Single guests bringing... guests?

[violet02]

I don''t have a ton of single friends coming but so far the last 4 have assumed they were allowed to bring guests! I was suprised by this. I thought people knew the etiquette on +1 or ''and guest'' being on their invite or not on their invite.

I addressed all of their invites with no ''and guest'' or +1 because we are SUPER tight on space. I already invited my B list at this point as well so we''re full up. If I get a few more no''s it may work but the fact that most of them just assumed they could bring a date suprised me. We''re even having placecards done in calligraphy! One of my friends said she''d just skip the food part if it was a problem bringing her ''date''. All of these people are single to boot!

I feel like I''m going to have to politely check in with my other single guests as well. Oh and my FI''s family friends decided to tack on their son as well. It''s like we have some sort of an open invite going? Argh!

 

[Gypsy]

To my knowlege there is no "and guest" requirement. I invited only a few people and guest. Mainly my single friends who don't know anyone else attending AT ALL, or FI's nephew who is our Best Man (but he's not bringing anyone, it was a courtesy to him more than anything else). If someone was dating long term then I had the name of the person, and addressed the invite to them by name.

I wouldn't have any issue calling up people who invited guests for themselves and telling them, "I'm sorry, but we are tight on capacity, and while we would love to meet your friend/date some other time, we can't accomodate them at the wedding."

No problem at all. As for the son. I'd call them up too! So far, knock on wood, we haven't had any issues like this. Just people who can't fill out the reply card properly *sigh* so I keep having to call them up and ask them for their entree selections. I decided last night I'm not doing this again. If they check two different entrees and I can't figure out which person gets what, I'm just assigning them arbitrarily. I figure they are going to be sitting next to each other and they can switch if they don't like what they get.

 

[neatfreak]

That''s really annoying...unfortunately many young people these days don''t seem to care/know basic etiquette rules!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

violet, that just plain stinks!

although my wedding planning was relatively stress-free, this is the one area where we hit a speed bump or two. we wanted no more than 70 guests tops at our wedding- it wasn''t just an US thing, but also a capacity thing. so we thought long and hard about singletons and their guests, and what to do. in the end, we didn''t extend a +1 to singles, unless it was a SERIOUS, long-term relationship. We had no problem having their SO''s there, just not any of the "flavor of the month" variety.

Most of our guests were OK with it, but a few actually gave us a hard time and WROTE IN a guest''s name when we indicated that "ONE SEAT HAS BEEN RESERVED IN YOUR HONOR" on the frickin'' RSVP card.

We stuck to our guns and had no problem telling those guests that they would have to fly solo.

 

[violet02]

Gypsy: My FI REALLY wants the family friends son to come so *sigh* I'm squeezing him in. Oh and I feel you on the RSVP card. So far I've gotten a couple with no name. PLENTY with the entree selection problem. Initial who gets what... instead 2 checkmarks next to chicken and beef. Who's chicken who's beef?? That's been making me nuts! I should do what you're doing just assign them food, although thankfully I am almost done. Lastly I've been taking RSVP food requests via email since some folks are too lazy to mail the card back.

Neatfreak: So very annoying. One of my single friends actually got kind of bent about it saying, hey I don't know anyone that well how do you expect me to come alone? Sigh. You could have at least asked instead of telling me!

Oh and I just found out from my aunt that one of my cousins might be able to come. Considering I have low representation from my mom's family she gets priority which may mean some uninvited 'and guests' get bumped!

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:45:46 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl
violet, that just plain stinks!

although my wedding planning was relatively stress-free, this is the one area where we hit a speed bump or two. we wanted no more than 70 guests tops at our wedding- it wasn''t just an US thing, but also a capacity thing. so we thought long and hard about singletons and their guests, and what to do. in the end, we didn''t extend a +1 to singles, unless it was a SERIOUS, long-term relationship. We had no problem having their SO''s there, just not any of the ''flavor of the month'' variety.

Most of our guests were OK with it, but a few actually gave us a hard time and WROTE IN a guest''s name when we indicated that ''ONE SEAT HAS BEEN RESERVED IN YOUR HONOR'' on the frickin'' RSVP card.

We stuck to our guns and had no problem telling those guests that they would have to fly solo.

ChargerGrrl - I plan on doing the same! Big fat NO! I have the same rules. Serious relationships only... a date IF we have room at the end of the RSVP period...

