Inviting Exes to your wedding?

[trillionaire]

Did anyone invite any of their exes to their wedding?

I only have one ex, and we dated for 4-5 months when I was 18, it was very PG and innocent (literally only kissing), so nothing to really get bent out of shape about. (by contrast, SO and I are about to celebrate our 6th anni!) My ex and I are casual friends now, we talk infrequently (a few times a year), but we keep in touch via FB, and we will do lunch/dinner if we are in the same town, much like I would with any of my other college friends. I know he WANTS to come to our wedding (he has said so), he's known FI and I for 9 years now, and we were in organizations together in college, and he and FI are in the same fraternity. He and FI are cordial, but not at all close.

Now, we are just throwing a party/reception when we return from eloping, and presumably it will be full of people who we are friends with from college. I'd be happy to have my ex attend, as I see it more as a big college get together than anything else, and it would feel like I was singling him out to NOT invite him. I suspect that FI would be indifferent, I'm just not sure the level of appropriateness? My close friends know that we dated, but most people that we went to college with didn't even know, and like I said, this was not some torrid love affair, more like puppy-love, lol.

So anyway, I guess I will ask FI how he feels about it, but I was wondering what other people have done? If he's not there, I wouldn't personally notice, but not inviting him intentionally JUST because we dated seems to make a big deal of something that is not. Among our college friends, he would be conspicuously absent...

FI has no exes, so that's a moot point

 

[geckodani]

My Ex, who happens to be DH''s best friend, was in my limo on the way to our wedding.

Telling hilarious scuba diving mishap stories to keep me laughing.

It all depends on the situation I think. In yours, I don''t think it would be innapropriate at all, as long as you''re both comfortable.

 

[cocolaw]

i''m not going to. i have an ex who is no threat, at all, to my fiance.....based on conversations that we have had he might not be interested in women. and we talk from time to time, i send him wedding idea pictures even, because he loves to see it all! however, i''m not inviting him. i just feel like a wedding celebration, whether it be an engagement party, actual wedding, or an informal reception after the wedding should not include any men from your past. but this is so very personal, and it sounds like your guy is no threat to anyone! do whatever you and your fiance feel is right. i''m sure you will get a million opinions on this one!

 

[LadyBlue]

To my wedding I invited my ex from High school, we just date for a couple of month, we were not in love and he was my best friend for years after that.

I did not invited my exes that I dated for years and we were in love. That said, all depends of how close were you with them. If you saw yourself getting married with that guy, I will totally not invite him. If you just hang out with him, and your FH does not care about the guy, I will invite him.

 

[LilyKat]

I would say it depends on what he is to you now. Do you think of him as a good friend who you just happened to date for a while? If so, I don''t see a problem. Or do you think of him first and foremost as your ex? I would hesitate if that was the case.

 

[mrscushion]

No way I''d invite any of my exes.

 

[D&T]

DH invited his ex, and I only invited a few of mine and two came, I guess I was selective. Depends on your relationship really.

 

[Haven]

No, but the only ex with whom I''m still in contact is an ex-fiance, so that changes things, doesn''t it?

I have invited this ex over to big parties at our home since our wedding, but I didn''t even consider inviting him to the wedding. We''re not close enough for that, we only invited close friends.

My feeling is that if you have to ask, then he''s probably not close enough to be invited, but we''re all different.

 

[ficklefaye]

my ex and i are still good friends, but i wouldn''t invite him because it would just be really awkward for me

 

[panda08]

Our situations are remarkably similar... ex from HS when I was 18... we''re still friends but hang out and talk a couple times a year, all of which FI is aware of. FI and I are also planning on doing a post DW dinner. I''m gonna invite my friend. Heck, I already told him I will and I haven''t even mentioned it to FI yet! That water is SO far under the bridge. Plus, I know FI wouldn''t give two hoots about it.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I did. My ex and I are still very close. We speak on a regular basis and FI has no problem with it.

I was with my ex for a long time and eventually I realized I loved him but wasn''t in love with him. He felt similarly about me. So, after a brief period where we didn''t really talk because we needed to reestablish ourselves as individuals, we reconnected and became very good friends. He has attended may events since FI and I have been together - including several parties in our home and has been nothing but supportive. I would be sad if he was not there to share in this very special day.

 

[Lilac]

I don''t have experience with this because DH was my first boyfriend, but in your situation I don''t see why it should be a problem.

I think you should definitely discuss it with your FI first (like you said you would) and if your fiance doesn''t mind if the ex is invited and you want him to be invited and you''re all friendly now, I think you should go ahead and invite him! If it were a serious relationship or a long-term relationship I would think twice about it, but in this particular case I don''t see why it would be a problem.

 

[soontowed]

I''m inviting my ex but we broke up about 4 years before I even met FI. He is a very important part of my life and think of him as a great friend not an ex. He was a good friend durin my dad''s illness and a break up that left me terribly heart broken.

FI has an ex but I''m not letting him invite her. I know it sounds like a double standard but there is a whole story behind it that almost ended our relationship so she''s not welcome. His ex before her is coming and I''m totally okay with it.

Honestly I think it depends on the relationship that ensued after the break up.