How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, please

[Lady_Disdain]

My very long term boyfriend convinced me to marry (no, he wasn't the problem, I just didn't see the point of it). I just now realized one thing: wedding rings! Yes, I am a little slow. Of course, I am going to make mine (he has chosen not to wear one).

Now, engagement rings are unheard of here and most wedding rings are plain gold bands (with maybe a flush set diamond for the lady). Of course, that will not do! I want a cool special ring. However, it should fit into my life, it should be nice enough for a fancy opera night, I shouldn't tire of the design after a year (I am so guilty of this!) and it should use stones I already have (tight budget - it is hard to justify an expensive ring that is not the custom when there is also an interstate move involved, educational costs, etc).

Once I consider all of that, it seems that there just isn't a design that will work. If I choose a coloured stone, I am afraid that it won't always look good with my outfits (despite my limited wardrobe colours of grey, wine, blue and green) or that I will tire of it. I love delicate designs but they tend to look disproportionate on my large fingers (I wish I had my sister's slim fingers so I could wear a set very similar to the one I made for her but with a diamond band instead of the rope). I am really afraid that I won't be able to stand the ring after a year, when I really don't want to upgrade/change it.

So, how did you ladies choose a wedding/engagement ring?

Ok, I am kind of freaking out (and, yes, it isn't only about the ring). Throw me some reassurances and share your thoughts, please.

 

[chrono]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Lady D,
I am sorry to be unable to offer any advice. I have chosen not to have a wedding band and don't have an official e-ring either.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

No problem, Chrono. I am one step from deciding the same except that I am rather sentimental about dates and jewelry.

The funny thing is that I have walked a lot of clients through this same scenario but I can't seem to do the same for myself. My rational side is rather mystified by all this.

 

[iluvshinythings]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations on your engagement!

I chose my wedding ring first and then worked on the e-ring. My strategy was to start with a simple platinum band of about 2mm because I knew I could comfortably wear it all the time and stack other rings with it. I'm fairly fickle about jewelry so I have a bit of an e-ring variety and don't really see any of them as a "forever" thing.

I can commit to one man but there's no way I can commit to a single piece of jewelry the rest of my life.

 

[minousbijoux]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

I'll have to think about this for you LadyD, but just wanted to say congratulations! I'm sure I share this sentiment with others here when I say that I would love to help you design a ring, after all that you have contributed to this forum.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

I can commit to one man but there's no way I can commit to a single piece of jewelry the rest of my life.

You and me both! I told him "Choosing you was easy, choosing a ring is hard." He just laughed - he doesn't get it, knows he doesn't get but bears with me.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

I'll have to think about this for you LadyD, but just wanted to say congratulations! I'm sure I share this sentiment with others here when I say that I would love to help you design a ring, after all that you have contributed to this forum.

Thank you, Minous!

 

[RTFrog]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations on the upcoming Nuptials Lady_Disdain!

Now the hardest part - finding a perfect ring... Even though I'm not a lady, if I could help in any way please let me know. I dug through many threads, looked through all the designers, enjoyed the custom creations, and incorporated sentimental objects/dates/and stones into my little hunt.

Is there a particular stone/stones in your collection that you would like to use? Have you ever considered having more than one - especially with your wardrobe so you won't get tired of it? I understand the budgeting and outside expenses completely and am currently in the process of a move too - but there's many ways to make the most of what you have or what you want.

What helped me with some design work was having a helpful local metalsmith - as well as working with Cad's with DanielM, etc. If you go the colored stone route, that may help with the budgeting for now - and always replace the stone with a Diamond later. If not, there are many very beautiful diamonds at several vendors from many here - and I had a very good experience with GoG as well as many other wonderful people recommended from this site. Their help and advice was truly appreciated and wonderful.

So, I would start with the stone/stones, and go from there. Yellow, Rose, White, engraving, pave, solitaire, 3-stone, vintage, modern, etc... and work through it step by step. Don't be overwhelmed, I'm sure you two will design and create something that is absolutely perfect. Working through each step and creation helps, especially when an idea or two pop into your mind's eye. Best of luck on the journey!

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Lady D, what happy news! May much deserved happiness come your way!

I too ended up doing mine so it could be worn alone or stacked -- my wedding ring, that is. I didn't have an e-ring; when we got married we couldn't afford what I wanted & I'd rather have nothing than a ring I'd want to upgrade every time I looked at it. My wedding ring was a half-eternity that had been my mother's for her 1st marriage; her husband was killed in WWII. That worked out well -- it was pretty by itself and eventually I stacked it with others: another half-eternity of baguettes & rounds, an emerald & diamond one, etc.

