his birthday is on halloween 10/31, so i better get on it).

i have NO idea what to do, what i should prepare for...

i'm hoping some of the seasoned mom's can help me out.

what i want: low key, easy, casual, comfortable
what i don't want: mass chaos, a million people, bounce house

so... obvs i already have a built in theme but aside from that i'm stuck as to how to make it fun for adults (and a few kids) without killing myself and/or spending a ton of $$.

at this point i'd just take a list of any do's and don'ts

thanks in advance!!

 

[dragonfly411]

Vizsla
I don't necessarily think that a first birthday party should be fun for the adults, it should be fun for a 1 yr old. I'd suggest planning a separate mini cake for him to play in. I do suggest having some kind of food for the adults, but without knowing your tastes I can't recommend what. Perhaps do bubbles, or some kind of Halloween like fun?

 

[Jennifer W]

Fun! Nice date, too. You can have a costume party if you fancy it.

Will you have many kids there? Different ages? Obviously a group of one year olds won't play together, but older kids might be more self-reliant.

We had a very easy, low key party for A's first birthday - we just told people that we were having cake and champagne between 4pm and bedtime on the day. That way, I could make a great big cake and just chill some bottles, lay out some plates, forks and glasses and the rest just sort of happened. No one expected catering, because I didn't call it a party.

Amelia had a fantastic time because the people who called in all brought her a gift to open, and the adults had a fantastic time because there was cake and champagne... Easy. Plus, not much clean-up.

The best thing was that everyone didn't arrive at the same time, so it never got overwhelming or even frightening for her.

 

[janinegirly]

lol on bounce houses since this is what I was considering for my DD's 2nd b'day---now delayed till 3rd though.

For a 1st I have to slightly disagree with the above in that it is more for adults and the pictures...let's be honest. A one year old won't really understand what's going on and depending on his/her temperament may not actually enjoy tons of people around her singing strange songs (hehe). Keeping it simple is great, so I would say immediate family (who will want to be there epsecially if it's the first grandchild!) and maybe 2-3 children (and their parents of course ). That's the piece advice I had heard..not to have too many kids. Keep the time frame brief..1.5 hrs since most 1year olds can't last much longer before crankiness sets in. Of course you can have a theme, catered food,etc etc. but do what is easiest for you since again the 1year olds will not be partaking in most of that! A fun mini cake for baby, and easy presents to open, limited time frame and not too many kids. Don't go crazy on themes and being the perfect host. That's my general advice.

 

[vc10um]

Fun! Nice date, too. You can have a costume party if you fancy it.

Will you have many kids there? Different ages? Obviously a group of one year olds won't play together, but older kids might be more self-reliant.

I think the list of attendess is pretty important to figuring out what kind of party stuff is going to go on.

One thing many bakers are doing now is making Smash Cakes for the birthday girl or boy. Here's a picture for an idea: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2438/3681044143_32ce30f4dc.jpg I think it's a really cute idea that they have their own special cake or cupcake.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Viz, we're on the same page here. I have a coworker who did this Mini Mouse theme for her daughter's first birthday -- everything matched from the invitation to the birthday girl's dress to the cake to the cookies to the personalized goody bags. I only know this from FB as thankfully I was not invited.

Before we had kids, DH and I attended some friends' son's first birthday, and it was really painful. I think we were too far down the list of close friends for that sort of thing. We just sat there being bored.

Here's what I am thinking:

* eVites -- why spend the $$$ on invitations when everyone who is invited knows about it already?
* family + two couples with babies + the family 3 doors down
* a cake and/or cupcakes for Claire and guests
* maybe a cook-out, if we decide to have it before her bedtime

I'm totally stealing the "come between this time and this time" idea. DH's parents are divorced, and while we want them to be comfortable attending events together, there's also no reason to force them to interact for long periods of time.

