Maid of Honor- one or two?

I have been postponing making a decision about whom to pick as maid of honor because I have two close friends, both of whom could in theory serve as maid of honor. I''ve have known them for about the same amount of years (over 15 years), both are back home where my destination wedding will be, and I love them both dearly. I could ask them both and have a maid of honor and a matron of honor but I''d rather not since my fiance will have his one best man and no one else, and I''d like to keep it even.

The role of maid of honor is more like a "godmother" role where I come from. This person is supposed to offer guidance and support throughout your marriage, so it''s more like a lifetime role than a wedding day role. The person is also supposed to be married because they are supposed to provide an example for us.

Well, between my two friends, there''s a married one and a single one. The married one''s marriage is not what I consider an example and she knows this. My single friend has been very supportive and understanding since I started dating my FI, I have confided in her more than on my other friend, who has two kids and a full schedule that keeps us from communicating as much as we''d like to.

Ever since there was a mention of an engagement, it has been my single friend who has withstood the barrage of panicked phone calls, e-mailed pictures of ring finalists, and who went dress shopping with me the day I found my dress. She already has someone who will make the cake for our wedding, a hairdresser, and now she''s into finding flowers. She has truly done more research than I have and she does this out of the goodness of her heart, it is fun for her and a big help for me since I cannot be there to research in person.

So I am thinking I''m going to ask her to be my MOH, she is not the traditional "godmother" but I know she will stand by me come hell or highwater, get me through the wedding weekend in one piece and sane, and be there for me from there after.

I sense that my married friend thinks that I''m asking her because she is the married one and because we have known each other longer, and have recently become "comadres" when I baptized her little boy. I have to break the news to her and I''m not sure how to do it without hurting her feelings. I want her little girl, whom I adore, to be my flower girl, and I want my friend to be part of the wedding, most likely in a hostess role. Most of all, I want her to be happy.

Should I have a maid of honor and a matron of honor so that they are both happy? If not, any ideas as to how to break the news to my married friend? I''m so not looking forward to this .

I also posted this on the LIW forum, my apologies for crossposting.

Regalada