The key to not becoming tired of it, I think, is simplicity. As you know from your business, what looks great at one time can be dated 10 yrs later & drive the wearer crazy. So I'd advise making it graceful, classic enough not to go out of style, and simple enough that you can add more rings over time. What about a 3-stone? It could go with more than one color of outfit & if not too big, could be stacked with other rings later.

Try going through SMTB and the top 2 threads on this form -- Vendor/Buyer photos & CS E-rings -- for ideas. Something may jump out at you that leads you on. Keep thinking out loud here -- I'm sure you'll get a ton of talented input.

--- Laurie

P.S. (For our 35th anniversary last year I decided I wanted an engagement ring & had the one in my avatar made. So, if you don't find what you want now, it's never too late! )

 

[dk168]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

I knew I prefer ECs to RBs when ex-hubby popped the question. Then off I went to a local jewellery store to look for a ring that I liked, and opted for a 3-stone EC diamonds about 0.75cttw, and had it altered to have a 18k WG shank instead of a yellow gold one.

I loved the ring, and offered to give it back to him when we parted company, and he said it was mine to do as I please.

I was going to have it reset as a bale that can take different pearl drop/CS to be worn as a pendant, however, I needed the money for my relocation, and sold it along with other jewellery to raise fund.

I wore it constantly with a plain platinum band when I was with him.

I have a thing for 3-stone rings, and had a 3-stone heart ruby and diamond ring made to replace my original engagement ring, and it was a gift from my late partner. This is my everyday ring on my ring finger.

DK

 

[koolchicken]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

I was wondering. You say engagement rings aren't common where you live, and you're not sure you even want one. Have you considered another piece of jewelry instead or a ring? A special pendant could be just as nice. Is there a particular piece of jewelry you've always wanted? Maybe that could be the right choice for you.

I think it's worth mentioning I've known quite a few people who don't have separate wedding and engagement rings. They got a blingy ring for the engagement (some were actual engagement rings, others were just pave bands) and used it as a wedding band during the ceremony. Perhaps you could do the same if you really only want a ring. If you go in that direction I would pick a simply pave band so you could wear other rings with it in the future. I like the notion of going with a diamond band for the wedding and if you have kids adding a colored band for each of them. A pretty and sentimental look that won't break the bank.

I think the most important thing if you choose any colored stone would be to pick your favorite color. Don't pick something just because it's likely to match the clothes you wear now. Or go with a diamond because it's plain. I love blue, and considered a blue diamond for my e-ring. I didn't pick one because I thought it wouldn't match everything. I now see it wouldn't have mattered to me. It's a special ring, and I never tire of looking at that color.

 

[Starzin]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations Lady D!

As others have said, we would be delighted to help (and further confuse )

My very long term boyfriend convinced me to marry (no, he wasn't the problem, I just didn't see the point of it). I just now realized one thing: wedding rings! Yes, I am a little slow. Of course, I am going to make mine (he has chosen not to wear one).

Now, engagement rings are unheard of here and most wedding rings are plain gold bands (with maybe a flush set diamond for the lady). Of course, that will not do! I want a cool special ring. However, it should fit into my life, it should be nice enough for a fancy opera night, I shouldn't tire of the design after a year (I am so guilty of this!) and it should use stones I already have (tight budget - it is hard to justify an expensive ring that is not the custom when there is also an interstate move involved, educational costs, etc).

So wherever you are is going to change right? Therefore what is the norm where you are is irrelevant, take that out of the equation and creating a ring that meets your other requirements is the goal.

So what we need to know now is... what does your stash look like? Pics please. Include everything and we can discard as necessary. My first inclination is to go for one ring which can also be used in the marriage ceremony, if you later decide that you would like a wedder you will probably also know what you want at that stage.

 

[arkieb1]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

How about an Antique diamond in an Antique setting, an Antique diamond in between two colour stones or a coloured halo. Or a sleek modern ring with a Octavia. I don't think I would get bored looking at any of those options and I get bored very easily when it comes to bling.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

How about an Antique diamond in an Antique setting, an Antique diamond in between two colour stones or a coloured halo. Or a sleek modern ring with a Octavia. I don't think I would get bored looking at any of those options and I get bored very easily when it comes to bling.

They would be lovely but completely out of budget!

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations Lady D!

So what we need to know now is... what does your stash look like? Pics please. Include everything and we can discard as necessary. My first inclination is to go for one ring which can also be used in the marriage ceremony, if you later decide that you would like a wedder you will probably also know what you want at that stage.

Everything? Are you sure? Ok, my stash is rather large!

I do think I would like an engagement ring/engagement type ring. I rarely wear anything other than small studs and I want to be able to look at it, which isn't practical with a pendant.

