Should I Register for Gifts?

[jaz464]

I am having a destination wedding in the Bahamas in Sept. I did not think I was going to register for gifts because we are only inviting 20 people and the trip with plane tickets and hotel is not cheap for our guests. However, my FH thinks we should register because we both have many cousins and aunts and uncles that are not coming (actually not invited) but that might want to send us a gift. I really don''t know what to do. I don''t expect gifts from people that are not invited. And if the few wedding guests that we do have get us something, I would imagine it would be money, as that is easier with this type of wedding. I don''t think anyone wants to cart a gift off to the bahamas. Also, all of our family lives across the country so any gifts would have to be sent. Wouldn''t most people just send $$? Also, I''m not sure if anyone would even know if we were registered.

 

[curlygirl]

I believe in registering. It eliminates all the unwanted gifts and it takes the pressure off people who don't really know what to get you. While the majority of our guests did give us money (which we were really happy about!), many bought us all the great things off our regsitries. Also, if you're having a shower, it's the perfect way for everyone to know what to give you. You'd be surprised by the gifts you get from people who aren't even invited to your wedding. We got gifts from lots of our business associates and they got them right off our registry. Also with registering, your guests don't have to worry about schlepping gifts with them to your wedding--they will just be sent to your home. I think it makes life much easier and it's really fun to actually pick all the items!

 

[firebirdgold]

My sister is also having a DW and doesn''t want any gifts since they''re having enough trouble stuffing two household''s worth of stuff into one small house.

But since people like to give gifts, particularly if they can''t go to the wedding, she''s going to register with a charity.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have never given anyone a wedding gift if I was not invited to the wedding, but maybe that is just me. I think if you only have 20 invited guests I would not register. Have any of your guests asked where you have registered?

 

[chrisam143]

We will have a DW too with only 20 people. But plan on having a party when we get back for those who cant come to the wedding. We were thinking of registering for a few thins so that if the people who come to the bridal party or after wedding local party can give gifts.

Are you planning on having a party when you get back or a bridal party? If so I think you should register. What do others think of this?

 

[sarita]

Jazmine,

We are in the same boat (I'm also going to get married in the Bahamas, but in Jan '07). At first I was pretty certain a register would be unnecessary given our size (about 20, like you) but lately I have given it a different thought thinking if people do decide to give a gift, it would eliminate duplicates. I expect family would buy the pricier items (china, if we pick any, and the ubiquitous Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer we'll need) but for the cheaper items I'd hope we don't get 5 toasters. Cash would be great but given that our guests would be paying for the flight and the cruise I wouldn't expect it. Plus it would be really fun to register, I think! We will probably do something simple and practical like Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

 

[LizzieC]

Ditto on the DW with about 20 people.

I didn''t want to register at first... I felt like the airfare the guests are spending to get there is enough of a gift. But one of my guests asked where I was registered, and when I said nowhere, she said... "Please, please, register... it makes it so much easier for us!"

Also, I asked FI if his family really wouldn''t get us gifts if he asked them not to, and he said no... that they''d get us something. So I figure it''s better to get what we need than to get some random cookware we probably already have! The only thing we registered for is everyday china at C&B

 

[fountainfairfax]

REGISTER!!!! I have been dealing with how to recognize the DWs of co-workers and some business associates- the ones that didn''t register make it very difficult to do the right thing. Cash gifts for weddings are very popular in NY but the amount is usually $100+ and it''s not in the budget to give a lot of cash, but I''d like to give something. I think your co-workers, friends and relatives appreciate having the option to give you something that you want. And even with a DW I bet you''ll still have a shower and even if no one buys a thing you''ll have one hell of a shopping list!

 

[flutterby]

I have a few comments;

I went to a wedding in the bahamas a few years ago, and did not buy a gift, they made it very clear they didnt expect them. It was expensive to go, and I could barely afford to go....thank God it was all inclusive (radisson cable beach, naussau). Looking back, I shouldve probably got them more than a card.

I have sent gifts to weddings I havent been invited to. In the case of a friend who lived on the opposite side of the country and had a small wedding, and of course co-workers showers.

Finally, We werent going to register. We have everything we need, and although we could upgrade are having a smallish wedding in Vegas. Everyone keeps telling us to register, so we just might.... might as well get some of the things we want, even though we dont expect anything!

 

[regalada]

Another 20-guest destination wedding here. We are leaning towards not registering. Half of our guests would not even have access to the stores we would register at since they live in Puerto Rico. My closest friends are already contributing to the wedding by being maid of honor, or by having their little ones as flower girl and ring bearer, so I''d made it clear to them we are not expecting gifts. We have been living together for three years now so we already have everything we need, and we like our stuff so we don''t feel the need to upgrade yet.

We are not inviting anyone from work to the wedding and I declined to have a shower so they would not need to buy us gifts either.

So in all, there might be about 5 people who would use our registry if we had one. Given that they are flying quite far to the wedding, chances are they will give us money and be done with it. If they choose to give us gifts that we cannot use, we will pray for receipts and exchange them.

 

[aaftabj]

Register, but only tell the people who ask for it. The rest will spread by word of mouth and people will visit the site if they want to...
Don''t send out an email/cards to people who aren''t invited, unless it you are having a party back home. And make sure you register plenty of lower cost items, so people who are coming can get you somethingsmall that you really need.

BTW, my friend registered his honeymoon in Hawaii, and it was really cool... we could buy the couple a pair of drinks (or several), a swim with dolphins, a days car rental, anything we want. That''s a great suggestion for a couple that already lives together and has everything they want. Specially if you would be throwing away stuff that you have, just to make room for new stuff... consume consume consume!!

 

[chickflick]

We decided not to register for our fifty guest cruise ship wedding because the things we''d like to have are way too expensive- I already have most of the stuff you register for like formal china (inherited from my mother). Instead, I just put a blurb on the registery part of our website that says, "If you feel led to give us a gift, please consider a Lowe''s or American Express gift card." We know there are people who will want to give and we wanted to make it easier for them, but I didn''t want it to seem like we expected gifts.

Hope that helps!

 

[lilyinct]

We had a 60 person wedding, and chose not to register...didn''t want to deal with the hassle (and expense) of having to go back to the store to buy the matching pieces of whatever we registered for but did not receive.

We got cash from everyone, which was perfect (even distant relatives who were not invited to the wedding). When people asked me where I was registered at, I simply told them that we had everything we needed.

I think if you leave it at that, it should be enough...not sure if I agree with specifically asking for gift certificates or cash.