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Interfaith couple and teaching guests the HORA

mayachel

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The Hora(h) is a traditional folk Israeli folk dance that is common at weddings. My fiance is Jewish and most of his family and friends will have no problem jumping up once the music starts. Despite feeling confident in my own ability, I know most of my family will likely feel lost about what is going on, as it gets moving pretty swiftly. I've just spent the last hour scouring the internet for written up instructions, and feel like there is very little out there. Have any of you seen or come across a cute way of introducing both the concept and "what to do" for guests ahead of time? I am thinking of something that could be sent out via e-mail or put in out of town bags.
 

slg47

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hehehe! My wedding will also have a hora! I think most people sort of jump in, but hmm...what is a cute way to introduce it? Maybe have some cards at the tables explaining the significance and/or steps? Or you could have your DJ/band leader/someone else give a small intro?

Also, you may want to pick who is going to hold your chair IN ADVANCE :) have fun!!!
 

mayachel

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Sig-You are so right about picking people in advance. AND letting them know front or back. We've been to a few weddings where it always seemed the shorter men lifting were in the front, with the taller men in the back! Leading to a very precarious leaning bride or groom as the energy increased!
 

yssie

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Oh us too!! FI is Jewish, and I know all of my family will be completely lost!


We actually hired a DJ who had done both Jewish and Indian weddings and asked him to do an organised 'intro/teach the dances' at the reception. A bit bar mitzvah-ey, but hey if it gets people up and moving and mingling.. :halo:

BIG ditto to picking the primary chair-holder and telling them beforehand, too!
 

mayachel

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Here are the best written directions I've found. They came from "love to know"

The most basic version of the hora (besides simply walking in a circle) is to do alternating grapevine steps while holding the hands of the people on either side of you in a circle. Circles of ten to twenty dancers work well, especially for beginners. A grapevine step is one in which your feet weave across each other. Since you are moving in a circle, you have to step sideways; in order to make this more interesting than just shuffling one foot to the side and bringing the other foot to meet it, the hora utilizes the cross step of the grapevine. Cross your left foot in front of your right foot, uncross by stepping to the right on your right foot, then repeat, but crossing your left foot behind your right foot this time instead of in front. This step goes on as long as the circle continues in the same direction; if the circle reverses direction, you will cross your right foot in front and in back of the left one.

The hora also frequently includes a movement of the circle expanding and contracting. In order to do this, all dancers simply raise their arms over their heads (instead of stretching them out to the sides) without letting go of their neighbors' hands and walking towards the middle of the circle instead of to the side. This is easily established in the music, and a handful of experienced dancers in the circle can lead everyone through this part. Adding kicks to the hora is another way to provide variety. Instead of your fourth step in each grapevine being a simple step, you can hop onto the foot or kick that foot and then land on it. While this may sound inordinately difficult, when you are dancing in a group that is using this variation, you will automatically fall into the step by virtue of the circle carrying you around.
 

Haven

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I think it's super sweet that you're worried about teaching people the hora, but seriously, it is SUPER EASY. I really don't think you have to worry about having written directions.

Everyone who wants to get involved will jump in and catch on. You really just move around in a circle and do the grapevine step, and every once in a while you run toward the center of the circle with your arms raised and your mouth open! We had a lot of non-Jews at our wedding and they happily danced the hora without a hitch. Seriously. Not a problem at all.

We've been to many Greek and Serbian weddings and they didn't even have to give us instructions on how to dance and their dances are COMPLICATED. You just jump in and do what everyone else is doing, and even if you don't do it right, you'll still have fun.
 

mayachel

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Thanks for the vote of confidence Haven! I know if there is a way to over think something, I will. Glad to hear that yours went well and very good point about Greek weddings!

Can you tell I'm the first in the family to marry "outside" the religon? I just know we have had *lots* of commentary during the planning stages about what constitutes a *jewish* wedding vs. a *what they are used to* wedding, and really want people to not be busy keeping track of how many from this side vs. that and just jump in and celebrate with us. I don't want them to sit it out because they aren't comfortable jumping in.
 

slg47

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ditto what haven says...people just jump in (and if they get a little lost that can be fun too!)
 

Haven

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I think that's where the bridesmaids come in. Ask them to encourage people to jump in when the hora comes on. I know whenever I'm a bridesmaid I work extra hard to make sure that the guests are having a good time and dancing. I bet a little encouragement from your friends will get your side up and grapevining!
 

