Settling for a venue?

[allycat0303]

Did anyone kind of settle on their venue even though it doesn''t suit their style?

I''m a really simple kind of girl. Like simple. Like bold colors. Hate fussy, hate it with a passion. So after lots of complications, I''m back to looking at venues.

And the problem is that I am realizing the venue we are really close to choosing...doesn''t suit me AT ALL. I don''t even think it will fit my wedding dress. It is SUCH a fussy venue. Or maybe I should say stuffy.

And I don''t want to spend a penny on decorating because I am really annoyed at spending so much on wedding. (And honestly, nothing I do is going to eliminate the stuffiness)

So how did you all pick?

I have to be honest, but price motivated me the most. And the fact that it was in the geographical region my fiancé wanted.

I am thinking that I will decorate in accordance with the stuffiness and then just continue in that vein.

 

[noelwr]

I don''t think you should settle with a venue you don''t like. it''s your venue, you''re spending money it, so get something that''s going to make you feel happy. I think the venue says a lot about a wedding and should get guests to think "wow this is nice" as well as be a representation of yourself so that you are comfortable in it. you want it to complement you, not make you feel like you don''t fit in.

 

[Gypsy]

My venue has a lovely ceremony area and a great courtyard for the cocktail hour. It's a new venue so everything about it is in good repair.

But the reception room is just BLAND, BORING, and INSTITUTIONAL. Not me. At all. It was in budget, the service was and IS good, and it's in the location we wanted. So we booked it. I'm spending a small fortune on decorating the room, and am still vaguely dissatisfied, but because of the above three reasons, I'm not regretting my choice. I am regretting that there was NO other viable choice in budget, with good service, in the location we wanted... but among the choices we had, I'm content with my decision.

Does that make sense? If you can come to some peace about it, go for it. IF you are going to regret the decision, don't do it.

 

[surfgirl]

ally, you''re the one who had to deal with the ''zilla sister bride, didn''t you? Something like that? Sweetie, you should choose a venue that reflects YOU...Why settle on a place that you dont like for your special day? We chose our location for ceremony, our photo locations, our accomodations all based on who we are and what we wanted for our big day. I think if you think about WHAT you want the day to look like, you can find a place to reflect that. Nice doesn''t have to be fancy or expensive either...

 

[crystalheart1]

I visited about five before I saw the one that I knew I "wanted"... So please keep looking. It is worth it since you are investing so much emotion and money in this day.

They were all different styles. I am in the Philly area and the catering places were not my style at all...And many had a 50 people minimum. We are right at 50 so I was not interested in paying for people who did not attend if it fell below that..

We went into a nice Marriott Hotel that is right out of the city, but gave the city feel. It is elegant and contemporary without it being stuffy or over the top. They also include black table cloths as standard so I can do a nice elegant cala lily or some other ivory / white flower to keep my simple but elegant theme... on a modest budget.

Plus we are getting a nice package since we are doing a Sunday booking. We went into some venues that had a very old fashion, outdated feel. Some looked like they were the KMART of the venue world. The director asked me what my VISION for the wedding was, and I wanted to say not this..ha As soon as I saw this Hotel ( and I looked at several ) I knew it was the one...

Just what my vision was - before I really knew exactly my vision would beor what it would look like,, does that make sense ?

Just a funny side note, one of the catering directors we met with ( male) spent the entire time staring at my chest..
so creppy. Even FI notice.. how could you not

 

[Gypsy]

Yup SG. Ally'sister and parents behave poorly. In light of being reminded of that fact... I'm changing my post.

DO NOT SETTLE. You are worth having your dream venue. GO FOR IT.

 

[crystalheart1]

Also, to add, another thing I liked about the Hotel was the convenience of getting ready at the Hotel and going straight to the suite after the wedding

They include the honeymoon suite as part of the package.