So, let's do this by the book and start with a design brief:

Wedding Ring
- To be worn nearly daily, removing for heavier work (bench work, house work, etc)
- Classic (to be worn my whole life without looking too dated) but with an interesting twist
- Enough presence to look good on my size 6 fingers but still delicate, so somewhere around 2.5mm
- Does not need to stack with engagement ring
- Metal choices (to choose one, not multi metal)
- Rose gold - I like the shade but it may date a little faster
- Apricot gold (a warmer gold between yellow and rose gold): unusual, lively shade, unique but harder to match
- 22k gold: a heavier ring will be required and greater care

- Accent stones: possibly some small pave work but not required. Alternative: 0.6ct Gene ruby

Engagement Ring
- Option 1: no engagement ring

- Option 2: Semi-daily wear (not 24 hours/day but when going out of the house)
- In this case, it should stack with wedding ring
- Easy to wear and should go with everything
- Not too large
- White or pale stone for easier matching (I have a 0.5ct modern round brilliant, a 4mm OEC or a 1ct asscher danburite that would fit, I have to check what else. I would be inclined to choose the modern round brilliant or the asscher)

- Option 3: Special occasion ring
- Can be larger and more ornate
- Doesn't have to stack/look good with wedding ring (to be worn alone)
- Stone choices:
- Oval pink tourmaline (nicely saturated, elongated oval)
- Uli rubellite in his Tudor Kaleidoscope cut: looks like a nice, large ruby
- Small Russian demantoid (I am not sure I would get as much use because of the saturated green)
- Any of the stones from option 2
- Check through stash for other options

 

[Laila619]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congrats, Lady Disdain!!

Have you considered a blingy diamond or gemstone band instead of a 'traditional' e-ring?

 

[Starzin]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Oh well done!!!

So do you know whether you want the wedder first or the engagement/special ring (or both) and have you set a date? i.e. How much time have we got to dither over this

Could we please have a pic of the Gene ruby. And one of your left hand (ringless).

I've just seen Laila's post and that was my first thought too. I have some saved but it will take some time to sort out. I've checked your website (some VERY nice pieces!) and it would seem you gravitate to very a streamlined style.

So here's a first suggestion for wedding ring. This is a Hans Meevis design I saved a couple of years ago. It's too wide for your specs and the edge is random not sleek. Sooo... you could halve the width and put melee - graduated or not, bezeled or not - in a more streamlined edge. The straight edge allows for another ring to sit up snug if wanted.

 

[pregcurious]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations!!!

Do you have a dream ring, or a style of ring that really resonates with you?

If not, I would pick a plain metal band as a wedding band, and add stackers to create variety. This fits into needing a classic wedding band you will not get sick of, and not wanting to have 1 ering, or 1 companion ring to your wedding band.

 

[Starzin]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Laila and I were on the same wave length so I'll post a couple of photos of multi-coloured gem rings for you to ponder. If I remember rightly, both TL and LD have FCD rings made along these lines.

I'll also include two more traditional looking e-rings "with a twist". You can obviously add, delete or recolour pave as desired e.g. replace sapphire with ruby and spinel melee to match?? The hexagonal ring doesn't have to have pave shank or indeed, halo. They could be brushed gold instead.

celtgrrl's ring - I don't know if she had a separate wedder but this to me is a perfect example of a "double duty" engagement/wedding ring. Although you might choose to have a very thin plain matching band if you don't want to wear this at the bench. I for one think this fits "very cool". Again you can choose to replace some of the stones with coloured ones.

Now that you've had the weekend to gaze at the (formidable) stash Which ones are you most drawn to using?

 

[davi_el_mejor]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Why not do three different simple (stackable) bands. If you feel one won't work with your outfit, go ahead and wear the one that does. If you tire of one, put it away for a few months, you'll remember how much you love it when you stumble upon it one day cleaning out the drawers.

You could scatter the melee sized stones in the band. Each band would contain the number of stones as your anniversary. IE if your anniversary was 6/12/03, one band would have 6 the next 12 and the last 3. Everyone would gush when you told them why you were wearing three seemingly disjointed bands

 

[jstarfireb]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Looking at your post and your website, I would choose your classic split-shank ring and maybe set your Gene ruby in it (would have to see the stone again - I can't remember what shape/cut it is). Probably with apricot gold. And just go with that one ring as your engagement/wedding/everyday ring. It meets a lot of your criteria (classic, won't look dated/out of style, has presence on the hand, looks fine on its own without another ring). You could make it more unique with some engraving, if that's something you do. If the ruby doesn't work, I'd go with one of your diamonds (probably the 0.5ct modern round) because of the hardness and durability.

http://www.beatrizfortes.com/product/classic-split-shank-ring?tid=28

 

[Rebecca0388]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Hi congratulations, I just thought i would add from my experience wearing an amethyst engagement ring. I never felt that it didn't match my outfit no matter what colour I was wearing. The only thing I felt it didn't match was my nail polish. I found my self only wearing neutral colours or very pale pinks I felt everything else looked too much so close to my ring.

