Post-Dress Buying Remorse, HELP PLEASE

[dcgator]

Hey ladies,

So, I could really use your help here, what to do?

I bought my dress in late October, and haven''t seen it since. When I bought it, I had already looked at about 6 or 7 stores and seen lots of designers and styles. On the day that I got my dress I was looking at the "finalists" with my mom and sis. The dress that I ended up getting was not acutally one of the finalists, but still beautiful none the less. When I tried it on, I had the "moment" and everything. It was a POB-Platinum dress. It was a sample, but fit perfectly, off the rack. Since I couldn''t afford a normal price Platinum dress, I had kinda put it out of my head on previous trips, but being that it was about 60% off the list price, I couldn''t pass it up

.

Fast forward to now, three months later, and I am having major dress remorse. I don''t know if it''s b/c I haven''t seen it in a while, or if I have gained a few holiday pounds, if I am just freaking out or what, but now I don''t think I like my dress anymore. I find myself looking for other dresses and doubting my dress choice

.

Has anyone else experienced this? Please lend some words of wisdom if you have any. I am going to go to the store today and "visit" my dress as it is hanging out there till the wedding. But, I feel like I am freaking out more b/c I am afraid it won''t fit and that if I still am not in love, I might break down...

Any ideas? I would VERY much appreciate it.

Thanks!

 

[laurel25]

I think what you''re experiencing is perfectly normal. It''s hard to remember the emotion you felt when you had your "moment" with your dress originally, but trust me, when you see it again or when you put it on to actually walk down the aisle, you''ll definitely have another "moment"!

 

[bee*]

I think that once you try it on again you''ll fall in love with it once again. It''s very easy to doubt something when you only try it on once or twice and then don''t see it again for months.

 

[mrowmrowsmom]

Totally normal. Stick it out until you try the dress on again. If you are still unsure (which is unlikely), deal with it at that time. Platinum dresses are gorgeous, and I''m sure yours looks amazing.

 

[mrowmrowsmom]

Ok, I just saw where you posted your dress in the shoe-help topic, and I LOVE it. It''s soo pretty and very unique.

 

[musey]

Pretty much everyone goes through this. I think I even posted about it a couple of times. It should resolve when you get it on your little bod again.

And if it doesn''t, just remind yourself that even if it isn''t THE most perfect amazing beautiful wonderful yay wedding gown you could possibly have imagined, it''s still beautiful and will still be your wedding dress - which is what will make it "perfect" in the end, anyway.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Once you buy your dress you should never look at other dresses. What you''re feeling is totally normal...but do yourself a favor, trust your original gut reaction, your bridal-moment, and put down the bridal magazines.

 

[mintve]

i hope its normal, b/c it happened to me too

I hada sleepless night thinking about it and I worry that it won''t fit, etc. But, I pick it up this weekend and I am soooo excited!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Totally normal - seems to happen to almost every bride. I''d give it some time, get those holiday pounds off, try it on again, then decide how you feel

 

[modernsparkler]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Normal!!! I went through this and I thougth I had made a major mistake with my dress. It is hard not to second guess yourself when looking at bridal magazines because those dress ads are everywhere. Then my dress arrived and I put it on and fell in love all over again. Try to put those doubts out of your mind and bring over some of your closest friends, put on some rockin shoes, and try it on again. I bet you will be again thrilled with your decision.

 

[pocahontas]

First, I just have to say your dress is GORGEOUS! Now onto your original post, as others have stated I think what you''re feeling is pretty normal for a lot of brides. With so many beautiful gowns out there and on here to admire it''s no wonder more brides don''t end up being two or three dress brides. I think Bee''s right that it''s easy to doubt your choice when you''ve only tried the dress on once or twice and haven''t seen it since. I know it''s hard, but try not to let this stress you out too much. I''m sure you''ll fall in love with your dress all over again at your fitting.

ETA: We''d love to see pix of you in that beauty

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I have to agree with everyone else: This has GOT to be 100% normal bridal behavior!!! I posted a similar story a few days back & am already feeling better...

Your dress is gorgeous & you''ll look gorgeous in it. Make this your mantra. Say it over, and over, and over again.

