To elope or not to elope?

[mel047]

Wedding planning isn''t my idea of fun, especially when you''re in med school...

So, just curious, for those of you who eloped, anyone regret it? And if so, what did you regret about it?

Here''s where I''m coming from: Eloping seems stress free or at least minimal stress, and definitely less costly, but in the end will I miss the friends and family, first dance, etc. I know it''s really only a decision I could possibly make, but just curious what others thought.

 

[sctsbride09]

I hope its ok that Im answering (not married quite yet) but we are planning to elope hopefully by this summer.(waiting on my dress

) anyhow, I think it is really a personal decision for you and FH. I know for my fi and I we made our decision because of family conflict etc. and we decided we didnt want to tarnish something that is beautiful with other peoples nastiness. BUT..I must admit that I am a tiny bit sad that we arent having a wedding, simply because there are family members I would love to share our day with, but at the same time I dont want the day ruined..So I guess what Im trying to say is if it is possible for you to have a wedding I would because you might miss out on the family part, but if it is something that is impossible maybe a nice dinner or something after you return? Hope that helps, it is kind of a tough decision..

 

[Soon2BeMrsJo]

I haven''t gotten married yet (in the process of planning for August 1, 2009) but I''m wishing I would''ve eloped! There''s alot of craziness and drama involved with my wedding (selfish people in my family I tell ya!) Unfortunately, I''ve already put a deposit on my venue.

My only suggestion would be to be sure of what you want before leaving a deposit!

Good Luck!

 

[Soon2BeMrsJo]

Date: 10/30/2008 1:55:39 PM
Author: sctsbride09
I hope its ok that Im answering (not married quite yet) but we are planning to elope hopefully by this summer.(waiting on my dress

) anyhow, I think it is really a personal decision for you and FH. I know for my fi and I we made our decision because of family conflict etc. and we decided we didnt want to tarnish something that is beautiful with other peoples nastiness. BUT..I must admit that I am a tiny bit sad that we arent having a wedding, simply because there are family members I would love to share our day with, but at the same time I dont want the day ruined..So I guess what Im trying to say is if it is possible for you to have a wedding I would because you might miss out on the family part, but if it is something that is impossible maybe a nice dinner or something after you return? Hope that helps, it is kind of a tough decision..

I sooooo envy you!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

We have flip flopped with this idea many times and finally decided not to because we know we''ll regret not having our immediate family there (could care less about everyone else

).

I would first ask yourself if you could have a wedding without your parents/siblings there. And then ask if you could have a wedding without cousins/aunts/uncles/etc. If the answer to the first part is no and the answer to the second is yes, then maybe a small immediate family wedding is best for you. These weddings can be beautiful. The person that comes to mind is InLuv101. I think her wedding was about 20 people, mostly immediate family and it was beautiful! Hope you don''t mind Inluv! Link to her thread

But if you can have the wedding without immediate family and could care less about everyone else, then you''ll be fine with eloping. Surfgirl is one that comes to mind who eloped and didn''t regret it.

 

[modernsparkler]

As a med student I can relate. However, I am getting married in May after graduation and I could not be more excited. Fourth year has been very laid back compared to the rest of med school and I have had lots of time for planning, meetings, etc. I cannot speak to the elope part too much but although I have been busy I knew I wanted to plan a big wedding and now has been the perfect time to do so!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

As perfect as my day was, I still think it would have been better to elope. I think we would have enjoyed it just as much for less work and money, just so you have the flip side of it.

 

[mia1181]

Well I eloped and I had a great day and I don''t regret it one bit. There are still some stresses when you elope. For one, your friends and family might be hurt that they weren''t there or your parents might disapprove. Also the few things I did get to plan were stressful to me because I still wanted them to be perfect. But yeah, you spend a lot less time planning and since it costs less you spend less time stressing over money.

As you know, it''s a very personal choice and noone can tell you what to do. Almost everyone who has a wedding has at one point looked at their partner and said "why don''t we just elope?" But few people could actually live with that decision. The good news is there are lots of choices, I would take fieryred''s advice and start with just the two of you and see who you and FI feel absolutely have to be there. For me, when it came down to it I guess we were just okay that our parents weren''t there.

 

[katamari]

Is there any way you can merge them together to get everything you want? My FI and I, for instance, are planning on eloping with our parents (maybe this isn''t eloping--not quite sure). However, we also plan on having a "reception" of sorts so that our family and friends can meet one another. Is doing both a possibility? Or making a happy merger?

 

[SuLi]

I eloped last month and I don''t regret it one bit! We had a really great time, and it was true to us and what we wanted. We''ve been together for ten years, and were engaged for about a year and a half. We are both extremely shy, and the thought of having a traditional wedding where people fawn over you made me really uncomfortable. We planned the entire thing, so it wasn''t exactly spontaneous, and all of our family and friends knew about it.

 

[mel047]

As usual, good advice ladies! We still don''t really know exactly what we''re gonna do, but I''m sure something will get figured out, haha...

Mia- just wanted to say, your pics are absolutely amazing!