 

[vizsla]

thanks!
yeah... i always thought the 1st birthday was mostly for family and close friends who want to celebrate (which is why i'm planning on serving adult beverages) - and not so much a 'real' party for the actual birthday boy we, obviously, will do a cake of some sort... (i say of 'some sort' because DS is allergic to both dairy and soy... poor kid is going to have some gross bulgur wheat cake or something equally as unappetizing )

i also should have mentioned that insomuch as i want this to be a birthday party.. i also want to celebrate the fact that DH and I MADE IT THRU HIS FIRST YEAR! we've had some ups and downs with this kiddo and the fact that we are still married at the end of his first year is something to celebrate

that said, i like the 'drop by' champagne (or halloween theme drink???) and cupcake idea. DS is typically pretty happy after his second nap until bedtime.. is that an OK time?? also, i was thinking about doing this on saturday - too encroaching to single adults - thus ruining their saturday night??

i'm thinking we will have about 20 family/friends and possibly 6 to 8 kids who might show. doing a halloween goodie bag would be no problem for the kids ......

 

[Mara]

viz there is a vegan cake book i have if you want me to look up a recipe or something and send it to you let me know. i think it uses rice flour and the like for most of the stuff.

ditto smash cake. we are so doing that and i am making it for J...it'll be a giant cupcake. we're also doing a photo shoot of it.

ditto more for adults than kids. the kid is 1--they won't have half an idea what's going on. we will prob have 2-3 other 1-2 year olds there but that's about it. we don't know that many people with kids and i also don't want a lot of larger/older kids coming because then it will just get crazy chaotic. if i can keep the kid count under 5 under 2-3 that would be fabulous.

love the champagne and cake idea! totally classy and easy peasy.

we'll probably do a catered bbq thing with a cake and drinks... we've done this the last 2 years for parties and it's super easy, low mess/clean up and we leave the invite open for about 4-5 hours so people can float in and out and that's it. and no guarantee birthday boy will be awake.

overall i think just plan something YOU think would be fun for you guys and low-key. C will have fun if everyone else is. that part is easy.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I did a halloween themed 1st b-day for DD. I posted the cupcakes I did in the cupcake thread. Luckily the first couple can be low key. Now I have an almost 3 year old who tells me the theme (princess of course), who to invite, and where she wants it. Enjoy the simplicity now.

 

[taovandel]

Viz glad you posted this, baby birthday twin...I actually started trying to think of planning the other day also.

I managed to get a guest list and it was sooo long! I feel bad cutting people away from the list, but if I don't then I will have to rent a space as big as my wedding! I have it down to 26 people...but I still feel like that is waaaay too much.

I thought that having a built in theme would be easy also, but I'm not sure how over the top I can go with a little baby....

Will be checking this thread for ideas.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

For my son's first birthday we had my close family over for dinner (8 people) and we ate cake. He got 3 presents. That was it! It was great fun.

Theo nly special part was that I made him a cake shaped like a gingerbread man, from scratch. It was really cool.

 

[Jennifer W]

Champagne and cake is my default for any party or gathering. I've never found an event it wan't suited to!

It's a truly lazy option, requiring only very minimal effort on my part (good) yet it looks and sounds classy (great). I like that combination. Also, if you tell people that's what you're doing, many of them will bring a bottle of champagne. I like to have some really decent bottles chilled, plus a few more sparkling wine in the fridge just in case. I figure that most people will drink one glass, two at the most in an hour- hour and a half during the afternoon. I always agonise in advance about whether I should do more, but people have never complained about eating just cake, so I think it works fine. A BBQ would be fun, but not if you're the one who will get stuck with organising the food, cooking it, serving it and clearing up. Even outdoors, that stuff is no fun. It's your day too, you're the one who went through L&D. I like my parties to be at least as much fun for me as for the guests....

Halloween goody bag for the kids is a great idea and easy to put together. I keep banging on about making things easy and non-effortful and that is my biggest tip. It's a bit like all big days - if you're the one putting it together, you won't relax and enjoy it or even remember much of it if it goes by in a blur of organising, hosting and clearing up. DH and I wanted to spend most of the day just us and Amelia, so we could savour every minute - we all made it to her first birthday! We only really shared the day for a couple of hours, and we insisted that was the only time we'd have visitors (we told people who wanted to drop in at other times that we were going out for the day so as not to ruffle feathers). The balance felt right, a nice mix of time for us and celebratory time with friends and family.