I am also getting the cake which is being made by a very high end bakery from the Main Line, and a nice cocktail hour that is in an elegant marble area outside of the ballroom. It will be roped off and is on a "wing" so it is seperate from the rest of the hotel..Open bar, high end food for a little over 100.00 per person , inclusive..yay

 

[allycat0303]

Gypsy, Surfurl

My family...well and then some. So much has happened, because I originally did have the dream venue booked and contract signed, but family interfered for summer wedding. Moving on before me head blows off....the venue we originally had, went through to another owner and believe it or not, gave me for 2009 menu selections without prices. In fact, flat out refused to give me prices only vaguely hinting that it ''''around 120/person" without drinks. She wanted me to book first with deposit and then 3 months before the wedding figure out how much it would cost. Which I think is crazy. It could end up being 200/person.

So blah. My guy wants to get married on the south shore. He is very adament on the south shore. Can''t be budged. And I want a wedding in the country in NON -HOTELish setting.

So this is what we are a tiny thread away from booking (140/person.Very reasonable. Right location. Right price. Just not me, although fiancé thinks it is nice (but he''s a guy. He doesn''t know the difference between a rose and a tulip.)

http://www.chateaustantoine.com/nosSalles.htm

We would have the compte de campagne room. I mean come on. It''s stuffy right? Or is that just me?

 

[Gypsy]

Yeah. Your family... well, what else is there to say. I felt horribly guilty when I saw your post about your parent''s getting robbed, because to be REALLY REALLY honest, my first thought was "that karma is a b*tch." Still and all. Let''s not let them taint the thread.

Hmm. I would describe that room as ornate and opulent and very fussy. I will tell you, that I prefer my bland as heck conference room to that room, personally. And wouldn''t book my wedding there. Your first venue sounds like they are cracked in the head. Seriously. Okay. So we need to find you a different venue. What does 140 a head include? And have you looked on the knot for venue recommendations (not the boards, just the site) and have you posted on your knot local boards for recommendations?

 

[crystalheart1]

want a wedding in the country in NON -HOTELish setting.

WOW,, Was that directed to me ??? I am sorry for giving you my experience. I was just trying to help

I feel attacked for my suggestion/advise. A little hurt too...since I like HOTELish settings

Is that a bad thing ?

That was a bit harsh. But, I think the venue you posted looked very nice... not sure if you value my feed back.

 

[rockzilla]

Crystal, I think that she was just talking about what she and her fiance had as their priorities, not directed towards you....

if I remember correctly, her sister (or someone) was getting married at some fancy schmancy hotel so that may be it...

PS in terms of the room shown, are there any other chairs available? If you could get some normal gold or natural colored chivari chairs, I think that woulld take the fussiness factor down a notch...nothing stays stuffy/fussy like tufted upolstered wood dining chairs.

 

[allycat0303]

crystalheart, oh my god no. That was nothing at you at all. So funny that you think that actually. I didn't even think of it when I wrote it. Sorry if you felt it was directed at you. I can't afford most of the hotels in Montreal (there's plenty of hotels I would WANT but out of budget), and the south shore ones consist of Comfort Inn...

Gypsy, I KNEW you would agree. It`s so not me. Fussy, fussy. I was like ok, since we're going with gross fussy, let's go all the way. And then I thought of the photographer I want and thought 'Maybe he'll refuse to shoot there because it offends his sense of style.' Can you even take 'photojournalist style pictures at a place like that?' Oh my gosh, I am worried my photographer is going to turn his nose up at my venue!! I'm meeting with him tonight at 6:30. His quote nearly made me vomit but I love the work. And maybe he could make my 'only in pictures double chin disappear.' One could hope.

I don't know if it was karma. Sometimes you wonder when things like that happen. But my family went insane, then nice, and my mom is actually happy that I am getting married (that's been the mood for the last month) She actually loves the venue. But she's fussy, so not surprising. Let's be honest...Ally loves the price.

http://www.weddingpicture.info/

Take a look for me sweetie. And prevent me from doing anything insane.

rockzilla: The only chairs available. But the mirrors too. I was going to go fussy all the way with beige-gold table clothes) and candleberas with red roses. I figure it suits the style of the room.