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:45:54 PM
Author: violet02
Neatfreak: So very annoying. One of my single friends actually got kind of bent about it saying, hey I don''t know anyone that well how do you expect me to come alone? Sigh. ''You could have at least asked instead of telling me!''

Are you KIDDING? People seriously just need to put on their big girl panties sometimes. I know it isn''t the BEST thing in the world to go to a wedding solo, but there are many other considerations that go into the guest list...she''ll understand when she''s planning her wedding.

If someone is unsure about whether they can bring a guest, I have no problem with them asking, but TELLING is a bit much. Geez.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:48:45 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 8/12/2008 7:45:54 PM
Author: violet02
Neatfreak: So very annoying. One of my single friends actually got kind of bent about it saying, hey I don''t know anyone that well how do you expect me to come alone? Sigh. ''You could have at least asked instead of telling me!''

Are you KIDDING? People seriously just need to put on their big girl panties sometimes. I know it isn''t the BEST thing in the world to go to a wedding solo, but there are many other considerations that go into the guest list...she''ll understand when she''s planning her wedding.

If someone is unsure about whether they can bring a guest, I have no problem with them asking, but TELLING is a bit much. Geez.

Seriously I can''t believe i have to tiptoe around this topic with some of my friends. Maybe they''re just not weddng savvy seriously. Now I''m worried about the fact that we didnt'' put ''semi-formal attire'' on the invite. I''m picturing t-shirts, shorts and a bunch of strange people who I don''t know that just show up!

 

[Haven]

Oh, how irritating, Violet. I agree that you should tell them that you''re very sorry they misunderstood the invitation, but you did not extend the invitation to a guest, only to your friends themselves.
If they put up a stink, I would look surprised and simply say that you are very sorry but you can only accommodate YOUR OWN friends, not theirs.

 

[CJ2008]

My sister seemed offended when she asked me if she could bring a guest and I told her I had to think about it and talk it over with DH (FI at the time, of course)...our wedding was very very small (18 total, including DH and I) mostly because we wanted everything top notch but very intimate...and couldn't afford it any other way...she wasn't seriously dating anybody at all, except for a long distance "relationship" with a guy she had met while on vacation...they were not at all committed to each other and since he lives in another country, their relationship was all over the telephone, except for the time they had together on vacation.

I ended up telling her that she could bring him, because she's my sister, and because the wedding was in Mexico so I knew she would have more fun...but it bothered me, especially because she knew all the reasons why we were having so few people...and that we had had to make some tough decisions as to who wouldn't be invited.

But it seemed like she thought it was really rude that I would have to think about it...I have a feeling she had asked her co-workers or something and they must've told her that of course she should be invited with a guest.

ETA: Sorry Violet that you're having to deal with this...I didn't have to deal with it much because of our very small guest list, but it was tough anyway. The day is definitely about you, and your DH, and the people that you really want there, though. So do what you want to REALLY do.

ETA: iluvcarats I miss your doggie...

 

[iluvcarats]

We will be celebrating 13 years in Sept., and to this day I still remember the people who did this at our wedding. For the same reason - didn''t want to go alone. We sucked it up, but I think we are out of touch with most of these people now. The day is actually about YOU! Sorry you are going through this. Planning a wedding can be tough!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

violet, good luck dealing with your extra guests! I''m sure you''ll come up with a graceful solution.


1. I agree that it was very rude of a guest to invite a date without being invited to do so. I''ve been invited to several weddings as a guest and am so paranoid about this that I actually ask boys if their invitation said "and guest" when I''ve been invited as a date to a wedding. I don''t want some bride looking at me, thinking "grrrrr. why did he bring this stranger when the invitation did not say he could!"


2. That being said, if it were my wedding, and I was inviting someone who actually did not know anyone at the wedding, I would invite them to bring a date, regardless of space or money. I am a very social person and love meeting new people, but attending a large wedding and only knowing the bride or groom would be very awkward! Cousins, family members, groups of a large circle of friends... these people have no excuse for throwing a fit about not having a date. A single person''s own insecurities about being single or not wanting to pass up an opportunity for a free romantic evening (dinner, dancing, dressing up on someone else''s tab - woohoo!) are no excuse to make the bride''s life difficult!


3. I can see the Mexico wedding from both sides. IT''s her sister getting married, so it''s not like she won''t know the people she''s traveling with and that should be plenty of fun and friends. However, she''s probably spending a lot of money, her vacation time, and energy to be at a destination wedding, so it makes sense that she should be able to bring a date to her sister''s wedding. I''m glad y''all worked it out!