The timing you suggested sounds good to me - the invitees will be people you're close to, right? They'll be excited to see your DS turn one. In that context, I don't think they'll care about a Saturday night. Even if they do have plans, they can come at the start of the time and leave when it suits, since it's relaxed and informal.

ETA not sure where I got that you were thinking of a BBQ. I'm tired!

 

[Sabine]

Viz, here's a recipe for an egg and dairy free cake I was consider, it looks to be soy free as well but you'll have to check if there's any hidden in stuff...http://allrecipes.com/recipe/egg-free-d ... etail.aspx

We ONLY had family, and it worked out well because they were all more than happy to dote on just Jacks for the day (although bil and sil I think were a bit bored at other points of their trip, but that was due to grandparents ONLY wanted to spend time with Jacks since they never see him. We went to the beach early on in the day, came back for his nap, then opened presents, had cake, and had dinner. That schedule worked out, and ds was happy since he had his nap at normally scheduled time. I think as long as you don't do something totally overwhelming and keep it within his normal schedule, it will be fun. And never underestimate the power of upbeat music...babies dancing are quite entertaining!

 

[vizsla]

thanks thanks thanks!
sabine - thanks for the link! i need to start baking some c friendly breads etc. anyway.. that is a great resource.

to be honest, i was more than dreading this 'milestone' party. i'm just not into the whole hoopla that surrounds most events. (i.e. didn't tell anyone i was engaged for days - went away to the beach to get hitched, simply to avoid the whole everything that surrounds a wedding - didn't tell anyone i was pg for months - didn't tell anyone i was going to the hospital - didn't tell anyone i actually had a baby for hours.... you see the theme here? personally, i'm not into pomp and circumstance.. but i know i have to be - i don't want c to miss out on the celebration just because i'd rather skip the whole thing DH calls me a curmudgeon...

so.. i think an open house is the way to go. my side of the family will most likely be staying with me that weekend, and the rest of the peeps can just come by whenever. DH suggested getting the Jones Soda halloween flavors for the kids and then mixing them with vodka for adults... may have to do a trial run this weekend and i did scope out etsy for some cute cupcake liners/toppers...

i guess i'll have to start compiling a guest list and decide if we want to do pizza and cake or catered BBQ and cake.
i would just do a plethora of poupous but those always take more work than i think they should.

anything glaring that i should plan for/avoid/include?? aside from maid service on sunday?

 

[fieryred33143]

HI VIZ

Stop talking about Charlie's birthday!!!!! I can't believe he and Evan are going to be 1 next month. Where does the time go?!?!?!

I see that China hasn't commented yet but I'm sure she will later. I thought her b-day party for O was brilliant. She also did it in an open house fashion and I know she has some great tips to share!

If you want easy peasy, keep the guest list small and the menu simple. We did this HUGE bbq and were cooking for hours (well R was cooking for hours ). We also had a lot of guests. We won't be doing that again any time soon. Next time it'll either be a lot of guests with catering or a small list with a simple menu.

My only other tip is to make sure you eat before the guests arrive and TAKE PICTURES!!! I ate after all of the guests were gone because I was too busy playing hostess to sit down and relax. And I took zero pictures. No time. R was cooking so he couldn't either. It didn't occur to me until we were cutting the cake to ask my brother to take some pics with his phone.

 

[Sha]

Fun! Nice date, too. You can have a costume party if you fancy it.

Will you have many kids there? Different ages? Obviously a group of one year olds won't play together, but older kids might be more self-reliant.

We had a very easy, low key party for A's first birthday - we just told people that we were having cake and champagne between 4pm and bedtime on the day. That way, I could make a great big cake and just chill some bottles, lay out some plates, forks and glasses and the rest just sort of happened. No one expected catering, because I didn't call it a party.

Amelia had a fantastic time because the people who called in all brought her a gift to open, and the adults had a fantastic time because there was cake and champagne... Easy. Plus, not much clean-up.

The best thing was that everyone didn't arrive at the same time, so it never got overwhelming or even frightening for her.