 

[crystalheart1]

Alli - I am just a bit sensitive today,, and I guess I took it out of context since it was directly after my post about the Hotel. I was not aware of your background regarding a family member..

AND - I just went through a very emotional day yesterday after asking my Mom if she was going to contribute to our wedding..long story but the answer was no,,, and done in a very hurtful and insulting way.

So, I guess I am ultra sensitive right now ... getting my feelings hurt for no reason...

Sorry for taking it the wrong way

 

[rockzilla]

Ally - do NOT worry about the photographer turning up his nose at the venue. It is his job to make YOU and the WEDDING look FREAKING AWESOME.

I went to his site - click on the picture labeled ''celebration'' you''ve got a standard ballroom, ugly acoustic ceiling tile, kind of tacky sconces and chandaliers. But do you see that? No - you see a gorgeous bride having a great time as she is hoisted into the air! So have fun!

 

[allycat0303]

Aww Crystal, you do not need to apologize in any way, I truthfully did not think at all. My original setting was a very nice hotel on the south shore, which I was in love with. It''s actually a pang in my heart because for the past year I saw and pictured myself getting married there this summer

And I am sorry that you are having a bad day. Sometimes Moms can be the worst enemy when it comes to wedding planning. I think some moms take a wedding as a way to bring all mother-daughter issues out of the closet.

Rockzilla: I didn''t even notice the background of the pictures actually. But you''re right. Hugs! It''s a high end photographer and for some reason I am ridiculously intimidated. This is the one that shot ALL of my friends weddings. They sent me a photo reel and I nearly cried.

 

[Gypsy]

Photographer looks really good. How bad are we talking in terms of vomit? Puking till dawn, or just swallow it back???

Rockzilla is totally right about the venue and photographer thing, don''t worry about the photographer''s thoughts on venue decor. I do wish we could change the chairs. OH... how about dresses for them. Chair covers with sashes? And some greenery floral swags for the tops of the mirrors? It would add to the expense though.

I''m glad mom is finally onboard and happy. You deserve it. You have all my best wishes for this to continue through the wedding itself!

 

[allycat0303]

Gypsy,

My sister is getting married this summer, have come to peace with it. I am regretting the venue loss though, because they would have honored the contract if I had gotten married this summer. Blah.

Photographer is $6000 (tax YET to be included. It's 15% tax in Quebec) actually, the pictures on the website aren't NEARLY as good as the one's they sent to me for promotion. This is actually my friend. And you will understand why I am yearning with all my heart. There's an associate team which would be cheaper, but the main team. I am insane about the photos.

http://www.weddingpicture.info/slide_shows/Melissa_Jesse/index.html

basically package consists of

Full day

-2 photographers

-Unlimited locations

-150-4x6 premium edition prints

-Preview CD with all images 450 pxl

-Storybook 8x12, transparent cover, photographic paper, 20 pg

10 prints up to 8x10

-Slide show (like the one you are watching)

Video;

-Full day

-SD filming (Standard Definition)

-Full montage

-2DVDs

It is NOT the best deal in Montreal. But I think it is actually a reasonable deal for the quality. Let me know what you think.

Oh yes, it is double my original photo budget. Talk about vomit inducing.

 

[rockzilla]

Go with the photographer you love and then venue you''ve chosen. He will make it look beautiful in the photos and that''s how you''ll always remember it. And it sounds like the budget evens things out between the two!

RZ

ooops - just realized you asked gypsy - oh well, trying to make it to the next level above "cut rock" so one more post towards that

 

[allycat0303]

Rockzilla,

You''re too funny. You definitely will be an Ideal pronto

All advice I can get is more then welcome. I really feel unsure of myself in this whole planning stuff

 

[Pandora II]

I remember your last venue which was gorgeous - is there a reason you can't go back there?

The first shot of the room I didn't think was too bad. I don't think mirrors are a major problem as you can use your centrepieces to make a bolder statement .

