Wedding Planning - not my forte

[FutureMrsMRS]

So, I''m making headway on possible venues and caterers. And I even found a place that I really like that allows your own food & alcohol (which we''d prob just do beer and wine and not have to pay for security). I''ve come up with a reasonable budget for ceremony, venue, reception, dress, invites (I think - I''m going DIY), and favors (again DIY).

I''m building a website because I like that idea, and though I know 1/2 of this "must have" stuff is just the industry talking.

Questions:
a) We''re not having a bridal party, do we really need a rehearsal dinner?? Since the only involvement will be Dad walking me down the aisle, should we do this "rehearsal" and then maybe me, FI, my kids, and my parents go out for dinner??

b) Again, since we''re not having a bridal party, does the whole bridal shower thing go out the window? Unless a friend designates herself to plan it??

c) We''re getting married out of state, in October. We will be down in NC in June. Is that too late to lock in a caterer? I would DEFINITELY want to sample the food before hand, but I of course don''t want to deal with someone not being available on my date because we cut it close. The venue I like best is 2 hours from my parents so I''m looking at caterers in the Greensboro area. I don''t want to ask my mom to drive that far to taste food

(and yes, I implicitly trust her judgment in doing the tasting! If we can''t find an affordable caterer, she''s going to do the cooking).

I feel so overwhelmed! And my closest friends are 6 hours away. They''re doing what they can to help but man!

Thanks all!

 

[EmDressage]

Date: 4/10/2010 11:04:20 AM
Author:FutureMrsMRS
So, I''m making headway on possible venues and caterers. And I even found a place that I really like that allows your own food & alcohol (which we''d prob just do beer and wine and not have to pay for security). I''ve come up with a reasonable budget for ceremony, venue, reception, dress, invites (I think - I''m going DIY), and favors (again DIY).

I''m building a website because I like that idea, and though I know 1/2 of this ''must have'' stuff is just the industry talking.

Questions:
a) We''re not having a bridal party, do we really need a rehearsal dinner?? Since the only involvement will be Dad walking me down the aisle, should we do this ''rehearsal'' and then maybe me, FI, my kids, and my parents go out for dinner??

b) Again, since we''re not having a bridal party, does the whole bridal shower thing go out the window? Unless a friend designates herself to plan it??

c) We''re getting married out of state, in October. We will be down in NC in June. Is that too late to lock in a caterer? I would DEFINITELY want to sample the food before hand, but I of course don''t want to deal with someone not being available on my date because we cut it close. The venue I like best is 2 hours from my parents so I''m looking at caterers in the Greensboro area. I don''t want to ask my mom to drive that far to taste food

(and yes, I implicitly trust her judgment in doing the tasting! If we can''t find an affordable caterer, she''s going to do the cooking).

I feel so overwhelmed! And my closest friends are 6 hours away. They''re doing what they can to help but man!

Thanks all!

Hey! Congrats!
As far as questions go:
a). I know of people and parties that do this for the RD, just going out to eat at a cool restaurant afterwards as the ''RD''.
b). I have always heard that the bridal shower is something that the women that are attending the wedding will plan/go to for the bride, with a good friend planning it, inviting, etc. Moreso for the actual bride''s party(ie:bridesmaids), they do a bachelorette party.
c). I think that is too short of a time to choose a caterer, unless you have a few in mind and discuss the timeline with them. If not, I would highly suggest taking a weekend off with with FI (if possible to do!!) and taking a trip down there to work on wedding stuff while you are in the area, having a list of caterers that you have already spoken with and can do a tasting for you that weekend, where you can make a final choice that weekend with your FI. It can also give you and FI a good quality time together where the two of you can work on wedding stuff, exclusively (Or take a good friend if he cannot!).

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/10/2010 11:04:20 AM
Author:FutureMrsMRS
So, I''m making headway on possible venues and caterers. And I even found a place that I really like that allows your own food & alcohol (which we''d prob just do beer and wine and not have to pay for security). I''ve come up with a reasonable budget for ceremony, venue, reception, dress, invites (I think - I''m going DIY), and favors (again DIY).


I''m building a website because I like that idea, and though I know 1/2 of this ''must have'' stuff is just the industry talking.


Questions:

a) We''re not having a bridal party, do we really need a rehearsal dinner?? Since the only involvement will be Dad walking me down the aisle, should we do this ''rehearsal'' and then maybe me, FI, my kids, and my parents go out for dinner??


b) Again, since we''re not having a bridal party, does the whole bridal shower thing go out the window? Unless a friend designates herself to plan it??


c) We''re getting married out of state, in October. We will be down in NC in June. Is that too late to lock in a caterer? I would DEFINITELY want to sample the food before hand, but I of course don''t want to deal with someone not being available on my date because we cut it close. The venue I like best is 2 hours from my parents so I''m looking at caterers in the Greensboro area. I don''t want to ask my mom to drive that far to taste food

(and yes, I implicitly trust her judgment in doing the tasting! If we can''t find an affordable caterer, she''s going to do the cooking).


I feel so overwhelmed! And my closest friends are 6 hours away. They''re doing what they can to help but man!


Thanks all!

A) I don''t think you need to have a rehearsal dinner, but it might be nice (and fun!) to hang out and chat with people that you might not really have time to see on your wedding day. When my husband and I got married, we just had a MOH and a BM (my sister and my husband''s friend) in our wedding party. Originally, we thought of having our RD be just immediate family, but then we realized that we really wanted to get together with family who we don''t see often. We had a blast, and I was SO glad we decided to have a RD. We also saw our RD as a way of thanking our relatives who had traveled quite a distance to attend our special day and be there for us. Of course, you could make the RD be whatever you want it to be, but I thought I''d give you my perspective.


B) Again, this is from my experience: I had two showers. My mom and one of her friends planned one, with the help of my sister, MOH, although she lives across the country. Basically, my sister was in charge of sending out the invitations and getting replies, while my mom and her friend took care of everything else. My other shower was hosted by my in-laws. I would think that someone would be happy to plan something for you, unless you specifically ask for nothing to be done.

C) Hmmm, it might be cutting it close, but you never know unless you ask around, right? I hope it works out for you!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

 

[zoebartlett]

I know you have possible venues, etc., but if you''re worried about finding a caterer in time, have you thought about having your wedding at a restaurant? That''s what we did and planning could not have been easier. Certain restaurants act as wedding venues all the time, I''m sure, and it might be easier to take care of most planning if you''re talking to one place. We worked with the restaurant''s wedding planners to plan our wedding and reception (both were held at the restaurant), and it was so great. Anyway I just thought I''d toss out that idea.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

@Zoe, I didn't know that was an option! Thanks!! I'll keep that in mind as I'm looking.

Thanks guys for your suggestions. I didn't think of considering the RD as an opportunity to catch up with everyone. All but about 15 people are people we don't get to see very often.

And I'm happier - I went dress shopping today!!

 

[zoebartlett]

I have another suggestion for you, FutureMrs:

You''re getting married in NC, right? I don''t know what part, by have you considered Asheville? I told me husband about your thread, and he actually came up with the idea of looking into the Deer Park restaurant on the Biltmore Estate grounds. I have no idea if they''re booked for October weddings, but it might be worth finding out if you''re interested. We live in NC and we visited the BE and the restaurant at Christmas time. The food is amazing and the setting is so romantic. It would be the perfect setting for a wedding, and I know they do weddings.

Anyway, just another suggestion for you.