 

[nclrgirl]

I only had one person do this. I''m sorry it''s messing with your plans! I was surprised too

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/12/2008 8:17:43 PM
Author: Guilty Pleasure
violet, good luck dealing with your extra guests! I''m sure you''ll come up with a graceful solution.


1. I agree that it was very rude of a guest to invite a date without being invited to do so. I''ve been invited to several weddings as a guest and am so paranoid about this that I actually ask boys if their invitation said ''and guest'' when I''ve been invited as a date to a wedding. I don''t want some bride looking at me, thinking ''grrrrr. why did he bring this stranger when the invitation did not say he could!''


2. That being said, if it were my wedding, and I was inviting someone who actually did not know anyone at the wedding, I would invite them to bring a date, regardless of space or money. I am a very social person and love meeting new people, but attending a large wedding and only knowing the bride or groom would be very awkward! Cousins, family members, groups of a large circle of friends... these people have no excuse for throwing a fit about not having a date. A single person''s own insecurities about being single or not wanting to pass up an opportunity for a free romantic evening (dinner, dancing, dressing up on someone else''s tab - woohoo!) are no excuse to make the bride''s life difficult!


3. I can see the Mexico wedding from both sides. IT''s her sister getting married, so it''s not like she won''t know the people she''s traveling with and that should be plenty of fun and friends. However, she''s probably spending a lot of money, her vacation time, and energy to be at a destination wedding, so it makes sense that she should be able to bring a date to her sister''s wedding. I''m glad y''all worked it out!

If the person was alone and didn''t know anyone then sure I''d let them bring a date. As it stands all of my friends know at least two other people that are coming... just one of my friends didn''t and I let them bring a date, their date also happens to be someone I know but am not close to per se. I also am seating people that know each other together. I have one other old friend I hardly ever see, like maybe once a year at this point... he won''t know anyone that will be there so I refrained from inviting him. I just didn''t have room for situations like this... I stuck to inviting closer friends who I see more frequently.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I didn''t get the impression that your friends fell into the don''t know anyone else category. I was just commenting on guest lists in general

I think people can be so clueless though, especially guys. They must think it''s like a big family dinner where there''s always room for one more. They don''t realize that their friend who is getting married is actually giving a caterer a specific count with a specific price attached to each of those guests... there''s no "oh, I''ll just eat half as much" going on as far as the price goes. Not to mention how it can throw off seating arrangments, place cards, etc etc. What a headache!


I''ll be one of the last to get married, so it won''t be much of an issue for me personally since all my friends seem to come in pairs. However, I remember friends right out of college having to make sure that guests didn''t think they could bring a date. She was in a sorority with me and he was in a ROTC group, meaning they had SEVERAL people to invite. We all had plenty of friends and other single people to hang out with, and I can''t imagine how big that wedding would have been if each person had brought a date with them!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:33:56 PM
Author: neatfreak
That''s really annoying...unfortunately many young people these days don''t seem to care/know basic etiquette rules!

I agree. Though until people go to a few weddings, or plan one, I really don''t see where they would learn. I knew, but my BF would have no clue about most etiquette things if I didn''t tell him. Our culture is less and less beholden to etiquette...

 

[diamondfan]

this is your wedding, and I agree with Gypsy that if you call and nicely let them know that while you would love to meet so and so, your wedding space is so limited that you cannot manage all your friends if you allow guests for some people. Sometimes people are clueless and sometimes they get it once you lay it out to them, I would never assume without being told yes that I could come with someone, but even if I did, if the bride to be called and explained it, I would not get all spazzy, I would decide to attend solo and that is it.

 

[Mediterranean]

AAAAND....

THIS would be where your bridal party (usually the MOH) and/or parents would come into the picture!!!

I would have your MOH, most responsible and tactful bridesmaid, or Mom call these people who invited extras as though your wedding were a spring break kegger or fun-for-the-whole-family and tell them NO.

I''ve done this for brides when I''ve been a bridesmaid in the past...it''s pretty easy to do, and it also helps to choose a person who is least known to your friends who''ve invited the extra guests. Less chance of any hard feelings or arguments.