And listen to Italia: DO NOT LOOK AT OTHER GOWNS ONLINE/IN MAGAZINES/IN STORES.... It will only make the doubt worse!

 

[LauraBabe08]

I sure hope its normal b/c I went through the same thing! I purchased my gown at the end of the summer/early fall and haven''t seen it since. I LOVED it so much, until a few weeks ago when I started looking at bride magazines and online at gowns. I started to HATE my dress and I literally cried for a day/night straight and was ready to purchase a new gown! I just got a call that my gown is in and ready for my first fitting! I am so excited to see it and I am remembering all the good feelings I felt when I wore it. I know that I will love it when I see it again (or I sure hope so!).

I saw your dress pics and it is gorgeous! Try to think about it too much and just remember the good feelings you had when you purchased it.

 

[misspinky]

I agree--feeling this way is totally normal. I would say that 95% of the time the feeling goes away when you get to try on your dress again. I was just in the 5% of people that couldn''t resolve the feeling and ended up with a different dress. I will add though that I loved the design of the dress I ended up wearing before I found the dress I bought, I just figured I couldn''t have it because it cost like $5000 (which I personally couldn''t justify paying for a dress). So, I bought one that I really liked, but didn''t necessarily have "the moment" in. Fastforward a few months and I kept looking at pictures of the other dress online every day (major no no, I know) and figured that it couldn''t be THAT hard to make. My mom and I ended up making it together and it ended up being exactly what I wanted.

Just a perspective from the flip side of the coin...I''m sure that you''ll fall madly in love with your dress again when you put it on.

 

[Sparkalicious]

DCGator - While I think that what you are experiencing is totally normal, I must say that I don''t think that you have anything to worry about AT ALL! There will always be other gorgeous dresses to admire as there are just so many to choose from but you have done well with your choice ... don''t torture yourself by continuing to search out an alternative - if you do it is inevitable that you will find something "better" - the whole grass being greener thing, right?

Your dress is all kinds of amazing spectacularess! I

that dress! It''s one of my favourites and I faithfully tote around a picture of it around with me in my wedding dress file. It is dramatic and glamorous!

You will be stunning as you venture down the while ... more than a few of your guests & your to be dh''s breath will be taken away.

Pretty please do me a favour and show me a picture of the back ... it looks incredible but I can''t find a close up of it!

How did your visit go? Still in love, right?

 

[cammy85]

I wanted to chime in and just agree with everyone that this is totally normal. I had it too with my dress. It''s a lot of money to spend on something you try on once or twice, than have to wait months for, and maybe get to try it on one or two more times before the wedding. I was terrified I should have gone with a simpler style, and that my dress didn''t fit ''me.'' And I never did have ''the moment.'' I found what was pretty, flattering and in my price range. It''s hard trying to make an emotional purchase like that with a completely ''logical'' checklist. I think it made it harder for me because there are so many fabulous dresses, and I liked ALL the ones I tried on (minus a few!) for different reasons. One of the other hard parts are the dresses I fell in love with, I would find them online, and discover they were at least 3 times what I spent on my dress. Not happening. We have a pretty tight budget.

I picked apart each of the dresses I tried on and FINALLY decided on one (my mom, FSIL and FMIL were all involved with the decision as well, so I was trying to please them and myself at the same time... I tihnk that was the most stressful part of all. I was a little scared to have a genuine reaction because I wanted to see how they reacted first!). i dreaded waiting for it to come in, I second guessed myself and doubted my decision - it didn''t help the pictures of it online weren''t all that flattering. Based on those pictures, I even started panicking about the train length, the pictures make it look so short!

I''m excited now because once it came in, and I tried it on, everything was the way it should have been. And as for the style, I finally decided I''m not going to worry any more about it. If I''m insecure about it, I don''t want that showing up on my wedding day. So I have learned how to rock the dress, to be confident and wear IT, and to not let it wear me.

Just be confident that you had ''that moment'' for a reason, and it will all come flooding back when you put it on and imagine your FH seeing you in it. You will totally rock your dress as well.

And what a GORGEOUS dress it is!

 

[dcgator]

UPDATE:

So I did go to the dress store last night and it ended up being a good trip

.

