shape
carat
color
clarity

Is this annoying or am I being a baby?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

soontowed

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
107
My future sister in law showed me the dress she plans to wear to my wedding and it is the same color as my bridesmaid dresses. She knew those were my colors and even said "oh it''s the same as your colors." I don''t know about the rest of you but personally I always wear colors as far away from the wedding colors as possible. I am annoyed and think it''s rather rude. Am I being a bridezilla?
 

cindygenit

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
1,668
Hmmm can you explain to me the reasoning behind your thinking? I never really thought about it, and I don't see why wearing the same colour dress as the wedding colour would really bother me.

If you're concerned her dress will detract from the bridal party (esp bridesmaids dress), don't be. Everyone will know that the BM dresses are special because they are standing next to you. She will just be a guest in a pretty dress.
2.gif


Its a minor minor thing.

ETA: Maybe she's trying to tell you to include her in the bridal party?
 

violet3

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
3,793
I don't think you are being a bridezilla, but I am pretty sure this would not bother me at all. I personally think the only person that is really remembered (color wise) at a wedding is the bride. If your future in law is in the same color as the bridesmaids, I am pretty sure no one else in attendance of the wedding would ever notice. I actually had a friend who wore the same color as the bridesmaids by accident once - she felt worried about it, but none of the other guests (myself included) would have ever noticed at all!
2.gif
 

ice-queen

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 5, 2008
Messages
150
I don't think you are being a bridezilla- but I do think you need to look at the situation from your future sister-in-laws perspective...maybe she feels left out that you have not included her in your bridal party (and ultimately HER BROTHER'S WEDDING), and this is her way of making herself feel tied in with the wedding...Or maybe she assumed that because she is the groom's sister, that she was supposed to purchase a dress in the wedding colors.

Honestly, most people probably won't notice. And the people who do notice will probably assume her dress was meant to tie in with the wedding colors---and is it really such a bad thing if people think that??? On a positive note, the family pics will look more cohesive with everyone in the same color scheme :)

(I am assuming this is the groom's sister...if not, my response may not apply)
 

Diva0413

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
747
Question: Is there a reason why she's not in the bridal party? It sounds questionable to me, but don't worry about it.
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
I would be annoyed only if: she was trying to be catty cos you didn''t make her a BM or some similar crazy notion.

Maybe she didn''t even give it a second though, who knows she may have deliberately got that colour as she thought it would go well in the family pics? Who knows.

Don''t let it worry you though, no-one will even notice!
 

LilyKat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Messages
835
I would be a tiny bit irritated but then forget about it. It will be pretty clear she''s not a BM - and even if it''s not, who really cares?

I don''t think you''re being a baby, but I wouldn''t waste any mental energy on it.
 

D2B

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
1,109
OK, in all honesty no - one will notice or care other than you - I dont mean this in a hrash way, but those sort of details, really only are a concern to the bride to be and maybey her mother.

A similiar color is not the same dress or style - the other point is that she is family, so maybey she didnt want to look too casual or she wanted to be tied in to the colour sheme, either way you will look increadibly petty if you say something, unless she has copied the BM style exactly , and even then you are best letting her do her thing and have guests reach their own conclusions.

I would be irritated if she bought exactly the same dress, but there are likely to be other guests in similiare colours, especially if it is a classic or fashionalble colour.
 

Delster

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
2,231
Date: 9/8/2009 3:12:46 AM
Author: honey22
I would be annoyed only if: she was trying to be catty cos you didn''t make her a BM or some similar crazy notion.


Maybe she didn''t even give it a second though, who knows she may have deliberately got that colour as she thought it would go well in the family pics? Who knows.

Don''t let it worry you though, no-one will even notice!


This was my first thought too
35.gif
 

Londongirl1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
695
Date: 9/8/2009 3:12:46 AM
Author: honey22
I would be annoyed only if: she was trying to be catty cos you didn''t make her a BM or some similar crazy notion.

Maybe she didn''t even give it a second though, who knows she may have deliberately got that colour as she thought it would go well in the family pics? Who knows.

Don''t let it worry you though, no-one will even notice!
Ditto
36.gif
No-one even notices all the stuff that brides can get ''anxious'' about'' e.g. centre pieces (who remembers them???)
 

ficklefaye

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
1,179
in my family, people like to wear colors to match the theme color, so i''m used to it, i think everyone just wants to feel like they match in photos, like my auntie wouldn''t want to be the only one wearing green with my red themed wedding
3.gif
 

Loves Vintage

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 19, 2007
Messages
4,568
What color are the dresses?

I''m sorry, but I do think you are being a bit overly sensitive here. I don''t think you can claim the color of the dresses in the bridal party too! Be glad she is not wearing white and move on. I would chalk it up to coincidence.
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
I don''t think your FSIL is being rude at all. It sounds like she''s excited for your wedding, and enough so to care about what she''s wearing and to want to show it to you ahead of time.

It''s one thing to be upset if a guest wears white or black to your wedding, but it''s a lot to expect them to stay away from an otherwise acceptable wedding guest color just because you chose it for your bridesmaids.

I sincerely hope that you are so elated on your actual wedding day that you don''t allow petty things like this bother you one bit. What your FSIL wears is not important at all in the grand scheme of things.
 

charbie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2008
Messages
2,512
i''m sure we don''t understand the relationship/context here, but i think it''s nice that she was being thoughtful and wanted something that would go along with the theme here.

however, i do have to say that if it was like, a special color from david''s bridal, and all of the bridesmaids had the same material, same dress but maybe different neckline, i could see where you''d be a little mad about the situation if she looks as though she was trying to break into the wedding party.

assuming that isn''t the case, enjoy the fact that in the pictures, you won''t have a clashing color blaring out from the rest of the pack! i can only imagine in my mom or FMIL picked a lavender dress that didn''t match the burgundy/green/orange theme...yuck!
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
I don''t think I''ve ever considered weddding colors at all when selecting what to wear to a wedding.

