We are starting to argue over the invitation list already, and the wedding is not even until October of 2006. Initially my FI and I agreed that we would only invite the people we really want to attend the wedding. This really makes a lot of sense as we are having a destination wedding. We were talking about those that would stand up for us, and I suggested his sister could stand up for me if sge was interested. So, he says – “What about your sister?” and I say “She’s not invited.” And the argument started. Although it may seem odd that I do not want to invite my own sister to our wedding, I definitely do not want her there. She’s a real problem, and tends to do her best to spoil things for others. She is abusive, manipulative and mean. She has caused a lot of trouble for me and others in the past. I fail to see why I “have” to invite her when I absolutely do not want her anywhere near me (or anyone I care about for that matter) on this most special of days, simply because she is related to me by blood. No “real” sister would do the sort of things she has done and continues to do, and she would find some sort of way to spoil the day.
I get a lot of guff from my rather large family over my refusal to have anything to do with my sister. When I say to them, if this was a man in my life doing these things to me, you would have stepped in long ago and tried to get me away from the abuse. So, what’s so different about avoiding an abusive person just because she’s related to me by blood? At which point, they usually snap out of it and admit, somewhat reluctantly, that when expressed like that I have a point.
Believe me, disassociating myself from my sister was not easy. Because this decision was so serious, and life altering, I sought professional advice. I did not just arrive at this decision through spite, but through years of hard experience with this woman. She has not been part of my life for years, and it is a decision I do not regret in the least. I believe my sister needs professional help. She is miserable in life and insists on making those around her suffer.
I can see that as we proceed through our engagement, this issue will be raised by my family quite frequentlly (14 surviving aunts and uncles on my mother’s side, and 6 on my father’s, my mother is no longer with us). I would like to have something to say to them, and to my FI, that will not result in further discord. Other than “It’s our wedding, we will do what we please.”
Please help. I do not want to deliberately upset or hurt people over this.
and they would inflate the guest list WAY too much and 2) They are all annoying and have no class so they would really bring down the quiality of the day. When my sister got married one of them was in their early teens, and she showed up to the chuch in her CHEERLEADING outfit. This is just a mild example of the things that they do.. They are all extremely dysfunctional and I just don''t WANT them there!
300x240.png)