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I''m at a loss, but could use some prayers...

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fatafelice

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I don''t really know how to write everything that is in my head right now, but I need some sort of outlet and you girls have been so supportive that I hope you don''t mind "listening."

Mike''s mom had a massive heart attack yesterday. She is in the ICU, on a ventilator. As of this morning, the neurologist didn''t sound very optimistic, meaning that he thinks that her brain was deprived of oxygen too long and that she has lost too much function. He said that, at this point, he cannot reccommend that she has the heart bypass and valve replacement surgery that she would otherwise need.

This is somewhat unexpected, as his mom had very recently been in to the hospital for some problems that they thought were blood pressure-related, but she passed her stress test, etc., and they sent her home. Apparently, she has not been feeling well at all for the last few weeks, but she wouldn''t tell any of the kids, and wouldn''t listen to her sister and friend when they told her to move up her appt. with the cardiologist.

Mike and his family are understandably devastated. To make matters worse, his brother-in-law''s father was just diagnossed (Monday) with advanced and inopperable cancer.

And, as many of you are aware, we are supposed to be getting married next weekend. I''ve been trying really hard to focus on his mom and family and not think about the wedding, but I have contacted my venue and my florist, and have to let them know by Friday what we are going to do. Mike and I haven''t really had much chance to talk, but I am opperating on the assumption that we will not be getting married on the 30th. We could postpone until later in the summer, but there are no guarantees that that will actually solve anything, as his mother''s and BIL''s father''s health are so uncertain.

I don''t know what to do, or think, at this point. I''m not really looking for advice, since I doubt anyone else will know what to do any better than I do, but if you have some, I am open to it.

And if you could send out some prayers for my FI''s mom and his family, it would mean a lot to me and to him.
 

Love in Bloom

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I''m sorry to hear that FF. Sending warm thoughts and wishes your way. Hang in there...
 

allycat0303

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Fatafelice,

I am so, so sorry. There is nothing I can possibly say that is enough in this situation. I am sending my prayers to you and your family. Take care of yourself during this difficult time.
 

Independent Gal

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Warmest thoughts and prayers and copious hugs at this difficult time. So sorry to hear this!
 

jcrow

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oh, fata...
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i''m so sorry to hear this. please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this truly difficult time.
 

Tacori E-ring

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sending you all positive thoughts...
 

So_happy

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I am so absolutley sorry to hear that you and your family are going thru this. Just......really......I am sending supportive hugs and prayers your way.
 

emilina22

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you and your FI''s family are in my prayers...i do hope that things turn out for the better....
 

surfgirl

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Thinking of you and your family...

fata,I know it's alot to think about what with the wedding in a week's time and all. Do you have a wedding coordinator? If so, why not alert her to the current situation and ask her guidance? I'm sure wedding planner/vendors have dealt with this situation at some point in their careers and perhaps they have special clauses for such cases, in which case, you knowing that might ease your stress...
 

robbie3982

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Fata, I''m so sorry to hear about what''s going on. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

KimberlyH

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fatafelice,

I am so very sorry for you, Mike and the rest of your loved ones.

My MIL, who was 86 and had late-stage Alzheimer''s when we were married last year, fell and broke her back in three spots two weeks before our wedding. Once admitted to the hospital she refused to eat and became more delisional, it was a really difficult decision regarding whether or not we would postpone the wedding. I am sharing this to express my empathy as I know how hard it is to experience something so difficult during a time that is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness.

My thoughts are with you and yours.
 

enbcfsobe

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I am so sorry that you are going through this. Your FI is lucky to have someone supportive and caring to be with him during this time. I am sure that your families will support you whatever your decision about your wedding. If you are having a religious ceremony, it might be appropriate to consult with your officiant about how to proceed -- clergy of all sorts are usually very helpful during such times, especially since other family members'' thoughts are elsewhere. Sending good, healthy, supportive vibes to you...
 

FireGoddess

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Oh Fata, what blows fate has dealt you guys in short time. I am so sorry to hear and prayers and positive thoughts are going out to all of you. I haven''t a clue what I would do in your place. I''m also sending out wishes that whatever the right decision is comes to you clearly. *hugs*
 

Skippy123

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I pray you know what do in regards to the wedding. I am so so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

Ellen

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Gosh, I''m so sorry.


Saying prayers for you and the family, and for peace in making a decision.
 

Kaleigh

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Oh my, so very sorry to hear this Fata. Prayers outgoing. And a big hug to you!!!
 

monarch64

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Fatafelice, so very sorry to hear of your situation and the illnesses in your family. Big hugs and positive thoughts outgoing...