I'm stealing that 'cake and champagne' idea !- THANKS

 

[qtiekiki]

1st birthday party is definitely for the adults. We had a BIG 1st bday party for M, like 80 people. Actually it's the typical size party for us since almost 60 are family (our aunts, uncles, first cousins and their kids). We had a BBQ with a bounce house at our house. It started at 4pm and ended at 11pm or so when the last people left. Obviously, M was asleep by then. Lots of clean up afterward. I didn't want to have the party because M wouldn't remember, but the inlaws insisted and paid for most of it. With that said, the party was still casual; people came and went at different times, ate and mingled. It wouldn't be so much work if our guest list was smaller, but DH has a big family.

ETA: Ditto fiery about eating beforehand and having a designated photographer if you can't do it. We usually have one of our cousin BBQ, so DH and I can take turn hosting and taking pictures.

 

[partgypsy]

We just went to a 4 year old party, cake only. There were no organized activity just the kids running around in the backyard while the adults sat down and had a beer. The cake was served, the gifts were open, and that's it. But everyone had a nice relaxed time and the kids had fun.

In contrast we had our 4 year old birthday the following day. I decorated the interior of the house,made homemade cake, my husband made a homemade dinner with appetizers, regular salad and cut fruit, plus we had activities and a pinata. To tell you the truth it was too much, especially for the birthday girl who was too excited to take a nap that day and melted down by the end of the party, and my husband was stuck in the kitchen most of the party making food.

Kids that age need very little to have a good time, so do something that is fun and relaxing for you.

 

[ChinaCat]

Viz- The bigger question is WHAT is Lil C going to be for Halloween?????

Ok so I just did this and I definitely have some things that worked and things that I won't do again.

Things That Worked:
Time- We did 4-6 pm. Perfect post-nap, pre-bedtime.
Food- Simple. We had guacamole/chips, hummus & veggies, chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A (a HIT), fruit salad, and cupcakes. Just light snacking basically.
Drinks- Beer and/or wine for grown-ups. We got the Izze fruit drinks (bright colors, based on juice), small water bottles with sports tops for the kids. Oh, and small bottles of Mexican Coke & Dr. Pepper. We put everything on ice in galvinized tins, plus bought bright colored straws.
Bounce House- This was a last minute thing and honestly I was anti, but it was great. A friend owns one and let us borrow it. The bigger kids spent the entire time in our backyard.
Hula hoops, jump rope, sidewalk chalk and big bubble wand things. I put these in our backyard in a basket and then let everyone keep whatever they wanted as a favor.
Decor- Kept it simple. A Happy Birthday banner with monkeys, lions, etc. on it. Big yellow and orange sunflowers in galvinized tin vases. Used dutch blue, yellow and orange in the napkins, straws, plates, etc for some color. That's it.
Favors- Let them keep the toys above and take home a cupcake.
Presents- We opened them before with just my parents. Too much for O to do at the party, too many people.

Things That Didn't Work:
Open House. I was big on this because I really wanted low-key and I thought if people came and went, it would be manageable. Well, everyone came right at 4 pm and on one left until 6 pm. The thing I didn't think about is that this is the witching hour for kids, hard to find things to do to keep them occupied till bedtime so everyone was thrilled to have something to do for 2 hours. Plus once the kids got there and started having fun, the parents weren't about to make them leave. It's a great idea, just be aware that it could not work.
Too many people- I kept the guest list small, but I still wish I'd cut it in half. The perfect amount would have been our 6 couple friends and their kids (all ages 3 and under) plus my parents. I invited our neighbors which just made it too many and they have kids 4-7. Nightmare. Jumping on our couches, running around with chocolate hands and greasy chicken finger hands touching my very non-friendly cream and gray furniture. I had to go outside so as not to watch. My fault, but I didn't think about it. The kids 3 and under all played well with each other and were easy to corrall. Bigger kids- bad idea. Also, it was just too many people for O to really enjoy anything. He stayed in my arms the whole time. Once most people left, he had a ball in the bounce house and playing with his toys with the one or two kids that were remaining.

So if I was to do it again: same food, same decor, etc. but with half the amount of people. I really really like the cake and champagne idea! And I would figure out a way to ensure that the open house concept worked. I think if you have it on a Saturday it may be better because most people have stuff to do on Saturdays and Sat nights. We did a Sunday.