Lozza

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I'm sure everyone will figure out the steps, just make sure they feel welcome to join in.

My partner is Jewish and I'm not, and I never join in at his family events because everyone knows I'm not Jewish and I feel uncomfortable about it (no one ever invites me to join in either!). So maybe just a quick announcement by the MC before it starts inviting everyone to join in wouldn't go astray.
 

mayachel

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Thanks Haven-I know my bridesmaids will be willing and able.

Lozza-I'm so sorry to hear! Next time you should definitely just jump right in. It is a cultural related and not religious related dance and is so much fun to get carried away with. And know you've got some directions for it ;-)
 

Haven

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I've had an Israeli dance song in my head ever since reading this thread! It isn't the hora, but I cannot get it out of my head!
 

slg47

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ditto-just jump in!

i'm the non-jew in our relationship :D
 

swimmer

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Hava Negila, Hava Negila!

Ditto Haven! Everyone should be encouraged to jump in, but a circle dance with arm raising is not that challenging (the fancy footwork is optional). DH and I are both Jews, but most of our friends and some of our family are not. 200ish mostly Southern Baptists, Hindus, Catholics, and Atheists danced the Hora at our very southern wedding. My favorite photo is of a tall Catholic cousin holding my hand to keep me in the chair while African-American girlfriends from high school held up my DH.

YES YES YES ask big dudes to be quick about getting in there to help. I've seen one bride get dropped because the crowd there was elderly... and one who was lifted in a folding chair had her platinum eternity band squished. So chair selection and getting folks to lift is crucial. I doubt very much that there will be enough time for lifters to assume assigned positions (unless you can slow the Jews down from dancing and have a really awk pause in the music...) but I assigned different people (of all faiths) to lift my dad 230lbs and mom 98lbs. For some reason everyone wanted Mom's chair!

Mazel Tov, but don't sweat the Hora! (In Argentina they just throw the bride and groom in the air! made me glad for the chair when we were at a wedding there.)

Mmmm, Ketubah.com just emailed me that they are having a sale! (not sure why they think I want another one...) Other random and hopefully not intrusive thoughts: You might want to put in your program about when the glass is broken everyone shouts Mazel Tov! and explain the circling and ring ceremony if you are doing any of that. Just so everyone feels included. Lots of us posted what we put in our programs to explain Jewish weddings a while back. I'm having a hard time searching 2.0 but I bet you are more clever than I am! Oh, and are you going to order yarmulkes? We saved our leftovers and everyone wore them to our son's bris recently. It was just a lovely reminder of our wedding.
 

mayachel

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Swimmer-Thanks for the heads up on the program information. That is still on the to do list. I thought the same thing when i saw that ketubah email! Ours JUST arrived a week ago. We decided not to hand out yalmukes because fiance thought it would confuse people into expecting a more religious ceremony than we are having, however I totally teared up reading about your family's choice to wear them to your son's bris. How sentimental and loving.
 

RebeccaLynn

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We're also having an interfaith wedding and i said i was going to give FI's family a hora crash course before the big day!

I have been to a TON of interfaith weddings though, and I find that most people will just jump in-- typically they'll just sort of dance in a circle, not paying much attention to the appropriate "grapevine" steps, but ehhh if you're all having fun, who cares if they're doing it right!

My more important suggestion-- request to have a couple arm chairs on hand, they're way safer than the typical banquet chairs when you're getting thrown around up there!
 

MissMina

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You know your friends and relatives best
Not all guests are the "just jump in" kind
Some need a little encouragement
I think a brief tutorial perhaps by the MC the bridesmaids and groomsmen
followed by an invitation to join the circles would not be out of place.
 

mayachel

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Thanks for the votes of confidence MissMina and RebeccaL. Fresh off of a wedding weekend, it was interesting to observe that things can turn into a muddled crowd even when 90% of the people do know the steps, or generally what is supposed to happen. Multiple times outer circles would start, just to stop a few feet later. The small inner circle of the bride and groom were having a blast dancing, but without strong personalities to take the lead, it seemed like everyone would give up and just start clapping. (My fiance and sil tried to get it moving! I swear!) Who would have thought? So we are definitely talking it up to a few of the more out going guests with the hopes that between enthusiasm and a little leadership ours will get off the ground.
 
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