I''d usually call up and introduce myself and then tell the person in question that the venue is having a problem with the final head count. Then I would say that I noticed that:

"your invitation was addressed to one person, but I see that two have replied requesting to attend. I''m sorry for the confusion, but due to our venue''s size limitations and the fire department''s capacity code for the venue, we''re sticking strictly to invitees only, which is why we didn''t add guests for singles: we simply can''t. It''s a logistical impossibility. [Bride & Groom] are really looking forward to seeing *you* at their wedding, but they''ll have to contact you regarding getting together with you and [insert uninvited guest''s name here] together, at a later date."

At this point, the people who added the extras without consulting the B&G usually relent, and apologize profusely. Many are GENUINELY confused, and think that maybe because B&G don''t know Boyfriend or Girlfriend''s name, they didn''t address the invitation that way,so they assumed it would be OK....

The people with kids are a little more difficult. A couple of those get upset, but I simply stick to the same story. Blame the venue, blame the fire code, apologize, blame the venue, blame the fire code, apologize.

Some insist on speaking directly with the B&G, so that should be the party line: "So sorry. Fire code. Venue capacity limits. Strictly enforced. Limit Reached. So sorry" Helps if everyone tells the same story. And it keeps everything friendly. Rather than make it sound as if their boyfriend/girlfriend/kid isn''t welcome, it''s a simple matter of following the law. Nothing personal.

Enlist the help of your venue, here, too. In case someone actually calls them (nervy! They probably won''t)...tell your catering manager or venue rep. that you''ve got this issue with the uninvited guests, and you cited capacity/fire code as the reason why the extras can''t come.

It stays drama-free that way.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:20:38 PM
Author: Gypsy
To my knowlege there is no 'and guest' requirement. I invited only a few people and guest. Mainly my single friends who don't know anyone else attending AT ALL, or FI's nephew who is our Best Man (but he's not bringing anyone, it was a courtesy to him more than anything else). If someone was dating long term then I had the name of the person, and addressed the invite to them by name.

We did exactly the same.

I'm really sorry, violet

what a stinky thing to deal with. What Haven suggested:

Date: 8/12/2008 7:57:47 PM
Author: Haven
I agree that you should tell them that you're very sorry they misunderstood the invitation, but you did not extend the invitation to a guest, only to your friends themselves.
If they put up a stink, I would look surprised and simply say that you are very sorry but you can only accommodate YOUR OWN friends, not theirs.

Is what I'd probably do.

We put "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor" on our RSVP cards so I wouldn't have to deal with people adding plus ones. It's just such a headache.

 

[jasontb]

I think you should do whatever you can to accommodate those who replied with a guest, even though you did not invite one. They are just dumb and confused...cut ''em some slack if you can. Personally, I would never invite a person over the age of 17 anywhere, especially to a wedding, and tell them that they could bring a guest. If you know who they are dating, you invite the guest by name. Otherwise, they get an ''and Guest''. Just my old fashioned view...although I am not at all old.

That said, I also would not reply that I was bringing a guest if I received an invitation which did not indicate my guest was welcome...so I do feel bad for you there. But here comes the kicker...I would not go to a wedding / party / whatever if I were invited and not allowed to bring a guest.

Personally, I''d be insulted.

I realize my opinion is opposite of most you''ve heard...but that''s the reason I thought it was worth you hearing.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/13/2008 1:05:46 AM
Author: jasontb
Personally, I would never invite a person over the age of 17 anywhere, especially to a wedding, and tell them that they could bring a guest. If you know who they are dating, you invite the guest by name. Otherwise, they get an 'and Guest'. Just my old fashioned view...although I am not at all old.

Wait, do you mean "and tell them that they could not bring a guest?"

The problem that I have with "and guest"-ing every single guest is that it often means that your guest list gets out of control doubly fast. Then you have to choose between inviting two friends, or only ONE friend and their guest (a stranger, in most cases). That's what it would've meant for us (if we'd included "and guests", our budget would've increased by about $5000)--and I would NOT let any friend get the boot just so another friend could use my wedding as a substitute for dinner-and-a-movie.

With weddings no longer being a cake-and-punch-in-the-recreation-room affair, and couples trying to create an intimate setting in which all their guests are their own... expecting and-guest-ing doesn't really make sense anymore. In these days of tight budgets vs. full sit-down dinners, strangers don't have much place at a wedding. (Yes, the exception is those single guests who wouldn't otherwise know people at the wedding.)

I would not go to a wedding / party / whatever if I were invited and not allowed to bring a guest.

Personally, I'd be insulted.

Are you serious? Someone invites you to share in one of the most important events of your life, and just because you don't get to bring a buddy you'd say "no thanks," and be upset that they weren't able to cover your date night?

