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stupid question - bridal shower gift/wedding gift?

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dec2410

Shiny_Rock
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Sep 5, 2007
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hi - i have kind of a stupid question (i''ve been to a million weddings and this question just came to mind...)

so I''m attending a wedding in sept. the bridal shower/bachelorette party is in july. do i bring gifts to both? someone told me that you bring gifts from the registry to the shower and cash to the wedding. is this true? are there rules for these things?

thought there''d be no better place to ask than a forum full of to-be brides!!
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thanks in advance for your input!
 

karasue91

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 27, 2007
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904
i think at a shower the idea is to "shower" them with gifts, so I think I would be more inclined to bring a gift to a shower than cash. i''ve actually never been to a bridal shower before though!! i think you can give them another gift for the wedding if you want, but cash is always appreciated.

i don''t think i''ll have a preference, i just hope we don''t get too many gifts that aren''t on our registry because i really hate having extra stuff laying around that i won''t use...
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
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14,167
It''s nice to bring a gift to both. Whether you want to give cash at the wedding is completely up to you. No one should dictate what gift you choose to give.
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 5, 2007
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It really depends on the culture of your area when it comes to the cash to the wedding thing. Where I live, people don't do that as often as they tend to in metro areas. As a former bride, I always take gifts from the registry to both, because I hated trying to complete my registry. ;-)

Typically, this is how I do the rundown of gifts:

Bachelorette - lingerie (several of my friends have actually done lingerie registries, which is VERY helpful) or make a cash gift to the MoH for drinks/party planning stuff
Shower - kitchen items or bathroom stuff
Wedding - something nicer from the registry

Because sometimes all three can be a little more than I want to spend on a gift, I usually will choose less expensive items for the bach and/or shower, and then the wedding gift is typically around what it would cost per head for both DH and me to attend the reception. There have been several threads on that last idea met with all sorts of different opinions. I think the bottom line when giving a gift is to always give what you're comfortable giving and what you think the recipient would like to receive. If you do that, everyone should be happy.
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 17, 2006
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3,867
Shower gifts are usually opened at the shower for everyone to look at, so that''s why you usually want to take a wrapped gift to that. Most often people buy from the registry, but it depends on if there is a theme for the shower and if you want to do the registry... some of my favorite gifts at the shower weren''t on my registry. The giver used it as an opportunity to get me something she knew that I wanted, not both of us... "shower the BRIDE" kind of thing. Either is great, of course. Cash is awkward at a shower because ''hey, the cash is from Susie!'' would make everyone uncomfortable.

As for gift or cash at the wedding, it''s up to you, and sometimes your culture. I got registry gifts at the wedding too.
 

loverocks

Shiny_Rock
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Mar 24, 2008
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184
Hi! I think the answer to your question might vary a little by region and/or the cultural custom. I live in the NE and typically for the bach. party I donate to the MOH to cover all expenses for the festivities (bride does not pay for hotel, airfare, drinks, etc.), for the shower I do gift(s), and for the wedding cash (typically $150-200 at least per guest attending - so for 2 people somewhere like $300-600). I hope that helps!
 

aprilcait

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2006
Messages
788
I''d say do whatever you feel best doing. I''m from the DC area and this is what I usually see:
bridal shower: gift registry
bach. party: donate to MOH for party
wedding: check or nicer registry items

If you do decide to do a registry item for the wedding I have a suggestion (if you don''t mind me putting it out there): send the gift directly to the couple before the wedding. For our wedding, most people sent the registry items directly to us before the wedding and it was PERFECT! That way we didn''t have to worry about somehow getting all of the wedding loot home, along with my dress, his tux, the bouquet, the suitcases, etc. I think only a couple of people gave us physical gifts at the wedding; the rest of the gifts were either sent us directly before the wedding or they were checks/cash dropped in the card container on the gift table. Perfect, IMO!
 

dec2410

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
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499
wow! thanks so much for the responses! all were very helpful!
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