I LOVE the sound of apricot gold as well as having the wedding band you can wear every day then more ornate engagement ring one to wear separately

 

[movie zombie]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

congrats! great news!
however, committing to an e-ring setting design?! wow, that was difficult. the minute I saw the spess I knew it was "the" stone.........but it took about another 6 months to settle on a design. I wanted something "unique" and that might have been found at an archeology dig....... that is where I started.
good luck! and just quickly browsing through this thread I see some unique options! go for it!

 

[FrekeChild]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited for you Lady D! Far too tired to think of designs (been traveling), but absolutely DELIGHTED to hear of this news!!!

 

[arkieb1]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

How about an Antique diamond in an Antique setting, an Antique diamond in between two colour stones or a coloured halo. Or a sleek modern ring with a Octavia. I don't think I would get bored looking at any of those options and I get bored very easily when it comes to bling.

They would be lovely but completely out of budget!

We need to get Niel involved she is the guru for Ebay finds I swear!!! That might not be out of budget if you already have a .50RB and we all search ebay and the preloved section for a setting a 3 stone with two colour stones on either side of the RB or some form of coloured halo or halo for your RB might be another option..... Sometimes its about seeing what you can find that works with what you have while staying in budget

 

[Indylady]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Congratulations Lady D!!

My thoughts: I would do my best to stop thinking of this ring as "THE ONE AND ONLY FOREVER" and rather think of it as, "the ring that commemorates my engagement now." A friend once talked about her tattoos that way: it gave her peace to think that that tattoo signified that moment in time for her and the influences in her life then--trying to find a tattoo that would represent her at the moment and any given time in the future was just too much stress. She happily accepts that each tattoo is of that moment and time, and does not expect it to be a life-long encapsulation of herself, even though it is permanent on her skin similar to the way that you do not want to upgrade. I do hope I was able to articulate myself.

I second JStar's suggestion of a classic split shank with your Gene ruby. It sounds perfect.

 

[chrono]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

How crazy are you about Gene's 0.6 ct ruby? What is the shape and mm size? What do you think of an antique inspired ruby + diamond bypass ring?

 

[RTFrog]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Hi Lady_Disdain,

Just trying to put some ideas or inspiration out there given your specs. Apricot gold sounds like a very interesting metal – and would be beautiful. Maybe this could be the special ring? That way you would not have to worry about getting a matching band, and it would really be a special occasion ring.

Wedding Ring:


Danhov Braided: 2.6mm width – with a classic twist. Would be beautiful in your choice of metals.

Simon G – Unique style, cannot tell how wide it is, but there are several of different widths.
http://www.simongjewelry.com/product/Melody_Collection_Style_MR1732/15593/EN




Engagement ring options:



Tapers from 2.6-2mm – keeping it in the size range, plus it is set lower around 2mm so should be fine to work with. This would work nicely with either your .5 oec or the 1ct Danubrite Asscher.
http://www.danhov.com/engagement/danhov-voltaggio-single-shank-three-prong-engagement-ring-v108.html


This one is classic with an interesting twist.



There are quite a few designs that should fit your personality and what you are looking for, and perhaps Dimend Scassi? They have a beautiful Asscher compass set – something a bit different yet classic:
http://www.dimendscaasi.com/build/step1.asp?prodID=1-2C

Special Occasion ring:
TL and Chrono both contributed their thoughts to double set of prongs for a similar Uli stone:

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...-big-trinity-hexagon-from-uli-or-ulli.194755/


Maybe this would work?

Or for the oval tourmaline, maybe something simple with pave ?

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

Hi guys! I am sorry I haven't come sooner. Unfortunately, my mother was taken to intensive care at the hospital, which has left me with very little time to consider wedding rings. She should go to a private room this afternoon (just in time for a mini Christmas celebration) and she looks to be improving. Since she has to stay hooked up to all the equipment, we are going to spend an afternoon sketching rings. Well, I sketch, she opines. I will share the results and see what you guys think.

I am rather in a hurry, so I am want to apologize for not answering individually but I want to thank you all for the ideas, inspirations and support. It is really helpful and I am considering everything.

 

[SouthernSunset]

Re: How to choose an ering design - hand holding needed, ple

So sorry to hear about your mother. I spent Christmas in the ICU with my father a few years ago so I know how that can be. Glad that they're moving her out though, very positive. Best wishes to you and your family during this time.

And of course good luck on the ring! I'm a newbie so I can't offer much in the way of style or ideas but I can promise I will lurk and follow through the design process and gush once the ring is made. :]