If someone invited me to a house party and I weren't allowed to bring anyone, I might (MIGHT--though probably not) be insulted. Because it costs them nothing except a little extra space. But when weddings are costing $100+ a head, it makes no sense to be insulted that the bride and groom are unable to shell out for guests of guests (times however many single guests they have).

Sorry for the threadjack, violet.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 8/13/2008 1:05:46 AM
Author: jasontb

That said, I also would not reply that I was bringing a guest if I received an invitation which did not indicate my guest was welcome...so I do feel bad for you there. But here comes the kicker...I would not go to a wedding / party / whatever if I were invited and not allowed to bring a guest.

Personally, I''d be insulted.

Personally, I feel honored anytime someone invites me to participate in something as special as their wedding, with or without a "+1." However, I also have no problem excusing myself from the reception a bit early (or going out to explore the surroundings for awhile and then returning) if it turns out that there really is no one for me to talk with.

 

[diamondfan]

I think in a perfect world all people would like to say to all of their single friends, yes, bring someone. However, space and costs are high nowadays, and I think if I had to chose, I would rather my good friends be there, and if having someone bring a random person with them meant I could not have the room for one of my friends it would matter. I mean, if someone is dating seriously, living together, then I invite the couple. But if there is not even a name to put on an invite, and space or money does matter, I may not be able to do so. And I would hope that my friends would understand that all things being equal I would have liked to invite them with a guest, but that it might not be doable. If they would not attend my wedding over it, if they would not have any understanding, well, there is nothing I can do. And while I might not love to be invited solo, I surely would make the choice to go and see my friend get married.

It is not a given nor a guarantee to come with someone if you are not in a relationship that you get to bring a guest. And to simply assume that you can even when your invite clearly does not say so is just rude to me.

I have gone to many events solo, and while it is not always a picnic, I make it work. The event itself is more important in the grand scheme, and I can manage for a night.

 

[gtn]

Date: 8/12/2008 7:20:38 PM
Author: Gypsy
To my knowlege there is no ''and guest'' requirement. I invited only a few people and guest. Mainly my single friends who don''t know anyone else attending AT ALL, or FI''s nephew who is our Best Man (but he''s not bringing anyone, it was a courtesy to him more than anything else). If someone was dating long term then I had the name of the person, and addressed the invite to them by name.


I wouldn''t have any issue calling up people who invited guests for themselves and telling them, ''I''m sorry, but we are tight on capacity, and while we would love to meet your friend/date some other time, we can''t accomodate them at the wedding.''


No problem at all. As for the son. I''d call them up too! So far, knock on wood, we haven''t had any issues like this. Just people who can''t fill out the reply card properly *sigh* so I keep having to call them up and ask them for their entree selections. I decided last night I''m not doing this again. If they check two different entrees and I can''t figure out which person gets what, I''m just assigning them arbitrarily. I figure they are going to be sitting next to each other and they can switch if they don''t like what they get.

I agree with Gypsy. The most important thing is to talk to these folks.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/13/2008 1:40:40 AM
Author: musey

Date: 8/13/2008 1:05:46 AM
Author: jasontb
Personally, I would never invite a person over the age of 17 anywhere, especially to a wedding, and tell them that they could bring a guest. If you know who they are dating, you invite the guest by name. Otherwise, they get an ''and Guest''. Just my old fashioned view...although I am not at all old.

Wait, do you mean ''and tell them that they could not bring a guest?''

The problem that I have with ''and guest''-ing every single guest is that it often means that your guest list gets out of control doubly fast. Then you have to choose between inviting two friends, or only ONE friend and their guest (a stranger, in most cases). That''s what it would''ve meant for us (if we''d included ''and guests'', our budget would''ve increased by about $5000)--and I would NOT let any friend get the boot just so another friend could use my wedding as a substitute for dinner-and-a-movie.

With weddings no longer being a cake-and-punch-in-the-recreation-room affair, and couples trying to create an intimate setting in which all their guests are their own... expecting and-guest-ing doesn''t really make sense anymore. In these days of tight budgets vs. full sit-down dinners, strangers don''t have much place at a wedding. (Yes, the exception is those single guests who wouldn''t otherwise know people at the wedding.)

I would not go to a wedding / party / whatever if I were invited and not allowed to bring a guest.

Personally, I''d be insulted.