As for O, he got a few presents on Sunday morning. Then we waited and did the rest on his real birthday (Wed) and did cake on his real birthday.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

Oh and you HAVE to go find the pics of the cupcakes Tacori did for T's first birthday. AMAZING. I think she posted them again for me when I was asking about first birthdays. Check the toddler thread around end of July/early August.

 

[doodle]

Firstly, I have to make my usual recommendation for hostessblog.com--they have tons of really cute party ideas on there, and they're also great with holiday ideas. I'd LOOOOVE to throw a cute kids' Halloween birthday party--how fun! For the love of Christian Louboutin, give the kid an individual cake. I can't tell you how many kids parties I've been to where the cake looked yummy and I was dying for a piece until the kid either spit all over it attempting to blow out a candle or the kid promptly stuck an arm in it up to the elbow to grab a handful of yumminess. Trust me, your adult guests will appreciate a slice of cake that doesn't have baby slob all over it! I'd set aside an area of the house for quiet space in case the baby gets overwhelmed. If you have a back room of your house or something that's removed from the noise of the other guests, you may need it if your little one has a meltdown and needs a minute or a nap or something. The most brilliant discovery I ever made in my whole life regarding hosting parties with children--drinks with lids for both the kids and the adults. Reduces spills, and if you're serving adult beverages with the very young in attendance, too, it lessens the likelihood of a stealthy toddler swiping something caffeinated or alcoholic. You've gotten a lot of great advice from the moms on here, so now just have fun with it!

 

[Jennifer W]

Wise words, Doodle! DH's first hangover occurred on the day after his second birthday. Toddlers do swipe unattended drinks, especially if they are attractive colours. On the plus side, he's never wanted to drink gin and tonic since...

Jen

 

[anchor31]

Wise words, Doodle! DH's first hangover occurred on the day after his second birthday. Toddlers do swipe unattended drinks, especially if they are attractive colours. On the plus side, he's never wanted to drink gin and tonic since...

Jen

Hilarious!

Thanks for starting this thread, Viz. I can't believe C will be 1... J's b-day will be later (Dec. 29), but I will bookmark this for future reference. I personally like pot-luck style parties. Everyone brings something to eat, so you don't have to cook everything yourself.

ETA: if you don't want chaos, I would recommend not inviting kids! The first time (and last so far) we had kids over at our house, I was horrified. The mom (BIL's gf) just sat there like we should be the ones parenting them because it's our house.

 

[Pandora II]

For Daisy's first we invited our siblings (most of whom we knew couldn't come) and our three sets of friends with 2009 babies. We didn't invite grandparents or other relatives as we wanted it to be really low-key and basically just a slightly fancier version of meeting up with our 'baby' friends.

I did the invite via Facebook and we arranged to meet at London Zoo as it was easy for everyone to get to, most of us have membership, fun for everyone and plenty of things to do.

I made a lemon cake - which turned out HUGE because I bought tins that were too big and so the layers were on the thin side so I made 4 layers rather than 2 - with marzipan ducks on, so she will never say that I 'didn't care' when she's 15 and hates me.

I put together a picnic with roast beef & salad rolls, roast chicken pieces and a big pasta salad (all of which was minimal effort), got SIL to bring some drinks, and bought some paper plates & cups with ducks on from ebay. All the kids got baby rubber ducks to take home.

 

[vizsla]

ohhh wow.. thanks for all of the advice. i'm really trying to decide how many kids we might actually have. like you china, i just can't deal with too many little ones running a muck in my house. (and OMG am i LOVING the chick-fli-a nugget idea!!)

we don't have the biggest house, and will probably have to be inside the ONLY thing i didn't think about was the actual date.... and trick-o-treating. all of the towns around me have TOT on different days, so trying to coordinate around that has been more stressful than i originally thought. it would be great if my town's TOT was on saturday..... adults could take a to-go cup while the kiddos TOT (houses in our neighborhood are really close together, makes for easy candy-getting) - and TOT has become this block party of sorts, really fun. but ours is on sunday and most of my friend's have their TOT night on saturday. i guess this just makes for a smaller party, but i'm wondering if i should move it to sunday instead?