My mother became terribly ill the night before we got married; I had to take her to the ER and she was there all night, we didn''t think she would be able to make it to the wedding at all, but she did end up coming--with one navy heel and one black, ha--she still had her IV band-aid on her hand and it was a very scary time for me. We went ahead with our wedding, and then left for our honeymoon. Two days into it, I got a call from her while we were in a cab in Vegas and she told me my dad had been admitted to the hospital for surgery to remove most of his intestines, colon, and gallbladder due to colorectal cancer. They had never told us that he''d even been diagnosed, so it came as a total shock to me and DH. We continued on with our honeymoon and then came back to visit them both. I asked her why she didn''t tell me and she said there would''ve been no point to postponing the wedding, anything can happen at anytime no matter how you try to plan things when it comes to illness or disease. Dad went through a few more surgeries that year and after one he went into cardiac arrest and was gone for over 30 minutes. He was in ICU and on life support for more than a week and they didn''t think he would live...that was almost 3 years ago and he is still with us today, and currently in remission. Miracles do happen, fata, don''t lose hope for your MIL or Mike''s BIL''s dad. Try to stay positive and remember that your wedding will be a point of joy and light in the midst of great sadness, it will probably bring everyone in your families closer together and what better way to have everyone there with you while you''re both in need of emotional support.
 

snlee

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fafa, I''m so so sorry to hear this. My heart dropped when I read your post.
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My thoughts are with you, your FI''s mom, and family. *hugs*
 

IrishAngel7982

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I''m so sorry fata. Mike''s family will be in my prayers and I hope you receive some guidance about what to do with your wedding plans. Good luck sweetie.
 

canuk-gal

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HI:

Oh FF, how sad you must feel! Wishing you/yours hope and courage during this difficult time.

kind regards--Sharon
 

dmamsquared

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If you are near a teaching hospital. metropolitan city, etc. , consider getting a second opinion. The larger hospitals will perform the more risky operations. That''s a fact. Just a thought. Also, is this coma an induced one? They may be giving her drugs so that the swelling in the brain reduces. When swelling reduces, brain function improves, all with time. Keep the faith. Stay positive. This is all bittersweet and that''s such a shame for you. I think you should continue with your plans. It may look grim, but keep the faith. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

My mother''s cancer has returned after 18 years. When I first heard this, I had it in my mind that she was ready to die. Not so. After several months and several tumors she is alive and in very good spirits with a decent quality of life. My sister''s MI, on the other hand, a much younger woman, took a break from her cleaning job, went out to the car, and died! You never know......
 

Selkie

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I''m so, so sorry, Fata. My thoughts are with you and your family.
 

LaurenThePartier

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FF, I am so very sorry, and will keep you, Mike, and your family in my prayers. My heart, too, fell into my stomach when I read your post, dear.
 

labbielove

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Oh Fata,
My heart goes out to you and Mike, with all sincerity.
When I read the words that she hadn''t been feeling well and not told anyone, the familiarity of that situation made my stomach drop because my own dear mother was the same way, and it pains me to think of people we love suffering in silence.

SPeaking from experience, if I were you I would postpone the wedding, allowing you to focus on family right now- and yes, while postponing until later in the summer wouldn''t solve anything in terms of making Mike''s mom well, it will allow you both the opportunity to focus on the situation at hand, and then to put full focus on your wedding celebration. Once you know more what is going on with her you can make your decision as to when to reschedule, but at least taking next weekend out of the equation will take that stress/uncertainty out of the mix now.

If there was anything I could do in terms of contacting vendors, guests, etc. I would in a heartbeat. I know how hard these types of situations can be. I am praying that you have dear friends/siblings/family members who can take that part of the legwork out of the equation for you and contact who needs to be contacted,etc. so that you can be there for Mike.

I will keep you all in my prayers, please keep us posted.
Labbie
 

RoseAngel04

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Oh no, I am so terribly sorry for your current circumstances. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers...(HUGS) my heart also sank when I read your post...
 

AmberWaves

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Oh my, fata, I am so so sorry. I don''t really have any advice, but please know that I am thinking of you and sending my deepest sympathies for your families. Goodness, I am hoping for the best for you and Mike. I''m sorry.
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TravelingGal

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I am very sorry to hear this...please accept my best thoughts and vibes to your family.
 

therighttime

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I''m so sorry for you and your fiance''s family... and each of you will be in my prayers.

I just wanted to add that when I read your post I was impressed with the selflessness you expressed. At a time when some brides are so focused only on themselves, you truly seem to be caring more about your fiance and his mom than anything about the wedding. I don''t know you, but how you are handling this really speaks volume about your character!

I think what some others posted about asking clergy or your wedding consultant for advice on how to handle the timing of the wedding right now is a good idea.

Take care
 

aljdewey

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Fata, I''m so deeply sorry to hear this. Thoughts to you, Mike and your families. I''m sure you''ll get a sense for the right thing to do.
 
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