It''s certainly not worth getting upset about; in 3 months, 6 months, a year after your wedding it absolutely will not matter.
 

Lilac

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
1,926
I have to agree with everyone else - I don''t think you''re being a bridezilla, but I definitely don''t think it''s something to be upset about. It wouldn''t bother me at all. I doubt it''s something you''ll notice on your wedding day, and I doubt it''s something you''ll really remember afterwards.
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
4,125
I''ve had a bride ask me before not to wear the color the bridesmaids were wearing (I thought it was a little weird, but it was her day, so I obliged), but if you didn''t make that request, I''d just let it go. And the plus side: she''ll look great in family photos! One less thing for you to worry about
1.gif
.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,508
I know a lot of people that like to dress in the wedding''s colors, as a tribute to the bride... as in, oh your favorite color is red... I''ll wear red!

I had a lot of people show up in green at my wedding, and it was cool! Green ties, and dresses, it was pretty cool! I love the color green, and it was great to see so many people don my favorite color, and one that doesn''t make it''s way out that often!

I don''t think she''s trying to be catty, at all. I think it is a known fact not to wear a "bridal" dress (white/offwhite/cream....) to a wedding, but I haven''t seen anything to not match the wedding party.. so I think you''re being a bit mean. She was excited about your day, and probably thought you''d be thrilled too. She probably thought it was neat she found a dress to match your girls... and just wants to be apart of your special day. It isn''t like she''ll be photobombing your photos.. or the guests will think she is a bridesmaid. In fact, maybe she wants to be guest book attendant, or some smaller role of involvement? She is your FUTURE SIL... maybe she just thought you''d like that she''d match in the family photos? That way she''s color coordinated?

I think you are being a bridezilla, and I wouldn''t say anything to her. The wedding day is a great way to blend the families... and you''d want to start off on the right foot. I don''t know the history of you and your FSIL, so there may be some drama there --- but honestly, I wouldn''t let it bother you.
 

TooPatient

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
9,984
She probably didn''t even realize at the time she purchased it. Even if she knew the color it might not have been something she was thinking about. (when I buy a dress I am more focused on how it looks on me -- is it too short, too long, too formal, too informal, too pleated, too tight, too loose....)

Of course we don''t know about your relationship with her so it is hard to say what she was thinking.


Just a little side story:
I went to a wedding a couple of years ago where the MIL bought a white dress and could have passed as the bride. And the SIL was in the same color and similar style to the maid of honor.

I noticed at the time, but all I remember now (except when I specifically try to remember them) is how beautiful the bride was, how amazing the flowers were, and how nice the cake looked.
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
there might be other people in the same or similiar colors at the wedding or reception. It''s not worth worrying about, brides have too much to worry about as is!
2.gif
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Date: 9/8/2009 11:07:52 AM
Author: Haven
I don''t think your FSIL is being rude at all. It sounds like she''s excited for your wedding, and enough so to care about what she''s wearing and to want to show it to you ahead of time.


It''s one thing to be upset if a guest wears white or black to your wedding, but it''s a lot to expect them to stay away from an otherwise acceptable wedding guest color just because you chose it for your bridesmaids.


I sincerely hope that you are so elated on your actual wedding day that you don''t allow petty things like this bother you one bit. What your FSIL wears is not important at all in the grand scheme of things.

100% DITTO! Well put Haven!
 

D&T

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
12,503
Date: 9/8/2009 6:28:25 AM
Author: Delster

Date: 9/8/2009 3:12:46 AM
Author: honey22
I would be annoyed only if: she was trying to be catty cos you didn''t make her a BM or some similar crazy notion.


Maybe she didn''t even give it a second though, who knows she may have deliberately got that colour as she thought it would go well in the family pics? Who knows.

Don''t let it worry you though, no-one will even notice!


This was my first thought too
35.gif
same here. For our wedding, our family asked us what colors we were using, so that they can get close to the colors as much as possible.
 

lucyandroger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
1,557
Date: 9/8/2009 12:26:53 AM
Author:soontowed
My future sister in law showed me the dress she plans to wear to my wedding and it is the same color as my bridesmaid dresses. She knew those were my colors and even said ''oh it''s the same as your colors.'' I don''t know about the rest of you but personally I always wear colors as far away from the wedding colors as possible. I am annoyed and think it''s rather rude. Am I being a bridezilla?
Yes. You are lucky to have a FSIL that is excited about your wedding and took your wedding colors into consideration when picking out a dress. Why would you want her in a color that is "as far away from the wedding colors as possible''? Then she would clash with everyone else in the photos. If you wanted her to wear a certain color, you should have asked her to do so well in advance of her picking out a dress, otherwise how is she supposed to read your mind?

If you read this much into a simple thing like dress color, then you''re setting yourself up for a very difficult relationship with the in-laws.
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
Messages
12,586
How similar is her dress style to the bridesmaids style? If she bought an almost identical dress I would think she was trying to get in on the bridesmaid act. If its nothing like them maybe she is just trying to match in for photos.
 

MagsyMay

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
861
Hmm, I''ve never heard of it being poor etiquette to wear a color similar to the bridesmaids'' dresses. White/Ivory, yes. Also have heard no black, although TONS do...

I often see mother-of-brides and mother-of-grooms wearing similar shades/variations on the bridesmaid dresses for picture purposes, and I think your FSIL is thinking it will look best for your posed family pictures.

If you''re really bothered by it, could you bring it up to her and ask if she has another dress she can wear?
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top