But... the chairs are very icky, and I'm not loving the swaggy curtain thing.

Do you have other options that we can all critique for you?

PS I also remember the sister drama. I hope you can forgive her, because I don't.

ETA: My above comments should be qualified. I was trying to look at it through the eyes of someone who doesn't like that TYPE of look.

Personally I think that 99% of it actually looks lovely - but the chairs are still icky (but then people do sit in them and then you can't see them!)

I LOVE the very art deco looking room on the top - bella vista I think.

 

[Gypsy]

I live in CA, so my idea of budgets and whatnot are affected by that, but there were so many lovely lovely photos in that sildeshow!! And the package price is good for everything you are getting, from what the prices here are. I think you should definitely splurge on photography. After all the $$... it''s all that''s left, and memories. Do it!

 

[allycat0303]

Pandora, I could go back to the original venue, but since they''ve changed owners, the new policy is really, really wishy washy about the price. I think the intention is to get you to sign on the dotted line and then kill you with the price per person once you''ve already put the deposit down.

I like the bella vista room too. Much more me, it''s a lounge where I will be before the wedding, so I figure if all else fails I get some gorgeous pictures there. Gardens ok. Once again, just slightly ''''more then what is me'''' overlooks water which is a +

And the church right beside the venue is to die for. Voted one the the 3 prettiest churches in Quebec and believe me we have LOTS of churches in Quebec.

Situated in a little down that is on the side of a river.

Honestly, after lots more drama, I realized it wasn''t worth it. My sister really wanted things to be done a certain way, and my life has been a lot more stress free since I let it go. I don''t think I had the guts to get married with my whole family not showing up and sending me bad vibes.

As for other venues on the south shore, there''s others I just crossed off, let me see:

http://www.lechantecler.com/chantecler.php?fiche=galerie (this starts at 175$/person) and it''s about 45 minutes from my house. I don''t like the look though.

http://www.manoirrouvillecampbell.com/ (original venue which I love of course, originally at 140/person, one of my friends is getting married this summer and she told me that it ended being about 225/person) but of course, she didn''t find that out until 3 months before the wedding. I don''t know if she is exaggerating or not, but very wishy washy when I met with the new coordinator. I kept insisting on prices next to the items on menu and she was like ''''our new policy is not to include them'''' ARGH if it doesn''t give me a jolt when I see it.

 

[sera]

Yeah, not lovin'' those chairs. The rest isn''t bad, it''s just not you. I think you can do a lot with a room (whether it''s overly stuffy or boardroom boring) to have focal points that reflect you. That said, I wouldn''t want to go with a venue I totally despise. (I keep contemplating my church''s ugly fellowship hall... it would make some things easier but the decorating would have to be more... so many decisions for us brides.) It''s your wedding, so find something both you and your FI are happy with... everyone else should be happy you''re happy.

If you have to take that room and those chairs, any way covers would work on them?
The Nos jardins area looks very nice... could be very non-stuffy yet elegant.

The photographer is amazing... I love his shots... love the photojournalistic style. I''m sure he can work with and around the environment to take beautiful shots... that''s what he''s paid to do. The shots on his website were not in the studio in a phony/perfect setting... he worked with what was there. I realllllllllly hope and pray we''ll be able to get a skilled, artistic, photojournalistic photographer- I don''t have a big budget so I''m worried I''ll get snapshots. That''s awesome you can splurge like that! I think it''s definitely worth it.

 

[Octavia]

Oh, allycat, I''m sorry you''re going through this. Deciding on a venue is such a difficult thing, and I can''t imagine how it would be if people weren''t wholly supportive of you.

A venue that was wishy-washy on price would NOT fly with me, no matter how much I loved the space. It''s unfortunate that the place you really love is doing this to you, but I wouldn''t be willing to sign a contract without knowing what the final cost would be, and I completely understand trying to be cost-conscious.

I don''t really have anything more to offer on de-fussing the room, but I just wanted to send you good vibes...I''m sure that something will work out for you!