doodle
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2008
- Messages
- 1,810
my family is absolutely HUGE (everyone has been married and remarried countless times, so i''m the eldest of 8 kids) while my FI has no siblings and a very small family. this is also his second marriage while it''s my first. as a result of this, my entire family is likely to show for our wedding while very little of his is. the complications of this dawned on me while we were discussing a rehearsal dinner. i know the groom''s parents traditionally pay for this, but in our case, his parents would be paying for a meal that consists of about 40 guests, over 30 of which are on my side, which i think is incredibly unfair to his parents. how do you handle the logistics of this? at our ceremony, chairs''ll be lined up to beijing and back on my side while his will have like 4 rows tops! i''m already considering asking my mother to cover the rehearsal dinner (my parents have been divorced since i was two, and she has offered to contribute, so i feel more comfortable asking her to pay for this aspect than his parents)? it also hurts me that i have met very little of his family and few of them will be attending our wedding. i know he has been married before, but he''s never been married to me, and i would like to meet his relatives. is anyone else in such a situation? any ideas on how to handle the details? i already feel guilty a) because i cut my bridesmaid list from 9 to 6 (like i said, i have waaaay too many siblings, plus i''ve had the same group of girlfriends my whole life, so i feel that i have slighted a few dear friends just to reduce numbers) while he has asked every guy friend he''s ever had plus all my brothers to stand up for him, and b)because i''m making him feel bad for issues beyond his control--he can''t help a previous marriage and that having made some of his family feel less than enthused about attending another wedding for him. i''m starting to think we should''ve eloped, and i''m getting really discouraged by everything. i guess i just need a bit of encouragement more than anything else. this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but instead i just feel like i''m making things harder for the people i love the most.