that aside, i think i am going to keep it pretty small: grandparents, siblings, and maybe 2 or 3 couples. i don't think i will invite any of our single friends (who aren't super close to c). that probably means only around 15 people and 4 kids.

i'm still liking the jones soda idea and a drink-o-the day for adults - pizza, nuggets, and a salad - plus cupcakes and halloween candy. kids could wear their halloween costume.. we will probably dress up too, i guess.
DH really wants the three of us to be peanuts characters.. charlie will be charlie brown (what DH calls c all of the time) and we will be linus and lucy. i think it would be so funny to draw a squiggle on charlie's forehead

thoughts?

should i plan an activity outside for the kids?? bobbing for apples? limbo? haunted house (eerrr garage?)...ahahahahaha i like the bucket of goodies like china suggested.. i'm just worried it might be too cold or rainy by that time... hmmmmmm.....

 

[TravelingGal]

I agree that the 1st is for the adults. It's actually mostly for the PARENTS for the reason you mentioned Viz!

We just did a dinner with family at boring chain restaurant and came back and opened presents (the wrapping paper was a hit). I only have this suggestion:

Make sure it's early enough in the day to leave time for you and your DH alone once you put the kid down (meaning the guests have gone home). Then, in the peace and quiet of your home, open a special bottle of bubbly and toast to yourselves for a job (first year) well done. TGuy and I did this and it was nicest part of her first birthday.

 

[ChinaCat]

Viz- LOVE the costumes idea! I think you probably don't have to do an activity for the kids if there are only about 4 of them. Just put Charlie's toys out. And I wouldn't worry about favors. It's Halloween, they'll be getting tons of candy and stuff elsewhere.

and I LOVE Tgal's idea. Wish we'd done that!!! I definitely think you and your DH deserve a toast to making it through this year.

 

[E B]

viz,

There's a box of cake mix you can find at Whole Foods called Cherrybrook Kitchen, and it's dairy, egg, nut, and pretty much everything else -free. I've had it before and it's pretty good! It doesn't say 'soy free' on the front of the box, but the ingredients just say 'contains wheat.' Might be worth a try. Here's the ingredient list for the yellow cake:

http://www.cherrybrookkitchen.com/products/yellowcake.php

Also, we just gave Henry a slice of cake vs. making him his own. He was able to dig in without ruining the cake for everyone, but I figured since he wouldn't be eating close to an entire cake (even mini) himself, we'd just cut him a piece.

ETA: This was the frosting we used, and I believe it's soy free too:

http://www.cherrybrookkitchen.com/products/frosting_vanillaspread.php

 

[vizsla]

OHHH thanks EB!!! i'm going to look for this on my next shopping trip!!

 

[E B]

OHHH thanks EB!!! i'm going to look for this on my next shopping trip!!

You're welcome! It won't taste exactly like cake made with eggs and milk, but it won't be as bad as a bulgur wheat cake (which, to be honest, I don't think I've ever had- but it sounds gross! ). They have it at some 'regular' grocery stores too, but to be safe I'd check Whole Foods first.

Re: Costumes- Henry's going as Charlie Brown too! I already ordered a couple of mustard t-shirts and I'm going to paint the zig-zag on myself.

 

[natalina]

I made a lemon cake - which turned out HUGE because I bought tins that were too big and so the layers were on the thin side so I made 4 layers rather than 2 - with marzipan ducks on, so she will never say that I 'didn't care' when she's 15 and hates me.

<-OK this was too funny!

Loving this thread, as Ellie's 1st is in just a few weekends! Eek! All I have figured out so far is family + one couple with a newborn and 3 year old, I'm making a giant cupcake cake (great minds think alike, Mara ) and some regualr cupcakes, and...not sure what else. Gonna keep reading for ideas...

ETA: Oh! You HAVE to do the LInus, Lucy, and Charlie Brown idea!!! SOOOOO cute!!!!

I also really love TGal's idea about toasting each other after baby's in bed and everyone is gone. REALLY love it. Sounds like something you would always remember.