When I went there and tried it on, I wasn''t immediately sold. Plus, I was late (Stupid traffic) and the next appt was there, so I was kinda hurried. After changing back into my clothes, I was meandering through the other dresses, and was still not feeling fab. Another sales lady recognized me and asked hadn''t I already bought my dress here and I said yes. She asked why was I still looking and I told her my story. She thankfully agreed that I was not crazy and that I should indeed try on the other one or two dresses I was looking at to assure myself of my choice. So, I went into the back room and tried on a few others.

Thankfully, she was very right. After I tried on three others, then put my dress back on, I was back in love. I saw just how beautiful the beadwork was and how goregous I felt in the dress, and I was sold. The only down side was that I couldn''t quite get it zippered up, so that means getting my tushie back in shape, but I am already on it!

In any event, thanks ladies for all the support and stories. It definitely helps to know that what I was feeling is a common symptom and that I am not alone. Even my fiance was encouraging me to go back and try it on once in a while, so that was sweet of him.

.

Amber: I love your kitty! Is he/she a ragamuffin?

Pocahontas: Thanks for the dress compliments, I am going to try to put some pics up of the dress in a minute, but no promises as I am not 100% sure of my new camera phone

PilsnPinkysMom: I like the mantra, I will def keep it in my head, thanks

Sparkalicious: Thanks for the dress love. I really agree its a pretty dress and I hope you can find a sample to snatch too

. Pics to follow, although I didn''t get the full back, only the back train panel (one of two)

 

[dcgator]

This is one of the two back panels. The picture is upside down, but you can get the idea. The panel/train is about 3 feet long.

 

[dcgator]

This is the front of the bodice

 

[cocolaw]

I just searched for your dress, and WOW! I LOVE IT!! It''s traditional and classy, but also glamorous at the same time! I love it. I think you have NOTHING to worry about. I went through the same thing...I think I had buyers remorse because:
1. I bought mine off the rack (it happened to be the right shade of white, right fit, and nobody had tried it on yet)
2. It was discounted because I bought it off the rack
3. It was the first dress I tried, and I only went to one store
4. I bought mine in Alabama, live in NY, and have not even looked in stores in NY!

but it was SUCH an easy decision..just try to remind yourself how you felt and how you just sort of knew!

 

[dcgator]

The is a close up of the beadwork on the front

 

[cocolaw]

oops I wrote that at work, and then got distracted and then posted! Looks like you already have it taken care of!!

 

[Rhea]

I agree that almost everyone seems to go through this. Try it on again and you''ll be fine.

 

[teapot]

Date: 1/7/2009 7:08:25 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Once you buy your dress you should never look at other dresses. What you''re feeling is totally normal...but do yourself a favor, trust your original gut reaction, your bridal-moment, and put down the bridal magazines.

ditto.

Also, before I got my dress altered, I was thinking I had made a very expensive mistake, but once the dress was finished, I loved my dress, again.

 

[bee*]

Yay glad you love it again. It''s beautiful!!

 

[PrincessMiaPuff]

I went through this several times already once I do I get it out of the closet and give it a nice look and then I feel better.

 

[pocahontas]

Yah, I''m so happy you''re loving that fantabulous dress again

 

[Sparkalicious]

DCGator - It''s a beautiful dress .. So glad that you are in love with it again!!

 

[Nocturnius]

Oh yes, I had dress remorse big time. I just had to keep reminding myself that I picked it for a reason and surely I''d love it on the big day.

And I did.

Just wait it out. :3 It''ll be lovely.

 

[kellybelly]

remorse.
big time.
i went for my first fitting last night and although the dress is exactly what i was expecting, i was disappointed. why? because this entire time, i have wanted another dress. the main reason i chose the one i did-- money. this one was about $900, while my dreamy dress was about $3600. the money seemed like a big deal at the time of the decision. however, in retrospect, i should have thrown caution to the wind and gotten the one i really wanted.

and in case anyone might be wondering what type of dress a girl like me would dream about...
http://www.matthewchristopher.com/popup/2007/josephine_b.html

if you have already bought your gown, you''re probably in a situation where you just have to live with it. however, for anyone who is still shopping, PLEASE make sure that you pick what YOU want, even if other people like another dress, make sure you LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. i would hate to see anyone else feeling like i am feeling now.