Are you serious? Someone invites you to share in one of the most important events of your life, and just because you don''t get to bring a buddy you''d say ''no thanks,'' and be upset that they weren''t able to cover your date night?

If someone invited me to a house party and I weren''t allowed to bring anyone, I might (MIGHT--though probably not) be insulted. Because it costs them nothing except a little extra space. But when weddings are costing $100+ a head, it makes no sense to be insulted that the bride and groom are unable to shell out for guests of guests (times however many single guests they have).

Sorry for the threadjack, violet.

Ditto Musey on the ''strangers at a wedding'' ''$100+a head'' sentiment! Seriously it''s not a house party it''s a wedding!

jasontb: I think the easiest thing in the case of someone like you (like my friend that I mentioned NOT inviting earlier) would be to not invite you. That way you wouldn''t be stuck alone and not know anyone. You see the option was leave those people off the invite or spare a seat and invite the ones I could. So in some people''s cases it''s either one seat or no seat!

I want to add that the best man also said he was bringing a date.. but wouldn''t be able to let us know until the month before the wedding because a) he just met her and b) she lives in LA (he lives in Denver) and he wasn''t sure if they''d be together then... but hey include her in the rehearsal dinner, give her room at the house rental and she''ll be sitting at the bridal party table! Um... My FI was like okay sure. !!!!! LUCKILY, they just broke up, lol. PHEW!

As I said before too, I let my friend who knew almost no one bring a guest... the rest all have a lot of friends that will be there! Including other single people who I will be seating them with! How much easier can it get for them seriously? I could say, No sorry and I know you won''t know anyone but suck it up!

My guy friend tonight said that guys dont'' know any better about ''and guests'' at wedding until they go to enough weddings to know better...(as guilty pleasure and trillionare said!)

I think what gets me the most about this is that people don''t get exactly how much it costs out of your own pocket to pay for all these extra guests! My other friend that I told today NO on the ''and guest'' said okay fine... I''m not dating her anyways, I don''t even know her that well I just didn''t want to come by myself!

Oh and one last story... I hired my friend who''s a dj to do the wedding at a ''discount''. He''s charging me $1600 vs his usual $2500 fee, plus he''s giving us a couple of dance lessons. I have to pay for his hotel room in Carmel though and he''s getting a meal and sitting at a table since he''s a friend. Today he said he was hoping to bring a date who would be his ''assistant'' or whatever. Doing what I have no idea. I said maybe, like an idiot... I mean he''s working the wedding for pete''s sake! Not hanging out! I wrote him later after I posted this and said we don''t have room but if something opens up later where we can I will let you know.

 

[jasontb]

Just remember that your guests are doing you a favor. Not the other way around. No matter how much you are spending.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:55:23 AM
Author: jasontb
Just remember that your guests are doing you a favor. Not the other way around. No matter how much you are spending.

I get what you're saying here. People are traveling from far away (or near) to attend the wedding. Some of them are spending money on hotels or flights so sure it's definitely them making an effort to be there for us. I appreciate that a lot. In return I hope they have a great time and enjoy the food, alcohol and good company.

On the flip side though I think that just because you decide to go to a friends wedding doesn't entitle you to do what you want, such as bring a guest just because you want to.

I'd hope people are coming to my wedding because they want to be there not because they are 'doing me a favor'.

 

[bee*]

I agree with Musey. I would much rather have two of my friends than a friend and a stranger at my wedding. I''m going to do a +1 for people who don''t know anyone else at the wedding, but for all our other friends that hang around together all the time, I''m just going to invite them alone,unless they''re in a relationship.

 

[zoebartlett]

This happened to us as well. Once of my friends is no longer with her husband and she wasn''t dating anyone, so I invited her without a guest. We have a few friends in common, so I knew she''d have others to hang out with at our wedding. She added someone to her reply card without asking. Yeah, I was annoyed. I had only met her friend once, and all I thought was "if I had wanted this friend at my wedding, I would have invited him myself." It''s one thing to ask if you can bring someone (and we had that happen too), but it''s another thing to take it upon yourself to just write in someone''s name and think that will be okay. It''s not as if we overlooked that detail when sending out invitations. I never said anything to my friend though.

 

[purrfectpear]

I''m another who does not attend parties, weddings, or any sort of event without an escort. I wouldn''t dream of writing one in, but if the invitation does not include one, I reply with regrets. It''s just my personal choice. I have no hangups about being alone, I travel alone, dine alone, do most things alone...but I prefer to attend events with an escort.